We were returning from a lovely day out in Basel with friends and got a crowded tram. My 3 year old was in good spirits & started stroking a teenage lads arm & asked if he would marry her. He took this in good spirits & played along to the delight of other passengers who made remarks "herzig" "suss" etc.

At the next stop, we moved down the carriage & my daughter then did the same thing to a man in bowler hat. I immediately told her to stop & said not everyone liked it but as he had smiled didn't go too overboard. She did it again
and he turned to me in english and hissed "if your daughter does this again I will hit her"!

I think I am more upset because just moments earlier I had told my friends how I love the fact so many swiss think nothing of telling you to put a hat on your child etc. which I think creates one big community with everyone looking out for your children, regardless how annoying it is at the time.

But to have someone physically threaten my 3 year old??? I know this has happened to a friend as well. I am really struggling with this as I am trying so hard to integrate & I did respond to this chap in german.

I hope you told him just where to get off

Yeah, it's not like the parisians would *ever* do that, is it.

This is NOT typically swiss... this is typically GRUMPY OLD MAN. Nothing else.

OP: I am sorry to hear you've had to experience this. Next time, fix the man with a bright smile, and while smiling, tell him either: a) "if you dare, just beware I have witnesses and your actions would land you in jail." or b) "would you like a to receive a kick in your crown jewels?"

At any rate, as you experienced with the other kid on the bus usually people are friendly and tolerant to kids.

Or you could go with....
Yeah, it's not like bankers would *ever* do that, is it.

You should have told him that that would be last thing that he would hit before he hit the ground, in the friendliest kindest voice possible.

You just have to accept that there are people like this all over the world; although threatening violence is a bit off. I think I would have said "You just try it, mate..."

I saw a poor little boy of about 3 or 4 get catapulted down the aisle of a busy tram a couple of weeks ago when the tram driver slammed the brakes on, bloodying his nose on the corner of one of the seats. His mum was totally shocked and just froze but the woman nearest to the boy picked up her Migros bag of food, stepped over the now hysterical child and headed for the nearest door.

It was such raw heartlessness that it made a few people surrounding the incident mutter under their breath as they righted this poor kid and carried him back to his mum.

Feel? No. Act? Yes.

Maybe your father was too typically swiss when you were young.

Are you sure the man said "hit her" and not "hit on her"? While the latter action is also reprehensible and possibly liable to prosecution, it does not involve physical violence and so deserves maybe a different response.

Dreadful experience and I'm sure it left a bitter aftertaste on your otherwise lovely day. Try not to dwell on it, don't let it spoil the memory of your fine day. There are unfortunately ar$eholes around that seem to have forgotten that they were once children. Ihope you told him in no uncertain terms that if he laid a finger on your child he'd be in deep trouble.

There are grumpy and mean people everywhere. No need to dwell on it.

I'm so sorry this happened to you Twiglet. Your little girl sounds like a sweetheart. I can't even imagine what I would have done to that guy.

I know you are just trying to be amusing, but personally I don't find this very funny at all, considering we are talking about a three year old.

To the OP, I think you say whatever you feel is justified to make it clear to the guy that there is no way he should lay a hand on your child. But I agree with previous comments that there are people like this all over the world. In general, when travelling with my three year old I've found people to be very tolerant and supportive. But there will always be those who are intolerant of kids, having a bad day, or whatever. Either ignore them or let them know where you stand, whichever you feel is the most suitable response, given that it's your child.

Don't let this stop you and your family enjoying Switzerland.

Kate

It's odd how parents seem to think that the rest of the world finds their offspring the most wonderful, intelligent little charmer that everyone will fall in love with at first sight.

While in your opinion your daughter was able to "delight" other passengers, I don't appreciate being prodded by sticky-fingered children on public transport either. You told her to stop, so you weren't crazy about her actions. She ignored you.

She picked the wrong grumpy guy this time. Maybe it will stop her talking to and touching strangers.

I don't expect any parent to agree with me, but I have little sympathy here...

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I think the man meant, I will slap her, in a sens of like the generation who slapped their kids for bad behavior ...
(... this is in no way an excuse of course, but this is how some of the old Swiss man are !!!)

I agree with you that it should definitely work both ways. Either way though, a suggestion or actual action of violence is inexcusable, whether it's the kid or the adult initiating it. I just think that for an adult to threaten a little kid, whether there was some cause or not, is not the best way to go about letting the parent know you don't want the kid near you.

Kate

It's way too often that the parents allow their children to roam freely around without any control and let them do anything they like: buses, trams, restaurants, shops, etc. They expect that all the people will be happy with that. Well most of the people is not happy with that, but very few will tell that they are not happy. And when they do - parent takes it as an offence.

Some of the parents tend to lose their common sense when it comes to their children and allow them to do things they would otherwise condemn if the child was a stranger.

I'm not a parent and I don't particularly like children, but the guy's reaction was excessive, any way you slice it. There is no reason not to be polite unless the person's (and in this case, a little kid's) actions are blatantly malicious. This being a good way for her to learn a lesson seems a bit machiavelian, even for me.

It is a good point but would you threaten to hit a child? I think that is the point of the thread. If the OP had experienced some old fart telling her to keep her daughter's hands to herself and leave him alone, she wouldn't find it significant enough to post (I'm guessing) but the fact he hissed at her that he would hit a three year old was outrageous.

Yes, I'm a mum of a little angel that does no wrong () but even I get piffed off with other kids' feet trampling over mine or them sitting almost on top of me on the tram or them yelling their little lungs out but I wouldn't tell their mums that I'd take a swipe at them them if they didn't stop.

OMG to tell a complete stranger he will hit her 3 year old daughter is awful i am sorry you had to go through that if someone threatened 1 of my children they would be in for a shock as no-one will hurt one of my children they would have to get past me first. My daughter loves attention, and i am guessing lots of children do, and your daughter was only trying to be nice and friendly she did not deserve the response she got. If he did not like it he could of just said please could you ask your daughter to stop. I think he was to aggressive with his reaction.

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