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Old 07.04.2011, 14:48
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My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

Having just arrived in CH, my wife and I were delighted to be able to find an appartment that came with access to a Nuclear Bunker. It was good to know that all eventualities had been covered by our land lord. It was therefore with great dismay that I went down there for the first time I found it was full of rowing machines, what looked like discarded christmas presents, skiis etc. On seeing what people have placed in their allocated space, I was at a loss as to what I should place in the area allocated to my wife and I.

I know that this may be culture shock, but my immediate reaction was that I should put bedding down there along with canned foods, batteries etc. Being new to this I was confused to say the least. This confusion spread to mild panic when I thought it would be useful to have toilet paper. It was only then that it dawned on me, we have a nuclear bunker with no toilet!

I had to break it to my wife, we have been conned.

Since getting hold of the appartment at the start of the year, Zug Kanton had a Nuclear Siren test, which has left me even more concerned, as where do I go if I am caught short, too far from the safety of my bunker, if some one does decide to attack us.

I used to be a very calm person before moving to CH, but now I cannot but think "What if??"

Would appreciate it if anyone else has answers to the following:
What do you do if you bunker is lacking a toilet?
What are the vital pieces of equipment to have in your bunker?
What do you do if you are caught short and cannot get home in time?
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Old 07.04.2011, 14:53
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

What do you do if you bunker is lacking a toilet? A bucket?

What are the vital pieces of equipment to have in your bunker? A bucket?

What do you do if you are caught short and cannot get home in time? You have four minutes to find a bucket.
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Old 07.04.2011, 14:54
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

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I used to be a very calm person before moving to CH, but now I cannot but think "What if??"

Would appreciate it if anyone else has answers to the following:
What do you do if you bunker is lacking a toilet?
What are the vital pieces of equipment to have in your bunker?
What do you do if you are caught short and cannot get home in time?
Mac the Knife - chill.

Answers to your questions

(1) pee in your pants
(2) a chemical toilet perhaps, oh and some canned food (steer clear of prunes) - oh and clean pants
(3) pee in your pants

Enjoy Switzerland!

Last edited by ecb; 07.04.2011 at 15:06.
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:00
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My Junk Shelter is full of nuclear stuff!

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Would appreciate it if anyone else has answers to the following:
What do you do if you bunker is lacking a toilet?
What are the vital pieces of equipment to have in your bunker?
What do you do if you are caught short and cannot get home in time?
Ah, the age-old questions

1/ Sublet it to students.

2/ Mandatory: wine collection; broken TV that weighs a ton. Optional: pair of old skis.

3/ Head to the nearest D-Vino.
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:06
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

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What do you do if you bunker is lacking a toilet? A bucket?

What are the vital pieces of equipment to have in your bunker? A bucket?

What do you do if you are caught short and cannot get home in time? You have four minutes to find a bucket.
Bugger, sod's law I told my wife to leave the bucket when we moved!! How bloody typical.
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:19
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

Very interesting questions.

We also have a nuclear bunker in our cellar. Ours, however, IS equipped with toilets .

Considering that yours isn't, I can only suggest that you invest in a:
Commode

I would also invest in several:
Sealable buckets

Of course those would be of little use without a month or so worth of:
Canned/nonperishable goods

For your health:
Medical supplies

and sanity:
A deck of cards

Puddy
It looked much better with the images (which refuse to work! )
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:23
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

Ours (if being honest) only has the customary tools and sporting goods...

The neighbours with a supermarket in theirs have moved out... Bugger!
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:23
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

reminds me of the huge bunker that is near luzern, only problem is it can only sustain people for 2 weeks. not really worth the effort
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:26
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

Ok... the thing everyone has here is not a nuclear bunker in which you can survive for weeks. Otherwise you need water supply (and one that is independent from the outside world), electricity (with generators that are better then the ones from Fukushima...), high end air filtering (you can have a look at Ghadafis bunker on youtube.)...
It's a bomb shelter in which you sit during a bombing raid - not for the weeks or years of nuclear winter that would have followed WW3 if it had taken place between the USSR and the US.

Most important thing to store in your shelter: Sufficient poison for all your neighbours...
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:29
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

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reminds me of the huge bunker that is near luzern, only problem is it can only sustain people for 2 weeks. not really worth the effort
So it is true that if caught short there is somewhere to flee to? Are all the stories of the bunkers under the mountains true and if so surely they have toilets!

It may seem like I come back to the same point, but surely if you are going to survive the destruction of man you wish to do it with your dignity intact. No point coming out covered in human waste.
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:30
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Re: My Nuclear Bunker is full of Junk!

stock it with wine like the vast majority do.... In the event of a nuclear attack, you can get so pissed you won't care where you pee
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