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Old 28.10.2006, 22:06
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Switzerland caused me traumas

Hello I am a Finnish girl and I was in Switzerland near Geneva as an au pair from 1997-1998 and I am still traumatised by the time. The first au pair family yelled at me, and then when I couldn't do what they wanted, they threw me out on the street. Then the parents of the second family treated me like a second-class person; uncivilised - animal - worthless... I am so unhappy of what happened then. I still can't go to Switzerland because of that.

I have relatives in the German-speaking part and they want me to visit them but I don't wanna go there. They can come to Finland to see me if they want, but I am not going back to Switzerland!!! I hate Switzerland so much!!! People are in rude in restaurants, shops and everywhere. Once a guy yelled at me "THIS IS NO PUBLIC TRASH CAN!!" when I threw a piece of garbage into a trash can of a kiosk! If I ever have to go to Switzerland again, I will keep my fist ready to hit anyone who will be rude with me!!!! I really want to send a couple of letter bombs to the au pair families that caused me traumas that I still haven't overcome!

I wish I could find a peace of mind, but I can't
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Old 28.10.2006, 23:30
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Dear Dragon, have you tried therapy? to be so scarred and vindictive about spending time in a country sort of rings bells with me.
Did you come to Switzerland to escape an unhappy relationship?
Did you come to Switzerland in the hope that being in another country would help you?
Did you come to Switzerland because you had nowhere else to go?
Be honest now, if you have relatives here, will you snub them because of your trauma or because you cant be arsed?
Wouldn't you like to come back as a fully formed person and laugh at what used to demoralise you.
At the end of the day no forum can back up your demons and safely say,"yes poor abused one stay at home"
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Old 28.10.2006, 23:36
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

I think there are many things troubling you. I dont think we can help as much as, say, seeing someone face-to-face to talk about it.

I'm assuming you were quite young when you were here? Can you cast it into memory and into the past?
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Old 29.10.2006, 00:11
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

All my years living outside my home country taught me a thing that the world outside is not all necessarily glitters but having said that I deeply believe that the experiences we have are greatly dependent on our own personal attitude.
People can have great experiences here or anywhere else and they can have shitty times as well. It depends on them and to some extent on their luck. I do agree that people here a bit uptight but surely there are great things here to compensate for that.
I actually know a finish au pair who is working in a lavish family down by the lake, she loves it and appreciates the fact that she is being treated as a family member (while dining etc.) as opposed to the cleaning lady or the gardener of the house.
I think as someone else suggested that you should get over the sore experience you had and give Switzerland one more go. (If u get an opportunity). After all life is about trying things, people, jobs etc. etc till you discover a state which you are comfortable in
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Old 29.10.2006, 02:28
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Hi Dragon,

I find your post interesting as it offers a frank perspective to the whole living and working abroad phenomenon. Undoubtedly you have had some very negative experiences, however, the worse thing you can do from a psychological perspective is to avoid returning back over to Switzerland.

There are many great things about the country, and many kind, sweet people live here, not everyone is going to give you a hard time. Concentrate on finding those and hopefully you will be able to realise you had bad but isolated events that should not prevent you from enjoying spending time with your relatives or prevent you enjoying a very beautiful part of the world.

Searching for the positive will help you put some closure on the bad things and help you move on and not be so affected by something that happened a while ago.
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Old 29.10.2006, 07:28
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
Hello I am a Finnish girl and I was in Switzerland near Geneva as an au pair from 1997-1998 and I am still traumatised by the time. The first au pair family yelled at me, and then when I couldn't do what they wanted, they threw me out on the street. Then the parents of the second family treated me like a second-class person; uncivilised - animal - worthless... I am so unhappy of what happened then. I still can't go to Switzerland because of that.

I have relatives in the German-speaking part and they want me to visit them but I don't wanna go there. They can come to Finland to see me if they want, but I am not going back to Switzerland!!! I hate Switzerland so much!!! People are in rude in restaurants, shops and everywhere. Once a guy yelled at me "THIS IS NO PUBLIC TRASH CAN!!" when I threw a piece of garbage into a trash can of a kiosk! If I ever have to go to Switzerland again, I will keep my fist ready to hit anyone who will be rude with me!!!! I really want to send a couple of letter bombs to the au pair families that caused me traumas that I still haven't overcome!

I wish I could find a peace of mind, but I can't

Well I lived in Finland for 1 year and I dont happen to be White skinned... from the Viking line, Trains, Bus, Pubs and even the S-Market I have had Finnish people say not many nice things to me I dont speak Finnish BUT smart enough to understand that what was said was not nice Finnish people that you live next to in an apartment block normally dont even say hello to each other therefore complete strangers in a S-Market having a go at you is my experiemce of making someone welcome.

This is the only country that I real saw and felt first hand what Racism is...even had a Nazi have a go at me in a restaurant in a place called Hyvinkaa....and same experience in Helsinki too.

