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  #121  
Old 05.01.2011, 10:03
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

Diggdog,

did you come up with any date/friend after all these?

how old are you by the way? i have a lonely friend...
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  #122  
Old 05.01.2011, 10:50
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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I need some advice from any wise men and women from the East (well, most of you are east of where I am in Yorkshire).

I am newly single again (seperated 3 months ago but marriage problems stretching back a couple of years).

I move to a place near Rapperswil next week to start a new job in CH . (following my own little star)

It's looks a bit far from Zurich to engage in the regular social scene (I guess?) and it's a bit rural. Naturally I am worried about being isolated socially, although I may get to know some people through work.

I'd really like to do some dating but I'm a bit rusty after 10 years off the 'scene' (not that I was ever on the scene!!) and a bit wary of the dating websites having never done that before.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a bit concerned about the frequency at which i might meet attractive, intelligent, humorous women! Will it be frequently or seldom? Will I have to endure dozens of internet-generated dates with mutually incompatible people? If they are Swiss will they find some of the sames things funny and will they tolerate my lack of either swiss german of high german (for now)?


I just don't have a feel for how difficult or easy it will be for me compared to the UK - and I don't even know how that rates as I haven't really been out and about here for a while (just working in a company with 270 men and 14 women!)

So, if you have any advice can you let me know??

Diggdog
Diggdog

Maybe it's just a case of getting yourself established here first.
Rappi isn't a bad place - esp in summer. Zurich is not that far away on public transport - which is good , regular and doesn't smell of piss ...

As mentioned in a previous thread there are a few of us in the Oberland - around the Hinwil area. Come to Pirates ( which has to be seen to be believed) or Route 66

No matter what anyone says, CH is not an easy place top settle into , esp as a single person.
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  #123  
Old 05.01.2011, 19:51
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

Am in a similar situation as you and can suggest that you join Glocals. I originally joined simply to expand my network/meet new people and was amazed at how many chats and "friends" I suddenly had once I posted a photo They claim NOT to be a dating forum, but ah-em, I would beg to differ (if that's what you're interested in). Anyway, they have good events in ZH...
Good luck!
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  #124  
Old 05.01.2011, 21:23
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

7 pages and not 1 single date
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  #125  
Old 05.01.2011, 21:34
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

Haven't read the whole thread, but why not try a local sporting group? Some of your Swiss team-mates would surely have single sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, daughters ... or join a co-ed activity, and chat up team-mates directly!
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  #126  
Old 05.01.2011, 21:36
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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Haven't read the whole thread, but why not try a local sporting group? Some of your Swiss team-mates would surely have single sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, daughters ... or join a co-ed activity, and chat up team-mates directly!
^^What he / she said....find anyone who have a single sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, daughters, mums, grandma.....even a female cat would do for the moment
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  #127  
Old 05.01.2011, 21:54
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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^^What he / she said....find anyone who have a single sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, daughters, mums, grandma.....even a female cat would do for the moment
Haha!! Say what!? This thread is guaranteed for some really good laughs!!!
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  #128  
Old 05.01.2011, 21:59
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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Haha!! Say what!? This thread is guaranteed for some really good laughs!!!
You're mostly welcome....come visit it us everyday....we're always up for a good laugh around here
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  #129  
Old 06.01.2011, 00:54
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

Diggdog

You've got some fine inputs here, and a fair smattering of good humor (not to mention the generous offer from epag).

But I realize that stepping into a room full of strangers can be a daunting prospect. I'm going out on Saturday evening, and would be happy to take you along and introduce you to everyone I know ... I am in the Thalwil area, so on your way to town.

PM me if interested.
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  #130  
Old 06.01.2011, 17:19
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

try TT nights
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  #131  
Old 06.01.2011, 17:37
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

Sorry to be a bit of a wet blanket, but in your situ, newly separated after a long marriage, I would advise you to concentrate on making friends first and foremost rather than jumping into dating on the rebound. Give yourself a chance to heal - it's probably not fair on you or your date until you have. My 15-year marriage fell apart in August and I've been officially separated for a month now, so I know somewhat wot of I speak
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  #132  
Old 10.01.2011, 08:34
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Yep, of course I did that in the first instance. No harm in starting another thread that's a variation on the theme though is there?

It seems to be a popular topic judging by the number of posts on this topic in the forum, so either it's a vibrant part of the social culture in CH or it's a source of frustration to many EF'ers!
its not frustration, its like mozza once said: im human and i need to be loved. i find the %age of "lonely expats" is higher than expats in rel.ships with swiss girls. i tried 2 of them and being german understanding swiss german is/was an advantage. but tbh: i give in! i returned to german girl(s) and im happy! all i can say is that superficial ch-women do exist but are not the norm. i strongly believe it depends on where you go ( in zurich): indochine-st.germain-kaufleuten has more (and many rural) chicks spotting ferrari keys than maybe el local. so there is no fixed stereotype. there is a german "saying": wer fi*ken will muss freundlich sein" and i found that to be true globally. so be nice, and see what comes your way. good luck!
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  #133  
Old 10.01.2011, 08:54
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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"wer fi*ken will muss freundlich sein"
Err... lucky half of the EF won't understand this!
And my colleagues assure me it's not really a German saying!
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  #134  
Old 10.01.2011, 10:30
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

are they german? where from? posemuckel?
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  #135  
Old 10.01.2011, 10:40
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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are they german? where from? posemuckel?
maybe they just don't listen to the same music as you

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  #136  
Old 10.01.2011, 23:21
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

I am late to this debate and didn't read the full thread but I will agree with this post and tell you what I can summary of all my years in Switzerland living and observing expat dating and relationships with swiss/other expats. Keep in mind this is a generalisation so many exceptions for sure occur.

