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  #101  
Old 06.01.2017, 15:15
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Thanks again.. I can rule out the jealously part because I might have taken a position she wanted.. my job requires English as mother language - she is native Swiss with mediocre English skills, plus I work for a tech company, and she has no technical background (I have a BS in engineering). She is literally an office administrator, answering the phone, generating invoices, managing the CRM. I will know more soon... I can't see ignoring her forever as a viable solution. Anyway, we have the company ski weekend in 2 weeks... she will be there, lots of booze...
Ooh theres a CRM system you can screw up for her, hours on the helpline to fix messes in these types of system
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  #102  
Old 06.01.2017, 16:22
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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It's colloquially called a dialect, but from a linguistic standpoint Swiss German easily meets the basic criteria for being considered a distinct language. (Linguistics is one of the things I studied.)
Which criteria? I'm honestly interested.

To me I've always thought of Swiss German's relation to German being like Glaswegian's (Glaswegeian English) relationaship to standard English...
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  #103  
Old 07.01.2017, 12:23
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

And it doesn't work with policemen

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That can cause you nightmares, beware.
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  #104  
Old 08.01.2017, 11:59
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Which criteria? I'm honestly interested.
Probably based on ISO 639-3.
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  #105  
Old 20.03.2017, 20:42
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

So, OP......did you make friends with the difficult co-worker in the end?

It seemed like a very urgent and insufferable situation back then....what happened?
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  #106  
Old 20.03.2017, 23:00
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

well, it's been status quo for weeks (months). I finally decided to act, and invited her to lunch. So we went out for lunch. Had a civil conversation (I think). It was clear, though, that she wanted it to be as short as possible.

I would say our relationship went from minus 80 to minus 20. So, a small bit of progress.

She's still a bitch. But I have learned she is that way because she is insecure and unhappy. I will just stick to being polite and professional. What other option do I have?
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  #107  
Old 20.03.2017, 23:31
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

I guess you can't expect everyone to like you, and yes involving others (especially management/HR) is not great if the problems are just in a social capacity. Even if you think her behavior could potentially be seen as unprofessional.

Maybe just find someone to rant to (like this forum) as a way of blowing off steam, and continuing to have civil conversations.

Doubt this will be the last time you are in this situation, so having some experience on how to deal with it will probably prove useful.
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  #108  
Old 13.03.2018, 23:42
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Just ignore......... not worth your time to worry about it..... jobs here are hard to get.........
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  #109  
Old 09.02.2019, 09:26
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Thought I'd wrap up this thread I started 2 years ago with "what ever happened...". In the end the management intervened, and asked me to work from home, but part-time. I guess I am too American for an open-plan Swiss dominated office. I agreed, promptly found a 2nd part-time job in tech marketing, so now I have two 40% jobs, earn the same as I did working 100% with Wednesdays off and 2 days home office. And I don't have to see that nasty b**ch ever again. Not a bad arrangement in the end!
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  #110  
Old 13.06.2019, 08:38
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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It's not bi-polar behaviour, but never mind

Is there any reason that she might not like you that you can't do much about? Ie Nationality, Language, Race, Religion etc? If it is that something like that (and even if it's not), talking about it probably won't help and putting her on the spot in front of co-workers and managers will probably get her back up even more.

I would be super nice to her (not ignore her). Bring her cups of coffee/cake/biscuits, offer to get her things/help her out, compliment her etc etc. Be so nice that she has to be nice back eventually.


Seriously? If someone is not nice to you because of your nationality, race, religion, etc and you bring them coffee and biscuits, seems like the very wrong thing to do. I would do the exact opposite. I have no tolerance for people who are hostile due to factors other people cannot control or change.
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  #111  
Old 13.06.2019, 08:47
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Seriously? If someone is not nice to you because of your nationality, race, religion, etc and you bring them coffee and biscuits, seems like the very wrong thing to do. I would do the exact opposite. I have no tolerance for people who are hostile due to factors other people cannot control or change.

It seems you are headed for a fruitful and long career in Switzerland......


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  #112  
Old 13.06.2019, 09:12
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Seriously? If someone is not nice to you because of your nationality, race, religion, etc and you bring them coffee and biscuits, seems like the very wrong thing to do. I would do the exact opposite. I have no tolerance for people who are hostile due to factors other people cannot control or change.
You have to keep in mind they are very insecure and impressionable people. Sometimes rejection comes from a genuine fear, it's easy to dismiss it as ignorance but it's real and can make someone behave like a total jerk. Live and let live. I'd choose something between these two attitudes. I wouldn't be too nice, just cool and polite...polite despite everything. Eventually they forget about you. They always find new "enemies"...

Last edited by greenmount; 13.06.2019 at 09:41.
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  #113  
Old 13.06.2019, 09:13
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Seriously? If someone is not nice to you because of your nationality, race, religion, etc and you bring them coffee and biscuits, seems like the very wrong thing to do. I would do the exact opposite. I have no tolerance for people who are hostile due to factors other people cannot control or change.
Having said that, there's a certain satisfaction of being perfectly civil and terribly pleasant to someone who is a total arsehole. It knocks them for six and they are completely on the back-foot...

