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Old 17.11.2012, 18:27
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In laws problem

Hello guys.
Am so frustrating to stay with my in laws, my husband and i we have moved to Geneva. My husband start working soon, and we will get our own place soon as he starts to work.

We have been living in there house for almost 5month, we also share the bill. But i have realised they don’t like me especial the father in law who is his step father.

Today at lunch time he provided wine, and he gave me a cheap glass while they took expensive and nice glasses, and my husband and i came to realise when we were washing the dishes,

There is a day he complained about a sofa we are sitting on that it’s getting spoiled since we started sitting on it. Today he complained about the bed that we are spoiling.

I think i can write a book about the things we go through, but i don’t want to make you guys bored,

How do you take this situation do you guys have mean in laws? I will appreciate your comments thanks a lot
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:31
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Re: In laws problem

You're adults and you're making use of your parents-in-law's hospitality for....5 months!?!

Shared bills or no shared bills please grow up and get a place of your own. I'd also get bloody fed up of house guests heading into month 6.
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:39
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Re: In laws problem

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You're adults and you're making use of your parents-in-law's hospitality for....5 months!?!

Shared bills or no shared bills please grow up and get a place of your own. I'd also get bloody fed up of house guests heading into month 6.
It was obviously just for the first months, she said they will be moving once her husbands starts work.

To the OP maybe you are taking things a little too seriously? The wine glass might have been a coincidence and the couch and bed - are you sure he is not joking? I could imagine my FIL saying something like that as a joke.
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:43
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Re: In laws problem

Regarding the cheap wine glass arent you getting a bit paranoid? It may be as simple as he just grabbed the nearest glasses and poured the wine, thats certainly how I would do it as I am unlike.y to check if I have given everyone a top quality glass as my focus is to make sure they each actually get nice wine rather then worry about the glass. Surely the wine still tasted fine
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:48
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Re: In laws problem

I understand, but when we wanted to change jobs my husband discussed with them and they agreed us to stay at there place, otherwise we would have not take this decision to change jobs if we knew this was going to hapen. we left everything to take a big opportunity for my patner then the contract delayed, thats why we endup staying,

they use to come to our place many times and we never ever treated them bad, we would have not minded them to stay longer,
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:49
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Re: In laws problem

Have a chat with your father-in-law, apologise for staying so long and how you understand how difficult it is for them and that you'll be moving out soon as you can. Be gracious.

In the mean time, do your best to stay out of their way, give them lots of space in the evenings etc. Go out for a walk or stay in your room, leave him to his sofa and his good wine.

Make sure you both move out on good terms because remember he was decent enough to allow you to stay, for 5 months!! Amazing! My MIL would never do that for us, a weekend and she would want us out.. No matter what his behaviour is like now, he has given up his home, his space to help you and his son.

Hurry up and find a place of your own.
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:52
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Re: In laws problem

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I understand, but when we wanted to change jobs my husband discussed with them and they agreed us to stay at there place, otherwise we would have not take this decision to change jobs if we knew this was going to hapen. we left everything to take a big opportunity for my patner then the contract delayed, thats why we endup staying,

they use to come to our place many times and we never ever treated them bad, we would have not minded them to stay longer,
He is not treating you badly. He just wants his space back - 5 months is a long time. You would feel the exact same if it were you. Maybe you wouldn't behave as badly, but then he is older and more cranky - men get like that
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:52
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Re: In laws problem

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It was obviously just for the first months, she said they will be moving once her husbands starts work.

