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Old 17.02.2011, 10:49
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Neighbour issues...help please

Hi

Wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaints corner or not but it isn't really a complaint but a plea for advice! So here it is...

We live in a row of terraced houses in a small village in Canton Aargau. Our neighbour has decided to "advise" us on a series of matters. From refusing to let me use a compo-bag to dispose of green matter (they sell them at Migros!), lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) to telling us that we shouldn't let our dog jump to catch her frizbee as it will hurt her back legs (she's a Springer Spaniel lol)

Is she genuinly trying to help but the language issue is getting in the way (she only speaking Swiss G and my husband is fairly fluent but not totally). Is this normal or does she just not like us. Any ideas on how to deal with her would be most welcome!

What do you reckon?
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Old 17.02.2011, 10:54
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I would says she's just trying to help (but I'm not sure about the compo bag).

Is she smiling when she talk to you ?
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:03
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

try to stick to the rules (not her rules, but the "normal" rules of living together as neighbours) and ignore her advices.

most important: keep beeing friendly to her. this sort of neighbour (always complaining on everything) hate it most, when u stay calm and friendly.

the chance of losing by starting arguing on her level is >51%
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:03
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Hi

... lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) ....

What do you reckon?
I think she's got a point with the guest parking. Here it's considered a major misdemeanor to use the guest parking space when you live in one of the places to which it belongs, even if it is empty a lot of the time.

Is there a spare parking space you could rent near the guest parking space?
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:06
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

There is worse. Residents in an appartment block in Geneva received a letter from the Regie (management company) requesting the gentlemen not to use the toilet standing up after 22h00 !
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:06
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I get what you're saying about the parking. We do have a garage but it isn't directly linked to the house. Now that may sound lazy but with a little one I think I may have to either leave him in the car by himself or in the house by himself whilst I park the car...so not that keen on that but it is doable...

Thanks for the advice.

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I think she's got a point with the guest parking. Here it's considered a major misdemeanor to use the guest parking space when you live in one of the places to which it belongs, even if it is empty a lot of the time.

Is there a spare parking space you could rent near the guest parking space?
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:12
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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I think she's got a point with the guest parking. Here it's considered a major misdemeanor to use the guest parking space when you live in one of the places to which it belongs, even if it is empty a lot of the time.
i totally agree with Tom1234 on this one.
if it would be two or three times a month using the guets parking lot for yourself, then ok.
but if you use it regularly, then i can understand her reaction on this matter.
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:15
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

OK I guess that you might want to use your assigned parking space but who on earth is going to see where people are parking? I don't! ...Then again I am not Swiss
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:18
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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I get what you're saying about the parking. We do have a garage but it isn't directly linked to the house. Now that may sound lazy but with a little one I think I may have to either leave him in the car by himself or in the house by himself whilst I park the car...so not that keen on that but it is doable...

Thanks for the advice.
It's not easy though. We used to have the same problem - and the same type of neighbour.

We put good parking on our wish-list for a new place and now we can park 1 meter from our back door which makes things easier.
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:25
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I don't want to comment on the rights and wrongs but interfering neighbours seem to be an integral part of Swiss society. In certain cases one has to politely tell them to mind their own business
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:30
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

Always thank her with a warm smile for her good advice, take notice, then do your own thing. But don't complain when she wins the next war.
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:31
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

Parking in the visitors spot seems to be a hanging offense here... during our Quartier meetings folks can spend hours droning on about this. Seems petty, I know - but as this is such a red-flag issue here you just may have to accept it if you wish to get along.

As for compost - do you have your own compost bin, and do you then use the compost only on your own garden beds? If so, do as you wish. If, however, there is a communal compost bin you need to understand the rules. Anything that is a community project will mean lots of rules - comply, or don't get involved - it's just easier that way. Ask your neighbor if there is a copy of the composting rules written down somewhere...

As for your doglet - lots of people like to offer 'well meaning' advice (just wait until you take your baby out without a hat!), but feel free to ignore her. I find that "gosh, that's interesting - however my trainer says..." is a good way to get out of these conversations. Invoking a higher authority usually works well with nosey neighbor types.

In short - where your activities impact your neighbors or share resources, you need to tow the line. But where the neighbor crosses the line into sheer nosiness, feel free to ignore her - but smile as you go about your business, for the sake of peaceful co-existence.

