I can sell you some legs for a coffee table at under 5,000 CHF a piece. Please PM me if interested.

Errr... whos suggesting getting divorced?

You sure its Feng Shui?

Well I'm not.

You can easily work out the 'single male' you're right...


I drive the OH mad with my minimal style, no one can even come out of the kitchen with a cup or plate....& the cellar is full with stuff that should be in the flat...

Could be worse, you could be taking crap from your boss's at work. No wonder you have all the time in the world to come up with such interesting threads, you even beat some women to it.

If you dont mind me asking, how did you get castrated?

I remember telling the sales girl in WHSMITH that she would sell more Feng Shui books if they were on the other side of the shelf and lower down. I'm not sure if she was puzzled or just thought I was a madman.

Maybe both?

nor knives! "cuts" or "pierces" the luck apparently!

My father in law used to keep a huge arowana. Next to the koi, its very popular in Asian culture for luck. The fengshui master advised him to get it for the family's luck/peace because apparently my husband, my sister in law and mother in law all have alot of "fire". My husband decided to help clean the tank one day and out of mischief, decided to play with the arowana using the water hose, spraying water at it to make it swim around. Little boys!

The fish was found floating on the surface 12 hours later (probably died of stress). My husband never owned up to the deed but the family survived. So bollocks to fengshui I say, the story still makes me chuckle till today though.

__________________
Remember when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap the mother-f***er upside the head.

Funny that. Because traditional chinese toilets are holes in the floor. You just squat and let your chi flow out.

you know now where the french word "chi-er" comes from

I recently got a feng shui book hoping to change the luck of my home. "Move Your Furniture, Change Your Life". Ha! It downright gave me a headache figuring it all out and I'm too cheap to get a professional so I just hung up some shiny things and small mirrors outside the house to deflect the chi of anyone nearing my house. I figure if I can't clean up my crap the least I can do is deflect people from visiting it and finding me out. It seems to be working so far -either that or the smelly rubbish bags I keep putting out full of baby diapers.

Let me point you in the right direction>

I ad some of that feng shui once. Was alright I spose. The chicken chow mein was better.

Probably just a madman...

Nails are part of Feng Shui.


Transition@ Hope you didnt mind my earlier post, I was only joking. Apologies if it offended you.

I absolutely refuse to hold the legs of the dining table together after a full manicure!