Therefore... people in Switzerland are no angles and there are good and bad you probably met the bad ones as I did in Finland.

However from my perspective the last place on earth that I will go and live is Finland its just too Frozen irrespective of weather and people generally very very cold (reserved some call them) and as mentioned above the experiences that I have had...
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Old 29.10.2006, 08:03
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
However from my perspective the last place on earth that I will go and live is Finland its just too Frozen irrespective of weather and people generally very very cold (reserved some call them) and as mentioned above the experiences that I have had...
Well to try and lighten up what might turn into the old "my country is better than your country" argument....

Despite being cold, Finland does have the world's best education system and at the same time the highest consumption of alcohol per head (all types of alcohol combined). They also do pretty well when it comes to inventing and advancing things like the mobile phone. But I'm not so sure they are that good at telling jokes.

And Switzerland has (arguably) the best chocolate, and recycles the most glass in the world (as the posters tell us).

"My dad's better than your dad"
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Old 29.10.2006, 08:15
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
Well to try and lighten up what might turn into the old "my country is better than your country" argument....

Despite being cold, Finland does have the world's best education system and at the same time the highest consumption of alcohol per head (all types of alcohol combined). They also do pretty well when it comes to inventing and advancing things like the mobile phone. But I'm not so sure they are that good at telling jokes.

And Switzerland has (arguably) the best chocolate, and recycles the most glass in the world (as the posters tell us).

"My dad's better than your dad"
You are right.. didnt want to start my country is better than yours thread or dishing anyone.

Well just wanted to point out that no one is perfect and when you point 1 finger at someone realize that three fingers oun your own hand point back to you...
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Old 29.10.2006, 13:12
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:

And Switzerland has (arguably) the best chocolate, and recycles the most glass in the world (as the posters tell us).
sory, still laughing.. thanks Mark , made my day..
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Old 29.10.2006, 13:32
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

You shouldn't get traumatized forever just because some people yelled at you and treated you badly. The first job I had here in Switzerland, my bosses were the same, they were always yelling, insulting, and tearing us into pieces. In fact, I was traumatized. Honestly, until now I cannot give a presentation in front of people without having a nagging fear that someone will stand up and shout that what I am saying is total bullshit. But I am fighting my fears. I found another position, my bosses are perfectly fine (and Swiss) and now I am regaining my self-confidence. I guess now I am even more confident. Hell, if I survived that experience, I can survive anything!
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Old 30.10.2006, 02:06
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
Well I lived in Finland for 1 year and I dont happen to be White skinned... from the Viking line, Trains, Bus, Pubs and even the S-Market I have had Finnish people say not many nice things to me I dont speak Finnish BUT smart enough to understand that what was said was not nice Finnish people that you live next to in an apartment block normally dont even say hello to each other therefore complete strangers in a S-Market having a go at you is my experiemce of making someone welcome.

This is the only country that I real saw and felt first hand what Racism is...even had a Nazi have a go at me in a restaurant in a place called Hyvinkaa....and same experience in Helsinki too.

Therefore... people in Switzerland are no angles and there are good and bad you probably met the bad ones as I did in Finland.

However from my perspective the last place on earth that I will go and live is Finland its just too Frozen irrespective of weather and people generally very very cold (reserved some call them) and as mentioned above the experiences that I have had...
I don't like it here either. This is the second shittiest country to me
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Old 30.10.2006, 02:07
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

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Hey Dragon, May I say if you should decide to snub the whole of french switzerland ( as even some swiss would say - fair enough ) .. just dont lump it together with German Switzerland. Its totally different. Not only the language. Zurich has a much different vibe to Geneva - in my opinion much friendlier and happening. You should get over the Aupair trauma and come and see your relatives in German switzerland - you will probably be pleasantly surprised.
Well I don't know. My family and I got treated like shit in Zug in the beginning of hte 1990's...
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Old 30.10.2006, 02:10
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
I think there are many things troubling you. I dont think we can help as much as, say, seeing someone face-to-face to talk about it.

I'm assuming you were quite young when you were here? Can you cast it into memory and into the past?
I was 20 when I was there. Yes, I should put that thing into the past. I am glad that you guys tell me your opinions too I think that gets me closer to feeling better
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Old 30.10.2006, 10:02
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Guess why there are folks in this country who only dream about settling in Scandinavia.

Jean




Quote:
Hello I am a Finnish girl and I was in Switzerland near Geneva as an au pair from 1997-1998 and I am still traumatised by the time. The first au pair family yelled at me, and then when I couldn't do what they wanted, they threw me out on the street. Then the parents of the second family treated me like a second-class person; uncivilised - animal - worthless... I am so unhappy of what happened then. I still can't go to Switzerland because of that.

