Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Complaints corner
View Poll Results: How long did it take you to make friends here?
Less than a year 63 43.75%
1 - 2 years 23 15.97%
3 - 5 years 12 8.33%
5 - 7 years 1 0.69%
Over 7 years 6 4.17%
Still haven't made any friends (specify how long you've lived here) 39 27.08%
Voters: 144. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 17.02.2015, 21:01
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Zug
Posts: 19
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
zug2015 has no particular reputation at present
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

It depends on what type of Swiss you meet. some of them more open then others. Of course language is a major problem. They may not express themselves well in English.
Reply With Quote
  #102  
Old 21.02.2015, 17:35
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Wallisellen
Posts: 16
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts
Aussie1 has earned some respectAussie1 has earned some respect
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

You need some common point of contact - I worked for a Swiss family as a nanny and now we are still friends. We also have a very friendly neighbour so we have had lots of social contact with her. Speaking some of the local language makes a big difference. It shows you are trying to fit in. And joining in with some local activity helps - I joined the local first aid group (Samariter Verein). I think it takes years before people become "real" friends no matter where you are.
Reply With Quote
  #103  
Old 21.02.2015, 18:42
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Geneva
Posts: 2,872
Groaned at 30 Times in 25 Posts
Thanked 3,306 Times in 1,277 Posts
McTAVGE has a reputation beyond reputeMcTAVGE has a reputation beyond reputeMcTAVGE has a reputation beyond reputeMcTAVGE has a reputation beyond reputeMcTAVGE has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

We have been in our village for almost 5 years now. Whenever there is a village fête or other, lots of people come to greet us, ask how we are etc...but when it comes to sharing a table, only a handful will offer...another 5 years I guess and we'll be on "tu" terms!
Most have known each other since childhood, unavoidably there are cliques and as a foreigner, you're not part of any.
Reply With Quote
  #104  
Old 21.02.2015, 22:00
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: zurich
Posts: 2
Groaned at 5 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
f283 has become a little unpopularf283 has become a little unpopular
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

all my friends are expats, in my opinion don't even both with swiss people. mostly cold and unfriendly.

of course there are exceptions. but knowing more international people is more fun. go for that crowd.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users groan at f283 for this post:
  #105  
Old 21.02.2015, 23:12
IzabelaInZug's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 731
Groaned at 63 Times in 37 Posts
Thanked 485 Times in 257 Posts
IzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeableIzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeableIzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeable
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

How long did it take you to make friends here?
Hmmmm..... Forever?
Reply With Quote
  #106  
Old 21.02.2015, 23:27
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 1,981
Groaned at 68 Times in 51 Posts
Thanked 5,049 Times in 1,795 Posts
crazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

when you join a Swiss sports club that revolves around a sport you love dearly and have played for your entire life, and then realize how many Swiss men have joined the same club despite knowing next to nothing about the sport because they want to meet people...

...you'll probably also realize that difficulty in making friends is not a complaint that is exclusive to expats.

Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank crazygringo for this useful post:
  #107  
Old 22.02.2015, 15:08
Phos's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: ZRH
Posts: 7,398
Groaned at 544 Times in 418 Posts
Thanked 10,130 Times in 5,411 Posts
Phos has a reputation beyond reputePhos has a reputation beyond reputePhos has a reputation beyond reputePhos has a reputation beyond reputePhos has a reputation beyond reputePhos has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
How long did it take you to make friends here?
Hmmmm..... Forever?
You? No way. I'll give you a friend coupon.
Reply With Quote
  #108  
Old 19.03.2015, 11:25
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Zurich
Posts: 39
Groaned at 11 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 15 Times in 8 Posts
beansontoast has earned some respectbeansontoast has earned some respect
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I moved to Zurich in JAN with my partner and we've had two very different experiences.

For me, it's been relatively easy and I guess that's down to having a job, not looking for a "bestie" and the fact I can enjoy a drink with pretty much anybody. Without sounding ungrateful, I'm already at the point where I have to turn down drinks, dinners, coffees et al.

