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Old 22.09.2010, 14:59
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Outragous Gardner!

The other day I was sitting in my garden reading, whilst a neighbour had a gardener around mowing her grass. When the mower stopped I could hear some rustling noises coming from nearby and I was amazed to see the guy emptying his grass box over our fence and into some trees at the end of our garden. I shouted at him in my very poor French 'Oi, don't throw your waste there you ignorant count!' it was loud so there was no excuse for him not to understand me, but he just smiled and acted like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.
I obviously need to learn some strong insults to use on idiots like this in the future. He was of the French speaking type and I even tried. 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries' but he just shrugged his shoulders. Any good suggestions please, I'll sift out the asterisks.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:02
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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The other day I was sitting in my garden reading, whilst a neighbour had a gardener around mowing her grass. When the mower stopped I could hear some rustling noises coming from nearby and I was amazed to see the guy emptying his grass box over our fence and into some trees at the end of our garden. I shouted at him in my very poor French 'Oi, don't throw your waste there you ignorant count!' it was loud so there was no excuse for him not to understand me, but he just smiled and acted like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.
I obviously need to learn some strong insults to use on idiots like this in the future. He was of the French speaking type and I even tried. 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries' but he just shrugged his shoulders. Any good suggestions please, I'll sift out the asterisks.
Just pick the cuttings up and dump it on your neighbour's front porch. Your job is not to monitor workers, but the people who employ them (i.e. your neighbour). Your neighbour should then fix the problem.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:03
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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The other day I was sitting in my garden reading, whilst a neighbour had a gardener around mowing her grass. When the mower stopped I could hear some rustling noises coming from nearby and I was amazed to see the guy emptying his grass box over our fence and into some trees at the end of our garden. I shouted at him in my very poor French 'Oi, don't throw your waste there you ignorant count!' it was loud so there was no excuse for him not to understand me, but he just smiled and acted like it was a perfectly normal thing to do.
I obviously need to learn some strong insults to use on idiots like this in the future. He was of the French speaking type and I even tried. 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries' but he just shrugged his shoulders. Any good suggestions please, I'll sift out the asterisks.
Pick it up & put it in their mailbox.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:06
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Write them a strongly worded letter. It's the Swiss way.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:06
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Write them a strongly worded letter. It's the Swiss way.
don't forget to get an official looking stamp on it too
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:07
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

or you can just tell your neighbor about this. i'm sure they'll be just as surprised as you were.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:09
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Casse toi sale espece de petite enculer! Si non je vais t'arracher la tete et chier dans ton gorge!

That should get things started.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:10
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Thanks for the suggestions and had he not lent over and collected up the grass eventually, after an argument I would have taken it around to his house. The neighbour was out, so I took down the registration number of his van and checked out his address on the web. It's a cool system in situations like this.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:11
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Start mowing your lawn and repeat what he did to you...if the neighbour asks, just tell him that you thought it is how things are normally done here -message passed
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:13
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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The neighbour was out, so I took down the registration number of his van and checked out his address on the web. It's a cool system in situations like this.
Post it here and we can all send/take him some grass cuttings. I've got some half rotten clippings that I'd like to get rid of.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:14
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Thanks for the suggestions and had he not lent over and collected up the grass eventually, after an argument I would have taken it around to his house. The neighbour was out, so I took down the registration number of his van and checked out his address on the web. It's a cool system in situations like this.
Now all you need is a paper bag, matches and some dog poo.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:14
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Casse toi sale espece de petite enculer! Si non je vais t'arracher la tete et chier dans ton gorge!

That should get things started.
I had to check this out on Google translate. Brilliant and just the sort of answer that I was looking for. Has much more weight than writing a letter too.
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:26
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Casse toi sale espece de petite enculer! Si non je vais t'arracher la tete et chier dans ton gorge!

That should get things started.
Not sure about the accuracy there

For future reference I can heartily recommend this book to aid in "sounding" like a local...



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Old 22.09.2010, 15:32
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Not sure about the accuracy there

For future reference I can heartily recommend this book to aid in "sounding" like a local...


That was my main language reference book when I moved here! But working with blue collar types from Marseilles, Nante, Normandy, Nice, and from around Pontarlier/Besancon in addition to the farmer Swiss mountain guys I developed my own brand of mots de cinq lettres .
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:43
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

balance ta merde ailleurs ou je vais foutre des patates dans ton pot d'échappement espèce de bouffon de jardinié on t'a jamais appris à utilisé un compost ou ce que c'était une poubelle?

yeah you go and tell 'em what's up!
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Old 22.09.2010, 15:52
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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don't forget to get an official looking stamp on it too
... and sent it Einschreiben. That will teach them.
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Old 22.09.2010, 16:05
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Write them a strongly worded letter. It's the Swiss way.
Nah. I would call the police.
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Old 22.09.2010, 20:35
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

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Nah. I would call the police.
Are you just being spiteful because someone did that to you?
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Old 22.09.2010, 21:23
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Chère Madame,
Par la présente je vous informe que je vais poser plainte contre votre ouvrier auprès des autorités et de la commune.
Je suis navré de constater que votre jardinier se permet de se débarrasser de ses détriments dans mon jardin. Malgré mes demandes répétées de nettoyer ses déchets, il a refusé de réparer les dommages. Je ne peux que constater avec effroi, l’étendu de des dégâts.
Je vous prie d’en prendre bien note et de faire le nécessaire afin que cela ne se reproduise plus.
Chère Madame, je vous prie d’agréer, mes salutations distinguées.

maybe ?
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Old 22.09.2010, 21:27
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Re: Outragous Gardner!

Just be aware that the neighbor may not have any idea what the gardener is up to either.
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