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  #961  
Old 16.12.2016, 09:33
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

I think OP has some good sense of humour though..
Not many russian has that ..
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  #962  
Old 16.12.2016, 10:01
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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What is the answer: what advice can we give unhappy people?
This is not about being unhappy. It's about wallowing in self-pity and blaming everyone but themselves for their perceived misery. I know some people thoroughly enjoy hearing themselves complain constantly, but sadly, complaining without taking responsibility for their own choices has never gotten anyone anywhere.
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  #963  
Old 16.12.2016, 12:17
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

Switzerland is going to be a culture shock to anyone who comes from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open - which is most of them. This is because Swiss culture evolved from a society that is dispersed in, often, small villages where everyone knows everyone else, where getting on the bad side of someone (especially a member of the family that owns the local big business) is social suicide and so if you have nothing good to say, you say nothing.

Basically, the Swiss are classic passive aggressives. You may spontaneously befriend one, but if you do it'll be a temporary affair that began in a bar. Drunk. If you didn't grow up with them, go to the same school, college or whatever, you'll at best be on their social peripheries.

A bit like the Irish, I always thought. Easy enough to befriend an Irishman or Swiss over a few beers (if they are drinking), but doesn't really stick. Indeed, the Swiss are a bit like Irishmen with Asperger's syndrome - which also means that they are not as good at faking sociability.

If you come from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open, then you are going to be more used to making friends faster. People cut through the BS and decide if they like each other or not. The downside is that is that the friendships tend to be more shallow. That's not a a criticism per say, you're not going to loan a chunk of money to someone who's only been your friend three months and you've perhaps know four. A Swiss is more likely to do that but only because they probably only became friends after two years or more of knowing each other.

It's a different paradigm. If you don't like it, then a culture where people are naturally more open and direct and, typically, superficial, is probably best for you. Whatever makes you happy.
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  #964  
Old 16.12.2016, 13:24
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Switzerland is going to be a culture shock to anyone who comes from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open - which is most of them. This is because Swiss culture evolved from a society that is dispersed in, often, small villages where everyone knows everyone else, where getting on the bad side of someone (especially a member of the family that owns the local big business) is social suicide and so if you have nothing good to say, you say nothing.

Basically, the Swiss are classic passive aggressives. You may spontaneously befriend one, but if you do it'll be a temporary affair that began in a bar. Drunk. If you didn't grow up with them, go to the same school, college or whatever, you'll at best be on their social peripheries.

A bit like the Irish, I always thought. Easy enough to befriend an Irishman or Swiss over a few beers (if they are drinking), but doesn't really stick. Indeed, the Swiss are a bit like Irishmen with Asperger's syndrome - which also means that they are not as good at faking sociability.

If you come from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open, then you are going to be more used to making friends faster. People cut through the BS and decide if they like each other or not. The downside is that is that the friendships tend to be more shallow. That's not a a criticism per say, you're not going to loan a chunk of money to someone who's only been your friend three months and you've perhaps know four. A Swiss is more likely to do that but only because they probably only became friends after two years or more of knowing each other.

It's a different paradigm. If you don't like it, then a culture where people are naturally more open and direct and, typically, superficial, is probably best for you. Whatever makes you happy.
"where getting on the bad side of someone is social suicide" Don't agree, like everywhere else there are factions so getting on the bad side of someone in one group does you no harm in another group!
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  #965  
Old 16.12.2016, 14:33
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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I think OP has some good sense of humour though..
Not many russian has that ..
Yes, and this thread looks like this

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  #966  
Old 16.12.2016, 14:43
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Switzerland is going to be a culture shock to anyone who comes from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open - which is most of them. This is because Swiss culture evolved from a society that is dispersed in, often, small villages where everyone knows everyone else, where getting on the bad side of someone (especially a member of the family that owns the local big business) is social suicide and so if you have nothing good to say, you say nothing.

Basically, the Swiss are classic passive aggressives. You may spontaneously befriend one, but if you do it'll be a temporary affair that began in a bar. Drunk. If you didn't grow up with them, go to the same school, college or whatever, you'll at best be on their social peripheries.

A bit like the Irish, I always thought. Easy enough to befriend an Irishman or Swiss over a few beers (if they are drinking), but doesn't really stick. Indeed, the Swiss are a bit like Irishmen with Asperger's syndrome - which also means that they are not as good at faking sociability.

If you come from a culture which is more gregarious, direct or open, then you are going to be more used to making friends faster. People cut through the BS and decide if they like each other or not. The downside is that is that the friendships tend to be more shallow. That's not a a criticism per say, you're not going to loan a chunk of money to someone who's only been your friend three months and you've perhaps know four. A Swiss is more likely to do that but only because they probably only became friends after two years or more of knowing each other.

