Hey everyone,

I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Found a new place to work this year, yay (software development). After switching jobs almost yearly, sometimes twice-yearly, due to mostly sleep deprivation/health problems which should now be better, I thought this would be the place to be for a few years.
Now in the last 6 months, 3 people quit, and almost everyone else is getting laid off by the end of the year, as there is no money, so that only the management and the apprentices are left, and two guys in their fifties who have been here for decades and who are mostly responsible for the mainframe infrastructure and programming.
They had promised a 10% raise after the end of the probation period, which of course hasn't happened.
Planning on a quiet job as it was at first, and with the promised raise, I applied for an online MSc which should take about 15h per week.

So I'll be alone with one of the mainframe guys in an office, and he's a great guy, but not really the brightest, and constantly asking to help solve his problems. And now it seems like they think I'll be responsible for supporting the apprentices, the other guy, the customers, since yesterday with the added role of scrum master because the guy who was responsible for that quit, maintaining the projects which everyone left orphaned when leaving the company, on top of the 100% role of software developer in the project for which they hired me in the first place, but which brings no money to the company as they haven't managed to sell it to anyone yet.
They're all great and kind and working hard (well apart from the one who keeps eating in the office, and walking around in his underwear while he's looking for his bike pants, if you can read this, hii!) and they love me, but the pressure has been steadily increasing and there is no end in sight.

So now since a few days I've been unable to sleep, constant chest pains from the stress, and I'm wondering - is this really all worth it? Is this something everybody has to go through and it's just me who's being a sissy? Should I just accept the grey hair, 20+ kg weight gain per 6 months, and inevitable heart attack? How would you all deal with this?

Random thoughts would be welcome.

Look for a new job.

That thought crossed my mind (a few times).
But: again?
And it seems to me like the company would not survive this. They invested a lot for me to take over the project from where it was outsourced, with visits there, and everything.

When I was in a similarly stressful work situation, my solution was to structure what little personal time I had, because it was something that I had full control over. I batch cooked all my evening meals on Saturday morning, and froze them. I walked a lot and slept as much as I could, when I could. Some nights I only got 2 or 3 hrs, but was averaging 4-5 hrs on weekdays.

The biggest tip I can give you is to learn to 'switch off'. Only watch (what I call) 'bubblegum tv', the non-serious stuff that many people would turn their nose up at. Remember you're not getting paid 24/7, so don't give them 24/7. Embrace the grey hairs. They're proof that you made it this far.

Most of all, see a doctor about the chest pains. You need to have your mind put at rest about those.

Can you get out and walk a bit from the office or walk to the office from a station away or a couple of tram stops?

Walking will help to destress you as well as lower your blood pressure. Stick on some good music or listen to an entertaining podcast through your ear buds.

Flick an elastic band at the trouser-less cyclist, too. No excuse for walking around in your duds in the office.

Have a frank talk with them and structure the work day realistically in the time frame you have. If you don't they will kick more your way by default and continue to allow you to become overworked and stressed. Be calm, firm and constructive in finding a way forward for yourself.

Schedule nice but dim, to seek support/ help 2 times per day with you so that you're not constantly disrupted. Be realistic about what you can do and be honest with yourself and with them. And see where that gets you.. for starters bet you'll breathe deeper and relax that chest.

However, that said, if you're really, really stressed now, see a Doc, get a couple of days off to rest, let them struggle like crazy.. then go in and have that talk.

Be well and look after yourself.

Jesus, that sounds awful
That used to be easy.
Commuting by car instead of by train seems to make this more difficult somehow. Or maybe it's not working in the city anymore, and only dealing with people from work.


Walking is a good idea, thank you.
Biker as in Hell's Angels biker. Big, muscled, bearded, sunglasses, leather. No way I'm flicking stuff at him.



Thank you. In an ideal world...

Can't be me, I always close the door to my office when I'm in my underwear.

Tom

Sorry, had the lycra-clad sort in my mind...

Now I'll need some eye bleach...

Dude, seriously, you don't own anything to anyone but yourself, your family and your friends roughly in that order. Definitely not to work that seems to kill you in 10 years for no good reason.

Find another job, start looking now, when something materializes (=you sign the contract), let your other employer know and help them transition to somebody who will replace you. And be frank with your next employer that it will take few months till they get you because of this. They should actually appreciate that you care about the company you are leaving.

Even in Switzerland which is really bad place for software development compared to, well, almost anywhere else in the world - I mean how hard is it to find work, how underpaid you are compared to average salary in the country... you should be treated with respect.

Not your problem.

While your loyalty is commendable, having found myself in a similar situation and also not reacting before it was almost too late because of a deep sense of loyalty, I recommend removing yourself from the situation. Yes, it sucks for the company, but here's a thought - if they are in trouble anyway and you are so essential to the survival, do you not think that the pay raise would be even more important to give you? Unless you earn a fantastic wage, those 10% should not impact the overall result and is the minimum to expect when you are suddenly burdened with a lot more work and worry than originally promised. Conversely, your departure would cost them a lot more (if you are really so essential to operations) and trying to get you to stay by playing on your sense of duty is a popular way of getting people to give the very last drop of energy without having to actually reward them for it.

