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  #21  
Old 27.01.2011, 23:58
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I used to be a trailing spouse, but all these years on... now I am merely a dilettante.


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  #22  
Old 28.01.2011, 00:18
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Neither. We both have jobs. When we have kids though that may chance. Depending on the cost of child care in Geneva, my OH (a guy) may stay at home looking after the kids
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  #23  
Old 28.01.2011, 14:01
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Well we came here for my husband's job, although I don't consider myself to have trailed much at all. It was a bit more like nudge and the occasional push. Glad I did too.
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Old 28.01.2011, 15:39
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

My wife is chuffed to bits that she doesn't have to work anymore, so I'm not sure about trailing anything. We are a team.
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  #25  
Old 28.01.2011, 15:50
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I'm not sure about the whole "trailing spouse" thing either... mrs G had been resident and employed here for years before we met... I moved over to be with her and am now also employed. (( some would argue that ))

I guess if pushed I would be the trailing spouse, but don't ask me what I'm trailing.
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  #26  
Old 28.01.2011, 16:18
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I qualify as a trailing spouse, but I rather think of my husband the head of the family and me the neck.
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  #27  
Old 28.01.2011, 16:48
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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I qualify as a trailing spouse, but I rather think of my husband the head of the family and me the neck.
... and the backbone?
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  #28  
Old 28.01.2011, 17:24
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

My male partner has been wonderful enough to follow me for the last six years on my scientific career from Holland through Germany to Switzerland - that we got married somewhere along the way shows that luckily being the 'trailing' partner did not p*** him off to much When I look around me I see that I am an exception and know how lucky I should consider myself. Things have not always been easy though, especially as it seems a lot harder for him to find a reasonable job here than it was in Germany...
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  #29  
Old 28.01.2011, 17:29
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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Moving here was a decision me and my partner made together. No trailing involved
well said!
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  #30  
Old 28.01.2011, 17:53
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

is there such thing as a 'pushing' spouse, not just a trailing spouse???

Wifey is the bread winner I'm afraid. But I gladly came, so we could be together.
Moving was def a JOINT decision.
Or so I'm told.

Skiing this weekend anyone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Oh the hard ships of moving to CH
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  #31  
Old 28.01.2011, 18:12
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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I just despise that expression "trailing spouse." If you enter trailing spouse in the search field of the Urban Dictionary website, you come up with
Dependasaurus. Horrible.

Trailing spouse just sounds so negative, like someone who was dragged along. In gardening, trailing plants are those that spread, they extend themselves and root as they go along. Sometimes they can take over the whole garden.
I guess I used that set of words just to make myself understandable, as in my case my husband and I made the decision together as well, it was discussed and agreed on, it could not have worked otherwise...but just wanted to make the point that it seems the women power still has a lot of room for improvement as women are still the ones making less money or sacrificing their careers for their families.
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  #32  
Old 28.01.2011, 18:57
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Like it or not, the term "trailing spouse" is widely accepted in the ex-pat community and corporate world in general to describe the partner who accompanies the transferee.

Hey, it beats "barnacle" or "parasite". To the OP, if you need a lighter perspective on the trailing spouse experience in Switzerland, have a look at my blog. I have a few posts specifically for male trailing spouses in there somewhere.

www.trailingwife.blogspot.com
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  #33  
Old 28.01.2011, 20:00
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

To come here I had to resigned from my expat contract in shanghai. I was the one with the free housing, free schooling , free heathcare etc... here I'm nothing so i'm quite happy in the end that my husband has been offered a promotion back in Asia. I will be able to work again after 2 years of unemployment.
I absolutely hate the fact that I have to ask my husband for money even though i contributed 4 years with quite a good salary and advantages.
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  #34  
Old 28.01.2011, 21:31
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

being a trailing spouse has nice perks... beats working in an office filled with jerks!
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  #35  
Old 28.01.2011, 21:58
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being a trailing spouse has nice perks... beats working in an office filled with jerks!
So, so true!
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  #36  
Old 28.01.2011, 22:00
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I absolutely hate the fact that I have to ask my husband for money even though i contributed 4 years with quite a good salary and advantages.
My solution to that one is to manage the money. He makes it and I disperse it. Works for us.
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  #37  
Old 29.01.2011, 02:53
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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My solution to that one is to manage the money. He makes it and I disperse it. Works for us.

In Japan the wife handles all the money. She gives her husband an allowance. Sometimes he has to decide whether to skip lunch so he can have a beer with his buddies after work.

I don't think the spouse who accompanies the one who is the main transferree is a trailing spouse. A home does not run itself. There is still the necessary tasks to be done: shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, and maybe even gardening. Someone's gotta do these things and they do take up time.

If there are no children or pets, it can be very lonely but forums have changed this for many people and allowed them to meet others. Having free time means the chance to find new hobbies or interests.

I often wonder why companies offer the language support to the main transferree, when it is really their partner who needs it to manage on a daily basis. Language courses can take up a great deal of time and being able to communicate with the locals can make a huge difference.

If the accompanying spouse does not go to work outside the home, initially it can be a shock to the system but I know many who have gotten used to it.
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  #38  
Old 29.01.2011, 09:19
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

We quickly forgot about trailing spouse role because time is money...

My wife is fantastic house wife who does work part time to offset the time gaps.

In the meantime I'm a trolling mouse on the EF...

Last edited by jacek; 29.01.2011 at 10:08.
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  #39  
Old 29.01.2011, 10:03
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I am a trailing mouse. My wife is the bread winner, I just cook it.

I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, pay bills and look after the dogs. Mind you, I did that when I was working..

And I enjoy what I do immensely.
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  #40  
Old 29.01.2011, 10:23
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, pay bills and look after the dogs. Mind you, I did that when I was working.. And I enjoy what I do immensely.
This rare species really does exist.. wow !! Mrs K found one

My mom was the trailing spouse, twas very much the ways of the world at the time. Dads had careers and moms took care of the house and kids and gave a lot of comfort and support to their husbands so that they had peace of mind to advance professionally.

I've been a trailing spouse domestically all over Switzerland. We only really settled when I anchored myself professionally and started to build my own career. I much prefer it this way, am far to independent to depend on anybody.
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