Good luck!


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OK I guess that you might want to use your assigned parking space but who on earth is going to see where people are parking? I don't! ...Then again I am not Swiss
What - you don't keep notes of the license plate numbers parked in the visitor's parking, and for how long? You don't compare the visiting list against the list of resident license plates that you spent hours compling? Integration FAIL.
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:37
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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OK I guess that you might want to use your assigned parking space but who on earth is going to see where people are parking? I don't! ...Then again I am not Swiss
This parking thing is so ridiculous.

We have guest parking and it was always empty, so we used to park there for a year like some other people of the building. One old lady decided it was enough and complained to the owner's management company. We had to take a parkign spot in the garage. Fine.

But now it is all the people around (other building) who park in OUR guest parking...

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Old 17.02.2011, 11:42
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Hi

Wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaints corner or not but it isn't really a complaint but a plea for advice! So here it is...

We live in a row of terraced houses in a small village in Canton Aargau. Our neighbour has decided to "advise" us on a series of matters. From refusing to let me use a compo-bag to dispose of green matter (they sell them at Migros!), lecturing my husband on the guests parking (I use it during the day as I am in and out a lot and have a small child to lug to and from the parking) to telling us that we shouldn't let our dog jump to catch her frizbee as it will hurt her back legs (she's a Springer Spaniel lol)

Is she genuinly trying to help but the language issue is getting in the way (she only speaking Swiss G and my husband is fairly fluent but not totally). Is this normal or does she just not like us. Any ideas on how to deal with her would be most welcome!

What do you reckon?
She is probably just an opinionated old dear with too much time on her hands. I'd ignore her regarding her advice about the dog and composte bag. You arent doing anything against the law. Smile sweetly and thank her for the advice the next time she does it. I usually do that when some meddlesome person gives their 2 rappens.

As for the visitor parking, she does have point. It is afterall a "visitors parking lot". Over time, I've learnt that its sacred. There are 4 just downstairs my building and the 2 offices below use them for their clients, which are never all full at the same time. We have a parking permit for other lots around the house which were full the day my husband decided to park there as he was in a rush despite my warnings. He promptly got told off. He came home rather sulky. hee hee
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:43
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Always thank her with a warm smile for her good advice, take notice, then do your own thing.
Why should we as foriegners in Switzerland take a back seat in such matters? We have as much right as anyone else to express our opinions and should not have to accept everything we are told with a smile
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:44
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

Hi All,

Thanks very much for all the advice! Made me seriously giggle! Ok plan of A. Going to park in garage from now on...good neighbour stuff. Going to ask Geminder if I can use compo bags...going to smile at her A LOT and then basically just get on with my own thing.

Thanks again everyone..advice was great and you really lightened my day

Ali
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:45
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

I agree with what others said about the parking.

For the compost bin, you need to do a bit of research, it could in fact be an issue. Check first your contract, then any house rules/group of house rules or planning regs. of the area, and then the commune regs. Some communes restrict the use of these. If in the clear on all these, I would politely tell her off or ask further if she has any contradicting info.

As for the dog, just none of her business, but try to keep on good terms with her for everyone's sake.
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:49
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Why should we as foriegners in Switzerland take a back seat in such matters? We have as much right as anyone else to express our opinions and should not have to accept everything we are told with a smile
Huh? He didn't say that as a foreigner you should do this.

He is just using common sense of not making a big thing out of it and let the lady talks without taking it personnally. And you avoid unecessary bad relationship with the neighbour...

Some people like to use the foreigner's card like some use the racist's card...

Geeez!
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Old 17.02.2011, 11:51
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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Why should we as foriegners in Switzerland take a back seat in such matters? We have as much right as anyone else to express our opinions and should not have to accept everything we are told with a smile
For a quiet life?

To me, there's a difference between accepting what you've been told and do it, VERSUS giving them a patronising smile, nodding furiously and promptly ignoring it afterwards. The latter being one of my favourite treatment for busybodies.

Not my fault if they didnt catch the sacarsm
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Old 17.02.2011, 12:03
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Re: Neighbour issues...help please

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There is worse. Residents in an appartment block in Geneva received a letter from the Regie (management company) requesting the gentlemen not to use the toilet standing up after 22h00 !
thats sexist... it could be a girl
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