I have relatives in the German-speaking part and they want me to visit them but I don't wanna go there. They can come to Finland to see me if they want, but I am not going back to Switzerland!!! I hate Switzerland so much!!! People are in rude in restaurants, shops and everywhere. Once a guy yelled at me "THIS IS NO PUBLIC TRASH CAN!!" when I threw a piece of garbage into a trash can of a kiosk! If I ever have to go to Switzerland again, I will keep my fist ready to hit anyone who will be rude with me!!!! I really want to send a couple of letter bombs to the au pair families that caused me traumas that I still haven't overcome!

I wish I could find a peace of mind, but I can't
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Old 30.10.2006, 10:11
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Quote:
I don't like it here either. This is the second shittiest country to me
sounds like the world is against you.

Do you know why Finland is so bad for you too? Are there things that you can do to make it better?

If things are so bad - look on the bright side....they can only get better. That's how I looked in my lowest moment many years ago - and I was right.

Carpe Diem And no, I don't mean our Diem!!
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Old 30.10.2006, 15:21
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Heya

as the old saying goes " if you fall of the horse get straight back up on it"

I dont mean go and get another au pair job but maybe try coming to switzerland just for a day or two to visit your family - there is absolutly no point in letting one bad experience here spoil the joys of such a beautiful country!!

I work currently as an au pair and I have found it to be one of the most rewarding experiences!! The family I work for are fantastic - I dont think I could have asked for a better family!!

An idea for you - if you do decide to come to Switzerland again as far as I am concerned and I am 100% sure I speak for the family here , there would be no issues for you to come and visit to see how it should be for an au pair!!

Dont let your "demons" beat you !!

Enjoy
kt
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Old 01.11.2006, 09:37
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Since Ive been in Switzerland... one year....Ive been lied to,cheated out of money,embezzelled,frauded,hoodwinked, thrown out of my own brothers home, (hes married to swiss women btw totally mad and now hes mad and swiss ive seen what 25 years of living here has done to him after all we english are supposed to be known for our sense of humour.....he has none and is now more pious than the pope and actually doesnt like the english duh]trudged the streets looking for a hotel ,lived out of my car,had to learn the language,treated like shit from lowbie swiss ,home sick for my wife and 2 kids,all alone, did not speak to anyone for 5 days well apart from small talk.....no telly no furniture one chair and a mattress to sleep on which i bought from ikea.......a kettle....tea bags..etc do i love Switzerland ...?..............yeah ofc
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Old 01.11.2006, 10:54
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Hi Dragon. I sympathise with you regarding your experiences as an au pair. When you take that sort of role you are at the mercy of your employers to a large extent and some people can take advantage of that.

However, I agree with the majority here, a few assholes do not represent a whole country. I currently live in a rented apartment and my Swiss landlord is a darling. He's the only real Swissy I know, so I won't judge the country from him alone either.

What you should remember is that, if you come back here to visit you will not be working for some sub-Nazi who abuses you, just travelling, having fun and seeing a beautiful country (where the Swiss haven't put either grey concrete or brightly coloured steel). It's worth a chance.

One of my friends is a Philippina who was hired as a tutor for some Italian kids in Dubai a few years back. When she arrived the father of the kids took away her passport, her money and her shoes, so she couldn't leave the house. (You can't walk far barefoot in summer in Dubai). He wouldn't give her a key to her room, so the kids used to go in and steal and destroy her stuff. Eventually the kids and momma went on holiday for 6 weeks and the man raped her. She ran away in the night and ended up at our house. We helped her with the police and a hospital and she got her passport back, but had lost her sponsorship and had to return to Manila.

About 18 months later she returned to the Emirates as a teacher and is now happy living in a nice apartment in Abu Dhabi. When she left the UAE the first time she swore never to return, but now she loves her life there and never wants to leave.

The situation is incredibly important. If your situation here is OK you will enjoy it here.
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Old 06.11.2006, 01:25
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Thank you for your answers, everyone. It was nice to know about your experiences and stories.
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Old 06.11.2006, 22:56
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Re: Switzerland caused me traumas

Hi Dragon
Start writing a new chapter... a happy ending. So visit Switzerland on a new light, it has so much too offer especially if you like outdoor activities and fantastic chocolates. Every place in the world has its dark sides, but don't let negative experiences get to you.
I had a very bad experience during my first year in Switzerland as I had to work as an intern in order to complete my studies in a small family hotel. At first this Swiss family seemed very friendly and open minded. But they were completely Jekyll and Hyde. They also had a fat witch working as a manager of the place which completed the horror show.
As my German at the time was broken and still is, they showed no little sympathy towards me. I did my best to improve my German knowledge but they insisted in speaking Swiss German and used to shout to make my time a miserable one at that hotel. Interns are cheap labor... so let them think like that. I left the place with a horrible feeling and lost my motivation to learn the language... Threw away the books.
Now I thank them for being rude because I made my way to other countries, worked at great properties, had fantastic experiences and I know that I will not repeat that type hospitality to any colleague / guest of mine. And I am learning German again!
Let's wait for your new thread!
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