For my partner, she's struggled and I feel the blame is split 50/50 on her and the environment. I guess you have to speculate to accumulate, which means you need to get off your backside, meet new people and then sometimes accept you didn't back a winner. I do sympthize with her however, as I see the environment to be cold, reserved and/or just plain boring!

A friend recently pointed how Zurich completely changes when the sun comes out - it's like "rent-a-crowd" - and I guess this will have a huge impact on the social front, so I'll circle back later in the year and I'm sure all issues will have sorted themselves out....fingers crossed
Reply With Quote
  #109  
Old 24.03.2015, 00:36
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Aargau
Posts: 12
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 7 Times in 3 Posts
Applecrumble has become a little unpopularApplecrumble has become a little unpopular
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
I'm swiss. I made two very good expat friends, with whom I became very close.

Then they left the country. As most expats end up doing sooner than later. And I lost my friends.

I now avoid getting too close to expats, to protect myself.
Why are Swiss on here?????? You should pay foe English school and not use ENGLISH FORUM 😡
Reply With Quote
This user groans at Applecrumble for this post:
  #110  
Old 14.03.2018, 00:15
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Nyon
Posts: 21
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
SwissMissSteph has no particular reputation at present
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

I was born in Switzerland and lived 23 in USA... I stayed in contact with some old friends who act like total strangers......... so now I'm back to square one.. have been back since July 2017. It doesn't help that we are in one of the tiniest mountain villages.. so if anyone is in the Gland area.. feel free to pm me.
Reply With Quote
  #111  
Old 14.03.2018, 09:04
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Rüebliland
Posts: 33
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 19 Times in 12 Posts
Happy but Knackered has no particular reputation at present
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

It helps very much, if you join a 'Club'. Any. Or activities provided by the local Gemeinde. A leaflet of what is available is sent out every term. Even if you don't speak the local language. If you have things in common, anybody is more than willing to 'chat and discuss' the mutual interest.
If you are open and friendly, it should not take you that long. Sometimes, the local are a bit tired of making 'friends' and only to lose them in a few years. The process repeating itself is not very encouraging either.
Give them a chance.
Reply With Quote
  #112  
Old 14.03.2018, 10:16
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 22,875
Groaned at 1,217 Times in 954 Posts
Thanked 25,990 Times in 12,440 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
It helps very much, if you join a 'Club'. Any.
Not much in the way of clubs around here.

Tom
Reply With Quote
  #113  
Old 14.03.2018, 10:21
TobiasM's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,125
Groaned at 147 Times in 104 Posts
Thanked 2,124 Times in 991 Posts
TobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
Not much in the way of clubs around here.

Tom
What, not even one where you plant pampas grass in your front lawn and attend parties where you leave your car keys in a bowl by the door?
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank TobiasM for this useful post:
  #114  
Old 15.04.2018, 11:34
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 7 Times in 3 Posts
hundra has no particular reputation at present
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Have met a few nice Swiss people we now consider out friends. The path to get to know locals has for our end been hobby communities (playing board games). People are more open and at least in the board game community pretty good at English. There weren't necessarily that inclusive from the start but we wore them down . But to sum up, the best way to meet and befriend poeple is often through an interest, community or sport or similar.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank hundra for this useful post:
  #115  
Old 15.04.2018, 12:52
ozibird's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Germany
Posts: 157
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 33 Times in 23 Posts
ozibird has made some interesting contributions
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Question your own motives and commitment capacity first. When we left our home country, I lost a friend of 20 years from school, and we were Godparents to her boy and very 'bestie-close' friends. Even though in the first year away I wrote emails and newsletters, soon after we received a 2 line email saying that we were no longer Godparents due to the distance and they did not want to see us when we returned for holidays every other year. People usually like stability.
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 15.04.2018, 13:40
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Renens
Posts: 113
Groaned at 11 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 63 Times in 26 Posts
Leszek has made some interesting contributions
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Whilst the pool is politically neutral looking at the discussion made me laugh. Why do so many people have the obsession of having a Swiss pet (friend)? Friendship is beyond nationality, race, age.... This is funny as in the developed areas the Swiss nationals are the minority so they must feel terrible about all the bloody foreigners hunting for them "Oh, you're Swiss, so cute, I'd like you to be my friend

