Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Complaints corner  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:45
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Zug
Posts: 47
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 36 Times in 9 Posts
Icephrys has no particular reputation at present
We are not all mail-order brides!

Is anyone else in a "mixed" relationship? Last night I was at a shopping centre with my Swiss partner and was given dirty looks by (actually they looked Yugoslavian?) two women for no apparent reason. Then there are stares, peoples' eyes literally popping out as you enter a restaurant and the people who stop talking as soon as you walk into a shop etc. Does this happen to anyone else? For the first few weeks I brushed it off and figured it was just my own projections or whatever, but its happened so often that it is becoming *slightly* annoying, which ruins the experience of my boyfriend and I going out etc.

I know that mixed couples are not so common around Luzern, and people are bound to stare etc. Coming from multi-cultural Australia though, makes it SO weird for me to experience this. Anyone own a t-shirt printing business? Perhaps I could get a I AM NOT A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE top in German.

Thanks people for letting me rant.
Reply With Quote
The following 10 users would like to thank Icephrys for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:50
Tilia's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: ZH
Posts: 2,746
Groaned at 75 Times in 42 Posts
Thanked 2,649 Times in 1,194 Posts
Tilia has a reputation beyond reputeTilia has a reputation beyond reputeTilia has a reputation beyond reputeTilia has a reputation beyond reputeTilia has a reputation beyond reputeTilia has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

People tend to stare a lot in CH. Not saying that you aren't right in your suspicions, you probably are. Just to say that all people here that are slightly out of the norm gets stared at.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Tilia for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:51
dakman's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NYC (heart is split between Switzerland and the Big Apple)
Posts: 1,872
Groaned at 4 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 901 Times in 543 Posts
dakman has a reputation beyond reputedakman has a reputation beyond reputedakman has a reputation beyond reputedakman has a reputation beyond reputedakman has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

I often find Switzerland a unique mix of small town mentality and cosmopolitianism. Partly, maybe because the small villages are very close geographically to the cosmopolitian centers like Zurich

Using a US analogy, it is as if the people from Wasilla, Alaska lived in the suburbs of Manahattan.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank dakman for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:52
swissmissinzurich's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 22
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
swissmissinzurich has no particular reputation at present
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

I also grew up in Perth and am Asian-Aussie and have a Swiss-Italian boyfriend, but we are living in Zurich

We haven't received that type of treatment while I have been here, but then again, I probably don't notice it cos Im too busy having a good time with my boy.

Don't worry - they are probably just admiring what a beautiful couple you are. It's better to be unique I think. I like the fact that I am so different looking here in Switzerland.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank swissmissinzurich for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:53
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: zürich
Posts: 3,194
Groaned at 105 Times in 79 Posts
Thanked 3,987 Times in 1,625 Posts
i-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Don't take it personally. It's been discussed on the forum before and it seems that it's simply a case of the Swiss love to stare. Apparently there are even differing styles of stares, from the out and out, just staring for the fun of it to the crazy old man stares that follow your every move.
It's been suggested that the person being stared at might be the hottest thing the starer has seen in many a long year, and some have told tales of trying to stare down their eyeballer.
It's all anecdotal of course but the crux of the matter is that yes, we all get stared at, regardless of race, creed, clothing or colour. Just don't let it upset you.
PS, Loath as I am to tell you this, the staring dicussion can be found on the "are the swiss racist" thread, which thank lob, has been closed now.
__________________
Shark wisdom: A swimmer in the sea is worth ten on the beach.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank i-b-deborah for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:56
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 7,619
Groaned at 416 Times in 279 Posts
Thanked 17,921 Times in 5,540 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

A mixed marriage is indeed unique in Switzerland. It takes a long time for a Swiss to get used to something new. I'm afraid you may have to deal with these kind of looks for some time before the stigma of a mixed marriage settles.

Deep down inside, many Swiss are a bit racist without even realizing it, mainly because they've never had to personally deal with the issue.

