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  #41  
Old 30.12.2016, 15:14
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Assuming that it's not you that is the problem, perhaps she has a personality disorder? First step would be to define which one it is. Start here, for example:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

If her behaviour does fit into a defined category, you could then start looking for info on how best to deal with that sort of person. Perhaps even schedule an appointment to discuss the problem with a pyschiatrist?
You are joking, right?
Wiki-diagnose a work-colleague who does not act the way you wish her to, then drag her to a shrink or even better, discuss her with the shrink without her knowledge (the shrink will be delighted with your idea) and then what ..... walk in Monday morning and heal her?
If your ideas wern't so freaky they'd be hilarious.
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  #42  
Old 30.12.2016, 23:21
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

The only thing missing is whether or not to engage a lawyer.

And FWIW the OP lacks detail - like in what ways is his life being made hell by this individual?

Cheers,
Nick

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Seems to be the new wave. Up until recently, the standard response was to unleash a Post-it note war then, when they run out, get the police involved.

Ah, the good old days.
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  #43  
Old 31.12.2016, 00:14
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Is she Swiss?

If so, invite her to your next sex party!

Tom
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  #44  
Old 31.12.2016, 09:13
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Send her the link to this thread...from an anyonymous/fake email address.
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  #45  
Old 31.12.2016, 09:32
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Women like that mostly react VERY well when you pay them compliments they - rightly though - never get.

To not coming over as a potential husband, I'd go over the moon about her great and efficient ways to work. Ask her - as being such an intelligent ant smart woman, totally underestimated by her boss - to go back to study and climb up the ladder. Don't overdo, spread the compliments thinly, but evenly.

You can see her potential and as a New Years resolution, you have decided to tell her that she can do much better with her smarts.

Sometimes, those women really just need that. And - as prophecies often do - she might do so much better she's getting promoted and out of your way!

P.S: This is a basic strategy I developed as a kindergarten teacher and it works - with some aforementioned add-ons for adults - like a charm. Only difference is that my students get promoted to 1st grade automatically :-)
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  #46  
Old 31.12.2016, 09:45
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Women like that mostly react VERY well when you pay them compliments they - rightly though - never get.

To not coming over as a potential husband, I'd go over the moon about her great and efficient ways to work. Ask her - as being such an intelligent ant smart woman, totally underestimated by her boss - to go back to study and climb up the ladder. Don't overdo, spread the compliments thinly, but evenly.
Oh, my.

Did you bring popcorn too?
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  #47  
Old 31.12.2016, 09:50
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Oh, my.

Did you bring popcorn too?
No, it really works, doesn't need popcorn. Working at the biggest publisher in Switzerland and leading a team, I used it when needed and it works.

As you do resilience consulting, you should know about resilience tactics - this one is one. I might teach you a thing or two :-)

Even the most tedious good-for-nothing gal quit happily after that treatment. The whole team was delirious!

After half a year she wanted to come back. But... yeah, there was no opening.

Last edited by marischi; 31.12.2016 at 10:05.
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  #48  
Old 31.12.2016, 10:16
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Women like that mostly react VERY well when you pay them compliments they - rightly though - never get.

To not coming over as a potential husband, I'd go over the moon about her great and efficient ways to work. Ask her - as being such an intelligent ant smart woman, totally underestimated by her boss - to go back to study and climb up the ladder. Don't overdo, spread the compliments thinly, but evenly.

You can see her potential and as a New Years resolution, you have decided to tell her that she can do much better with her smarts.

Sometimes, those women really just need that. And - as prophecies often do - she might do so much better she's getting promoted and out of your way!

P.S: This is a basic strategy I developed as a kindergarten teacher and it works - with some aforementioned add-ons for adults - like a charm. Only difference is that my students get promoted to 1st grade automatically :-)
Lol yeah, right.

You do realize this is about a grown-up woman with (hopefully/likely) an IQ above room temperature and not a 4-year old girl in the sandbox that wasn't in the mood to play with the neighbor's kid who then cried to mummy about it?

Seriously, thinking you can apply your quite questionable kindergarten theories to a corporate, professional setting is ridiculous.
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  #49  
Old 31.12.2016, 10:43
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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The only thing missing is whether or not to engage a lawyer.

And FWIW the OP lacks detail - like in what ways is his life being made hell by this individual?

Cheers,
Nick
This thread is like the other "n" trolling threads - no details just blunt statements ("she makes my life hell", a few lines later - "For my actual duties, I have very little to do with her as she has a basic admin function"), one post and then OP vanishes. You'd say only the "newbies" enjoy this game, lol.

I take it the insignificant little basic admin person didn't smile back at OP. The outrage!
The replies were much more interesting though, as usual.
Popcorn or a nice pot of tea.....

