Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Complaints corner  
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 26.06.2012, 10:47
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 8,082
Groaned at 484 Times in 403 Posts
Thanked 14,715 Times in 5,780 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
I think that he's trying to say that violence doesn't solve violence.

ah that ideal world where everyone can be reasoned with, op should have gone over and given the guy a big hug
  #102  
Old 26.06.2012, 10:57
silverburn's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Unterageri
Posts: 826
Groaned at 37 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 833 Times in 343 Posts
silverburn has a reputation beyond reputesilverburn has a reputation beyond reputesilverburn has a reputation beyond reputesilverburn has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Alternatively, you and your neighbours post big signs in your gardens, stating "Beware of child bully". And put an arrow on it.

I say this in semi-jest.
This user would like to thank silverburn for this useful post:
  #103  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:01
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Assault? It seems very possible that the guy threw the ball back at her and she failed to catch it. He didn't hit her or slapped her- and it could just have been a unfortunate accident. He is grumpy and he does not like kids or cats - that does not make him a criminal.

Personally, I think I would have tried to let things calm down and talk to him a day or two later. When the chips are down, all the neighbours have to find ways of living with each other - somehow, and calling the cops might help- but I think could make things much worse. Hope it all calms down and works out. But I do feel sorry for grumpy if he used to live in splendid isolation and now is surrounded by kids and cats- because his neighbour has sold the land. He possibly feels totally trapped.
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #104  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:09
PaddyG's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pensier, Fribourg
Posts: 9,243
Groaned at 118 Times in 102 Posts
Thanked 16,857 Times in 5,912 Posts
PaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
But I do feel sorry for grumpy if he used to live in splendid isolation and now is surrounded by kids and cats- because his neighbour has sold the land. He possibly feels totally trapped.
That's not an excuse for being a miserable, aggressive arsehole. I also don't hold with the "it was an accident" argument. He could have thrown it at her feet, dropped in it on the ground, refused to give it back, anything. But to throw a football from what, a metre or so, at an 11 year old's head with enough force to cause bruising and swelling?
I'm not surprised he's on his 3rd wife, he probably knocks them about to.
The fact the police saw enough in the incident to talk to him just shows it was entirely unreasonable behaviour.
__________________
Stealing jokes off the internet and passing them off as my own since 1995
The following 5 users would like to thank PaddyG for this useful post:
  #105  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:10
Carlos R's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Roundn'about Basel
Posts: 7,232
Groaned at 105 Times in 95 Posts
Thanked 9,934 Times in 4,178 Posts
Carlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
Personally, I think I would have tried to let things calm down and talk to him a day or two later. When the chips are down, all the neighbours have to find ways of living with each other - somehow, and calling the cops might help- but I think could make things much worse. Hope it all calms down and works out. But I do feel sorry for grumpy if he used to live in splendid isolation and now is surrounded by kids and cats- because his neighbour has sold the land. He possibly feels totally trapped.
Your first comment cuts both ways. He has to learn to live with his surroundings too. The "I've been living here for years so you have to put up with me" argument is xenophobic (and I use the word specifically) and irrelevant.

If he doesn't want to change, then he's going to get more grumpy.

@ BB2, yes it is ideal, but it is also the law.
The following 4 users would like to thank Carlos R for this useful post:
  #106  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:12
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 8,082
Groaned at 484 Times in 403 Posts
Thanked 14,715 Times in 5,780 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

exactly! it was a ball and a young girl, not some chav he found breaking into his house!!! there is no excuse, hand the ball back, or just kick it back over the fence, or even keep it if your really that big an arsehole, there is no other vaild response.
This user would like to thank bigblue2 for this useful post:
  #107  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:13
Homer's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Berner Oberland
Posts: 706
Groaned at 10 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 799 Times in 363 Posts
Homer has a reputation beyond reputeHomer has a reputation beyond reputeHomer has a reputation beyond reputeHomer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Something clearly needed to be done in this situation and I think Sutter was bang on when she called the po'lice.

I don't think ignoring it would have done anything but give this guy the green light to carry on being a penis and violence, well, who knows but personally I think it just leads to further violence.

