View Poll Results: How long did it take you to make friends here? |
Less than a year
|    | 63 | 43.75% |
1 - 2 years
|    | 23 | 15.97% |
3 - 5 years
|    | 12 | 8.33% |
5 - 7 years
|    | 1 | 0.69% |
Over 7 years
|    | 6 | 4.17% |
Still haven't made any friends (specify how long you've lived here)
|    | 39 | 27.08% |  | | | 
10.11.2014, 14:42
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Luzern
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | I feel that I am only hindered by my language barrier. The Swiss seem more reserved than English and less likely for random people to chat much with someone standing near them who is alone; and I cannot really initiate as my German is so basic. Once my German is at conversational level, I will be happy to initiate and I am sure my social circle will boom, as I am quite likeable!
I've been here 5 months and making friends is still work in progress; but I don't have any concerns and am confident that a year from now I shall have more of a local social circle  | | | | | How about learning German with a language tandem? http://sprach-tandem.ch/en/home | 
10.11.2014, 15:28
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Luzern
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | Interesting thread.
Being a trailing spouse is harder than one that is working with people daily so opportunities are much different. We lived in Germany from 07-09 and we made a few friends there that were German but they were all colleagues of my working spouse. I didn't speak the language and we had no intention of staying in Germany that long but after the banks crashed in 08, we ended up staying another year before we were able to find other employment.
I plan to take language lessons this time and hopefully, that will bring opportunities to meet people and my spouse who is fluent in German, can help me with that. We have a couple of friends that we will see from Germany soon and that's a relief.
Making friends later in life is harder no matter where you live. If you don't have children (like us and can't have any at this stage in life) there are less ways to meet people with common lifestyles. Singles have a way of finding friends by going to clubs etc. Middle aged folks like us have different lifestyles. I look forward to finding ways to meet people no matter their background. This thread helped me think of new ways. | | | | | Hi LittleGirl, I understand you very well. Have you tried meet up groups yet? http://www.meetup.com/cities/ch/zürich/
As for the language there is a great opportunity for language exchange at http://sprach-tandem.ch/en/home. A lot of people are looking for English as exchange language. It shouldn't be too difficult to find someone who helps you with German. Maybe it depends on where you live. Wish you all the best.
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10.11.2014, 15:32
| Senior Member | | Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Basel
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
it didn't take long because I have no Swiss friends and no expat friends.
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28.12.2014, 07:28
| Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Uster
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
In my experience, it also depends on which area you live. One place took me a year to make 4 'friends' and another took me only a month. Keep trying!
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28.12.2014, 10:18
| Newbie | | Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Geneva
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Hi there,
IMO it depends on when you consider someone as a "friend". It is indeed kinda hard to find a close friend here, if you've just arrived here. From my observations, people here tend to split up as they grow older, as life goes on (eg. going to different universities, work pressure, different interests, need to invest time in a relationship/family...). I personally only have four or five really close friends here; we met at like five years old, and all grew up together.
I don't know whether you're a worker, a student or whatsoever, but I can assure you that students here are really open-minded, and you should not have any problem to befriend with them. Again, the trick here is the definition of "friend". It isn't difficult at all to gather with students and have a bier within a week.
Of course, it might be a little more complicated if you're not a student, especially if you cannot speak the language of the region in which you're living. In Geneva, we celebrate the "fête des voisins", in Engllish "neighborhood party", check this out, it is a formidable opportunity to find new acquaintances!
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31.01.2015, 01:25
| Junior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Zug
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
my girlfriend has been here for a few years and claims she has quite a few Swiss friends.. based on what she tells me all of them are guys and all of them have at one point or another wanted be more than friends with her (probably still do). As far as she's told me she does not have a single Swiss female friend.
I pretty sure its much easier for foreigner females to make Swiss "friends" than it is guys but then again I guess it depends what those friends want/hope to get from you at the end of the day.
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31.01.2015, 01:41
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | my girlfriend has been here for a few years and claims she has quite a few Swiss friends.. based on what she tells me all of them are guys and all of them have at one point or another wanted be more than friends with her (probably still do). As far as she's told me she does not have a single Swiss female friend.
I pretty sure its much easier for foreigner females to make Swiss "friends" than it is guys but then again I guess it depends what those friends want/hope to get from you at the end of the day. | | | | | Not all Swiss men are lecherous. | This user would like to thank greenmount for this useful post: | | 
31.01.2015, 02:01
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | Not all Swiss men are lecherous.  | | | | | from my very experience thus far Swiss are either friendly or keep to themselves so I will agree with your statement
I have been told by a few people that a good portion Swiss folks like to date foreigners (male or female)
I'm from North America where the majority of people are lecherous | This user would like to thank akowalew for this useful post: | | 
31.01.2015, 08:00
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
I met some people I liked within a short time of being here, but it took a year and a half before I met the (Swiss) person I thought of as a friend within a short while of meeting her. At first I didn't think of many of the people I met early on as friends, because I didn't think we were similar, but the relationships have grown over time and we have shared experiences. Also, I only came for a two-year contract and fully intended to go back to the UK after that, which probably affected how much I invested in these relationships.