By staying strong and making Swiss friends, you'll help pave the way for a more open-minded Switzerland.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank olygirl for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:57
Ebony's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 244
Groaned at 82 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 131 Times in 70 Posts
Ebony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthy
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Hi. I'm Indian married to a Scandinavian. Most of the people assume that my husbands Swiss and that I've married him for his Swiss passport. I've been asked a couple of times where I was imported from??? I'm sorry to say but the Swiss are really racist in this aspect (you cant blame them really-they're ignorant, zenophobic and not very well educated-so this kind of behaviour is to be expected).
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Ebony for this useful post:
The following 9 users groan at Ebony for this post:
  #8  
Old 25.09.2008, 15:59
swissotter's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ZH
Posts: 2,303
Groaned at 10 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 3,431 Times in 1,408 Posts
swissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
Hi. I'm Indian married to a Scandinavian. Most of the people assume that my husbands Swiss and that I've married him for his Swiss passport. I've been asked a couple of times where I was imported from??? I'm sorry to say but the Swiss are really racist in this aspect (you cant blame them really-they're ignorant, zenophobic and not very well educated-so this kind of behaviour is to be expected).
i hope you aren't trying to start a "swiss are racist" thread again (also here)...pls don't
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank swissotter for this useful post:
This user groans at swissotter for this post:
  #9  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:00
swissmissinzurich's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 22
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
swissmissinzurich has no particular reputation at present
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
now i just tell myself they stare at me 'cos i am so gorgeous!
Yes I agree - we are simply just gorgeous and that's why they stare. I know I stare (without realising it) at beautiful people but that's because I'm just in awe.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank swissmissinzurich for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:01
Ebony's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 244
Groaned at 82 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 131 Times in 70 Posts
Ebony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthy
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

my apologies wasnt planning on starting a racist thread, just stating facts....
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Ebony for this useful post:
The following 2 users groan at Ebony for this post:
  #11  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:06
vwild1
 
Posts: n/a
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Don't let other's narrow mindedness get you down.

I used to have a Japanese girl friend (I'm of European decent), she's lived in Lausanne some 25 years already and speaks nearly perfect French. The two of us once went into a police station to ask a question. Since my French consists of only a dozen words naturally she did all of the talking. Despite me not uttering a single word both officers (1 male, 1 female) stood there looking directly at me and answering all the questions asked by my girlfriend as if she wasn't even there..! We figured they must have thought that I was the French Swiss man and she was my illiterate Asian friend. After going outside we both had to laugh about it all and how ridiculous they made themselves look.
Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank for this useful post:
This user groans at for this post:
  #12  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:08
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Once a woman in the breakfast hall of a rural B&B stared at me for so long (after I looked up again, she was still staring) that I finally waved at her with a smile. She then realised what she was doing and continued breakfasting with a half-embarrassed smile.

Forget the "I'm not a mail order bride" mentality. You know who you are, and so does your partner. People look because they find you interesting or different or exotic. For all they know, you are richer and better educated than your poor partner, or the other way around. It doesn't matter. Enjoy being unusual.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #13  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:09
swissotter's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: ZH
Posts: 2,303
Groaned at 10 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 3,431 Times in 1,408 Posts
swissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
Don't let other's narrow mindedness get you down.

I used to have a Japanese girl friend (I'm of European decent), she's lived in Lausanne some 25 years already and speaks nearly perfect French. The two of us once went into a police station to ask a question. Since my French consists of only a dozen words naturally she did all of the talking. Despite me not uttering a single word both officers (1 male, 1 female) stood there looking directly at me and answering all the questions asked by my girlfriend as if she wasn't even there..! We figured they must have thought that I was the French Swiss man and she was my illiterate Asian friend. After going outside we both had to laugh about it all and how ridiculous they made themselves look.
this has happened so many times with me in asia and in other places.
as i learnt french in school and now i know semi-decent german , i sometimes snigger when ppl think i don't understand them.
a caucausian friend of mine speaks fluent japanese and he always overhears rude comments about him when he is in japan, little do they know he understands every word!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:09
HTD's Avatar
HTD HTD is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Zollikerberg
Posts: 792
Groaned at 26 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 595 Times in 317 Posts
HTD has a reputation beyond reputeHTD has a reputation beyond reputeHTD has a reputation beyond reputeHTD has a reputation beyond reputeHTD has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

It's quite simple: Swiss women are afflicted by an allergic reaction to certain precious metals - particularly sensitive is the 3rd finger of each hand - which results in increased frequency and intensity of headaches and a a bio-rythm aligned with the sun.