Is this the same neighbour who hits his own wife and kid - see a similar thread by Sutter in the Similar Thread category below?
The following 2 users would like to thank Homer for this useful post:
  #108  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:21
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

what makes me doubt that he did not mean to hit Sutter's girl in the face, is the information that he did not apologize, he never said sorry to the girl. Furthermore when Sutter and hubby went for an explanation, what did he do? Continued behaving like an ass.
I agree that he might not be a criminal, but he does seem to have a temper problem and we all know where that can lead...Hope he stops annoying you Sutter and I would also make sure the interaction you have with him is kept to a minimal.
The following 3 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #109  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:27
slammer's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Lummerland
Posts: 5,335
Groaned at 151 Times in 106 Posts
Thanked 9,297 Times in 3,535 Posts
slammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

This thread seems to be changing course to find out if violence is acceptable in a case like this.
So the police come and give the bugger a real good, finger wagging stern telling off.
Does anybody think that this will change anything? Methinks not! At the next chance the same thing will happen again or a kid gets a kick. What then?
If everybody plays by the rules, the rules never change, time after time after time.
Violence changes the rules. The trick is not to be seen. A push, a raised fist or a in the face eye to eye contact is for most enough, bullies are inherent cowards, easy to intimidate and tend to avoid confrontations with other grown ups.
This user groans at slammer for this post:
  #110  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:42
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Let's just behave like toddlers and smack each other the moment we think we are Right or some grievance needs settling.

That'll make the neighbourhood nicer and set a good example to the child in question. While we're at it, we may as well arm ourselves openly and get rid of the Police, as it'd save us money and we could take care of our problems ourselves.

Or, you know, perhaps we could be grown up? Build bridges, move on...

Relevent Groan button below right. If you can read.
The following 5 users would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
This user groans at Uncle Max for this post:
  #111  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:43
slammer's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Lummerland
Posts: 5,335
Groaned at 151 Times in 106 Posts
Thanked 9,297 Times in 3,535 Posts
slammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond reputeslammer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Uncle Max, singing Kumbayah and hoping for peace and goodwill to flower in somebody like that is useless.
There are borders that you just do not cross, no matter how much your video cables are unhooked.
Violence agains a kid and all bets are off, sorry if you don't like my opinion.
By the way I have never groaned at anybody, never will.
This user would like to thank slammer for this useful post:
  #112  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:43
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: north
Posts: 6,132
Groaned at 218 Times in 138 Posts
Thanked 5,100 Times in 2,636 Posts
rob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

so its been a few days since, has he calmed down or is he grumpy?
  #113  
Old 26.06.2012, 11:47
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Uncle Max, singing Kumbayah and hoping for peace and goodwill to flower in somebody like that is useless.
There are borders that you just do not cross, no matter how much your video cables are unhooked.
Violence agains a kid and all bets are off, sorry if you don't like my opinion.
By the way I have never groaned at anybody, never will.
Don't worry about my opinion but that of the law; look after yourself. A premeditated assault charge would make you look the real Big Fella, eh?

Do you encourage children to settle scores with violence?
This user would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #114  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:01
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

It's a pity that some want to make this issue one of extremes. I am not saying it WAS an accident, but that it could have been just a misjudgement- and we will never know. I am not saying that Sutter did the 'wrong' thing either, just that personally I would have tried to keep the cops out and deal with this when things had calmed down - and tried to see it from his point of view- if the land around him was recently sold for new build under his feet.

That's all. Just an opinion, my own - no judgement. Just my 2 Rappen for what it is worth (not much, I know). Hope things settle down and you all find a way to live peacefully.
The following 3 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #115  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:16
Pachyderm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,549
Groaned at 76 Times in 55 Posts
Thanked 3,384 Times in 1,156 Posts
Pachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond reputePachyderm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Uncle Max, singing Kumbayah and hoping for peace and goodwill to flower in somebody like that is useless.
There are borders that you just do not cross, no matter how much your video cables are unhooked.
Violence agains a kid and all bets are off, sorry if you don't like my opinion.
By the way I have never groaned at anybody, never will.
No need for the sarcasm. Just because someone doesn't advocate the "punch first, think later" approach does not mean the same as giving the man a hug. There is a middle ground, and I occupy it along with most people.

As I've said earlier I believe Sutter's story and I think the neighbour behaved reprehensibly. There's no excuse for harming a child.

But hitting the guy is not going to solve the problem. In law-abiding Switzerland,
a warning from the police Can be a pretty effective sanction.
The following 2 users would like to thank Pachyderm for this useful post:
  #116  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:19
Sutter's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Thurgau
Posts: 5,799
Groaned at 68 Times in 48 Posts
Thanked 2,824 Times in 1,605 Posts
Sutter has a reputation beyond reputeSutter has a reputation beyond reputeSutter has a reputation beyond reputeSutter has a reputation beyond reputeSutter has a reputation beyond reputeSutter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

It was NOT an accident he could of passed her the ball he THREW IT ON PURPOSE AT HER HEAD, leaving it for a few days would of made him think he could get away with it, and what if he did something the next day to another kid, it had to be dealt with right away.

