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Old 02.10.2012, 22:41
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No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

I used to take bus to work and the bus passed by an international school. Every morning, there would be alot of teachers and students on the bus so it's inevitable you would need to stand in the bus.

There were a few times I got on the bus late and all the seats are taken. It was quite disheartening to see no one giving seats to me (I was 7-month / 8-month pregnant then). I didn't expect much from the older children but the teachers too?!! At least, I am sure I will never put my kids in international school next time. If the teachers cannot set good examples to the children (being civic conscious), how do I trust my kids with them next time?

In addition, I also saw that these adults generally do not give seats to the younger children (say 5-6 years old) going to the school. Is this the way of life in Europe? Or am I in a route where people are just too self-centred?
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Old 02.10.2012, 22:51
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

Sad but true. Chivalry is dead.
But I bet if you ask someone for their seat they would give it to you.
Picking on the older school kids would probably get results.
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Old 02.10.2012, 22:51
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

I can understand that a seat not being offered to a pregnant women is not the best but 5-6 year old kids are more then capable of standing on their own why on earth should an adult have to give up a sear for kids! Wouldnt be expected here and I dont know too many places where this would be expected, disabled, elderly and pregnant women yes but not a bunch of kids who should learn that it is they who really should give up a seat for an adult and learn about respecting their elders!
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Old 02.10.2012, 22:54
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

I'd look at you. If you made eye contact for more than a split second, I'd get up and offer you my seat. Otherwise I probably wouldn't take the risk of offending someone who's simply fat. Or get some weird rant in a language I don't understand (which is most of them) about how the person is capable of standing thankyouverymuch.

As for kids ... they are usually full of energy and can't sit still anyway; they can stand.
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Old 02.10.2012, 22:58
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

I can understand your frustrations, however...

When I was pregnant, I didn't expect anyone to give up their seat for me. It was nice when they did, but I didn't expect it.

At least in another month or so, it will no longer be an issue for you. Then, you'll become frustrated about people not making room for your baby buggy!
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Old 02.10.2012, 22:58
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

So are you saying that this happened every time you rode the bus during times that the seats were taken, or just a few times?

Might you have carried small (comparatively speaking) during your pregnancy, and was it winter during your 7th/8th month, which would necessitate being covered by a heavy coat? Perhaps the people on the bus did not realize that you were pregnant.

How could you be sure that all the people who did not give up a seat for you were associated with the international school?

If the bus was standing-room-only, it would seem that you should not hold it against everyone on it for not giving up their seat for you if only a handful of riders were actually able to observe your condition and were in a nearby position that would allow them to give their seat to you.

I do believe that adults in good health should be willing to forego a seat for the elderly, pregnant women, or adults with small children. That said, I do not believe that one can generalize about the integrity or skill of the teachers/employees of an entire school/business just because of a behaviour observed by one or more persons who are associated with it.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:00
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

It's a cultural difference that's been observed before, not a deterioration of behaviour here.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:02
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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Or am I in a route where people are just too self-centred?
sounds like irony to me.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:08
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

Why can't people just open their mouths and ask? I have to admit, I'm not at my most "switched on" in the mornings and would no more notice a pregnant woman getting on a bus than someone getting on dressed in a chicken costume. I'm normally reading my book and am firmly plugged into my earphones.

What's so wrong with society these days that a person can't just give a nudge and/or say, at the very least (if they no-speako-di-lingo) "Excuse me", point at their belly then point at a seat?
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:14
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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Why can't people just open their mouths and ask? I have to admit, I'm not at my most "switched on" in the mornings and would no more notice a pregnant woman getting on a bus than someone getting on dressed in a chicken costume. I'm normally reading my book and am firmly plugged into my earphones.

What's so wrong with society these days that a person can't just give a nudge and/or say, at the very least (if they don't speako di lingo) "Excuse me", point at their belly then point at a seat?
Good to see someone said exactly what I was also thinking! The OP is assuming the bus is full of mind readers who know she wants a seat, the number of times I have seen a pregnant women refuse the offer of a seat because they want to stand as it is more comfortable equals those that want to sit as most bus trips here are relatively short in distance.

If people are blaming culture and supposed rude people then they need to look closer at themselves and go if I bothered to ask the likelihood is someone will actually give me a seat, however given you didnt bother its a bit rich to come on here and rant about european culture and spolit kids and teachers from international schools.

