Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Complaints corner  
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 23.06.2012, 20:21
miniMia's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: romandie
Posts: 9,975
Groaned at 101 Times in 92 Posts
Thanked 9,106 Times in 4,522 Posts
miniMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
My guess: streams of invective (probably in one direction), lingering bad feeling, and the temptation to take advantage of any small opportunity for revenge. It'll be unpleasant for both parties until one sells up and moves out. But what do I know, I only have one side of the story.
And hopefully he'll think twice about throw sh!t at children. What kind grown adult does that? That would be a bully.
The following 3 users would like to thank miniMia for this useful post:
  #62  
Old 23.06.2012, 20:25
swisspea's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: From one side of lake Zurich t
Posts: 6,355
Groaned at 42 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 6,448 Times in 2,964 Posts
swisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. He needs to understand that if he does anything harmful to your child, you will report it, and your child also understands that if someone hurts her, her parents will do something about it.

If he never does anything else that hurts anyone, that's a great outcome, and if it now escalates further, he has the beginning of a police history, which makes it far easier for the police to get involved in the future.

I am quite sure if the police thought it was 'not serious' they would not have bothered to knock on his door to speak to him about it.
The following 10 users would like to thank swisspea for this useful post:
  #63  
Old 23.06.2012, 20:49
moggy's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Thurgau (& London, UK)
Posts: 1,677
Groaned at 10 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 966 Times in 617 Posts
moggy has a reputation beyond reputemoggy has a reputation beyond reputemoggy has a reputation beyond reputemoggy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
It is the 1st time the ball as ever gone over into his garden, if i goes over again i will go over and ask for it back lets see if he throws it at my head.
Trust you have made it clear to the children not to go near him again, that was what I was inferring. Good luck
The following 2 users would like to thank moggy for this useful post:
  #64  
Old 23.06.2012, 21:18
Nil's Avatar
Nil Nil is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Basel
Posts: 10,356
Groaned at 428 Times in 333 Posts
Thanked 16,045 Times in 6,322 Posts
Nil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

I think you did the right thing, honey! I would do the same for my kids anytime over "neighbourhood friendliness".
The following 2 users would like to thank Nil for this useful post:
  #65  
Old 23.06.2012, 21:40
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Fribourg
Posts: 41
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 36 Times in 29 Posts
dive_bimbo is considered knowledgeabledive_bimbo is considered knowledgeabledive_bimbo is considered knowledgeable
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Hi Sutter
I am very sorry to hear that you have had problems from your big bully of a neighbour. It is wrong and he should be stopped if you can.
How about trying to find out how many people he has hurt, bullied and abused in the village and take them all round to the police and complain. Faced with soo many complaints surly they would rather have a quiet word with him about his behaviour reminding him what is appropriate. Leaving the people who complained still anonymous

I am not a fan of violence but I can easily understand how you felt. If it had been me I think I would have not been as controlled as you, well done you, you did do the right thing.

You could also have a word with the commune as well

I hope that it all goes well and your neighbour keeps himself to himself

good luck
This user would like to thank dive_bimbo for this useful post:
  #66  
Old 23.06.2012, 23:15
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,753
Groaned at 284 Times in 189 Posts
Thanked 18,644 Times in 7,830 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

of course, the risk is that this could set him over the edge and make him go on a gun rampage/killing spree...
  #67  
Old 23.06.2012, 23:29
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
of course, the risk is that this could set him over the edge and make him go on a gun rampage/killing spree...
Er, yeaaaah.

However, room for redemption is necessary. Good fences make good neighbours and all that. The best neighbours are never noticed...
This user would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #68  
Old 23.06.2012, 23:36
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

I am happy things have resolved! I was wondering if there is a way of putting a net to prevent balls going over to his property? I guess that would save you some grief
  #69  
Old 23.06.2012, 23:42
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Patriot missiles are the only conclusion. Or a letter written by the hand of the child nicely asking if / when in future the ball goes over the neighbour wouldn't mind being so kind as to throw it back over in his own good time.

Or missiles. Not sure which is more disarming charming.
This user would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #70  
Old 23.06.2012, 23:44
HAT's Avatar
HAT HAT is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Zurich near Zug
Posts: 1,249
Groaned at 82 Times in 48 Posts
Thanked 703 Times in 373 Posts
HAT is considered knowledgeableHAT is considered knowledgeableHAT is considered knowledgeable
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

So Sutter, now you also have your very own "bad neighbour" thread....

Mine only burnt my hedges...and he died after 1 year from pneumonia (may be due to my voodoo cursing under my breaths )...

