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Old 24.03.2011, 22:54
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

I argue not for the money but the attitude to purchases - these three are as if I buy one,so I'll get them all ( my wife last summer when sales were) - but does she really need theme even if not the same just because it is 1/2 or less the price each (women always need more cloths)
the fact that I don't work at the moment doesn't change my opinion but affects her although when I was working she had enough but couldn't act as such.
So money is reason for arguments indirectly as well
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  #22  
Old 24.03.2011, 23:05
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

What strikes me here is that it seems that it is the female who mostly gets to run the finances rather than the male & the general jist (it seems) is that men can't be trusted as much as women.

Quite interesting really as the words "you are not the one who has to make all the calculations & pay all the bills" as an opposition to spending on something is quite a frequent phrase.. but when I have said "OK, time we changed roles, I am going to run the finances.." it was met with great resistance.. I conclude, women don't trust men like men trust women!
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  #23  
Old 24.03.2011, 23:10
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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What strikes me here is that it seems that it is the female who mostly gets to run the finances rather than the male & the general jist (it seems) is that men can't be trusted as much as women.

Quite interesting really as the phrase "you are not the one who has to make all the calculations & pay all the bills" as an opposition to spending on something.. but when I have said "OK, time we changed roles, I am going to run the finances.." it was met great resistance.. I conclude, women don't trust men like men trust women!
Well, I've always controlled the finances.

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Old 24.03.2011, 23:13
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Well, I've always controlled the finances.

Tom
Seriously? What does it feel like? You are the first male I know of who does
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Old 24.03.2011, 23:15
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Seriously? What does it feel like? You are the first male I know of who does
Great!

Why don't all guys do it?

Tom
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Old 24.03.2011, 23:22
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Seriously? What does it feel like? You are the first male I know of who does
I also have full control on finances (bills, tax, etc...)
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Old 24.03.2011, 23:30
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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I also have full control on finances (bills, tax, etc...)
Especially necessary when you have tax bills to pay, and don't have it taken automatically!

Tom
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Old 25.03.2011, 02:01
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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What strikes me here is that it seems that it is the female who mostly gets to run the finances rather than the male & the general jist (it seems) is that men can't be trusted as much as women.

Quite interesting really as the words "you are not the one who has to make all the calculations & pay all the bills" as an opposition to spending on something is quite a frequent phrase.. but when I have said "OK, time we changed roles, I am going to run the finances.." it was met with great resistance.. I conclude, women don't trust men like men trust women!
We've always combined our money, although it was a bit of a struggle for my husband initially. In some ways he's very cautious with money and he didn't like losing complete control. I earned as much as him in those days so it wasn't like I was trying to fleece him. But in other ways he's a spendthrift - he does like gadgets, and if he wants something he will often just go and buy it. (Makes birthdays and xmas a nightmare for me!) We don't fight about money, but we did have quite a few "discussions" in the early days when things were tight. It was more about what each of our priorities were, and accepting that sometimes we had different priorities.

These days I don't work (well I work as a Mum), but I pay all the bills, etc. It's just easier because I open all the mail too.
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Old 25.03.2011, 02:05
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Especially necessary when you have tax bills to pay, and don't have it taken automatically!

Tom
My husband would rather I did all that too - he hates all the admin that we have to go through, particularly when it's in a different language.

BTW I wouldn't have a problem if he wanted to do it all either. In fact I'd prefer it....
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  #30  
Old 25.03.2011, 07:35
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Seriously? What does it feel like? You are the first male I know of who does
my husband does all the bills and taxes as well. One reason of course being that we live in France and I don't speak any French. I certainly don't mind that he is willing to be responsible for that. Technically I have more control over our money though and we discuss and agree on the investments.
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Old 25.03.2011, 07:43
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Great!

Why don't all guys do it?

Tom
Because bills would go unpaid, due to forget forgetfulness
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Old 25.03.2011, 07:59
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

No, because, despite the fact that we both like cartoons and science fiction, we're adults. Adults talk and plan together work things out. People who love each other consider the happiness of their spouse above their own. Just because you get to wear long pants and you have a beer belly (substitute dopey female equivalent) that you can't get rid of it doesn't make you an adult. I don't understand these issues you people have with 'control' unless you simply don't trust your spouse. If you don't trust your spouse, then money isn't the problem.
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  #33  
Old 25.03.2011, 07:59
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

No arguements here.