It throws a massive spotlight on the fact that the problem is entirely with them and their awfully small mind.
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  #114  
Old 13.06.2019, 09:41
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Perhaps, I misspoke. I did not mean to be rude and offensive, however I would not tolerate such behavior. Especially not by bringing biscuits and coffee. Most serious employers have a very strict policy against such intolerable behavior. I would personally go to HR and if they do not take this seriously, then the employer is not worth my time.
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  #115  
Old 13.06.2019, 09:50
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Perhaps, I misspoke. I did not mean to be rude and offensive, however I would not tolerate such behavior. Especially not by bringing biscuits and coffee. Most serious employers have a very strict policy against such intolerable behavior. I would personally go to HR and if they do not take this seriously, then the employer is not worth my time.
I didn't think you were rude or offensive, everyone simply acts differently. Maybe it's cultural or maybe it just comes down to individual personality types. Some will ignore it or gloss over it in an attempt to shame it with kindness (me ), some will take it straight to HR for an independent kind of solution, some will have a stand up row in the office (my colleague ) and some might just punch the bugger in the throat (not advised ).
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  #116  
Old 13.06.2019, 18:49
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Well, as the OP who started this thread 2.5 years ago, last week came the satisfying epilogue to the tale. It was officially announced to all via email that the management have decided to terminate her contract. After 6 years of her being a black hole of hatred and misery. Can't believe it took them that long. Me, I continue to do my two 40% gigs, half of that from home office. I have to thank her in the end that I landed in this position. Looking forward to never seeing her miserable face or hearing her whiney voice ever again.
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  #117  
Old 13.06.2019, 20:04
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

Sounds like a girl I met at my previous job. Sadly usually there is not much you can do since that person will always win in the end as they are buddies with the boss or someone from HR. Been there done that.
Literally every job I had since leaving my last one I came across some
Major birch who made my life hell. Luckily these were temping positions and I was able to quit. There is nothing being done here when it comes to bullying.

I find the job market here quite shocking, anything goes.

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OK, I was going to say "Office b*tch", because that would be more accurate. In a nutshell, a 30-ish chronically unhappy woman who has been hostile to me from day 1. Doesn't return greetings, avoids eye contact, and jumps on every opportunity to make my life hell. Oddly, she is all sweetness and light to people she likes. Bipolar behavior from someone who is basically a miserable person. How to diffuse the situation? I have gone over the scenarios:

- Directly approach her and ask her why she is so unfriendly, and whether I said or did something wrong. I hesitate on this one as without a mediator, this could quickly go in a bad direction and make things worse.

- Ask the boss to mediate. This only puts him in an awkward situation and makes him wonder why I can't handle my own situation.

- Ask HR to mediate: from my experience, HR is equivalent to corporate gestapo and only gives them the opportunity to gather evidence/ammunition to lower raise and bonus.

- Ignore her: this I've been doing, but having her sit in the same area literally radiating hostility is slowly eating away at me.

- Ask a co-worker to mediate, one who I get along with, and gets along with her. I hesitate to do this as we work well together and I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation.

For my actual duties, I have very little to do with her as she has a basic admin function.

Any experiences or recommendations? I am afraid that maintaining status-quo (ignoring her) will only work for so long before tensions spill over.
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  #118  
Old 13.06.2019, 20:32
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Well, as the OP who started this thread 2.5 years ago, last week came the satisfying epilogue to the tale. It was officially announced to all via email that the management have decided to terminate her contract. After 6 years of her being a black hole of hatred and misery. Can't believe it took them that long. Me, I continue to do my two 40% gigs, half of that from home office. I have to thank her in the end that I landed in this position. Looking forward to never seeing her miserable face or hearing her whiney voice ever again.
some people have all the luck!
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  #119  
Old 13.06.2019, 22:32
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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some people have all the luck!
It had little to do with luck, but with the right response to a difficult situation thrust upon me. It took time and was painful. But in the end I feel justice has prevailed.
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  #120  
Old 14.06.2019, 07:58
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Re: How to deal with difficult co-worker

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Sounds like a girl I met at my previous job. Sadly usually there is not much you can do since that person will always win in the end as they are buddies with the boss or someone from HR. Been there done that.
Literally every job I had since leaving my last one I came across some
Major birch who made my life hell. Luckily these were temping positions and I was able to quit. There is nothing being done here when it comes to bullying.

I find the job market here quite shocking, anything goes.
Came across with only one character like this and it was here, in Switzerland...and not even Swiss, imagine! Not a factor in deciding to quit though, it was due to the fact that I wanted to stay home with my kids after my maternity leave. I wouldn't say she made my life miserable on purpose though, I think she was just incredibly stupid, totally unaware of the world around her. It could have also been a bias against my nationality, who knows. (I have some clues but wouldn't totally pin her bile on this, I wasn't the only one she disliked). I don't know what's to be done in such a situation, I left too "early", before it could have become a major problem for me. (as I see now it really can make one's life miserable) Frankly I never knew how to react to unjustified hostility, still have to learn my lessons in order to be able to address it adequately. I don't come from this kind of environment or culture.
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