We have a big garden with a big football net (facing the other side) my son and his friends play everyday in my garden that was the first time it flew over into his garden.

Every house around him as kids he his grumpy with all the neighbours doesn`t like anyone likes to act the big man he his a big bully grrrrrrrrrrrr
__________________
Smile it is another day
  #117  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:40
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: ZH
Posts: 87
Groaned at 14 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 85 Times in 41 Posts
HatersGonnaHate is considered knowledgeableHatersGonnaHate is considered knowledgeableHatersGonnaHate is considered knowledgeable
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
I am not saying it WAS an accident, but that it could have been just a misjudgement-
I really don't get you.

Did you read my previous reply? Let us assume that it was an accident so he hit a kid on the face accidentally and then just acted like it never happened?

Extreme example but it is like someone hits a child while driving and then does not stop, well it was an accident.

Which ever way you look at it the guy has issues.
This user would like to thank HatersGonnaHate for this useful post:
  #118  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:45
Confloozed's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,801
Groaned at 104 Times in 91 Posts
Thanked 4,965 Times in 2,360 Posts
Confloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
ah that ideal world where everyone can be reasoned with, op should have gone over and given the guy a big hug
I don't think that's what they were saying at all. But some of you are giving this aggressive advice, and to be honest none of you have to live next door to her neighbor. Would you personally accept responsibility for any charges brought against Sutter if the police set you as an accomplice for advising her, or egging her on to strike her neighbor?

Some of the members of this forum are always the ones that insist on jumping the gun, being aggressive, or advocating violence, but, in this case with Sutter, do they have to live in her shoes after this particular incident has passed? They don't, and they can easily erase themselves into non existence. Offering useful advice she can use to resolve this and future conflicts is the way to go.

I have first hand witnessed neighbors resorting to violence in the instance of what looked like an attack on a young boy, and seen the whole thing spiral out of control, with the results of warring neighbors for over 20 years. You think calling the cops first is the right way to go, just wait for this guy to pick up on every move you make this his finger now firmly placed over the speed dial to cops...loud kids, noisey pets, pets peeing, garden work on a Sunday, noisey neighbors, ball lands on guy's property, BBQ grill smoke lofts into his area, and on and on.

Let's say this is entirely the fault of the neighbor, and he did throw the ball with intention of hurting your daughter. Keep your children away from him. Thank God it wasn't a rock or anything else. If the ball goes over the fence the next time consider it a loss. Have the kids play elsewhere. Going over there to punch him will certainly not have any effect to making him calm down and invite you over for afternoon tea.
The following 5 users would like to thank Confloozed for this useful post:
  #119  
Old 26.06.2012, 12:52
adrianlondon's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 9,131
Groaned at 170 Times in 153 Posts
Thanked 25,643 Times in 6,892 Posts
adrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Shoot him in the face! Then invite him around for a BBQ and glass of wine. Then call the police and whilst they're chatting with him, put a passive aggressive letter through his letterbox.

Every option covered.
The following 4 users would like to thank adrianlondon for this useful post:
  #120  
Old 26.06.2012, 13:04
Confloozed's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,801
Groaned at 104 Times in 91 Posts
Thanked 4,965 Times in 2,360 Posts
Confloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond reputeConfloozed has a reputation beyond repute
Re: my blood is boiling i am so mad at my neighbour hurting my daughter

Quote:
View Post
Shoot him in the face! Then invite him around for a BBQ and glass of wine. Then call the police and whilst they're chatting with him, put a passive aggressive letter through his letterbox.

Every option covered.
Passive aggrssive letter...I'm laughing over here, but not thanking it
This user would like to thank Confloozed for this useful post:
Closed Thread




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How can my husband adopt my daughter? stephanienie Family matters/health 11 05.06.2012 03:27
Mr. Angry is my neighbour... Sarneraa Housing in general 40 07.02.2011 15:56
My neighbour is a monster Sutter General off-topic 47 27.10.2010 22:35
My Keybodard Is Mad ? B.AF.VIEW TV/internet/telephone 6 11.02.2007 22:46


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 10:36.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0