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Old 26.06.2011, 17:56
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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Thanks for pointing that out. I would never have realised after being a muslim for the last 40 years and having lived in Dubai and Abu Dhabi for 6 years and having a wife who has lived in the Middle East for nearly a quarter of a century.

Before you start spouting off on what is or is not sensitive, get hold of the idea that some people might be a bit more clued up on Islam and its many, many shades than you are.
Clearly you aren't one of them however. And this isn't really about Islam, its about showing sensitivity. If you imagine there's a one in twenty chnace the recipients of your cake will be unhappy because the vanilla essence is alcohol based, why give it to them?
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:04
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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Clearly you aren't one of them however. And this isn't really about Islam, its about showing sensitivity. If you imagine there's a one in twenty chnace the recipients of your cake will be unhappy because the vanilla essence is alcohol based, why give it to them?
And I bow in the presence of a master, o great Imam!

One would think that the people hosting the barbeque are rather above being upset by alcohol based vanilla, which if you bothered thinking about it, is not alcoholic anymore as the alcohol gets burned off in the cooking process.
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:27
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

Personally, I'd play it ultra safe. I would also agree that sensitivity is the order of the day here.

Until you get to know them better and are thus in a position of knowing for sure what may or may not be acceptable to them, then I'd go with the nice house plant or flowers ideas as others have already suggested. I've yet to meet anyone who would take offence to either of those for whatever reason.

Second option is to ask them directly what they'd like you to bring. I'm sure they wouldn't mind you doing that.
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:31
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

So to make it short, read back what I said and do that! You'll be safe and sensitive and they will appreciate it a lot.

And if you come into my home, bring the alcohol. Hubby won't drink it, but I will!

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Old 26.06.2011, 18:33
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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So to make it short, read back what I said and do that! You'll be safe and sensitive and they will appreciate it a lot.

And if you come into my home, bring the alcohol. Hubby won't drink it, but I will!

For all the moderating work you have caused us, not to mention tips and assistance from members on here, you ought to be buying us drinks

I have to admit.... you're the best EF!
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:34
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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So to make it short, read back what I said and do that! You'll be safe and sensitive and they will appreciate it a lot.

And if you come into my home, bring the alcohol. Hubby won't drink it, but I will!

I'll also drink the alcohol lol. As before, to play it safe I wouldn't bring cakes etc unless properly wrapped and stamped. After having visited the first time you'll be able to properly gauge how religious they are and bring a good present next time.
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:44
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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For all the moderating work you have caused us, not to mention tips and assistance from members on here, you ought to be buying us drinks

I have to admit.... you're the best EF!
One word:

Pregnancy!

Now I am back at a nice, smilley and funny* Nil! I had to keep you on you tip toes! Come on!

For you, I'll buy you drinks anytime! I stand by my words: EF is the best*!

* And Fluffeh.... Gosh!
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Old 26.06.2011, 18:51
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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Little advise needed.

I've been invited for a barbecue, but the hosts are muslim (though swiss and I must confess to know very little about muslim traditions). I usually bring whine, but because of religious belives, they are not allowed to drink it. Since I don't want to offend anyone, what could I bring that is considered a friendly gift for a barbecue (meat is not an option)? It's my first swiss barbecue, so I'm trying not to step on my toes here

Thank you for your advises


Religious issues aside, I always check with the hosts before I attend a BBQ and ask them what I can bring.

As it often happens that several people had the same great ideia and show up with a Tiramisu or potato salad.

So it will be easier for the host if he can coordinate ahead of who will bring some additional beverages, salads, desserts etc.

If they give you the green light to bring along whatever, then I second the suggestions to bring a nice dessert. As you are Portuguese you probably know how to make yummie pastries...
some of the best I ever ate in my life in Lisbon.
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Old 26.06.2011, 19:00
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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Clearly you aren't one of them however. And this isn't really about Islam, its about showing sensitivity. If you imagine there's a one in twenty chnace the recipients of your cake will be unhappy because the vanilla essence is alcohol based, why give it to them?
I've a friend who otherwise isn't an observant Muslim at all. But when it comes to what he eats and drinks, he's very careful. For example, he wouldn't use a throat spray that was alcohol based. It makes sense to me, therefore, to avoid anything that might embarass, until you know the people better. E.g you turn up and they're halfway through a bacon sandwich, and washing it down with a gin and tonic.
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Old 26.06.2011, 19:03
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

I honestly don't get this thread.

I grew up with Muslim classmates and most of the points here are absolute non-topics for central European muslims. No, I would not bring a bottle of red unless I know that the host does actually enjoys it. Yes, most German-Turkish people I met so far would actually prefer me to bring a bottle than some vase, flowers or cookies. No, I would not bring myself a lovely pork Schwenkbraten....

But the alcohol in the baking vanilla? I know that the Pakistani immigrants in the UK are a bit more serious about these things, but I am sure that you will have a hard time finding a Swiss muslim not eating Sprüngli cakes. No, I did not meet a Muslim living in Switzerland who would not eat some salad that was made in a kitchen that was non-Halal, so bringing one does not mean that the host will trash it as soon as you don't look.

I am not saying this to provocate, but because I have the strong feeling that some of the PC brigade here overestimate the reality and stereotype on their own much more. I made experiences with Muslim customers visiting Switzerland that did surprise me - Our planned set menu on purpose avoided pork, but they refused eating chicken as well (cause it wasn't slaughtered the halal way...). I honestly haven't met a Swiss born Muslim who took things that far. At all.

So unless the OP is invited to some people who already look fundamental, I think a Sprüngli cake is absolutely safe - even without halal sticker.
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Old 26.06.2011, 19:03
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

i would appreciate a feedback from Helm on her BBQ session and the gift she brought along.....it will cut all the hairsplitting quarrels (and don't ask if said hair is covered by a veil or not)
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Old 26.06.2011, 19:20
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

How was the berbecue ?
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Old 26.06.2011, 20:57
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

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Might also take a couple of pens with me, since they have 4 kids!
I think a box of cheap puzzle would do a trick for 4 kids so they can share it, or a game (cards, ludo), I saw nice ones in Migros.

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(how many Catholics do you know who have ten kids?).
Two Irish families I know have both 11 kids
So hard not to forget all the names, Paddy, Tommy, Jimmy...

I think I would have brought halva, not sure if it actually is Muslim, I learned to eat it in London, and If I remember well, it was Turkish. I am hooked ever since. Halva sweetened with grapefruit juice, aaaaaah. YOu can easiy find it in Turkish stores here, hippie health food stores and such.

Otherwise, we can make comments about how adjusted immigrant families are, we still have no idea, though, who OP's friends are at all. I have met some seriously observant folks here. Fruits (and halva for me in case they don't eat it) sound quite reasonable.
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  #54  
Old 26.06.2011, 21:33
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Re: Advice needed - BBQ hosted by Swiss Muslims

What the hell, guys? My question was innocent enough! You don't need to start killing each other! Vanilla alchool? Seriously? It's like someone wondering whether they should bring no sweets or meat during a Easter barbecue in my house...

If they were extreme muslims, I would have asked them (though I doubt extreme muslims would invite me...). But they are the quite "light" egyptian type (only noticed the no alchool tradition).

I took the advises from the nice people out there and made a strawberry pie (no animal origin jelly), took a little box of crayons for the smaller kids and a Calatrava book for the oldest to see (since he is a fan).

Everyone ate and was happy ^^

Thank you again all of you that gave a helpful hint!!!! <3




P.S.: You guys really need to lighten up... It seems that just mentioning the word muslim gets the whole group fired up...
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