Last edited by greenmount; 31.12.2016 at 10:56.
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  #50  
Old 31.12.2016, 11:28
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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This thread is like the other "n" trolling threads - no details just blunt statements ("she makes my life hell", a few lines later - "For my actual duties, I have very little to do with her as she has a basic admin function"), one post and then OP vanishes. You'd say only the "newbies" enjoy this game, lol.

I take it the insignificant little basic admin person didn't smile back at OP. The outrage!
The replies were much more interesting though, as usual.
Popcorn or a nice pot of tea.....
You do realize that the OP is not a newbie, right? And did in fact thank some of the reponses, indicating hat he stuck around and read them?
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  #51  
Old 31.12.2016, 11:36
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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You do realize that the OP is not a newbie, right? And did in fact thank some of the reponses, indicating hat he stuck around and read them?

Yes, if you read my post carefully you'd have seen that I did realise he's not a newbie.
Thanking for some responses doesn't eliminate the trolling possibility, neither the fact that he's an older member....as you probably know very well.


As I said....popcorn or a big, nice pot of tea.....sigh.
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  #52  
Old 31.12.2016, 12:22
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Yes, if you read my post carefully you'd have seen that I did realise he's not a newbie.
Thanking for some responses doesn't eliminate the trolling possibility, neither the fact that he's an older member....as you probably know very well.


As I said....popcorn or a big, nice pot of tea.....sigh.
I think you need more work at spotting trolls, though "he's a troll" seems to be the response du jour at the moment.
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  #53  
Old 31.12.2016, 12:27
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Hi,
Let me add my share to the pile of theories:

Dear OP, if she believes you have some romantic interest in her, and she has absolutely no interest in you, could be that she’s trying to communicate that to you.
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  #54  
Old 31.12.2016, 12:51
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

My theory: if you get on with everyone else except this one person, she's an arsehole.

I don't know about you, but I don't go to work for fun. If somebody is an arsehole, I maintain professional relations with them and no more. No more is necessary in a working environment. These people are not our friends - they're just the poor sods who ended up working in the same place as us.

No action is necessary. Just do your job.

Simple.
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  #55  
Old 31.12.2016, 14:24
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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my theory: If you get on with everyone else except this one person, she's an arsehole. If, on the other hand, you have problems with everyone, you're the arsehole.
ftfy
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  #56  
Old 31.12.2016, 18:24
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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This thread is like the other "n" trolling threads - no details just blunt statements ("she makes my life hell", a few lines later - "For my actual duties, I have very little to do with her as she has a basic admin function"), one post and then OP vanishes. You'd say only the "newbies" enjoy this game, lol.

I take it the insignificant little basic admin person didn't smile back at OP. The outrage!
The replies were much more interesting though, as usual.
Popcorn or a nice pot of tea.....
I am no troll, just busy with holiday events, that's all. I have read all the posts, thanks to all. Yes, I get on with most of my co-workers, with several it's a simple "Hallo, wie gehts" at the coffee machine, with a few others I've had long interesting conversations, a few don't say much and are distant, and this one woman (who I do not find attractive in the slightest, so nix that theory), is hostile for no apparent reason. I would ignore her if I could but she is in too close proximity, and talks a lot with other co-workers, and I believe she is saying bad things about me behind my back. A basic problem is that all 50 of us sit in one big open plan office, all level of hierarchy in full view of each other. It's not a pleasant arrangement.
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Old 31.12.2016, 18:28
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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I believe she is saying bad things about me behind my back.
And your reason for believing that is? Has anyone told you it has happened?
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Old 31.12.2016, 18:52
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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And your reason for believing that is? Has anyone told you it has happened?
I'm pretty good at detecting subtle behavioral changes in people. And I've noticed it in a couple people she frequently associates with. That's all the evidence I have.
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Old 31.12.2016, 19:01
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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I'm pretty good at detecting subtle behavioral changes in people. And I've noticed it in a couple people she frequently associates with. That's all the evidence I have.
It's possible you're good at noticing, but it's also your opinion is being subconsciously influenced by mild paranoia here. The more you worry about her, the more you will think about it, and the more obvious it will be to others too. Not to mention the more uncomfortable you act around her, the more that will empower and satisfy her.

From what you are telling us you haven't wronged her in any way that you can think of, so why are you so worried about it? If you aren't willing to confront the situation then you're going to have to learn to turn the other cheek, put on a cheerful face, and ignore her. That will also have the added benefit of pissing her off more than anything else.
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Old 31.12.2016, 19:10
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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A basic problem is that all 50 of us sit in one big open plan office, all level of hierarchy in full view of each other. It's not a pleasant arrangement.
Open Plan is the pits (toned down language for the masses) invented by someone who has passed lots of university exams with big theories & absolutely no understanding of basic humanity.
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