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  #21  
Old 17.02.2011, 12:07
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

Here's my 2 cents. However you choose to deal with this situation and I can well understand it's not easy, I hope your approach is one of kindness and respect for her feelings. You never know when you may need help from her over more serious issues - maybe in an emergency (although hopefully not) - and fostering good relationships with neighbours (even seemingly interfering busy bodies) goes a very long way and counts for a lot IMHO.
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Old 17.02.2011, 12:08
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I often walk around in my skimpy smalls round my flat much to the pleasure of the local Ladies
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Old 17.02.2011, 12:12
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Here's my 2 cents. However you choose to deal with this situation and I can well understand it's not easy, I hope your approach is one of kindness and respect for her feelings. You never know when you may need help from her over more serious issues - maybe in an emergency (although hopefully not) - and fostering good relationships with neighbours (even seemingly interfering busy bodies) goes a very long way and counts for a lot IMHO.
Those are the one you want on your side. They like you and leave you alone in their research of the law breakers...
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Old 17.02.2011, 12:16
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

OMG! lololololol

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There is worse. Residents in an appartment block in Geneva received a letter from the Regie (management company) requesting the gentlemen not to use the toilet standing up after 22h00 !
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Old 17.02.2011, 12:59
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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OK I guess that you might want to use your assigned parking space but who on earth is going to see where people are parking? I don't! ...Then again I am not Swiss
In my old place I got even complaints (in written form) that my guests were parking in the guest parking
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Old 17.02.2011, 13:16
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

With the parking thing, I guess it's also about feeling that guest parking should only be used by guests and that those requiring regular parking should pay for it, just like everybody else does. I can already see this being a problem in my future home as there are not enough paid parking spaces for all the apartments and ten guest spaces outside. To buy a space costs CHF 35'000, to rent it will be CHF 150 a month, so I would be quite cross if my guests can't park their car just because somebody feels they can put their car there permanently... Again, this is one of those "what if everybody did this" issues.
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Old 17.02.2011, 13:19
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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With the parking thing, I guess it's also about feeling that guest parking should only be used by guests and that those requiring regular parking should pay for it, just like everybody else does. I can already see this being a problem in my future home as there are not enough paid parking spaces for all the apartments and ten guest spaces outside. To buy a space costs CHF 35'000, to rent it will be CHF 150 a month, so I would be quite cross if my guests can't park their car just because somebody feels they can put their car there permanently... Again, this is one of those "what if everybody did this" issues.
I understand that, But in our case, all the other neighbours from other buildings park their car in ''our'' guest parking and when we do have guests, they don't have parking available...

Which wasn't a problem before.
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Old 17.02.2011, 13:21
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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I understand that, But in our case, all the other neighbours from other buildings park their car in ''our'' guest parking and when we do have guests, they don't have parking available...

Which wasn't a problem before.
Then do the Swiss thing and complain in writing...
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Old 17.02.2011, 13:39
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I agree with the parking. We have 3 guest parking lots for three building with 7 apartments each. Which is very little as it is. However, for the last months they were always the same cars parked there, most of them for several days in a row without moving. I can fully understand if someone complains in such a situation as many times my visitors were not able to find a parking space either and had to tour the town in order to park the car. Therefore it might seem "Swiss" but I want people who park regularly and for several hours / days to rent a parking lot and not to block the one for guests. It's like others said, what if everyone would do that?
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  #30  
Old 17.02.2011, 14:21
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Why should we as foriegners in Switzerland take a back seat in such matters? We have as much right as anyone else to express our opinions and should not have to accept everything we are told with a smile
Because we can also smile to any busybody. It keeps them calm and stops them calling the police because they think they have won the argument. Do what you like afterwards, is what I wrote.
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Old 17.02.2011, 14:38
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Why should we as foriegners in Switzerland take a back seat in such matters? We have as much right as anyone else to express our opinions and should not have to accept everything we are told with a smile
I would say it is more about avoiding confrontation. say "thank you for your valuable advice" and do as you please.
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Old 17.02.2011, 15:02
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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There is worse. Residents in an appartment block in Geneva received a letter from the Regie (management company) requesting the gentlemen not to use the toilet standing up after 22h00 !
Can they forward the letter here? Thanks.

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I would say it is more about avoiding confrontation. say "thank you for your valuable advice" and do as you please.
Now, I completely agree. Somebody sharing her views on whatever she wants does not mean I have to say I agree, nor that I will actually decide to do what she wants (well, I would if our behavior infridged her rights, sure). If you act like you are clueless and thank her profusely and act like you will always follow her advice, she won't ever stop. Next time she is in your kitchen telling you how to cook or how to iron your shirts. Saying simply "thanks", not commenting and not letting her know what you pan to do might actually stop the unsolicited advice. Some people view unsolicited advice as doing you a favor in this culture, btw.

I would actually start giving her advice, too, annoyingly often and stress that in my home we do this and that, just do exactly the same as she is trying to do, I am sure she will run out of steam soon. Some people need to take their own medicine, don't they.
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  #33  
Old 17.02.2011, 15:31
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Hi

Wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaints corner or not but it isn't really a complaint but a plea for advice! So here it is...