Take it easy, it should be clear to him and other people around the area now.
  #71  
Old 24.06.2012, 00:22
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Guess you are more civilized than I am. When I first moved to Switzerland had some older kids picking on my son and also a crazy farmer who tried to slap some of the kids. I was in the garden and a friend of my son came over to me and told me what was happening , so I chased the older boy (literally ran chasing him to his house he was able to get away from me, so I knocked on the door and his father came out. I calmly told him waht would happen if I ever caught his son bullying my son or any of the other kids. I also went over to the farmer at his house and told him to his face that if he ever touched my son his wife would be a widow.

Never had a problem in the village since.
Seems that the Swiss are too scared to take matter into their own hands.
The Swiss bark but don't bite...Good For You!
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #72  
Old 24.06.2012, 01:58
Pachyderm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,549
Groaned at 76 Times in 55 Posts
Thanked 3,384 Times in 1,156 Posts
Pachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post

....... And I would put a fat question mark behind anything like "I have heard", "Neighbors report" "They told me".

......And a crying child does not mean there was necessarily physical violence involved.

....... Unless the guy isn't really dangerous (I would try to find out instead of listening to village neighbors' rumors), the OP's position is now weaker than before.

......... I don't know if it was right or wrong; however, I think it is astonishing that a person prefers listening to strangers in a forum rather than her own husband's opinion.
........ P.S. I can fully understand when a parent or the owner of an animal defends his/her children. But actions based rather on anger or panic are not always of help.

.......Cheers.
Wow. "Cheers" to this person too. Maybe he or she has knowledge that we don't have. Otherwise, this is so out of order.

What is it about some people on this forum? Gahhhh!!!!

Why is it that two people both read the same description of an event, and one instinctively feels sympathy and the other instinctively feels scepticism / suspicion?

With some stories, yes I can imagine an answer to that, especially when the 'complainer' is in trouble with the police. But a story like Sutter's? Why would she make this up? Why would her daughter make this up? Didn't the man in question essentially admit that he had done this?
The following 5 users would like to thank Pachyderm for this useful post:
  #73  
Old 24.06.2012, 02:32
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CH
Posts: 1,038
Groaned at 244 Times in 117 Posts
Thanked 699 Times in 434 Posts
Bucentaure is considered a nuisanceBucentaure is considered a nuisanceBucentaure is considered a nuisance
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Wow. "Cheers" to this person too. Maybe he or she has knowledge that we don't have. Otherwise, this is so out of order.
...
Cancel "cheers". Didn't want it to sound mean or anything like that.

My point was that the OP in fact might have some knowledge we don't have, but if she has she doesn't tell us (bruises? witnesses? Did she see or hear anything or does she completely rely upon what her 8 year old in fear and her old neighbors' rumors tell her?), probably because she is so upset about what happened.


Quote:
View Post
...
What is it about some people on this forum? Gahhhh!!!!

Why is it that two people both read the same description of an event, and one instinctively feels sympathy and the other instinctively feels scepticism / suspicion?
...
The problem is/was that instincts might get a situation worse. If someone asks for advice on a public forum one might get - among others - opinions one might not necessarily appreciate.


Quote:
View Post
...
With some stories, yes I can imagine an answer to that, especially when the 'complainer' is in trouble with the police. But a story like Sutter's? Why would she make this up?
...
Nobody said that. However, her daughter is a child, and village rumors can be totally unjustified. And apart from that, what if the guy is dangerous, and the police, having heard so many stories from the village newbies with their loud foreign kids, do in fact not give a damn about it, maybe thinking "OK, he was yelling at them again"?

Calling the police for help and for advice is never wrong, but calling blaming the other with no real evidence (maybe there is, but the OP didn't tell us, or at least I did not understand it, so sorry for that) might not be of help, again.


Quote:
View Post
...
Why would her daughter make this up?
...
Her daughter is a child, subject to suggestion and the family's and neighbors' expectation, not to mention the village rumors.


Quote:
View Post
...
Didn't the man in question essentially admit that he had done this?
If this is/was already stated before, I apologize. However, without any proof, bruises, witnesses or whatever the legal situation is not easy for the OP, and everyday life in the same street sure is not easier either.


I'm out of this thread. Thanks.
This user would like to thank Bucentaure for this useful post:
The following 2 users groan at Bucentaure for this post:
  #74  
Old 24.06.2012, 03:30
Pachyderm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,549
Groaned at 76 Times in 55 Posts
Thanked 3,384 Times in 1,156 Posts
Pachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
I'm out of this thread. Thanks.


