And that, my friend, is why they refuse.


There are two opposing views on this thread.

Maybe the people on this thread who are having their seat offers consistently rejected ought to look and ask themselves why they are being rejected rather than blaming the constraints of society.

Scowling look, begrudgedly offering...

As Terrifish wrote -try doing it with a smile.

Whats more worse is the the people that look in the other direction when they see a person with a pram waiting for the tram. And whats also worse is the people with a pram who want you to help them them get in an old tram ( ZH ) and want to do it the wrong way. ( feet first )

Is head-first better?

They're living in their own world. I'm more the social kind of person and will always make sure that someone else will offer their seat.

That's a bit of a binary view of things, don't you think? How do you know the offers are being rejected because of scowls and begrudging offers? How do you know they are "consistently rejected"? Could just be that the person doesn't want to be treated as "elderly" or "infirm" and is inwardly cringing that some thousand-watt do-gooder is singling them out as incapable of standing for a couple of stops.

I'd be mortified.

I think the point is just to use your best judgment. A subtle offer with eye-contact to someone obviously struggling is probably the most welcome way of going about it, and is probably the most common way I see on public transport.

I travel on the trams every day and, in the city, the seat turnover is pretty quick so even if you don't ask or aren't offered a seat the chances are you'll get one within a stop or two, which is why people seem to be content just to hang on for a couple of minutes.

The truth is that most people really struggling seem to be offered a seat. It just "works".

Can't understand the pearl-clutching drama on these types of threads.

Did you?

Tom

Just think of standing in a tram (or LS subway for that matter) as a surfing practice.

I only feel like sitting down when I got my heels on and after a crazy day.

People help out when asked, anywhere. And get nicely surprised if one offers a seat, helps out with groceries or a baby carriage.

You are more hilarious than yesterday.

Now...about tomorrow..

Define "elderly".
I see plenty of old folk dressed for hiking waving those damn sticks around.

Otherwise old folk only if they're accompanied by both parents to vouch for them.

I agree. However, I think there's a sort of fat shaming mentality/culture? here (and elsewhere) that prevent most people to think the way you or I think. If I'm alone, and rarely am these days, I act as if I have to get off to the next stop and leave the seat free for the person I might have noticed needs a seat more than I do.
That's the thing with offering your seat - always with a smile but also a bit careful about some people's sensibilities.

Anyhow, not a problem with offering my seat lately as I am now one of those people who "rush" (more like being determined) to secure a place for their children. But before that I didn't mind travelling standing up, back home we're taught not to rush to secure seats when we're young, it's impolite. Who knows what children/teens/youth get these days. I know there are always the polite kids, here and everywhere, and you can imagine their parents were more careful to raise them kind and generous, but it's also the influence others/peers have, this new technology that keeps them so...not present. Self-centered (maybe not a bad thing, sometimes it's better to protect yourself).

Some people do notice, and would like to offer, but can't.

A while ago I saw a young woman with a baby in a pram, and a toddler, waiting at a tram stop. From afar, a slouchy teenager was watching her. He ambled over to another young man (it didn't look as if they knew each other) who had to take out his earphones to listen to him. The slouchy one nodded "over there" and the earphones one walked over to the woman and said: "I'm sorry I didn't see you. My friend (in Swss German: "Kolleg") over there told me he's got an injured back, and you're going to need help when the tram gets here."

Witnessing that made my day!

Exactly.
Never witnessed this or deemed it to be an issue in Switzerland. Unless I'm wedged into a corner by bags and suitcases, I happily give up my seat to people who may need it, particularly parents travelling on their own whilst trying to wrangle a few little ones. OH is always the first to offer help with prams and pushchairs. Had a friend over last month who had a knee injury, and she was offered a seat on every mode of transport we took. But you know what...sometimes I just want to stand on public transport because I can't be bothered taking my backpack off, and politely decline seat offers.

Well I wouldn’t like to comment regarding the weaker sex...that’s a whole other discussion...

But I do offer my seat regularly...I don’t know if it only has to do with the way I was brought up or with the fact that I am a health professional...thank you for asking...

Yes . I was always told to stand up when a lady comes in the room. So it's a habit I got into in the trams. Thats why I always lose my seat.

What has "health professional" got to do with it, people here in general are fairly fit and active as opposed to other "couch potato" cultures.


How do you know the person already sitting isn't more deserving (recent surgery for instance) or the person standing is only going one or 2 stops and prefers to stand.


If somebody wants or needs a seat, it happens very quickly and efficiently here as opposed to some other cultures

Yes I am also a health professional and perceptive as to the condition of the elderly. So I can better assess whether an elderly person really needs to sit or not

I can see the scene: "Xcuse me, would you let me have your seat, I have a bad back?"
Omtatsat: " No that would be even worse for you. I'm a professional, I can tell your fourth and fith vertebra are clinched. That's not only from too much but even more from sitting in a wrong position. This tram seat would increase the problem. And while you keep standing now, make sure you put equal amount of your weight - which is too much for your height, by the way - on each foot.
When we get to the city you should go and shop for a balance chair. They do wonders for your back".



He'd be right about the balance-chairs though. Stokke are great (wish they'd pay me for that comment though)

__________________
It's all a matter or perspective.
So move your butt and look at it from the other side

This is scary.

That's why I drive in my car only. I mean, riding a tram is like taking along hitch-hikers. And what did we learn about those?

Lots of people I see can barely stay awake on the train after a day’s work, so they are not looking around for people who need seats.

That said, I have yet to see a person say ‘No’ when they are asked. So far, I have lived in three countries and it has been exactly the same.

I am also a young smartphone type but I try to help people carry their suitcases and prams to the train (even as a member of the weaker sex ), as I have noticed there is often no ramp - it must be a struggle at some stations if you are in a wheelchair.