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  #21  
Old 31.01.2011, 09:05
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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For me it will be when I can get by in the local language and when I have a home that I feel comfortable inviting local friends over to dinner in.
Do you have to 'buy' one house in order to make you feel the home comfortable? Or you can get along with a rented room?
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  #22  
Old 31.01.2011, 09:13
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

I say Grüezi and they grüezi me back. That's about it. Rest is as mentioned before rather a state of mind.
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  #23  
Old 31.01.2011, 09:43
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

For me it was receiving my C permit. Now I won't need to leave the country in case I lose my job (like with B). Also with C you're allowed to buy guns. This last point may sound weird and extreme but it has to do with a feeling of acceptance and being trusted. The C permit and associated 'rights' feel to me like I'm accepted in society here, I am no longer a temporary auslander but an accepted and settled resident.
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  #24  
Old 31.01.2011, 09:52
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I don't feel settled here and never will. Lovely country, lovely people (expats and locals), nothing against anyone or anything. It's just that I always have an unsettled feeling haunting me most of the time.
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  #25  
Old 31.01.2011, 10:03
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

It's a funny one to consider this question. For about 8 years, I felt I was settled but my life was centered around a social group of expats (most of whom have now left).

Since then, I've moved house 4 times, bought 3 properties and been up in front of a local Richter (magistrate) in a neighbourhood dispute.

I see mention of C permits as the thing that makes you feel settled....my measurement is my GA...!!
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  #26  
Old 31.01.2011, 10:23
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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Well, just small things, like speaking German, having Swiss friends, bought a house, got citizenship, had kids born here, taking vacations inside Switzerland
...small things huh?!
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  #27  
Old 31.01.2011, 10:27
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

maybe also another thing that either hints that I am getting older or am settled here - is that I've lost 3 friends during my time here. The scary thing is that the oldest person to pass was the age I am now.

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  #28  
Old 31.01.2011, 10:35
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

mrs G. had lived here (before we met ) for a number of years before I moved over to be with her, so I was fortunate mostly for her of course, but also for a ready made network of friends that immediately made my transition so much easier.
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  #29  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:11
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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...and have only reached level B2 because I do not have a huge opportunity to use it...
Well, I had to take C courses last summer to take B2 at the end, ton of work and elaborate testing, and have worked with European Framework of lang. for a bunch of years to know - B2 is great. I know you use your French experience as a point of reference, but don't. B2 is very good, don't beat yourself over it. I think you are far better than you give yourself credit for. French is difficult for me, since it is a whole different family of languages. If I was Prortuguese, Italian or Spanish, I would speak it in no time. But since I speak one Slavic language every day, use another Anglosaxon one at home and work and am expected to communicate with a Latin language at work and in everyday communication, it's a major mess. The fact you were fluent quickly in one language, does not mean it won't interfere with another one you are trying to master. Exposure is a main key, you said it right, you need to need it. So, I'd say, put yourself in a situation where you will absolutely need it, you know, the little tricks we play with ourelves to make ourselves move on...

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For me it will be when I can get by in the local language and when I have a home that I feel comfortable inviting local friends over to dinner in.
You better start dusting, polishing the parkets and bleaching the kitchen surfaces.... Well, it depends on friends. Our good local friends seem to be mess immune, weehee.

Anyways. I think I will feel I made it here when I will have joined one of the local communities, understand them and gel with them:

- local mycological society
- local club of sauvetage
- local firemen
- local mustache club
- girl scouts couching

I hope they don't discriminate. For the meantime, I think I am gonna stick to torturing locals' ears with some hesslich muzzak
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Last edited by MusicChick; 31.01.2011 at 11:55.
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  #30  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:15
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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Anyways. I think I will feel I made it here when I will have joined one of the local communities, understand them and gel with them:

- local mycological society
- local club of sauvetage
- local firemen
- local mustache club
- girl scouts couching

I hope they don't discriminate. For the meantime, I think I am gonna stick to torturing locals' ears with some hesslich muzzak



???????????????
*biting my tongue, a tiny bit*
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  #31  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:18
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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???????????????
*biting my tongue, a tiny bit*
Hahahaa....we hang out with them every now and then, they seem to have the most fun at the local fairs, etc. I am not sure how to grow one, but hey, it would be quite a way to get some r&r roadies, n'est pas



And hey, I forgot, there is a local pirate club, but they seem to be always drunk
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  #32  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:22
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

mustache club...
pirate club...
.
I think I gotta hang out in Nyon a little bit more often !!







n.b. - I had a good spring clean this weekend...
trimmed the beard
trimmed the mustache
trimmed the nose hair
trimmed the eye brows.



maybe next week mrs. can have a go at my back.

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  #33  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:29
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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Exposure is a main key, you said it right, you need to need it. So, I'd say, put yourself in a situation where you will absolutely need it, you know, the little tricks we play with ourelves to make ourselves move on...
Re-reading this thread has made me appreciate that I am indeed more settled than I thought, just not yet feeling totally integrated. And that I should not confuse the one with the other.

