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Old 27.01.2011, 22:05
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Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I have been reading about trailing spouses in the forum and have noticed that in most of the cases is the wife who is moving to support her husband's career? Am I right? Or is just my impression, in my relation my husband came with me as the trailing spouse.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:12
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Well all I have to say is I am the trailing spouse and I am the wife! My friend is also the wife and she has trailed over from the U.k. just like me. Very old fashioned I know but my hubby is the main bread winner in our house and it suits us just fine. Plus I am getting the chance to explore a new country and make new friends. Enjoy!!!
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:12
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Me! Dammit...

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Old 27.01.2011, 22:25
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Me too! I had was fortunate/ unfortunate enough to marry a man who just keeps on being promoted and after a couple of years I couldn't keep up career-wise, so I gave up mine to follow him.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:32
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

He was the one making the biggest paycheck and he had better chances to go higher in his career.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:45
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

You are not alone, SA-V. In our case, my husband is also the trailing spouse.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:50
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Absolutely no trailing here.

Hubby and I (both English) made our way here as single people. We met here in Pickwicks in Basel of all places . The rest is history
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:52
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

What's a "trailing spouse"?

Tom
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:53
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Not a spouse per se, but a trailing girlfriend, which seems ridiculous as my partner is in Mexico.
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:10
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I'm only 22 and I'm moving to Zurich as it's it the only way me and my boyfriend can be together!

He won't even be working but studying, so unlike most women who move to Zurich to be with their partner who don't have to work, if I don't work I won't be able to eat :P.

Luckily I speak German and I'm a trained English teacher, so my career won't be over before it's begun ....

Until I met him I never thought I'd move away for a man before :P.

It's amazing we'll do for our amazing significant others...
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:14
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I am the trailing spouse, my husband job is better here and after a year I joined him with the kids, he is also the bread winner for the family and dare I say it we have a better life her than we did in scotland.
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:19
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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What's a "trailing spouse"?

Tom
Spouse generally refers to a partner in a marriage (so wife or husband for example).

Now imagine one person from within a couple moving to another country in most our cases here in Switzerland for a new job opportunity or another reason. Now most couples want to stay living together (most!) so the other person in the relationship moves with their partner to Switzerland but not with any particular reason except to stay as a couple. They are effectively following (trailing) their partner in their now ex-pat relationship, and may give up things in order to be able to do so.

Does that make sense...?!

I don't think I count as a trailing spouse, under the definition above. But I did move her to be with my Swiss girlfriend, so I am a trailing male!
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:36
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

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Spouse generally refers to a partner in a marriage (so wife or husband for example).

Now imagine one person from within a couple moving to another country in most our cases here in Switzerland for a new job opportunity or another reason. Now most couples want to stay living together (most!) so the other person in the relationship moves with their partner to Switzerland but not with any particular reason except to stay as a couple. They are effectively following (trailing) their partner in their now ex-pat relationship, and may give up things in order to be able to do so.

Does that make sense...?!

I don't think I count as a trailing spouse, under the definition above. But I did move her to be with my Swiss girlfriend, so I am a trailing male!
Well, in that case, NEITHER!

(I moved here by myself)

Tom
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:57
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Moving here was a decision me and my partner made together. No trailing involved
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:08
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I am the trailer in our marriage .. how else would I have so much time to spend on the Forum?? In our case, I had been the main breadwinner but had had enough of the long hours and missing my little boy growing up, so we decided to move here so I could enjoy some down time .. and over here my husband got better paid meaning two salaries were not so vital ... but I've found the adjustment to stay at home mother not so easy ... I think it is mainly my own perception ... because for the main, I find the Swiss are extremely laid back about not wanting to know what you do or try to pigeonhole you because of your work (or lack of it in my case) ...
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:19
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Definitely me, and I have been trailing around most of Europe for the past few years ... and have been unable to take up my own career, sadly.
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:25
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

So...EF career does not count? Or what

I am kidding. It's not easy. And certainly I don't know many that would weather the adjustment well. From successful person, set in a working environment, surrounded with a safety network of family and friends, self sufficient, following her priorities in a familiar place with rules that we make into the world of codependent hermits and isolated outcasts, unable to really plan. The minute one ventures out, though...life happens again. People can be very helpful here, without making you feel like you owe them.
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:46
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I'm a trailing spouse, and so is my wife!
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:52
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

Not quite yet, but I am planning to become a trailing spouse... the wife has set off already, but we agreed to have a distance relationship till we found out which place we prefer (and till we both found jobs in that place). Switzerland is for us the easier choice, but it is losing in terms of excitement and experience... so we will see what 2011 will come up with.
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Old 28.01.2011, 00:55
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Re: Who is the trailing spouse in your relationship?

I just despise that expression "trailing spouse." If you enter trailing spouse in the search field of the Urban Dictionary website, you come up with
Dependasaurus. Horrible.

Trailing spouse just sounds so negative, like someone who was dragged along. In gardening, trailing plants are those that spread, they extend themselves and root as they go along. Sometimes they can take over the whole garden.
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