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Old 25.03.2011, 13:47
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Try Excel.
You are missing the point Herr Karl. We use Excel too at home - without going into too many details, nothing, not even the most military and anal of financial planning prepares you for some curveballs life throws at you.

Just making a point that a little less rigidty and openess to that fact that your little Excel sheet works for you and your predictable family circumstances - but not everyone, might be a good thing, thats all.
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Old 25.03.2011, 13:55
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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You are missing the point Herr Karl. We use Excel too at home
How about powerpoint? Do you do full-fletched sales pitches when you want a new pair of shoes?
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Old 25.03.2011, 13:56
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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How about powerpoint? Do you do full-fletched sales pitches when you want a new pair of shoes?
No I prefer oral presentations.

On a serious note, most likely due to guilt, I've never once asked for anything like that for myself . I simply believe that such things are nice-to-haves, not must-haves when someone else is the main breadwinner. It isnt fair. Rather spend the money on something we both can mutually enjoy (of course I wouldnt say no if he buys them for me out of his own accord...)

Last edited by summerrain; 25.03.2011 at 14:08.
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Old 25.03.2011, 13:58
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Is this such a difficult concept? If everyone did it this way there would be nothing to argue about.


I'll take that as a tongue-in-cheek comment...

Our model pretty much follows nic80 and Phdoofus's examples. We share everything and my wife - at first - didn't like spending too much on herself as she hadn't earned the money (although she seems to have gotten over that more recently ).

But to suggest that you can just split everything, make savings and then never argue about what to buy... a little simplistic, no?

Extreme examples, but what happens if you think you need a car and it should be a Hummer but she thinks it should be a Mini (or vice versa, don't want to be accused of discrimination...), or that you shouldn't save for your third pillar, or that you should put that extra bit of spare cash into the mortgage and not the 50' plasma screen you've been eyeing up?

Excel doesn't cover that...
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Last edited by Carlos R; 25.03.2011 at 14:10. Reason: typo
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  #65  
Old 25.03.2011, 14:00
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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No I prefer oral presentations.
With lots of excited hand movements and generally a little happy dance
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:04
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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With lots of excited hand movements and generally a little happy dance

by him, after the oral..erm..presentation?
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  #67  
Old 25.03.2011, 14:04
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

I am in the same situation that Nic80. It is a learning process and I am so proud of my husband to think like this, it is a great definition of a mariage and family for me. I sacrificed a lot for his own career so for him it is normal that I get something out of it too. So yes, what is his, is mine too.

Funny enough I am from a wealthy family and growned up with more than I needed but I lived poorly most of my adult life.

Having to count every cents until the end of the month and did acrobatic calculation to finish the month with food in my fridge. So I learned the hard way to save money and how to redistribute assets.

I never been the rich spoiled kind of girl...

Hubby is from a much lower income family but never lived pooly his whole adult life. He never had to count twice if he could spend the money or not...

So we are actually a very good match!
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:06
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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With lots of excited hand movements and generally a little happy dance
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by him, after the oral..erm..presentation?
Ladies!!!!! I am shocked
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:09
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Ladies!!!!! I am shocked
Hey, at least they know how to spend the money without hubby to complain....
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:09
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Ladies!!!!! I am shocked
Where there's a will, there's a way... as the old saying goes...
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:37
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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No I prefer oral presentations.

On a serious note, most likely due to guilt, I've never once asked for anything like that for myself . I simply believe that such things are nice-to-haves, not must-haves when someone else is the main breadwinner. It isnt fair. Rather spend the money on something we both can mutually enjoy (of course I wouldnt say no if he buys them for me out of his own accord...)
I wish the wife had your issues...
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Old 25.03.2011, 14:39
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Try Excel.

Excel or power point are just tools to keep your budget on track,they may help you better plan but they rely on the data by you 'two' and that is often the reason of healthy/heated or ugly aruguments.
And in life one needs to plan long term too, input will keep changing too for unconsidered scenarios(unplanned baby/job loss/trip/moving out of the country/accident etc etc) excel is not the solution for everything.

I agree one can not simply continue living like a high school grad , but there needs to be a balance.So it is the common understanding between the two that would help.
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Old 25.03.2011, 15:08
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

Agreed. Tools are not as important as communication. In the US some research has indicated that money fights are a symptom of other relationship issues. I'll post back soon on my own experience in this area as it's a voluntary service I'm trying to develop in terms of counselling for couples.
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  #74  
Old 25.03.2011, 15:18
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

Excel wouldn't work for us. I've not got the inclination, and she doesn't like using computers. When we had to do it, she did it all the budgeting on paper. Thankfully that's many years behind us. Anyway, I rarely know how much I'm going to be earning from one week to the next. Certainly not from the beginning of the year.
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Old 25.03.2011, 15:33
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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Ladies!!!!! I am shocked
Well, we at least know now how husbands are convinced to buy designer bags...

I know that around 70% of purchase decisions are made by females. That's a lot of oral presentations then...
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  #76  
Old 25.03.2011, 16:12
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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I earn money and give to my family and they give it back to me for my expenses.
Quite...

And welcome to the forum btw
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Old 25.03.2011, 16:35
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

This thread sucks.
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Old 25.03.2011, 16:38
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

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This thread sucks.
You still banging on about oral presentations?
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Old 25.03.2011, 21:17
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

Well I do have a special method for couples. It is called empathic opportunity coupling and it actually helps with things like this; though your situation sounds quite manageable.
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Old 26.03.2011, 09:08
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Re: Do you argue much about money at home?

My wfe and I have never really had separate accounts or, rather, separate finances. Perhaps it helped that in our first year of marriage she was working, and I was still a uni student ...
We have a few different accounts, but handle them together - one has my salary deposited each month, a second has her salary deposited each month, then the other one is separate.
My wife likes to know where everything is going, so she wants to handle the budgeting - but we do the bills each month together. I generally have a reasonable idea of how much money is available without consulting the budget ... so don't feel the need to fight for 'control'.
I'm also generally less likely to impulse-spend (other than on little treats for the kids), but my wife does not often spend money on 'non-essentials' either. My biggest downfall is books ... hers is anything in an op shop (brockenhaus, or brockie). Neither of us really goes in for big spending on clothes or 'gadgets'.

Can't recall the origin, but I like this (admittedly sexist) quote: "A successful man is a man who earns more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is a woman who has found such a man.".
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