You're welcome.
  #75  
Old 24.06.2012, 04:00
Justsquirrel's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Zurich
Posts: 111
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 136 Times in 65 Posts
Justsquirrel is considered knowledgeableJustsquirrel is considered knowledgeableJustsquirrel is considered knowledgeable
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
If this is/was already stated before, I apologize. However, without any proof, bruises, witnesses or whatever the legal situation is not easy for the OP, and everyday life in the same street sure is not easier either.
Sutter has already said that there was a bruise so think it is reasonable to assume to that the incident was as the child said. I have never met Sutter personally but from previous posts, she doesn't come across as the type who over-reacts or is hysterical.

When someone hurts your child, a primitive instinct kicks in and whilst most people can temper this when it is involving other kids, afterall your child needs to learn to manage in their environment, within reason, when it is an adult that is a whole different situation.

Maybe the adult in question has no idea about how his actions are being perceived, could be he has forgotten how intimidating an adult can be to a child, nor how much damage a ball can do (just trying to give possibilities here, not give a defence) but if he is not willing to at least discuss his concerns with the parents, it doesn't really leave many options available to parents but to take the course Sutter took.

It doesn't have to mean bad relations going forward, sometimes a bit of clarity about where the boundaries lie can be helpful all round. I think there is quite a difference from a grumpy neighbour shouting at kids, which though not exactly pleasant can be tolerated, to one who is actually causing physical pain, whether deliberate or not.
The following 2 users would like to thank Justsquirrel for this useful post:
  #76  
Old 24.06.2012, 04:49
Confloozed's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,801
Groaned at 104 Times in 91 Posts
Thanked 4,965 Times in 2,360 Posts
Confloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
When someone hurts your child, a primitive instinct kicks in and whilst most people can temper this when it is involving other kids, afterall your child needs to learn to manage in their environment, within reason, when it is an adult that is a whole different situation.[/COLOR]

.
So you are saying that a child needs to manage his surroundings, but as an adult a primitive instinct kicks in? So children have to act in a well mannered intelligent way, but the learned use of that knowledge is easily forgivable as they get older to allow rage and passion to take over as adults?

That doesn't make any sense. I know how I have dealt with those type of situations while living in France and in Switzerland, act like an adult. To those of you advocating as an eye for an eye as the solution, are really saying a lot as for role models for your children. When my one son hits the other, I don't tell the other it is Ok to his the 1st one back. Why are adults acting this way?

The next door neighbor has to dealt with or avoided, but the talk of going over there and knocking him out because a ball was thrown and caused a bruise is a complete over reaction. When one child does it to another, it's considered really nothing. When an adult not aware of his or her own strength does it, it's some kind of vicious attack.

From what Sutter explained it sounds like this person is rather bitter and has some problems. It's NOT OK for an adult to hurt a child. But, some people acting as if they are going to sound the posse and come down there and give the neighbor some medicine is not the intelligent way to do things. And to be quite frank, I would seriously doubt anyone on this forum that has these big words to speak would seriously show up in your village to pop your neighbor in the face.

This kind of situation with your neighbor will never be resolved with violence or the like.
The following 6 users would like to thank Confloozed for this useful post:
This user groans at Confloozed for this post:
  #77  
Old 24.06.2012, 08:09
drmom's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere in SG
Posts: 2,341
Groaned at 12 Times in 12 Posts
Thanked 2,187 Times in 1,050 Posts
drmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Cancel "cheers". Didn't want it to sound mean or anything like that.

My point was that the OP in fact might have some knowledge we don't have, but if she has she doesn't tell us (bruises? witnesses? Did she see or hear anything or does she completely rely upon what her 8 year old in fear and her old neighbors' rumors tell her?), probably because she is so upset about what happened.
Do you have any children?

From what I recall (and re-reading page 1) her son is 8 - it was his ball but her 11 year old daughter went over to the neighbor to retrieve the ball as the boy was too scared to do so. And yes, if my child came home crying, I would believe them - especially an 11 year old child. And if there was a mark where the ball hit her, even more proof.

I also do not advocate violence or (violent) threats as a solution. But this type of antisocial behavior from the neighbor can not be tolerated. If talking to him doesn't help and I felt my children were possibly going to be in future physical danger because of this man, I would consider calling the police. I might not do it the first time something happened because (a) I am a wimp and (b) I want to make sure that I really understand what is going on.

