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  #81  
Old 24.06.2012, 10:38
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Agreed, call the police immediately before this happens again.
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Old 24.06.2012, 11:01
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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"consider calling the police" ? Sorry, but in Switzerland you HAVE TO CALL POLICE immediately as what happened was against the law ! It is the duty of victims and their families to report, not just an idea ! AND I am absolutely sure that police WILL and DOES act !

Yes, I would consider calling the police. What if, the situation were as follows. Girl goes over to get ball, guy is a jerk and throws the ball at her to give it back to her but she misses it and it hits her in the face and leaves a mark. She cries. Still the same outcome, and he is still a jerk but maybe his intent was not to hit the girl in the head. I am NOT saying this is what happened, but as a parent, this is what I would consider could happen and take into account before involving the police.
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  #83  
Old 24.06.2012, 11:40
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

I totally feel for you Sutter - nobody wants trouble with the neighbours, especially with the children. But I did wonder if perhaps the hit was unintentional, eg, he threw the ball back to you daughter and she missed, and it hit her head, by accident, perhaps. Would have been very different if he'd slapped her, kicked her, etc. Your daughter was upset, with a bump, and scared - but it could have been accidental.

I am trying to understand the whole situation, but it is difficult without seeing the set-up. Could it be that the old guy is bitter because he used to live in splendid isolation, and then the land around him was sold, and covered with new houses, full of the creatures he is not very keen on, children and cats- he is now trapped in an enclave. Could it be, perhaps, that some of the new children have been taunting him, ringing his bell and running away (we used to do that with some old grumpies when I was a kid). Could it be that people make fun of him, that he is very lonely, that he's had a horrible life? Does not excuse hitting your child - but as said, he didn't hit her as such, but threw a ball back at her - which could have not had the intention of hurting her? Perhaps?

Must say that personally I wouldn't have called the police, as from the story the hit may not have been intentional. When the chips are down, you have to find a way to live near that guy - and again, personally I would have tried to 'bring him round' - the sad, grumpy old git may be tamable in the long-term - this will be very difficult now. Trying to think of the situation from his point of view - might help find a way forward in the long term.

In the UK we bought a house with a paddock/field at the bottom which belonged to our neighbour. We bought it because there was a Covenant on it which meant he could not build on it. But after 20 years, he managed to break the Covenant, sell the land, and we were surrounded with new houses, lots of noise, etc, and we did feel aggrieved (never hurt or shouted at anybody, of course). The neighbours who bought the bungalow next to us then wrote or phoned daily to cut the hedge trees by their kitchen and were a total nightmare- they even asked us to come and collect 'our' slugs and snails, which had apparently strayed from our garden!

Last edited by Odile; 24.06.2012 at 12:59.
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  #84  
Old 24.06.2012, 12:06
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

We had a football game last night neigbours, kids adults and all...in the garden, hitting the house...beers after all good....it is possible...Lol
  #85  
Old 24.06.2012, 12:24
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

ok first thanks for all your replies.

To be clear she was not alone she had her friend with her, she came home crying holding her head they both told me that he threw the ball at her head on purpose when he could of just given it to her. I went round to talk to him, and he was very aggressive with me shouting at me when i only asked in a calm voice why he had done this. I asked for advice on here aabout the police because my swiss husband refused to ring them, the more i thought about it the angrier i was, that is why i asked for advice, back in the UK i would of rang the police straight away.

I would not make a story up like this it is not my nature, and i would not lie about my daughter getting hurt (with a lump on her head). Other neighbours have told us there stories no one likes him, the police would not of gone round to see him if they did not believe me, or my daughter.

Yes his house was built before ours and it was farm land around him before, then a few yrs ago the farmer sold some of his land and we bought a plot and built our house, he his surrounded by kids, but he thinks he can rule the neighbourhood bullying everyone: Eek: not me, or my kids. A few weeks ago my other neighbours kids where playing with there ball in there garden and it went into his garden, they asked him over the fence for it back, and he said no it is in my garden now it belongs to me and refused to give it back (these children are only 4 and 5: Msnsad:

I can`t understand why someone could be so horrible towards children: Msnsad:
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  #86  
Old 24.06.2012, 12:38
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Hey Sutter. I agree with what you did. You have every right to call the police. I have a question though. Why did your husband didnt want to call the police and became upset when you did call them (if i read the posts correctly)?
What was he offering to do? Go out and talk to the guy himself or forget it and hope it will pass?
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Old 24.06.2012, 12:44
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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So you are saying that a child needs to manage his surroundings, but as an adult a primitive instinct kicks in? So children have to act in a well mannered intelligent way, but the learned use of that knowledge is easily forgivable as they get older to allow rage and passion to take over as adults?
No what i was meaning was as a parent when anyone hurts your child the protective instinct kicks in, I was speaking from the parents point of view and I do see that as a primitive instinct, maybe my wording was a bit confusing though. I was certainly not saying it is ok for an adult to behave with rage but that children have to manage.

