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  #81  
Old 01.07.2011, 23:06
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

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I have a close friend who I have known for years. We often have dinner together, at his place or mine. We both have girlfriends, but neither of us live with them. I invited him to dinner at my place recently, going to great trouble to prepare to make him welcome. However, one day before, he cancelled, saying he had to see his girlfriend that night. I was furious, and still am. He sent me an SMS to apologise after telling me personally, but I didnt answer, as I feel pretty let down. He's a good mate.

Do you think I am wrong to be angry? We work in the same bank, but I have now avoided him for 3 days. I dont want to stop being mates with a good friend, football mate, drinking buddy, but I am pretty pissed off. I hate cooking, but went out of my way to get in stuff for a nice evening. My girlfriend says drop him, as you just dont do that to a friend.

What do you think?

Getting this upset over a dinner cancellation is just silly, especially if he is your best friend. I'm sure you went through a lot preparing everything and you definitely gave your best, you probably even pictured how the whole dinner would be like (I would do that too), and that's fine.

Please don't get me wrong, I would probably feel upset and a bit disappointed if it happened to me, but I would also quickly realise I'm being childish.
First, because he did cancel in time, one day in advance is more than enough among friends.
Second, because it's not a big deal, there are so many other things in life much more serious, hurtful and unjust.
And third, because like it or not, things like this happen when you are in a relationship. And it's not because we change or we want to hurt our friends, it's just that sometimes we have to choose one thing over another.
This doesn't mean he cares less about you. He just decided spending the night with his girlfriend was more important. The reasons for that can be many, as some already suggested, maybe she was sick, maybe he was, maybe they had an argument, maybe he wanted to impress her or maybe they simply missed each other's company. Didn't you ever choose to spend some quality time with a girl instead of hanging out with your friends?

My advice is, stop avoiding your friend and start talking with him, it's the only way you'll find some peace. After a nice chat, things always look better and clearer.

About your girlfriend's advice... now that is something that would make me really upset... perhaps all three of you should sit down for a talk together...
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  #82  
Old 02.07.2011, 08:19
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

Kārmi, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Of course, I realise that I was making a mountain out of a molehill, and my girlfriends remark was also in the heat of the moment because she saw I was annoyed. They get on well.

What amazed me was the vitriol my polite question produced. Hmmmm. I am now gay, probably had trouble finishing high school, need to HTFU, ignored my mate (avoiding him isnt quite the same and passes unnoticed!), could be a 16 yr old schoolgirl, and so on. Hilarious! Nearly started WW3 with my innocent question! I am clearly not the only one who makes a mountain out of a molehill, though I am glad I made some of you laugh.

Actually, I sent him a msg thanking him for his apology and telling him not to worry about it. We went out for a few beers last night, and the incident is forgotten.
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  #83  
Old 02.07.2011, 08:39
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

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Kārmi, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Of course, I realise that I was making a mountain out of a molehill, and my girlfriends remark was also in the heat of the moment because she saw I was annoyed. They get on well.
Good to know you've "made up"and everything's back on track. As for the comments here - they're pretty tame compared with what one sees on most forums :-O

Everything gets exaggerated and somewhat misconstrued on the internet. Taking everything that's posted at face value is a sure way to madness and a padded cell!

And yes, I'm afraid the thread did provide some of us with a laugh (unfortunately comedy is often a bit mean). Hopefully no real harm done, and next time something similar happens you'll be able to put it into a little more perspective.
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  #84  
Old 02.07.2011, 11:02
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

You still haven't told us what you were going to cook?!!

Glad you are friends again.

But come on, your op did sound a bit suss... (oops, i've suddenly become an Ozzy!!)
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  #85  
Old 02.07.2011, 12:03
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

Awwww is this thread still alive ?
Me thinks the OP has taken the point.
nice day out no ?
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  #86  
Old 02.07.2011, 12:42
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

Awww!

They made out! Oups, no make up!

I am feeling so touched now!

Congrats to OP.
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  #87  
Old 02.07.2011, 16:36
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

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Actually, I sent him a msg thanking him for his apology and telling him not to worry about it. We went out for a few beers last night, and the incident is forgotten.
Good to hear. Life really is too short. Live, love and laugh like there is no tomorrow.
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Old 02.07.2011, 19:41
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

Maybe his girlfriend is the problem and she said he couldn't go cause she was jelous, he might still be a cool dude but shes the problem
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  #89  
Old 02.07.2011, 20:02
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

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Good to hear. Life really is too short. Live, love and laugh like there is no tomorrow.

So sad, so poignant to read your words today of all days.
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  #90  
Old 08.07.2011, 16:35
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

I am constantly turning down dinner invitations. I don't mind if someone turns mine down (more food for me- I'm a really good cook). But I do get annoyed when people turn down an excellent opportunity to network or thank people who have helped them by just spending time with them
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  #91  
Old 08.07.2011, 16:52
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Re: Turned down my dinner invitation

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What do you think?
is it THAT time of the month??
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