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  #161  
Old 10.09.2013, 01:21
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Re: Swiss Stare

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we've let this thread get WAY off topic
*sigh* Yeah, because nothing says 'lets get this topic back to something a bit more intelligent' than a dude posting an animated gif of bouncing tits.

After living in more than one country of the EU over the past 20 years, I noticed the 'staring', but I suspect it's because Switzerland is small and provincial and folks notice something new or different a bit more readily. I remember a Finnish guy explaining to me how he saw a black person on the streets of Helsinki for the first time in the 70s....and couldn't help but stare at the novelty.
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Old 10.09.2013, 10:28
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Re: Swiss Stare

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*sigh* Yeah, because nothing says 'lets get this topic back to something a bit more intelligent' than a dude posting an animated gif of bouncing tits.

After living in more than one country of the EU over the past 20 years, I noticed the 'staring', but I suspect it's because Switzerland is small and provincial and folks notice something new or different a bit more readily. I remember a Finnish guy explaining to me how he saw a black person on the streets of Helsinki for the first time in the 70s....and couldn't help but stare at the novelty.
It's rather rude, but sometimes people are so surprised by something they don't expect that they fall back to "child mode". This is of course very uncomfortable for the affected person. I experienced this first hand as a very blonde person in south-east Asia some decades ago. I should have requested an admission fee to the 'show' with an extra charge for touching.

On the other hand imagine my reaction to the first orange (sprayed) person I saw in Britain. Oh, I can show you:
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  #163  
Old 10.09.2013, 11:50
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Re: Swiss Stare

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After living in more than one country of the EU over the past 20 years, I noticed the 'staring', but I suspect it's because Switzerland is small and provincial and folks notice something new or different a bit more readily. I remember a Finnish guy explaining to me how he saw a black person on the streets of Helsinki for the first time in the 70s....and couldn't help but stare at the novelty.
Switzerland is small, but not provincial.... and definitely not suspended in the Helsinki of '70s kind of time warp....
People "stare" because it is a cultural trait. And I think I have said it numerous times in different situations, they don't even stare that much.

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In the countries of South, such as my little part of Mediterranean, we look at each other much more than here. I've always noticed, when traveling from NYC to my home town, how already at the airport my appearance is studied in detail, judged, and assessed: I could see the eyes traveling from my head to toe, no attempts at discretion.
Ha ha, yes. In my corner of the world we look at each other and assess every detail of our appearance - especially weight, clothes, way of talking. On the other hand, I was told by a foreigner (ah, foreigners, what do they know?), we do that to seduce each other ..... allegedly our national sport.
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  #164  
Old 10.09.2013, 12:41
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Re: Swiss Stare

I cought myself staring as well...not in a judging way or anything but mainly out of curiosity and awe...last week when i was on the train i saw this amazingly beautiful woman. she had the most incredible eyes and i just could not stop staring at her. i must have made her feel very unconfortable. I am not into girls or anything, but i do appreciate beauty when i see it.
So next time you feel like someone is staring at you, it might just mean that
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  #165  
Old 10.09.2013, 12:43
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Re: Swiss Stare

I think I am much more guilty of staring than the Swiss. If anything they try to avoid eye contact (with me anyway ).
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  #166  
Old 10.09.2013, 12:54
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Re: Swiss Stare

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I am still not convinced if I understand correctly what this "staring" means for our Anglo-Saxon friends. What I would probably call "looking at someone" they would call it "staring"...We live among people, we look at each other..why on earth is this a major discomfort for some? I have rarely seen anyone here still looking at you after your eyes meet.
What's normally meant by staring is continuing to look at someone for a long time, or over and over again. For example, if I'm on a train sat opposite an attractive young lady in a short skirt, my eyes may stray to her hemline, and that's surely to be expected; but if they stay there, or continually return to her over a period of time, then that's staring.

Of course, it doesn't have to actually have a reason like that (and I use it deliberately to demonstrate an occasion when it would almost certainly make the staree uncomfortable) but the fact of someone's eyes being continually directed in your direction is what's being talked about.

In England it's considered very rude to stare, such that if you are looking at someone and they look in your direction you absolutely must avert your eyes immediately and pretend that you weren't looking at all.

Focussing on an object just over the shoulder of someone, or out of a train window next to them, can be just as intrusive, but as you're clearly not actually looking at them it's not subject by the above rule.
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  #167  
Old 10.09.2013, 13:05
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Re: Swiss Stare

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I cought myself staring as well...not in a judging way or anything but mainly out of curiosity and awe...last week when i was on the train i saw this amazingly beautiful woman. she had the most incredible eyes and i just could not stop staring at her. i must have made her feel very unconfortable. I am not into girls or anything, but i do appreciate beauty when i see it.
So next time you feel like someone is staring at you, it might just mean that
If I catch a man staring at me and admiring my beauty, I assure you, I will NOT appreciate it.

I think Ace1 summed up what staring is pretty well.

Nobody can resist the urge of 'attraction' (or distraction), that's why it's called being "attracted".

It's what you do after that that counts.