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Welcoem to CH and the forum. You'll find that Rapperwil is fairly close to Zurich for going out.
As for dating, in my personal experience it a matter of meeting any women it very tough, let alone attractive, intelligent and humorous ones.
All my female friends say the same thing. All the women want here is a Really hot, Really Rich, Male partner. It's just that simple. If you don't fall in that catagory, it won't be the easiest feat in the world.

But good luck eitherway

Is my conclusion that as Love_Doctor said, it is the same game but with different rules, but I find that you as an expat are not playing here in "fair ground".

The thing is the locals ( Swiss or born/grew up here ) have a pronounced sense of superiority towards foreigners, they are convinced they are superior due to their culture/order/money/neutrality or whathever and that's why all these foreigners come here to.

So to qualify for them, as a friend/colleage and even more as a romantic partner you have to be of high standard.

higher that the standard they could expect to get on a co-national.

now "higher standard" means many things to many people, but it could be resumed as younger/prettier/stronger/richer/funnier/wittier/more-attractive as a local.

Off course this depends on their own perception of what is better. for example a swiss woman that likes southamerica will like me most that one that doesn't care about, the same a woman who likes english culture will find you much more interesting than another that not.

But in conclusion they will want you to be much better that what they can get. They will be more demanding with you that what they are with a guy/girl from their village.

After all, don't you see all those couples of old bald and fat guys with hot cuban/romanian/thai women ? Or those older ladies with young and muscled african/dominican boys ?

So why they will settle for an standard guy that actually fits them ? If you are a foreigner they want more.

And for me there lies the problem for many expats.

You simply find that the women that on your country of origin would be a good match and or be usually interested on you, here simply have no interest at all, or they are looking for a local guy with similar characteristics, or for a foreigner that excedes largely that.

That is the problem also from the other side, if you are a foreigner trying to get a partner here under those conditions, that means you have to settle for a woman below what you could aspire at home.

And I am not talking purely about physical attractive or money, I am talking about culture, personality, professional aspects, activities, savoir-vivre etc. etc.

So the way seems to be to frequent other expats for friendship/love ?

Yes that could be the answer, but you better get her/him when he is freshly arrived because I see expats become gradually the same as locals on that aspect.

or they come on temporary stays, so you invest yourself on friendship or relationships that doesn't last long.

( In my particular case, as I come from southamerica, sadly many people coming from there are more into Passport-hunting than other thing.)

Food for thought to elicit debate.... what do you think about ?
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  #137  
Old 10.01.2011, 23:47
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

In terms of advice and differing approaches, the OP is set for life . . .

Never knew this whole shebang could get sooooooooo complicated, not to mention scientific . . .

Am left wondering whatever happened to the good ole fashioned ways of looking at dating and relationships or have things just moved on without me . . .
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  #138  
Old 11.01.2011, 00:00
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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So to qualify for them, as a friend/colleage and even more as a romantic partner you have to be of high standard.
I think that is the lesser problem.

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Never knew this whole shebang could get sooooooooo complicated, not to mention scientific . . .
Then sit back and enjoy:

The greater problem is finding someone that you want to date. From my experience, from the set of available girls (single, right age range) you'd probably consider dating only around 5% of them and then half of those would be eliminated on first date or pre-first date. So you need to filter around 120 potentials to get 6 date candidates.

Given the population and age structure of Zurich, I worked out that there were, at most, 20000 girls in my 'potential' pool (assuming half are single) giving a dateable pool of 1000 of which 500 would make it past the first date.
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  #139  
Old 11.01.2011, 10:03
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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its not frustration, its like mozza once said: im human and i need to be loved. i find the %age of "lonely expats" is higher than expats in rel.ships with swiss girls. i tried 2 of them and being german understanding swiss german is/was an advantage. but tbh: i give in! i returned to german girl(s) and im happy! all i can say is that superficial ch-women do exist but are not the norm. i strongly believe it depends on where you go ( in zurich): indochine-st.germain-kaufleuten has more (and many rural) chicks spotting ferrari keys than maybe el local. so there is no fixed stereotype. there is a german "saying": wer fi*ken will muss freundlich sein" and i found that to be true globally. so be nice, and see what comes your way. good luck!
he also said "I know I'm unlovable, you don't have to tell me"
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  #140  
Old 11.01.2011, 10:15
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Re: Meeting New Friends and Dating

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hmm sounds a bit daunting. Surely they're not all goldiggers?
No, we just don't want to earn / own more than our partners. Experience tells us that men always end up resenting this, feeling a bit superfluous. He should also be smarter and know how to make fire in the woods. Think Indiana Jones.

But to be honest, there are actually quite a few types of Swiss women and they all go for a very different type of guy. So to say that you have no chance as an expat is wrong, you have to choose where you hang out. Some women think there is nothing more exciting than someone who is "not a boring, spoilt Swiss guy".

ETA: Tall and likes cats, you say? Begga, your loss.

Last edited by Kittster; 11.01.2011 at 10:30.
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