My meaning was that it is easier for a parent to let go of the protective instinct when it is children amongst themselves as the child needs to be able to deal with life on their own, you cannot be with them 24 hours a day afterall but when it is an adult behaving in a vicious manner to a child, for me it is normal for a parent to protect their children in a reasonable manner, such as Sutter going to speak with the man in question, I was not advocating violence or saying that is was alright.
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Old 24.06.2012, 12:54
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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Hey Sutter. I agree with what you did. You have every right to call the police. I have a question though. Why did your husband didnt want to call the police and became upset when you did call them (if i read the posts correctly)?
What was he offering to do? Go out and talk to the guy himself or forget it and hope it will pass?
My husband went round to talk to him, but got no where with him, his wife was in the background shouting come in he told her to shut up he his not coming in, my husband said he didn`t want to go in, anyway my husband came home after a while, and told me there is no talking to him, he wouldn`t listen everytime my hubby said something the man just talked over him, my hubby as a very soft nature hates confrontation.
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Old 24.06.2012, 13:20
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Holding post for Phil_MCR and Faltrad....

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I can`t understand why someone could be so horrible towards children: Msnsad:
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Old 24.06.2012, 13:22
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

PS calling the police was the right move. Thumping the guy would only lay you open to assault charges. This way you have the law on your side.

Cheers,
Nick
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  #91  
Old 24.06.2012, 14:44
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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No what i was meaning was as a parent when anyone hurts your child the protective instinct kicks in, I was speaking from the parents point of view and I do see that as a primitive instinct, maybe my wording was a bit confusing though. I was certainly not saying it is ok for an adult to behave with rage but that children have to manage.

My meaning was that it is easier for a parent to let go of the protective instinct when it is children amongst themselves as the child needs to be able to deal with life on their own, you cannot be with them 24 hours a day afterall but when it is an adult behaving in a vicious manner to a child, for me it is normal for a parent to protect their children in a reasonable manner, such as Sutter going to speak with the man in question, I was not advocating violence or saying that is was alright.
I know now that you are saying that you have to raise children to be correct, and when what you have taught them, needs to stay with them when you are no longer are around them. But what I am saying is children grow into adults. And adults should have less excuse to act on their impulses then children. That's not to say that adults do not act like primates.
Case in point Sutter's neighbor. But two adults acting on impulse will never calm the situation down, it will only get worse before it gets better.
I was reading this thread to a Swiss friend who was defending the position of the father/husband that did not want to first call the police. How low that violence was here, and then later in life the Swiss reluctancy to settle international arguments by war.
I don't think it's being passive. I just think escalating things so fast is a bad idea, and from my experience is harder to go back and correct things.
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  #92  
Old 24.06.2012, 23:50
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

=> Sutter

are you saying that a old facker threw a ball right in your daughters face and your husband didn't do anything about it???

if it was me...

no seriously, tell your husband to grow a pair...

don't try to settle this things...a person doing this to children is just a HUGE warning sign...he needs to be aware of what he has done...
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  #93  
Old 25.06.2012, 00:07
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Ring his door bell and run away, three or four times a night for a a couple of weeks.
Let all the tyres down on his car.
Put dog poo in a brown paper bag on his doorstep, set the bag on fire, ring his door bell and run away.

If I think of any more things we used to do to the grumpy guy on our street from my youth I'll let you know.
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Old 25.06.2012, 01:21
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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But I did wonder if perhaps the hit was unintentional, eg, he threw the ball back to you daughter and she missed, and it hit her head, by accident, perhaps.

If I did that accidentally I would apologise to the kid, buy a chocolate for them and maybe take the injured kid back to their mum. The guy obviously is a nut.
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Old 25.06.2012, 12:17
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

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If I did that accidentally I would apologise to the kid, buy a chocolate for them and maybe take the injured kid back to their mum. The guy obviously is a nut.
I would actually add a 'c' and rearrange the letters, , that is exactly what he is..........
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Old 25.06.2012, 12:27
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

The Swiss aren't very good at confrontation. If the neighbors were relieved that someone finally called the police, then it was definitely time Sutter did.

What's more, Swiss men feel inferior when women show more courage than they do.
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Old 25.06.2012, 12:29
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

the guy needs a good slap, end of
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Old 26.06.2012, 09:56
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Maybe you can avoid the problem in the future altogether by either setting up a (tall) net between your yard and his to keep the ball in, or by encouraging (forcing?) the kids to go play ball in an area designed for such activities. There are several parks near me which have open fields or even footie areas (with goals) for the kids to play. Perhaps making use of such things will provide a peaceable solution for the whole neighborhood.

Hopefully your daughter recovers from her trauma quickly.
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Old 26.06.2012, 10:35
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

care to explain the groan uncle max?

Some bad tempered idiot assaults a young child deserves a good thump, no?
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Old 26.06.2012, 10:45
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Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

I think that he's trying to say that violence doesn't solve violence.
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