I hope this situation will not get out of hand. Unfortunately, there are jerks everywhere that can really make life unpleasant...
The following 4 users would like to thank drmom for this useful post:
  #78  
Old 24.06.2012, 08:51
Nil's Avatar
Nil Nil is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Basel
Posts: 10,356
Groaned at 428 Times in 333 Posts
Thanked 16,045 Times in 6,322 Posts
Nil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Cancel "cheers". Didn't want it to sound mean or anything like that.

My point was that the OP in fact might have some knowledge we don't have, but if she has she doesn't tell us (bruises? witnesses? Did she see or hear anything or does she completely rely upon what her 8 year old in fear and her old neighbors' rumors tell her?), probably because she is so upset about what happened.


The problem is/was that instincts might get a situation worse. If someone asks for advice on a public forum one might get - among others - opinions one might not necessarily appreciate.

Nobody said that. However, her daughter is a child, and village rumors can be totally unjustified. And apart from that, what if the guy is dangerous, and the police, having heard so many stories from the village newbies with their loud foreign kids, do in fact not give a damn about it, maybe thinking "OK, he was yelling at them again"?

Calling the police for help and for advice is never wrong, but calling blaming the other with no real evidence (maybe there is, but the OP didn't tell us, or at least I did not understand it, so sorry for that) might not be of help, again.

Her daughter is a child, subject to suggestion and the family's and neighbors' expectation, not to mention the village rumors.

If this is/was already stated before, I apologize. However, without any proof, bruises, witnesses or whatever the legal situation is not easy for the OP, and everyday life in the same street sure is not easier either.


I'm out of this thread. Thanks.
Wow!!! This is a child, yes. And she has all the rights to believe she says the truth because she knows her and not because she is a child and can invent or interpret wrongly a situation.

If a child comes to you and say she has been molested by someone, you will wait to see physical proof or witnesses to believe her?
The following 2 users would like to thank Nil for this useful post:
  #79  
Old 24.06.2012, 10:01
Wollishofener's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Glattbrugg
Posts: 18,978
Groaned at 332 Times in 257 Posts
Thanked 11,715 Times in 6,858 Posts
Wollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Guess you are more civilized than I am. When I first moved to Switzerland had some older kids picking on my son and also a crazy farmer who tried to slap some of the kids. I was in the garden and a friend of my son came over to me and told me what was happening , so I chased the older boy (literally ran chasing him to his house he was able to get away from me, so I knocked on the door and his father came out. I calmly told him waht would happen if I ever caught his son bullying my son or any of the other kids. I also went over to the farmer at his house and told him to his face that if he ever touched my son his wife would be a widow.

Never had a problem in the village since.
Seems that the Swiss are too scared to take matter into their own hands.
You obviously did not know my mum. Who never hesitated to phone such people up, telling her mind, and promising to send a good rope free-of-charge and she WAS Swiss, even if Schaffhausen is north-of-the-Rhine
This user would like to thank Wollishofener for this useful post:
  #80  
Old 24.06.2012, 10:12
Wollishofener's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Glattbrugg
Posts: 18,978
Groaned at 332 Times in 257 Posts
Thanked 11,715 Times in 6,858 Posts
Wollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Do you have any children?

From what I recall (and re-reading page 1) her son is 8 - it was his ball but her 11 year old daughter went over to the neighbor to retrieve the ball as the boy was too scared to do so. And yes, if my child came home crying, I would believe them - especially an 11 year old child. And if there was a mark where the ball hit her, even more proof.

I also do not advocate violence or (violent) threats as a solution. But this type of antisocial behavior from the neighbor can not be tolerated. If talking to him doesn't help and I felt my children were possibly going to be in future physical danger because of this man, I would consider calling the police. I might not do it the first time something happened because (a) I am a wimp and (b) I want to make sure that I really understand what is going on.

I hope this situation will not get out of hand. Unfortunately, there are jerks everywhere that can really make life unpleasant...
"consider calling the police" ? Sorry, but in Switzerland you HAVE TO CALL POLICE immediately as what happened was against the law ! It is the duty of victims and their families to report, not just an idea ! AND I am absolutely sure that police WILL and DOES act !
This user would like to thank Wollishofener for this useful post:
Closed Thread




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How can my husband adopt my daughter? stephanienie Family matters/health 11 05.06.2012 03:27
Mr. Angry is my neighbour... Sarneraa Housing in general 40 07.02.2011 15:56
My neighbour is a monster Sutter General off-topic 47 27.10.2010 22:35
My Keybodard Is Mad ? B.AF.VIEW TV/internet/telephone 6 11.02.2007 22:46


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 22:29.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0