It's a different paradigm. If you don't like it, then a culture where people are naturally more open and direct and, typically, superficial, is probably best for you. Whatever makes you happy.
I disagree; we recently moved into a new house in a small village, ~250 people, and everyone has been extremely welcoming and generous. It was obviously already quite a tight-knit community in our quartier, but at no time have we ever felt unwelcome or treated as outsiders.
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  #967  
Old 16.12.2016, 16:16
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Basically, the Swiss are classic passive aggressives. You may spontaneously befriend one, but if you do it'll be a temporary affair that began in a bar. Drunk. If you didn't grow up with them, go to the same school, college or whatever, you'll at best be on their social peripheries.

.
Actually, I "spontaneously" befriended one. Don't know if it's accurate though as she's my neighbour so it was obvious we're gonna see each other quite often.
And no, she doesn't drink! At all.
It's funny, for every generalisation there're always counter-examples we personally know (well..most of us) but we keep saying we can lump a relatively large group of people into one tidy pattern.

Last edited by greenmount; 16.12.2016 at 16:31.
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  #968  
Old 16.12.2016, 16:30
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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"where getting on the bad side of someone is social suicide" Don't agree, like everywhere else there are factions so getting on the bad side of someone in one group does you no harm in another group!
You've never lived in a small community, have you?
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  #969  
Old 16.12.2016, 17:15
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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I disagree; we recently moved into a new house in a small village, ~250 people, and everyone has been extremely welcoming and generous. It was obviously already quite a tight-knit community in our quartier, but at no time have we ever felt unwelcome or treated as outsiders.
Exactly the same for us. We were welcomed very warmly when we moved to this village of around 200 inhabitants. We had children ringing the bell for our son to play on the day after we moved in, a neighbour immediately offered to take our son to school in the mornings along with her own and another child who were all in the same class and yet another neighbour said the were having an apéro on the Friday and they'd be delighted if we could join them and the other inhabitants if the quartier. we have never felt unwelcome or excluded from anything.
When our landlord wanted his house back to live in we moved to our own place in the next street as we like it here so much.
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  #970  
Old 16.12.2016, 19:22
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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1. You look like swiss
No. Slavic, especially if I don't trim my eyebrows.

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2. You look attractive
Swiss women seem to think so, but that may not be saying much.

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3. You come from West/North.
Nope, 3/4 of my ancestors are from the East, and those of my wife either the South or the East.

Still win, though.

Tom
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  #971  
Old 16.12.2016, 20:03
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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No. Slavic, especially if I don't trim my eyebrows.



Swiss women seem to think so, but that may not be saying much.



Nope, 3/4 of my ancestors are from the East, and those of my wife either the South or the East.

Still win, though.

Tom
Men with bushy grey eyebrows - absolute wow factor.
Oh why do men get better with age - not fair. Not fair at all.
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  #972  
Old 16.12.2016, 20:11
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Men with bushy grey eyebrows - absolute wow factor.
Seriously?!


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Oh why do men get better with age - not fair. Not fair at all.
It's not a unfair, it's a necessity, look at George Michael.
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  #973  
Old 16.12.2016, 20:28
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Seriously?!



It's not a unfair, it's a necessity, look at George Michael.
Well, my dating range on that market would have been pretty good if I'd been looking:

Attachment 120970

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  #974  
Old 16.12.2016, 20:37
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Well, my dating range on that market would have been pretty good if I'd been looking:

Attachment 120970
eeeeehhhhm .... that's a moustache not eyebrows go join him/her for that problem.

So that's your type, yes?
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  #975  
Old 16.12.2016, 20:46
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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eeeeehhhhm .... that's a moustache not eyebrows go join him/her for that problem.

So that's your type, yes?
No, the point is that the eyebrows are shaded in this pic. Am assuming that they're the same shade as the moustache, but you never know among the Zürich IT crowd.

For those with the opposite type to me:

Attachment 120971

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  #976  
Old 16.12.2016, 21:19
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Yes, and this thread looks like this

I think this thread has run for longer then the OP has lived in Switzerland and who actually cares what the OP thinks anyway? This is just entertainment now.
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  #977  
Old 16.12.2016, 21:31
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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I think this thread has run for longer then the OP has lived in Switzerland and who actually cares what the OP thinks anyway? This is just entertainment now.
Apologies, I thought that this was now the official thread for ageing partnership looking EFers.
Will re-try the search function.
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  #978  
Old 16.12.2016, 21:33
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

Nah I'm like only 22 lol.
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  #979  
Old 16.12.2016, 21:41
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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Nah I'm like only 22 lol.
I'm not fussy. Gender? And can you play ping-pong?
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Old 16.12.2016, 21:46
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Re: 9 months in Switzerland - a honest report.

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I'm not fussy. Gender? And can you play ping-pong?
cheat - you added
and isn't the main thing his eyebrows?!
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