To the OP maybe you are taking things a little too seriously? The wine glass might have been a coincidence and the couch and bed - are you sure he is not joking? I could imagine my FIL saying something like that as a joke.
the contract delayed thats why we end up staying more, but they didn't have a problem. they told my partner to stay until he has the contract in the hand.

about the bed no he was not joking, we had to change the matress ups and down,
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:54
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Re: In laws problem

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the contract delayed thats why we end up staying more, but they didn't have a problem. they told my partner to stay until he has the contract in the hand.

about the bed no he was not joking, we had to change the matress ups and down,
Well, then I would say stay calm, it will be over soon.
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:56
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He is not treating you badly. He just wants his space back - 5 months is a long time. You would feel the exact same if it were you. Maybe you wouldn't behave as badly, but then he is older and more cranky - men get like that
thank you for your comment, its true 5 month is long time to stay at someone place. anyway we will be living soon,

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Well, then I would say stay calm, it will be over soon.
I appreciate your feedback

Last edited by jrspet; 17.11.2012 at 19:06. Reason: Merging of successive posts
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Old 17.11.2012, 18:58
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Re: In laws problem

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anyway we will be living soon,

And when you both eventually do, invite them over - it is the least you can do for their hospitality.
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Old 17.11.2012, 19:12
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Re: In laws problem

Surely the whole thing is more than adequately explained in the title ?
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Old 17.11.2012, 19:14
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Re: In laws problem

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Have a chat with your father-in-law, apologise for staying so long and how you understand how difficult it is for them and that you'll be moving out soon as you can. Be gracious.

In the mean time, do your best to stay out of their way, give them lots of space in the evenings etc. Go out for a walk or stay in your room, leave him to his sofa and his good wine.

Make sure you both move out on good terms because remember he was decent enough to allow you to stay, for 5 months!! Amazing! My MIL would never do that for us, a weekend and she would want us out.. No matter what his behaviour is like now, he has given up his home, his space to help you and his son.

Hurry up and find a place of your own.

We were staying in our room most of the time and they complained that we are always inn our room, when we go out our self giving them space, the mother salk, they complain about every thing,

We apreciate a lot them leting us to stay for this long,

we have started searching for a place hopefull we will get soon.
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Old 17.11.2012, 19:26
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Re: In laws problem

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the contract delayed thats why we end up staying more, but they didn't have a problem.
Accepting how things are, and being gracious and as patient as you can...doesn't mean they can't wish it hadn't worked out that way.

I'd be as patient as you possibly can, gracious as you possibly can, helpful as you possibly can, and absent as much as possible, and get out of there as fast as you can!
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Old 17.11.2012, 20:39
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Re: In laws problem

Sounds like both sides are getting simply fed up with each other.
And 5 months is simply to long for you to have stayed. I can no longer stay more than 4 days at my rents house before going insane. Start looking already for places now cause it will take you a while to find something
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Old 17.11.2012, 20:41
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Re: In laws problem

Fish and visitors ...
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Old 17.11.2012, 21:05
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Re: In laws problem

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Fish and visitors ...
Providing they are fresh from day 1.....
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Old 17.11.2012, 21:07
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Re: In laws problem

Have you thought about talking to them about your concerns? Since you'll be stuck there for awhile, perhaps it's good to have a "clear the air" discussion; one without accusation but filled with lots of listening and compassion.
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Old 17.11.2012, 22:23
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Have you thought about talking to them about your concerns? Since you'll be stuck there for awhile, perhaps it's good to have a "clear the air" discussion; one without accusation but filled with lots of listening and compassion.

Thanks for your reply. The situation has become too complicated and bad, theonly way to fix things is to leave the place, they complain about everything,they are so bitter, whets bad is the waythey treat their son it’s sad, his stepfather treat his own son soooo gooodwhen he comes

The step father likes talking shit about people for no reason.. he is thosetype of people who think what they do and say right and the rest of the people are long.

My partner and I, we took them for 3 days trip we paid for the hotel, airticket food everything but that was before we came to live here. this how nice we were to them,


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Sounds like both sides are getting simply fed up with each other.
And 5 months is simply to long for you to have stayed. I can no longer stay more than 4 days at my rents house before going insane. Start looking already for places now cause it will take you a while to find something
am going insane...

Last edited by jrspet; 18.11.2012 at 01:14. Reason: Merging of successive posts
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Old 18.11.2012, 07:53
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Re: In laws problem

I think the parents of your partner are extremly patient. Some years ago my son brought his girlfriend in my house and didn't show any sign of moving out. After ten weeks I told them to look for a flat immediately and gave them a deadline of four weeks. It worked beautifully. They moved out after two weeks.
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