With this in mind you are perfectly equipped to analyse the emotions on each parties staring face.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:10
Ebony's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 244
Groaned at 82 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 131 Times in 70 Posts
Ebony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthyEbony is considered unworthy
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
Don't let other's narrow mindedness get you down.

I used to have a Japanese girl friend (I'm of European decent), she's lived in Lausanne some 25 years already and speaks nearly perfect French. The two of us once went into a police station to ask a question. Since my French consists of only a dozen words naturally she did all of the talking. Despite me not uttering a single word both officers (1 male, 1 female) stood there looking directly at me and answering all the questions asked by my girlfriend as if she wasn't even there..! We figured they must have thought that I was the French Swiss man and she was my illiterate Asian friend. After going outside we both had to laugh about it all and how ridiculous they made themselves look.
I've had that happen to my hubby and me more times than I care to remember. I speak fluent german and his german isnt that great.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:11
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: zürich
Posts: 3,194
Groaned at 105 Times in 79 Posts
Thanked 3,987 Times in 1,625 Posts
i-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond reputei-b-deborah has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

That should goes for everyone!
Quote:
View Post
......Forget the "I'm not a mail order bride" mentality. You know who you are, and so does your partner......
Argus? didn't recognise you there pet!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:13
Swiss Cheddar's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Zug
Posts: 2,139
Groaned at 40 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 3,047 Times in 1,239 Posts
Swiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

If i do see a guy in his late 60's holding hands with an asian lady in her 20's the first thing that springs to mind is 'mail order bride'. I am not particually fussed about it either way, as long as they are both happy.

Admittedly i do stare, but it not out of shock or disgust, more more intrigue/comedy value.

If anyone is bored you can check out this site: NSFW
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:21
cremebrulee's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 437
Groaned at 14 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 389 Times in 170 Posts
cremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputation
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
I also grew up in Perth and am Asian-Aussie and have a Swiss-Italian boyfriend, but we are living in Zurich

We haven't received that type of treatment while I have been here, but then again, I probably don't notice it cos Im too busy having a good time with my boy.

Don't worry - they are probably just admiring what a beautiful couple you are. It's better to be unique I think. I like the fact that I am so different looking here in Switzerland.
Wow - I could have written exactly the same response! Except my guy is not Swiss-Italian ...

I think it is rather interesting that you assume that these people are staring at you because they think you may be a mail-order bride. What makes you feel that way?
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:24
Swiss Cheddar's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Zug
Posts: 2,139
Groaned at 40 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 3,047 Times in 1,239 Posts
Swiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond reputeSwiss Cheddar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
I think it is rather interesting that you assume that these people are staring at you because they think you may be a mail-order bride. What makes you feel that way?

Good point, Icephrys might just be hot....or maybe even they are thinking, why is this woman staring at me?


As already stated, nothing beats giving them a huge grin and waving.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 25.09.2008, 16:26
cremebrulee's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 437
Groaned at 14 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 389 Times in 170 Posts
cremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputationcremebrulee has an excellent reputation
Re: We are not all mail-order brides!

Quote:
View Post
If i do see a guy in his late 60's holding hands with an asian lady in her 20's the first thing that springs to mind is 'mail order bride'. I am not particually fussed about it either way, as long as they are both happy.
Definitely when there is a noticeable age gap between the Caucasian guy and the Asian woman, I can understand that people may stereotype the woman as a "mail order bride".

But where both parties are relatively close in age, it's more likely to be seen as a modern, mixed relationship.
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Swiss Farmers Shirt by Mail Order? EdF Other/general 18 16.09.2008 23:12
New Mail Service for Expats, Earth Class Mail jmiddlebrook Other/general 3 31.03.2008 23:36
Cheapest way to mail to US wah Other/general 0 08.11.2007 20:53
Mail on saturdays? moula Daily life 9 11.08.2007 19:32
Does your mail disappear? Jarlsberg2 Complaints corner 23 12.06.2007 17:05


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 03:40.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0