My daughter who is 4 1/2, goes to a Kita in Zürich. Sometimes she acts a bit childish let’s say when they have to sleep after lunch or lie down to rest. Last time when she was being loud in the sleeping area, a girl who works there called her a drama queen. And that she is acting like a baby. The Kita is German speaking by the way. Is it just me or do others also find it slightly shocking that your child gets called drama queen, by a Kita worker?! My daughter can’t stop talking about it and was upset. Maybe I am just a sensitive soul, but I don’t like it at all. I would like to hear a second opinion, because this really bothers me. Or maybe the Kitas here are just crap most of them.

I wouldn't call Kitas crap but there are certainly some people who need more training. Talk to the employee and tell her the consequences of her words. If that doesn't work, talk to the manager of the Kita.

Communication is key here in order to find a solution.

Edit: Just a tip, make sure you're not a drama queen yourself when speaking to the employee but instead, be a role model of good communication.

I agree with Olygirls advice, but I would also add if you are unhappy with her care (niggling feeling, intuition, evidence etc) in my experiece the best thing to do is go about changing it. This is my experience in any case.

Although I agree with the advice of having a word with the relevant person, I would also suggest talking to your daughter about her behaviour.

At four and a half she's old enough to understand that she was disturbing the other children and what quiet/sleep time means; it sounds like this is not the first time she's done it and that the assistant snapped.

Says the drama queen.

Tom

If your daughter took it that badly, you should definitely engage there to see what happened, the kita view and is it a one off or a real issue. Kids get over things usually very quickly, unless it's traumatizing. Kids also regress from time to time when growing up - a normal child carer would appreciate that.

A comment in general about Switzerland though, kids are expected to be self sufficient and "law abiding" pretty early one. Take my youngest, she walks on her own to kindergarden from when she was just 4 crossing several major roads (with other kids on the way). And she tells me they get no help once there with jackets, rain trousers or shoes or anything, nor the loo. They have to do all themselves - I guess they start to learn this already when at Kita.

"Drama Queen" isn't necessarily an insult, it would depend very much how it was said. Maybe you should have a gentle conversation with your daughter, that if she doesn't like having her behaviour called out, she should change it?

I didn't have to walk to school on my own at 4 1/2 in the UK, but I could definitely take myself to the toilet and dress myself, including tying my tie - something my husband is unable to do in his 40s

This.

@OP,

I don't agree with a child being called "drama queen", as innocuous as it seems to us, adults. Some staff definitely needs more training, it's not an easy job and people fall victim of their own frustrations. You should have a word with them, politely and calmly. If you don't like their style you can look for other place, I don't agree with waiting for repairs indefinitely, childhood is too short. On the other hand be aware that your parenting style might differ greatly from local expectations.

Personally I'd be horrified if my child was stopping all the other children from sleeping - and as a consequence, stopping the Kita workers from having their well-deserved, and legally-entitled lunch break.

Rather than trying to find fault with the Kita, I'd be working out a way to apologise to them for my child's behaviour and additionally, I'd have a strong word with the child, telling them that their unruly behaviour was unacceptable.

There are kids who don't sleep at noon, therefore not all of the Krippe workers have lunch at the same hour.

Wow, this is a real example of a knee-jerk thread, saying they are "awful people". Even nice and normal people say the wrong things occasionally when under stress and currently you only have the version of the story of a 4 year old child, which is usually not enough to build a complete understanding of the context behind the situation without hearing the other side. It's likely that your child reacted more to the sharp disciplinary tone of the kita worker than actually being called a drama queen (would she even know what it means?). A child disturbing the nap of all of the other kids during a quiet time when they need to rest and recharge is no excuse for the kita worker behaving badly, but it is also understandably going to be stressing her out.

Go and raise your concerns and see what happens.

This happened to my older child...not the same word but similar. I did not think it was appropriate. Other kids heard and started calling her the same.

In parenting books I've read about being wary of labeling kids....the "smart" one, the "difficult" one, etc, as that can affect their behavior and make them feel they need to live up to their label whether good or bad.


You can try to talk to them, but don't have any expectations....sometimes you have to pick your battles here...
just read other comment about different cultural and parenting styles, and we very much feel that to be true.

I know. All three of mine went to Kita.

I also know that the children who stay awake at lunchtime get looked after by some of the staff while the others have their lunch break.
I also know that young kids, who stay awake all day, can be pretty grouchy and overtired in the afternoon, evening.

For some kids, who get dropped off at 7.30am and picked up at 18.00, that's a heck of a long day.

A drama-queen might not be the worst of the names kids get called through out their schooling. The day-care person was obviously frustrated. I'd see to why and what is expected of your daughter in order to benefit from the day-care better. Name-calling can definitely start bullying, even if the day-care worker hadn't realized. I've corrected some terminology a few times (of a teacher), even during a parent-teacher meetings. I think it is a valuable feedback from the parents to the personnel. "I will supervise my child in her adjustment in return for you stopping calling my kid names"? It's worth to talk unofficially to the employee as oposed to making it a big deal with the supervisors.

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What is 'drama queen' in German?

Most people use drama queen in German as well. Maybe a compound word with "Gör" for the older people: hysterisches Gör.

To me as native Swiss German speaker, drama queen is not such a bad word. I told my children not to act like one, once or twice.

Reminds me how our son once was told in school "you are smarter than you look" by a teacher. Not in Switzerland though. I thought it was funny.

here they say things like "don't act more dim-witted than you are".

It is also telling that you call the Kita worker a "girl" when complaining how she allegedly was being disrespectful to your kid.

If you are a sensitive soul, you might also want to be sensitive about the children who are trying to take their naps?

If some kids and babies don't nap when they should, they become very tired and difficult later in the day, which makes it difficult for the Kita staff and then everyone else (including the parents later).

I think you should speak to the Kita staff. If your daughter does not want to take a nap, she can probably still play quietly somewhere else and maybe with the older kids from other groups.

And maybe your daughter is not used to being told off? If your daughter is disturbing the other kids during the nap time, then it is right that she is told off. But of course, there are nice ways of telling someone they've done something wrong.

Just because your daughter was told off for being a "drama queen" does not mean that the Kita is crap. If my daughter was throwing a tantrum and preventing the other children from napping, I would be horrified! And I would definitely expect the staff to tell her off so that she could learn to behave appropriately.