We live in a row of terraced houses in a small village in Canton Aargau. Our neighbour has decided to "advise" us on a series of matters. From refusing to let me use a compo-bag to dispose of green matter (they sell them at Migros!), lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) to telling us that we shouldn't let our dog jump to catch her frizbee as it will hurt her back legs (she's a Springer Spaniel lol)

Is she genuinly trying to help but the language issue is getting in the way (she only speaking Swiss G and my husband is fairly fluent but not totally). Is this normal or does she just not like us. Any ideas on how to deal with her would be most welcome!

What do you reckon?
Parking in the guest parking is a no-no. This is her polite reminder before she or someone escalates the problem and you get a letter from the property management. You don't want that.

Compo bags are fine, just expensive. I know when using the can under the kitchen sink it gets pretty disgusting and you feel like you are performing some science experiment. Empty it more often is all I can advise. Maybe your neighbour just hates to see you wasting your money on the compo bags.

As for the dog advice, for some dogs (like ours) certain kinds of activity does stress joints and bones. Maybe this woman knew someone who had the seem breed as your dog and it had a problem. Who knows. As long as your dog is checked regularly by the veterinarian, and he is fine, just reassure your neighbour he is fine and thank her for her concern. She might overlook any dog barking if she feels you take her seriously. Does your dog bark a lot when you play frisbee? Maybe this is what is bothering her.

Why not take her over something homemade, thank her for taking an interest in your family's situation. Maybe she will offer to babysit? or dogsit? You just never know when you might be stuck. It is nice to have a neighbour you might be able to count on.
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Old 17.02.2011, 16:54
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Some people like to use the foreigner's card like some use the racist's card...

Geeez!
I probably didn't express myself well enough. The point I was trying to make is that many people try to bend over backwards to fit into the Swiss world. This is OK up to a point but we should still stand up for ourselves. We as foreigners (but not guests) also have a role in shaping Swiss society.

I also don't understand your comment about racism. I am lucky to have never felt anything approaching racism from the Swiss and certainly don't have any bad feelings towards them either.
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Old 17.02.2011, 17:02
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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I understand that, But in our case, all the other neighbours from other buildings park their car in ''our'' guest parking and when we do have guests, they don't have parking available...

Which wasn't a problem before.
Then do the Swiss thing and complain in writing...
Better still, do the Liverpool thing and pinch their wheels - they'll stop soon enough then
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Old 17.02.2011, 17:19
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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well, I would if our behavior infridged her rights, sure
Is there an associated cooling-off period?

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Old 17.02.2011, 18:35
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

The lady is just being a small village busybody.
This model comes in all shapes, sizes and nationalities.

I'd make a batch of cookies (using a recipe from home that she probably will find exotic) and thank her for all her help with a big smile.

She might continue.. but she might also help you know all the "unwritten" rules and regulations to follow as to fit in smoothly.
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Old 17.02.2011, 18:51
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Hi

Wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaints corner or not but it isn't really a complaint but a plea for advice! So here it is...

We live in a row of terraced houses in a small village in Canton Aargau. Our neighbour has decided to "advise" us on a series of matters. From refusing to let me use a compo-bag to dispose of green matter (they sell them at Migros!), lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) to telling us that we shouldn't let our dog jump to catch her frizbee as it will hurt her back legs (she's a Springer Spaniel lol)

Is she genuinly trying to help but the language issue is getting in the way (she only speaking Swiss G and my husband is fairly fluent but not totally). Is this normal or does she just not like us. Any ideas on how to deal with her would be most welcome!

What do you reckon?
In regard to the Combo-bag, ask the "station-manager" of your Migros about the detail-technicalities. It possibly is not the bag which is the problem but the time or place where you think it could be deposited.

Speaks only Swiss-German ? Is the person mentally retarded ? Because everybody learns Standard-German in school.
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Old 17.02.2011, 18:55
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Hi

Wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaints corner or not but it isn't really a complaint but a plea for advice! So here it is...

We live in a row of terraced houses in a small village in Canton Aargau. Our neighbour has decided to "advise" us on a series of matters. From refusing to let me use a compo-bag to dispose of green matter (they sell them at Migros!), lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) to telling us that we shouldn't let our dog jump to catch her frizbee as it will hurt her back legs (she's a Springer Spaniel lol)

Is she genuinly trying to help but the language issue is getting in the way (she only speaking Swiss G and my husband is fairly fluent but not totally). Is this normal or does she just not like us. Any ideas on how to deal with her would be most welcome!

What do you reckon?

There is even a famous song about such people



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Old 17.02.2011, 19:37
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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I get what you're saying about the parking. We do have a garage but it isn't directly linked to the house. Now that may sound lazy but with a little one I think I may have to either leave him in the car by himself or in the house by himself whilst I park the car...so not that keen on that but it is doable...

Thanks for the advice.
There are times when the 'eye in the sky' is a very welcome thing. Such a person keeps a careful eye on the neighborhood and instantly reports unknown people (cuts down on break-ins).

My advice: thank her for telling you about the guest space and add as friendly as possible that you'll only leave the car there as long as it takes you to get the little one into the house. Most Swiss like kids (usually broiled) and will be OK with this.

I once had a guy tell me that my car was parked crooked. I was so surprised I actually moved it. Today I would still move it, but spend so much time getting it EXACTLY right that I'd make my point more effectively than if I told him to off.
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