Seems like younare very quick to judge others when a simple request would most likely have solved it.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:18
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

Yeah, despite how unfortunate it may be, I do think that being self-centered is just human-nature, for the most part. So I think that to not be self-centered requires you to kind of step out of the norm.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:20
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

I am not talking about 1 person not giving seat. It's a noisy bus where teachers are chatting loudly in buses (yes, the teachers' voices are louder than the children's). And it's not one or two times.

I felt upset seeing no one giving seats to the little ones who have to stand with their mom on the moving bus.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:20
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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Yeah, despite how unfortunate it may be, I do think that being self-centered is just human-nature, for the most part. So I think that to not be self-centered requires you to kind of step out of the norm.
isn't expecting others to give up their seat "self-centered"?

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Old 02.10.2012, 23:24
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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I felt upset seeing no one giving seats to the little ones who have to stand with their mom on the moving bus.
So you find it ok for young kids to walk along a road to school as per your other post but are horrified about them standing up on a perfectly normal bus. Where is the consistency in this comparison?

They probably have a lot better balance then you give them credit for, let them stand!
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:27
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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In addition, I also saw that these adults generally do not give seats to the younger children (say 5-6 years old) going to the school. Is this the way of life in Europe? Or am I in a route where people are just too self-centred?
The children have paid half price, why should an adult paying a higher fare stand?
Funnily enough I was offered a seat on a bus in Malta last week.
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:43
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

My 2-3-4 year old was/is perfectly capable of standing and holding on (or not) on the bus/tram/train, it's just about practice...he's nearly 5 now and he can stand and rarely needs to hold on and has never hurt himself.

Alternatively, I've been on the tram/bus with him in a pram when he was smaller, and had a couple of teenagers arguing over which one of them was going to help me lift the pram off the bus when we got to our stop.

As said by others, if you want a seat, make eye contact or ask them to give up their seat...it's more likely they don't want to accidentally offend you if you're just plain fat...

Personally, having had three children, I felt that I needed a seat far more when I was in the throes of morning sickness (and not 'showing' pregnant) as I was in the final stages of pregnancy...that was the irony of it all...
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Old 02.10.2012, 23:46
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

We were still living in Basel when MrsNickatbasel was pregnant with NickatbaselJnr. People almost always gave up their seats on the Basel trams and buses. People were usually pretty good if either of us was carrying NickatbaselJnr in a sling.

Experience in ZH is people are no worse. Maybe you just got on the one tram out of 100.

Far worse in this respect is London.

Cheers,
Nick
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Old 03.10.2012, 01:02
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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We were still living in Basel when MrsNickatbasel was pregnant with NickatbaselJnr. People almost always gave up their seats on the Basel trams and buses. People were usually pretty good if either of us was carrying NickatbaselJnr in a sling.

Experience in ZH is people are no worse. Maybe you just got on the one tram out of 100.

Far worse in this respect is London.

Cheers,
Nick
It can depend on the S-line or the tram-line or the bus-line. I for years used both S-7 and S-5 but only two years ago learnt out of police statements that S-7 has a good reputation and S-5 a bad one for the behaviour of passengers. Similar geographic locations, similar schedules, so that I cannot tell you why but it apparently is fact. In London, a tube-station which could qualify as a rugby-training-place is Notting-Hill-Gate While the same "price" in Paris goes to Châtelet.

So that I would not even jump to conclusions about that international school.
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Old 03.10.2012, 01:15
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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It can depend on the S-line or the tram-line or the bus-line. I for years used both S-7 and S-5 but only two years ago learnt out of police statements that S-7 has a good reputation and S-5 a bad one for the behaviour of passengers.
I can confirm that the S5 can be a zoo, particularly in the evening...
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Old 03.10.2012, 01:16
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Re: No one gives seat to a 8-month pregnant woman

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It can depend on the S-line or the tram-line or the bus-line. I for years used both S-7 and S-5 but only two years ago learnt out of police statements that S-7 has a good reputation and S-5 a bad one for the behaviour of passengers. Similar geographic locations, similar schedules, so that I cannot tell you why
Hmmm... Gold Coast vs Uster/Wetzikon... couldn't imagine!
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