Go out, hang with likeminded people and be happy
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Leszek for this useful post:
  #117  
Old 15.04.2018, 15:12
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Nyon
Posts: 21
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
SwissMissSteph has no particular reputation at present
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Hundra - thanks.. we actually joined a wonderful group .... just this week so all is good.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank SwissMissSteph for this useful post:
  #118  
Old 15.04.2018, 15:23
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ZH
Posts: 2,859
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 4,071 Times in 1,647 Posts
doropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
Question your own motives and commitment capacity first. When we left our home country, I lost a friend of 20 years from school, and we were Godparents to her boy and very 'bestie-close' friends. Even though in the first year away I wrote emails and newsletters, soon after we received a 2 line email saying that we were no longer Godparents due to the distance and they did not want to see us when we returned for holidays every other year. People usually like stability.
Wow, that must have hurt!

Being a Godparent means different things to different people, and if they had in mind the type who could pop by twice a week to babysit or help with homework and who have the child over for a whole day's outing now and again, then yes, I can kinda understand the idea about their chosing other Godparents.

However, being told not even to visit them as friends, and that after you'd been close for 20 years... with the reason being merely that you moved away.... I can imagine that that would have stung. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 15.04.2018, 16:29
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 11,464
Groaned at 125 Times in 101 Posts
Thanked 13,700 Times in 6,816 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
Question your own motives and commitment capacity first. When we left our home country, I lost a friend of 20 years from school, and we were Godparents to her boy and very 'bestie-close' friends. Even though in the first year away I wrote emails and newsletters, soon after we received a 2 line email saying that we were no longer Godparents due to the distance and they did not want to see us when we returned for holidays every other year. People usually like stability.
Yikes.

Pragmatic till the distance parts us, huh? How unimaginative. Coming from a culture where godparenting does not exist, I would have loved to have god-people come once every two years, bring me presents and send me cool letters and postcards! Some people....

Last edited by MusicChick; 15.04.2018 at 16:40.
Reply With Quote
  #120  
Old 15.04.2018, 16:36
curley's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: canton ZH
Posts: 6,209
Groaned at 68 Times in 63 Posts
Thanked 6,457 Times in 3,473 Posts
curley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond repute
Re: How long did it take you to make friends here?

Quote:
View Post
Question your own motives and commitment capacity first. When we left our home country, I lost a friend of 20 years from school, and we were Godparents to her boy and very 'bestie-close' friends. Even though in the first year away I wrote emails and newsletters, soon after we received a 2 line email saying that we were no longer Godparents due to the distance and they did not want to see us when we returned for holidays every other year. People usually like stability.
Quote:
View Post
Wow, that must have hurt!
Exactly my reaction.
Sorry ozibird. I know it sounds too simple but seems you didn't lose too much there. Still, it must have been painful.

Distance never changed my - close - friendships - even before the handy, the internet, whatsapp (although those things made it easier - fax was the grooviest thing then ) Sounds like the 18th century but was only about 2 decades ago.

Quote:
View Post
Whilst the pool is politically neutral looking at the discussion made me laugh. Why do so many people have the obsession of having a Swiss pet (friend)? Friendship is beyond nationality, race, age.... This is funny as in the developed areas the Swiss nationals are the minority so they must feel terrible about all the bloody foreigners hunting for them "Oh, you're Swiss, so cute, I'd like you to be my friend

Go out, hang with likeminded people and be happy


<< Oh, you're Swiss, so cute, I'd like you to be my friend>> you know that actually happens? Not here though, abroad. The weirdest thing
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How long did it take you to learn German? Pixie B Language corner 141 24.03.2017 11:54
How long did it take you to adapt from High German to Swiss German? Rach_UK Language corner 74 15.05.2014 21:12
How long did it take to rent a place? Roam Housing in general 26 07.01.2012 09:18
How long did it take to get a permit telandy Permits/visas/government 19 16.02.2011 14:47
How long did it take you to get used to swiss lifestyle? mazule Daily life 35 19.06.2010 14:46


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 22:28.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0