Sure, they will thank you for your work and tell you how much you are appreciated, but in the end, if you might find yourself utterly depleted, your MSc may go belly up, you will constantly shift your comfort compass to tell yourself that this is all still fine and when it all comes tumbling down it will have been for what? A job where a guy walks around in his underpants. The damage done by long-term stress is insidious and if you burn out, you will never, ever fully recover (according to science and stuff) because it damages parts of your hippocampus. This means that your resilience to stress will be lower for the rest of your life, it can even impact your memory.

The French say "il ne faut pas perdre sa vie à la gagner" (don't lose your life while making a living) and it is very true. Especially if you are the kind of person who cares about their work, because I have heard more tales of people getting completely disillusioned after big promises to recognise the hard work disappeared into thin air than the other kind. In fact, I don't really recall any of the other kind in recent times.

Of course look for a new job. This is very much a no-brainer.

You do know that the best time to search for a new job is while you are employed, right?

No job (unless the salary is exceptional) is worth this magnitude of stress and worry in my opinion. Take it this way - time is your most valuable resource and if you are spending it in a way that literally damages your mental wellbeing, then ask yourself if it's really worth it.

Sure, finding a new job sucks, but you will probably regret not doing it if the current situation continues (and somehow gets even worse) .. so it's always worth checking around.

As a reminder, to a company you are just a number. Nothing else. No matter how much they tout their buzzwords about close community, amazing environment and superb perks. Don't think about your employer as your friend, but rather an entity who buys your time. This will help you getting a different perspective to the whole deal.

How can you expect to be taken seriously when you make crazy comments like this? You haven't even been long at the company, you say the job is causing you 'serious stress'... and yet you bizarrely worry for its survival if you leave? Give me a break.

If you are switching jobs yearly or even twice yearly then the problem is likely related to you and your career choice.

I have experienced that doing some good things outside the work improved my overall mood and, as a consequence, the work.

Try to see if there is room for practicing some sport or finding time for a hobby.

That won't help your company to get back into financial shape, but it will help you to minimize the stress deriving from that.

Thank you everybody for the answers, there are too many to answer every one of them



Yes, this is all part of the same problem. As written above, due to health issues (sleep apnea) I was waking up around 70 times per hour all through the night. This seriously messed up my attention span and my ability to deal with people. Now for the first time in my life I have a job where this is being treated, and where I have freedom and can learn and evolve, where people are not telling me every 5min how I should be doing my work. Of course this job is not only bad and stressful, and to be honest they treat me like a demigod here, and this part of it feels awesome.
Also, the people are kind, there is not one single person in the whole company where I wouldn't go drink a beer with them. This is very rare, in my experience. There's always been "that guy" you hope you won't have to work with today.
The commute is also about 1/3 of what it would take to get to Zurich by train. (Just writing positive stuff to counter the negative things above)

I join K_and_E: Get a new job. Apparently that is no problem for you, so use your abilities

You've done this wrong anyway. You keep switching jobs, when you notice that you didn't have the urge to look for an other one for a year or two you think <<this would be the place to be for a few years>>. You don't think that when you start it and don't even know, how it turns out to be. That's how I did well anyway. I had two jobs where I turned around "I've been here more than 10 years? What the heck, was it really that good?"

You've not arrived, move on.

And stop hiding your mate's bike pants, perv.

__________________
It's all a matter or perspective.
So move your butt and look at it from the other side

But you are still stressed and not achieving your desired goal.
You need to set some parameters, expectations, rewards and most of all a way to handle all these roles together with the people available.
Perhaps you are not a software developer anymore - you are becoming a coordinator.
It happens - (It did to me) you need to delegate parts of your jobs.
Be strong and maybe you could enjoy it - as long as your company does not go tits up

TL;DR; look for a new job

Most young software developers think that their job is just to code. They dream of having a nice desk in a quiet corner and clearly defined long term tasks. The reality is that a software engineer's job is to take care of the technical side of the product. Software engineer does not have to be a nerd knowing every bit of chosen tools, frameworks etc. Software engineer should know how to handle technology and do it responsibly. Nowadays we have the work culture which keeps software engineers "young" even in their late 30ties. It's very common to hear out there "the guy have been working there for x years and I had to tell him how this or that works, imagine?".

Business rises and falls. Switzerland is a pit on earth regarding IT technology. I'm not surprised you walk from company to company and cannot find anything good. Somehow it is a land of startups but there's no good ground for it. Firstly the mentality, as soon as the startup seems to have chance to succeed politics of hiring "local staf" emerges - oh, let's become the Swiss company. Secondly, to succeed the startup has to make through the barrier to access the USA or Chinese market.

I decided to work for my own brand, be a contractor. I take the job when there is a real work to be done and leave for the next adventure. The money is good and I don't really care what sort of staf the company is hiring as I won't be there long term.