I sing in the village choir, help out at various village verein functions and take part in things at the local schoolj with my kids. I get invited to friends' houses and vice versa. So that makes me feel very happy and yes, I guess, settled (and has helped me to understand Swiss German, just not speak it!). I will feel integrated when I no longer have to whisper to the lady sitting next to me in choir to repeat what the conductor has just said .... yup, I can see that taking a little longer
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  #34  
Old 31.01.2011, 11:35
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

MusicChick
Love the Moustache Club lol !
I guess for me to feel more at home
will be to speak the language wich i am working on
i can t recommand enough the school EB Zurich
i did two month,January they made a mistake so i didn t go back
my teacher forgot to give my form lol.
And i am taking a break in February as i have a three months
Lab Puppy to train at home ,and have a F$%#@*!&% neighboor
who was complaining of barking ,i live two floors under him,and the dog was in the TV room,i have learn that he even complain of
my lovely neighboor who live one floor above him because of TV,she bought some tv headsets and he call the police when the peoples across the street who are a nice couple from ski lanka have two kids playing out and complain about how can they afford vacations,he is just an assle.
So for me i will feel better when i speak the language and have a job and little more friends.
But i have to say some things go on my nerves and maybe i will never feel home because of it.
I respect everyone and can t figure out why peoples have to make some much fuss over little things giving the world we live in.
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  #35  
Old 31.01.2011, 12:09
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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Re-reading this thread has made me appreciate that I am indeed more settled than I thought, just not yet feeling totally integrated. And that I should not confuse the one with the other.

I sing in the village choir, help out at various village verein functions and take part in things at the local schoolj with my kids. I get invited to friends' houses and vice versa. So that makes me feel very happy and yes, I guess, settled (and has helped me to understand Swiss German, just not speak it!). I will feel integrated when I no longer have to whisper to the lady sitting next to me in choir to repeat what the conductor has just said .... yup, I can see that taking a little longer
I am not sure how settled one really has to be, you know. I felt at home in the US coz I could speak the language, but the overall "pamper myself, entitlement and you must agree with me at all times or we aint' buddies" prevailing comsumer culture was a weird one to me to really feel like belonging to. For that matter, my closest friends from there don't really belong to this, either. So, while I do feel settled here, I have my friends I made myself, my work, my little network, my info sources, I still feel an outsider at times since I grew up elsewhere, there will always be a little sense of "not belonging", and that's ok.

That's fab you got yourself out and about, participate in local activities, work on something together with the rest of the community. It did take me cca 4yrs when I actually could distinguish the individual words, the slurred speach became a transparent lego structure, ykwim. A colleague gives me routine "dictees", which is really helpful, I take classes, always try to communicate with the creche peeps, harass the telemarketers to squeeze in some free conversation, and, radio, tv news, papers..But it was a long long process, not being exposed as I was at home with a little one and we had no resources, really, so it is normal. Friends are hardcore, though. Don't let them translate for you, since the minute your brain knows you have somebody by your side that would translate for you, your brain quits listening. Bring a dictionary, have all people speak German to you, all the time. It's ok to make mistakes, be proud you are trying, laugh when you sound like a robot. Kids are great, they laugh at me, cruelly point all little mistakes I do and mimic me, especially when I am trying to discipline, it is hell but it is great to show them we all make mistakes.
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  #36  
Old 31.01.2011, 12:26
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

Doesn't feel like home yet, but a big step was made by moving out of the city and into the countryside. That was when it went from 'temporary' to 'probably permanent'. In some ways, a very emotional moment because I didn't come to Switzerland with a view of staying here long term.
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  #37  
Old 31.01.2011, 12:29
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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.................. a very emotional moment because I didn't come to Switzerland with a view of staying here long term.
welcome to Switzerland... my wife, long before she was mrs. G, came here with the intention of staying 6 months.

that was 1980
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  #38  
Old 31.01.2011, 12:43
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

For me, there's a difference between "settled" and "integrated"

If its the former, then I can say, hand on my heart that after almost 3 years here, I am. I know where everything is, how most things work and have people that I have grown very fond of here, hang out with socially and can call upon if I ever need to get something off my chest.

If its the latter, then no. Language is the biggest barrier but not the main factor. I can understand what people are saying mostly, get by for the basic daily stuff but I cant talk about deeper stuff and still stick to English channels on telly

Dont get me wrong, I love this country and what it offers, but unlike some of the fellow EFers who plan to be here for the long haul, have planted deeper roots (bought houses etc), due to the nature of my husband's job, I know at the back of my mind, that there'll be a day where I'll have go through the stressful nightmare of packing up and relocating (again!) - and also I've never given up the notion that "home" is where I grew up and where my family is.
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  #39  
Old 31.01.2011, 12:53
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

I've been here coming up 11 years - hubby is Swiss, son was born here. Have a great job, know some nice people, can understand the local lingo. I am settled. But my roots and where I feel the most comfortable will always be in England.

Btw - like the majority of Swiss people living in and around the major cities, we rent and haven't bought. The concept of buying a house to feel settled is not a very Swiss one. (My mother in law, brother in law have rented their whole lives)
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  #40  
Old 31.01.2011, 13:00
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Re: What makes you feel that you have settled in here?

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Do you have to 'buy' one house in order to make you feel the home comfortable? Or you can get along with a rented room?
Yup, rented is fine for me, as long as it is a home of some sort. I think I got over wanting to own property when I left the UK.

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You better start dusting, polishing the parkets and bleaching the kitchen surfaces.... Well, it depends on friends.
I am pretty OCD when it comes to having things clean in my own space. I don't mind other places that are not 100% clean and organised at all, of course to some limits but generally my home ends up a bit like an operating theater most of the time.

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For me it was receiving my C permit.
I agree with this, I would not want my residency and citizenship application effected by jobs. I worked in Saudi for a while and it always felt terrible as it did when I was naturalising in the UK that they could boot you at any stage if you were without a job.

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For me, there's a difference between "settled" and "integrated"
Isn't settled when you feel like you are comfortable in a place and integrated when the locals feel comfortable with you in that place?
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