Yesterday i had an accident and hit my head. As I live alone, the doctor asked me if I had a friend who I could stay with for the first 24 hours, that I shouldn't be alone. At first I thought, erm… no, as the first person I thought of is away on vacation. But after a few minutes I realised that I know at least 4 people who would have stepped in immediately, and quite a few more who I don't know so well but who I know would help me if I needed it. They're all good people. So I'm very lucky, really. Although I wouldn't necessarily say we shared all the same interests, politics or whatever, in the sense of trust and caring which are what's most important in a friend, I have more than I realised. This is good to know.
On the expat question, I can fully sympathise with those who avoid deep friendships with expats because of the likelihood that they will move on.
Last edited by planetali; 31.01.2015 at 08:03.
Reason: another thought...
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31.01.2015, 11:53
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Hey, planetali, I hope you feel better soon.
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31.01.2015, 13:50
| Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: Kloten, Zurrich
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
I think the Swiss themselves find it hard to make friends with other Swiss.
If you're an foreigner wondering what you're doing wrong, don't feel disapointed, I think it just takes a little bit of more time to make friends not only with Swiss people.
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01.02.2015, 10:31
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Thanks doropfiz, I should have said, I'm bruised and battered but otherwise fine :-)
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01.02.2015, 11:38
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | from my very experience thus far Swiss are either friendly or keep to themselves so I will agree with your statement I have been told by a few people that a good portion Swiss folks like to date foreigners (male or female)
I'm from North America where the majority of people are lecherous  | | | | | And there's also a good portion of Swiss folks who'd never date a foreigner.
Same where I come from, same everywhere else I have lived prior to moving here.
But I think it's easier for girls.
Anyhow, thinking more of it, as it seems to be a recurrent theme not only on EF, but also in conversations among foreigners....why is so important if your friends/partners are Swiss? Is it something people need to brag about? Don't understand this.
Last edited by greenmount; 01.02.2015 at 11:56.
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01.02.2015, 12:29
|  | Moderately Amused | | Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Bern area
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | And there's also a good portion of Swiss folks who'd never date a foreigner... | | | | | Still a decent number of Swiss folks that do date and even marry foreigners. According to binational.ch (marriage stats in Switzerland from 2007):
Swiss female marries non-Swiss male: 20.8 %
Swiss male marries non-Swiss female: 22.4 %
This seems at odds with the idea it's hard to make friends in Switzerland.
I wonder though - how many of those marriages were from Swiss who met their foreign spouses here in CH. Anecdotally most of the Swiss I know that are with non-Swiss met their spouses while studying or working abroad.
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01.02.2015, 13:32
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | |
Anyhow, thinking more of it, as it seems to be a recurrent theme not only on EF, but also in conversations among foreigners....why is so important if your friends/partners are Swiss? Is it something people need to brag about? Don't understand this.
| | | | | Pure conjecture here, but:
We are told over and over again (in the media, including here on EF) that we must integrate, become part of local society - and having local friends in the Swiss 'per DU' sense seems to be one of the arbitrary proofs of such integration. It's not enough to speak the language, do your job well, pay your taxes, be a considerate neighbor, follow the rules, keep your nose clean - no, in order to be a good foreigner one must join the Whateververein, one must be on 'per Du' terms with a sufficient quota of local folks.
(Remember the professor who was denied citizenship? Lack of local friends was given as one of his failings.)
At some point we start to internalize this idea, to believe that without local friends we are 'bad' Auslanders, stuck in the stereotypic expat bubble. Integration fail. And so making local friends becomes something of the holy grail of successful integration.
Just a guess. I could be dead wrong. | The following 3 users would like to thank meloncollie for this useful post: | | 
01.02.2015, 14:01
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: ZH
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | .... in order to be a good foreigner...
| | | | |
Oh, that's an aspect I hadn't thought of quite like that, before. Interesting.
For myself, I'd taken the drumming in of "get to know some Swiss people" and "learn the language", both of which I've been told a zillion times and which now I, too, gererally preach... not so much as the hurdle to take in order to count as a "good" foreigner, but more like ways to become a "happy" foreigner.
And, after a while, those aspects have helped me to feel much, much less foreign altogether. I'm at home here, now, and am glad to be able to feel that way.
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09.02.2015, 17:25
| Junior Member | | Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Luzern
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here? | Quote: | |  | | | How long did it take you to make friends with foreigners in your home country?
I don't think it will be any different here. | | | | | Spot on- I am German and I lived in the UK for 8 years. Even though I am fluent in English and have an English partner, I found it difficult to make friends with the locals.
I realised that it was nothing personal- just the fact that local people generally already have their friendships and are not waiting for an expat to turn up | The following 3 users would like to thank Bussibaer for this useful post: | | 
09.02.2015, 18:45
| Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Zurich
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Making friends with the neighbours is a good start. Hard to do that if you live in areas full of expats though, i.e., Seefeld.
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09.02.2015, 19:28
| Junior Member | | Join Date: May 2012 Location: zugish
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Here 2 years and no friends and dont want any either!
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17.02.2015, 20:57
| Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Zurich, Switzerland
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| | Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?
I met most of my new friends through meet up sport events, and yes even Swiss friends!
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