What's mine is hers.

What's hers is hers.
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  #34  
Old 25.03.2011, 08:28
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Do we argue about money? Yes a bit, but it has gotten better as we understand each other's needs.
Early on in our marriage, we argued. I've always been the major earner, but I tend to spend more easily. Then we went through a time when we didn't have much money, so, with her being better handling finances, she took control, and successfully navigated us through quite hard times. We maintained an overdraft, which grew at about 20 a month (this was a while ago), without paying a penny in interest, by carefully juggling credit card and bank account.

We still discuss some purchases - I'm more inclined not to worry about value for money, But we don't argue as such. Nowadays, I handle all the bill paying and accounts, since it involves internet banking, and my wife doesn't want to know about that! But I'm much better at it that I was 20 years ago.

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...We've shared everything since day one. I really don't understand people who have made a commitment to one another either in mortgage or marriage (ie the intention of spending the rest of your life with that person) and who still keep separate accounts and don't share everything. ..
From when we married we had a joint account, with equal access. However, now my wife is working again, after a break of quite a few years, she has her own account. It's not about not sharing (We've both got full access to all our accounts), but rather that she's more comfortable spending money that comes out of her account, than that which comes out of our (my) account.
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  #35  
Old 25.03.2011, 08:53
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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No arguements here.

What's mine is hers.

What's hers is hers.
That's exactly why the missus says .
Chez nous, it is I who sorts out all the finances and taxes, we have a separate household account, into which goes money for groceries, petrol etc. We put savings away every month and the rest stays in the jont account for everything else; going out, clothes, kids' stuff etc. I also put away a small amount into another account, which usually goes on pub nights .
We tend not to argue about money, but there is ciurrently a discussion as to whether we can afford to finance a leasing for a new car. Guess who is in which camp on that one
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Old 25.03.2011, 08:56
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Seriously? What does it feel like? You are the first male I know of who does
Hubby is in charge but I am the one giving the last ok. He does charts of budgets on excel and shows it to me. If I don't agree we talk and do new calculations. Taxes, investments are his job. He works in finance, I won't begin to tell him how to do his job, right?

If I need something, I take the card and buy it. If it is a big amount, I tell him, look for the best deal and buy it.

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No, because, despite the fact that we both like cartoons and science fiction, we're adults. Adults talk and plan together work things out. People who love each other consider the happiness of their spouse above their own. Just because you get to wear long pants and you have a beer belly (substitute dopey female equivalent) that you can't get rid of it doesn't make you an adult. I don't understand these issues you people have with 'control' unless you simply don't trust your spouse. If you don't trust your spouse, then money isn't the problem.
Someone told me something that goes into that direction:

If you want to spend you life with someone, if you want to share your bed with the same person for the rest of your life, you should be able to share your finance. Why money should be more private and precious than sex?

I thought it made sense!
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  #37  
Old 25.03.2011, 09:05
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

"Do you argue much about money?"

No - we argue about everything else
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Old 25.03.2011, 09:17
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

"Do you argue about money?"

No. We agree a price beforehand.
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  #39  
Old 25.03.2011, 09:42
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

No. Usually discussions are about how to finance whatever we need financing.

We are both relatively risk averse and ever since finishing my degree and deciding not to go back home for an easy life, I've managed my accounts quite carefully.

The Mrs was happy to tag along as she's even more of a saver than me.

As with many others here we share everything and have different budgets for different items (e.g. mortgage, health, food, utilities, holidays) as well as pocket money for ourselves and the children (although don't tell them as they don't know...) that we can use to spend on what we want.

Anything that doesn't have a pre-defined budget and needs buying is up for discussion, and we avoid any credit like the plague.
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Old 25.03.2011, 09:53
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

My girlfriend thinks I'm a mean git... and mostly she's correct but it's not because I want to be this way.

For the last few years I have been working in jobs where I have not earned fantastic amounts of money but I always knew that by turning the pennies a few times before spending I could save piles more money than on a salary back home. It worked. We have been able to buy two cars cash and she was awfully pleased about that!

Now I am studying and working only part time it's even worse but when it's all over I'll finally be able to have a good job and save while being more generous.

But mostly she understands and arguments about money are extremely rare. In fact she is slowly starting to see the sense in my ways and is finally starting to consider her own strategies for putting something on the side instead of constantly blowing most of her salary on clothes all the time!
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