But when I see a Frankie Boyle comedy routine or hear Peter Capaldi on Doctor Who, I'm still hearing normal English words---just with a strong accent. If that is also true for Swiss German dialects, your advice holds, but if the actual WORDS are different, it's a different situation entirely. I can't blame the OP if he decides that learning the local dialect is the only way to break the social isolation caused by the language barrier.

OP - you sound miserable. If we were to talk with each other, I would suggest that you go home. The negativity is overwhelming, and probably (definitely affecting your daughter - holding her back?). Set yourself a deadline to find a positive attitude (sooner than later) and if you can't do it, go back to your comfort zone. At least you know you tried.

Have you not even made connections in the Expat (English-speaking) communities? Have you joined https://www.internations.org as there will be regular activites in your area (Zürich?). If not, English also seems to be a problem for you in connecting with others, not just German and Swiss German.

I sincerely hope you are not one of these people who complain about people moving to your home country who can't speak English, that they should not be in the USA and should leave. Would be an irony if this was the case....

Not sure what they've got to do with it. Neither of them are speaking in dialect when you see them. Try going to pubs in those cities and you'll soon realise that they do indeed have their own distinct vocabularies.

But it cannot work, because without the 'standard' language to back it up, he'll never be able to understand everybody - even in a small village you'll hear a vast range of language, some hardly varying, except in accent, from standard german. Even those locals who speak in dialect all the time can converse freely with non-dialect speakers.

I think your main mistake was to think you have to make a choice between expats or foreigners and the Swiss. Is either one or the other. Never both in the same time. It must have put a huge psychological pressure on your shoulders, no wonder you resent some people or some things now.(or at least it appears like that). But the (German) Swiss are not responsible for your choices, and definitely they are not.....regressive. God, no. Yes, they do many things differently...sometimes one learns to appreciate that too.

Anyway, I hate generalisations. But I give you the credit for drawing some conclusions only after what it looks like sufficient and non-superficial observations, after actually living with them. Speaking of which, some personal details would be interesting. Is or was your life partner Swiss? Were you only or most of the time in her or his circles?

I would disagree that people are "wasting their time running their mouths all day." Running my mouth sounding like a total idiot is what got me to a B2 in French in 8 months (and a C1 in German after three years). Try running your mouth more...but not in english

I dislike generalisations as well and yes my wife is Swiss and I was in her cirlcles as it was, or still is, difficult to form my own circle. Family life and work etc.
I should say I didnt exclude having expat friends as I have a few but I also didnt stay in the bubble. The reggresive comment was more directed to the Bunzli Schweizer. There are many Swiss who cant stand this mentality as well. All in all I still like it here despite all the difficulties. Sometimes I think I've had enough and want to go back home, but then I take my MTB to the Alps and think where else in the world do we have so many cable cars and even more trails? Plus everytime I feel like moving back all I have to do is look at the news. No thanks, maybe after 2020.

Thanks, I totally understand you.

Yes. I agree. If you can't grasp the language, can't find a job - then are you not better off in your own country, or somewhere that speaks English? We live in the French part, which is just as difficult as German when you have never heard a word of it. Yet my two kids learnt to speak French within 6 months of us being here 20 years ago. We never spoke any French to them at all. That does not mean French is easier, as we also have the genders like le, the la and the it. Very difficult. I still battle with that. They may need some extra tutoring for their child that still cannot understand. And even English, if you were to think of it, to learn, can't be so easy either. We speak it, so we don't realise. We also have - hear and here, hare and hair, there and their, bare and bear - etc, they all sound the same. - so it must be also confusing for foreigners to learn that. My husband is Swiss French, and for the 44 years we've been together, he still can't pronounce th (as in the) words, he will always say de. Not like the true French who would say "ze" haha. Good luck to this family. Hope it works out for them, is not easy changing countries, ask me.

What I hate is when I start off speaking in German ( guten Tag ) and the other ( German or Swiss national ) asks if I would rather speak in English. I always say nein. And they looked visibly put off by that.

That is because you are being rude after what was probably meant as a helpful question. Get over the fact that you need another twenty years practice, laugh about it, and they might be quite happy to put up with your mangling the language.

Quite wrong what you say. I say to the person quite politely nein and that its OK speaking German.( because I speak good German. )

That is because you are asking them to speak a foreign language! And given the choice between High German and English, they’d prefer to go with English, that way their mistakes are more acceptable than in High German.

They can speak how they want. I dont say to them please speak in High German. I am just as happy with Swiss German.I am simply saying no I dont want to speak in English. Its their problem what they do with that not mine!

I ask that they speak their dialect (which I understand fully), but tell them that I will answer in High German, as my pronunciation of Zürideutsch is awful enough that I don't want to hurt their ears.

What nonsense. Foreign language?! Its taught in all the schools as first language. In German CH

Actually it is a foreign language, usually the first one the kids learn.

It is a foreign language to them. Not alone that but it one that they are supposed to be really good at, as even YOU seem to expect. Which is one of the reason why they suggest English to you, since it means that mistakes are more acceptable. I don't really expect you to appreciate this, given your posting history on this and similar topics - you really need to learn to see it not just from your side.

Honest question - is high German taught in schools?

The reason I ask is (as you know from another thread), I'm studying German.
The organisation my employer picks is teaching Swiss German, whereby they have high German for 90% - but then some words are not "german" (e.g. poulet, gipfeli, gruezi, etc).

The reasoning I was given was that when you speak high German to a client, they get flashbacks to their school years...

Or flash backs to the second world war

Big question of course is why Discovery necroed a 2 year old thread?