 | | | 
27.01.2011, 23:58
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: na
Posts: 11,453
Groaned at 37 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 27,268 Times in 8,418 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
I used to be a trailing spouse, but all these years on... now I am merely a dilettante. | The following 6 users would like to thank meloncollie for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 00:18
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Geneva
Posts: 3,913
Groaned at 67 Times in 48 Posts
Thanked 3,670 Times in 1,716 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
Neither. We both have jobs. When we have kids though that may chance. Depending on the cost of child care in Geneva, my OH (a guy) may stay at home looking after the kids
| 
28.01.2011, 14:01
| |
Well we came here for my husband's job, although I don't consider myself to have trailed much at all. It was a bit more like nudge and the occasional push. Glad I did too.
| The following 3 users would like to thank for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 15:39
|  | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Zürich
Posts: 31
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 16 Times in 6 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
My wife is chuffed to bits that she doesn't have to work anymore, so I'm not sure about trailing anything. We are a team.
| The following 9 users would like to thank ælfred for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 15:50
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Geneva/Vaud
Posts: 4,945
Groaned at 50 Times in 46 Posts
Thanked 5,199 Times in 2,354 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
I'm not sure about the whole "trailing spouse" thing either... mrs G had been resident and employed here for years before we met... I moved over to be with her and am now also employed. (( some would argue that ))
I guess if pushed I would be the trailing spouse, but don't ask me what I'm trailing.
| The following 2 users would like to thank grynch for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 16:18
|  | Member | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Australia
Posts: 245
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 145 Times in 86 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
I qualify as a trailing spouse, but I rather think of my husband the head of the family and me the neck.
| 
28.01.2011, 16:48
|  | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Fribourg
Posts: 239
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 98 Times in 62 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship? | Quote: | |  | | | I qualify as a trailing spouse, but I rather think of my husband the head of the family and me the neck. | | | | | ... and the backbone?
| 
28.01.2011, 17:24
| Senior Member | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Netherlands
Posts: 489
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 442 Times in 228 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
My male partner has been wonderful enough to follow me for the last six years on my scientific career from Holland through Germany to Switzerland - that we got married somewhere along the way shows that luckily being the 'trailing' partner did not p*** him off to much  When I look around me I see that I am an exception and know how lucky I should consider myself. Things have not always been easy though, especially as it seems a lot harder for him to find a reasonable job here than it was in Germany...
| 
28.01.2011, 17:29
|  | Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 17
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship? | Quote: | |  | | | Moving here was a decision me and my partner made together. No trailing involved  | | | | | well said! | 
28.01.2011, 17:53
| Junior Member | | Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: basel stadt
Posts: 74
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 47 Times in 27 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
is there such thing as a 'pushing' spouse, not just a trailing spouse??? 
Wifey is the bread winner I'm afraid. But I gladly came, so we could be together.
Moving was def a JOINT decision.
Or so I'm told. 
Skiing this weekend anyone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
Oh the hard ships of moving to CH
| The following 3 users would like to thank petertaylor123 for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 18:12
| Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Vaud
Posts: 57
Groaned at 3 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 29 Times in 16 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship? | Quote: | |  | | | I just despise that expression "trailing spouse." If you enter trailing spouse in the search field of the Urban Dictionary website, you come up with Dependasaurus. Horrible.
Trailing spouse just sounds so negative, like someone who was dragged along. In gardening, trailing plants are those that spread, they extend themselves and root as they go along. Sometimes they can take over the whole garden.  | | | | | I guess I used that set of words just to make myself understandable, as in my case my husband and I made the decision together as well, it was discussed and agreed on, it could not have worked otherwise...but just wanted to make the point that it seems the women power still has a lot of room for improvement as women are still the ones making less money or sacrificing their careers for their families.
| 
28.01.2011, 18:57
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Saussignac, France
Posts: 1,703
Groaned at 26 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 2,941 Times in 931 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
Like it or not, the term "trailing spouse" is widely accepted in the ex-pat community and corporate world in general to describe the partner who accompanies the transferee.
