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  #61  
Old 14.03.2021, 07:51
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Re: phone conversation too loud

Itís a big problem to have creasy neighbours.
The building where I work has apartment in it and this lady makes everybody leave. But Iíve realised thatís the only solution with a neighbour that makes life hell: leaving...
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  #62  
Old 19.03.2021, 19:34
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Re: phone conversation too loud

My husband used to live in an apartment with the worst neighbors. It was just my husband living there. He's a quiet Swiss guy. Not a loud American, like myself. haha. The landlord told him that the neighbors only started complaining of noise at night after he moved in - during times my husband was asleep. The first time, the neighbors came to him and he realized that having his router on the wooden beam was how they were hearing noise - vibration. So he moved it and had been careful that nothing was touching wood anywhere that may travel through the house. Then he was told that at 10pm, he was expected to turn off all lights, turn off all electronics - including turning off his internet modem. They wanted him to unplug everything at 10pm every night. lmao. He could have fought it but since the neighbors were terrible, he moved instead. lol.
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  #63  
Old 19.03.2021, 20:27
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Re: phone conversation too loud

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My husband used to live in an apartment with the worst neighbors. It was just my husband living there. He's a quiet Swiss guy. Not a loud American, like myself. haha. The landlord told him that the neighbors only started complaining of noise at night after he moved in - during times my husband was asleep. The first time, the neighbors came to him and he realized that having his router on the wooden beam was how they were hearing noise - vibration. So he moved it and had been careful that nothing was touching wood anywhere that may travel through the house. Then he was told that at 10pm, he was expected to turn off all lights, turn off all electronics - including turning off his internet modem. They wanted him to unplug everything at 10pm every night. lmao. He could have fought it but since the neighbors were terrible, he moved instead. lol.
I would've given them as presents some tin foil hats instead.
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  #64  
Old 19.03.2021, 20:29
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Re: phone conversation too loud

My neighbours keep mentioning I'm so quiet. They're used to noisier neighbours.
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  #65  
Old 19.03.2021, 21:56
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Re: phone conversation too loud

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We share the joy of two of our neighbors, Swiss new parents, right above our bedroom (a baby boy, 8 months) and across the living room (a baby girl, 2 months) of our flat.

I am not Swiss, so, for me, a baby crying at any time is the most normal and natural thing to happen. My hubby is Swiss. He is not of the same opinion, and if I would not have stopped him, he would have gone several times to knocl on the door of the neighbours... so yes, Swiss seem to be very sensitive to this 'noise curfew' ...
And yet being Swiss I'd expect him to know that kids noise is legal (and child crying at nights is expected and part of child development process) and him going and complaining would actually be nothing but bad behaviour and prove he's not up to speed on kids noise regulations in Switzerland.
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  #66  
Old 03.04.2021, 20:04
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Re: phone conversation too loud

Well, an unexpected event this week with the neighbors that complain about noise. I'm not mad and don't want to fight anymore, the neighbors triggered memento mori.

Well, I signed up for the Mieterverband and thought about calling them if the neighbors ever come back shouting at my door. He did come back this week but still not sure what happened.

I was focused working last Thursday when I listened to someone putting a key on my apartment door. I asked my wife, where she was going. She replied nowhere. I got curious and looked through the peephole. It was the neighbor that complained about my loud phone conversation a month ago.

My anger went 0 to 100 in a moment, opened the door and planned to go nuclear on him. But when I opened the door he was more out of his mind than me. Not in the sense of being angry but lost or disoriented. The eyes we had when we drank too much when we were 20 YO. So, I did not even raise my voice. I just said GrŁezi, he realized he was trying to open the wrong door, felt ashamed and left in silence. When I saw through the peephole I was ready to fight. When I opened the door I saw a frail old man who cannot find his home. His brain is melting. There's no way he can try to open other door. My wife hanged a distinctive Easter decor.

Two days later I'm still flabbergasted. On one hand, there's no problem with the neighbors anymore. He's literally falling to dementia. So, where the noise comes from? From my flat or from his head? I'll ask other neighbors, maybe they also had weird encounters. If that's the case, the neighbor is literally crazy, so no worries.

On the other hand. Is this how our lives end? Fighting ghosts? The existential dread is a bit overwhelming. I hurt one of my knees a couple weekends ago, all I can do for now is drive and sit in the grass to enjoy the sun. Hope it helps.

So, I don't have a problem with the neighbors anymore. Now I'm thinking about what fraction of this type of neighbors disagreements is because one brain is literally melting away, becoming hypersensitive to anything. It's sad....I take another sun bath tomorrow.
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  #67  
Old 04.04.2021, 00:49
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Re: phone conversation too loud

Thanks for updating the thread, Axa.

Some forms of dementia can indeed make those afflicted ultra sensitive to sound. As well irrational, angry, and prone to aggression. As for the 1AM incident - sundowning, agitation during the nighttime, is very common in Alzheimers and some other forms of dementia. It's a frightenly cruel disease - for the patient, and for family, friends, and neighbors.

Despite all that has gone on, given what you suspect, try to be as kind as you can be with the neighbor. And when you can't, simply disengage. As a very wise person once told me: It's not the person acting out, it's the disease.

Wishing you and your family all the best.
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  #68  
Old 04.04.2021, 10:14
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Re: phone conversation too loud

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Some forms of dementia can indeed make those afflicted ultra sensitive to sound. As well irrational, angry, and prone to aggression. As for the 1AM incident - sundowning, agitation during the nighttime, is very common in Alzheimers and some other forms of dementia. It's a frightenly cruel disease - for the patient, and for family, friends, and neighbors.
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My Swiss friend used to have a neighbour like this and they argued for years. Basically my friends were a normal family with 2 kids, with a normal/acceptable noise level with downstairs neighbours living in a totally different phase of life. It was a couple actually and I don't know if it was only because of an early dementia of one of them or just elderly folk needing more quiet time. My friend finally took one step further and complained to their son. The son was astonished as they didn't sound like his parents at all. In the end the elderly couple agreed to move to a senior home and I think it was for their own good too.

@Axa, if you happen to accidentaly meet his family, let them know. They might not be aware of his situation. Take care and be kind.

Last edited by greenmount; 04.04.2021 at 10:25.
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  #69  
Old 04.04.2021, 13:38
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Re: phone conversation too loud

Thanks melloncollie and greenmount.

A totally different phase of life.....I'll think about this for a while.
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  #70  
Old 04.04.2021, 13:57
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Re: phone conversation too loud

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When I saw through the peephole I was ready to fight. When I opened the door I saw a frail old man who cannot find his home.
I've done that once before. The layout of each of the floors is identical in our building. Plus the management have banned people from putting decorations etc outside the doors - the people below us used to have a wee rack to put their wellies on. For whatever reason, the lift stopped on the wrong floor - plus people in our building rarely lock their main door when they are inside.

I had our neighbour's door open for long enough to realise it is far too tidy to be our place, but was able to get away before they noticed my intrusion.

Cheers,
Nick
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Old 04.04.2021, 16:23
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Re: phone conversation too loud

A few years ago, someone in my block, an older woman who's been here since the deluge, had some mental issues a couple years after her husband had died. There's nothing you can really do as a stranger but to inform the family, so I did. Thankfully she has a very rare name and her son turned out to be listed in the phonebook. It took maybe five minutes to inform him, he arrived in less than an hour (10-15mins drive time).

It may be a good and welcome idea to contact the family actively, if possible. For example, he may forget to take important medication or take too much.
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