........ so, tell us more about this lady
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  #168  
Old 10.09.2013, 13:24
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Re: Swiss Stare

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It's what you do after that that counts.
I put on my dark sunglasses and kept staring of course

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........ so, tell us more about this lady
Let's just say that if i was single and a man i would have probably asked her to marry me
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  #169  
Old 10.09.2013, 13:48
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Re: Swiss Stare

[QUOTE=Ace1;1971809]What's normally meant by staring is continuing to look at someone for a long time, or over and over again. For example, if I'm on a train sat opposite an attractive young lady in a short skirt, my eyes may stray to her hemline, and that's surely to be expected

My eyes would have probably been drawn to the upper body mid section. Kind of difficult not to be drawn in.
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  #170  
Old 10.09.2013, 16:09
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Re: Swiss Stare

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For example, if I'm on a train sat opposite an attractive young lady in a short skirt, my eyes may stray to her hemline, and that's surely to be expected; but if they stay there, or continually return to her over a period of time, then that's staring.
Oh well, that is staring then..

I agree it is not polite to do that but, on the other hand I wouldn't be mortified if people would "study" me, as long as they limit themselves to this. When it happens to me and I am not alone I ask my companion whether is something wrong with my hair, do I have food spots on my face or teeth.
Each to their own.
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  #171  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:19
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Re: Swiss Stare

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I think it's rude. I look away, pause, look back. (They're still staring.) I look away, pause, look back. If they're still staring, at this point I say "Staring is very rude, what's your problem?" They bluster. Very very rarely continue to stare but if they do I have something to say about that too.

Sorted.
i did the same once when i was in italy but they continued to stare and stare even worse that i decided not to comment to them.
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  #172  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:21
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Re: Swiss Stare

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it's in the eye of the beholder! specifically, the eye of the perv on the train beholding you. maybe try being less attractive
I know infact that what i tried doing once.. putting less makeup trying to look a bit ugly or as if im nothing special.. it really hurts my self esteem even mroe then
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  #173  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:25
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Re: Swiss Stare

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I would try a different approach, to make it more fun and less serious for you, whilst maintaining control of the situation.

A slow, left to right, lick across your upper lip, followed by a slow teasing bite of the lower lip with a wink and a cheeky grin works wonders. This is particularly effective when the starer is the same sex.

The result is often not just a cease of staring, but a seat relocation and/or next stop departure.
that is a good idea.. but she coudl report me. anyway i dont think id have the courage to do that
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  #174  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:30
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Re: Swiss Stare

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There are three ways I handle it, depending on my mood and the circumstances:

a) stare back until they look away (works best with kids)

or

b) totally ignore

or

c) ostentatiously look in their direction without meeting their eyes, just looking slightly past them (confuses the starer completely since they expect you to stare)

this is histericle..im laughin my tears out
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  #175  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:34
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Re: Swiss Stare

and can you bleieve you just dont want to leave your house in teh morning cos syou know teh min ute you gonna get in that train the stares are going to start..its terrible
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  #176  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:36
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Re: Swiss Stare

this isssue is bothering me so much that ive decided to drive with my car rather than get a train..what do you think?
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  #177  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:49
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Re: Swiss Stare

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What's normally meant by staring is continuing to look at someone for a long time, or over and over again. For example, if I'm on a train sat opposite an attractive young lady in a short skirt, my eyes may stray to her hemline, and that's surely to be expected; but if they stay there, or continually return to her over a period of time, then that's staring.

Of course, it doesn't have to actually have a reason like that (and I use it deliberately to demonstrate an occasion when it would almost certainly make the staree uncomfortable) but the fact of someone's eyes being continually directed in your direction is what's being talked about.

In England it's considered very rude to stare, such that if you are looking at someone and they look in your direction you absolutely must avert your eyes immediately and pretend that you weren't looking at all.

Focussing on an object just over the shoulder of someone, or out of a train window next to them, can be just as intrusive, but as you're clearly not actually looking at them it's not subject by the above rule.


i agree in uk especially wales area if you look at someone they will say
" what the F are you looking at" and ive had that since i was very young up until a months ago when i was in town city centre down there and just passing by a woman with her baby in pram. to be honest she was a bit common.
anyway.. ive sort of become like that too..i feel like saying the same to people when they stare at me..ive become infected
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  #178  
Old 11.09.2013, 09:52
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Re: Swiss Stare

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What's normally meant by staring is continuing to look at someone for a long time, or over and over again. For example, if I'm on a train sat opposite an attractive young lady in a short skirt, my eyes may stray to her hemline, and that's surely to be expected; but if they stay there, or continually return to her over a period of time, then that's staring.

Of course, it doesn't have to actually have a reason like that (and I use it deliberately to demonstrate an occasion when it would almost certainly make the staree uncomfortable) but the fact of someone's eyes being continually directed in your direction is what's being talked about.

In England it's considered very rude to stare, such that if you are looking at someone and they look in your direction you absolutely must avert your eyes immediately and pretend that you weren't looking at all.

Focussing on an object just over the shoulder of someone, or out of a train window next to them, can be just as intrusive, but as you're clearly not actually looking at them it's not subject by the above rule.

bare in mind when i was in london in the tram the people sit facing eachotehr..opposite and i noticed alot of people read newspapers on their phone continusly or some stare back at you..

in wales the buses dont have many chairs that face the other people..they are all behind one another..

i am tryign to get used to sitting in front of people.its very difficult
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  #179  
Old 11.09.2013, 12:19
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Re: Swiss Stare

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bare in mind when i was in london in the tram the people sit facing eachotehr..opposite and i noticed alot of people read newspapers on their phone continusly or some stare back at you..

in wales the buses dont have many chairs that face the other people..they are all behind one another..

i am tryign to get used to sitting in front of people.its very difficult
Try contacting your local GP.

Last edited by MusicChick; 16.06.2014 at 14:23. Reason: fixed quote
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  #180  
Old 11.09.2013, 18:36
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Re: Swiss Stare

Just carry a white stick. Then you can stare at whoever you like.
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