Hey, it beats "barnacle" or "parasite". To the OP, if you need a lighter perspective on the trailing spouse experience in Switzerland, have a look at my blog. I have a few posts specifically for male trailing spouses in there somewhere. www.trailingwife.blogspot.com | The following 4 users would like to thank TheSpouse for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 20:00
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Hong Kong now Bern before
Posts: 557
Groaned at 6 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 245 Times in 156 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
To come here I had to resigned from my expat contract in shanghai. I was the one with the free housing, free schooling , free heathcare etc... here I'm nothing so i'm quite happy in the end that my husband has been offered a promotion back in Asia. I will be able to work again after 2 years of unemployment.
I absolutely hate the fact that I have to ask my husband for money even though i contributed 4 years with quite a good salary and advantages.
| This user would like to thank olympe for this useful post: | | 
28.01.2011, 21:31
| Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Secret
Posts: 573
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 392 Times in 201 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
being a trailing spouse has nice perks...  beats working in an office filled with jerks! | 
28.01.2011, 21:58
| | | Quote: | |  | | | being a trailing spouse has nice perks... beats working in an office filled with jerks!  | | | | | So, so true!
| 
28.01.2011, 22:00
| | | Quote: | |  | | | I absolutely hate the fact that I have to ask my husband for money even though i contributed 4 years with quite a good salary and advantages. | | | | | My solution to that one is to manage the money. He makes it and I disperse it. Works for us.
| The following 4 users would like to thank for this useful post: | | 
29.01.2011, 02:53
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Lugano
Posts: 6,570
Groaned at 129 Times in 95 Posts
Thanked 7,989 Times in 3,724 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship? | Quote: |  | | | My solution to that one is to manage the money. He makes it and I disperse it. Works for us. | | | | |
In Japan the wife handles all the money. She gives her husband an allowance. Sometimes he has to decide whether to skip lunch so he can have a beer with his buddies after work.
I don't think the spouse who accompanies the one who is the main transferree is a trailing spouse. A home does not run itself. There is still the necessary tasks to be done: shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and maybe even gardening.  Someone's gotta do these things and they do take up time.
If there are no children or pets, it can be very lonely but forums have changed this for many people and allowed them to meet others. Having free time means the chance to find new hobbies or interests.
I often wonder why companies offer the language support to the main transferree, when it is really their partner who needs it to manage on a daily basis. Language courses can take up a great deal of time and being able to communicate with the locals can make a huge difference.
If the accompanying spouse does not go to work outside the home, initially it can be a shock to the system but I know many who have gotten used to it.
__________________ | This user would like to thank Mrs. Doolittle for this useful post: | | 
29.01.2011, 09:19
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Aargau
Posts: 8,875
Groaned at 125 Times in 92 Posts
Thanked 6,610 Times in 3,659 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
We quickly forgot about trailing spouse role because time is money...
My wife is fantastic house wife who does work part time to offset the time gaps.
In the meantime I'm a trolling mouse on the EF...
Last edited by jacek; 29.01.2011 at 10:08.
| 
29.01.2011, 10:03
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
Posts: 2,178
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 1,324 Times in 700 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?
I am a trailing mouse. My wife is the bread winner, I just cook it.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, pay bills and look after the dogs. Mind you, I did that when I was working..
And I enjoy what I do immensely.
| The following 3 users would like to thank kevlegs for this useful post: | | 
29.01.2011, 10:23
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere special far away
Posts: 4,322
Groaned at 69 Times in 51 Posts
Thanked 7,190 Times in 2,662 Posts
| | Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship? | Quote: | |  | | | I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, pay bills and look after the dogs. Mind you, I did that when I was working.. And I enjoy what I do immensely. | | | | | This rare species really does exist.. wow !! Mrs K found one
My mom was the trailing spouse, twas very much the ways of the world at the time. Dads had careers and moms took care of the house and kids and gave a lot of comfort and support to their husbands so that they had peace of mind to advance professionally.
I've been a trailing spouse domestically all over Switzerland. We only really settled when I anchored myself professionally and started to build my own career. I much prefer it this way, am far to independent to depend on anybody.
__________________ . "Il mondo è fatto a scale, chi le scende e chi le sale" | This user would like to thank Sky for this useful post: | |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | | Thread Tools | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT +2. The time now is 16:17. | |