A young lad died last weekend (age 16) in an accident. His funeral is this afternoon, and the children from his school have been invited. My daughter is attending, but doesn't know what's appropriate to wear. I've suggested dark clothes, but I don't really know.

(When I had a friend die at 18 in the UK, we wore suits and black ties).

Very sad.

I am so sorry to read this. I would send your daughter in black clothes.

Very sad indeed. Since coming back to live here, I've been quite surprised at the casual way people dress for funerals here now. Anything goes, it seems. But I'd say sober, smart casual will be fine- too formal is not necessary.

I've passed the info. on. I think there will be a good turnout.

I've noticed with funerals for younger people and for kids, the families often request that people wear cheerful clothes to make it more of a celebration of their life than the mourning of their tragic passing.

One little girl who lived round by my mum in the UK who died after a battle with cancer had asked that everyone wear pink at her funeral, which I thought was nice.

We've not received any specific instructions, so I think it's best to play safe. I told my daughter that a funeral is not just to mourn a loss, but also to celebrate the life that was had.

I've only been to one funeral in my life (fortunately) and it was in Switzerland. My Swiss in-laws, family, and friends all insisted I didn't need to wear black. Just something clean and casual would be fine. I went ahead and split the difference by wearing a black summer dress that was still quite casual. I was more dressed up than most there.

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of the young fellow.

Hubby's Müti (grandmother) passed the summer after I arrived, the instructions she gave to family were to keep things cheerful. Even so, most of what we had that was appropriate for any occasion of note is dark, so even with those instructions, I noticed many wearing dark general colors but with bright contrasts. M-i-l was wearing navy with a pink shirt, hubby wearing black suit but with a bright blue shirt, many were dressed similarly.

All the kids though were dressed "presentably" in nice clothes, more along the line of what I was used to as something just slightly under "Sunday Best" rather than funeral colors.

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The Joys of Opticianry

It's been a huge shock to the community. At the "graduation" from secondary school last night, we all stood for a few moments in silence, in memory. Some people were visibly quite upset.

Perhaps have someone contact the parents e.g. a teacher and ask if they have any particular wishes for the funeral.

Cheers,
Nick

The funeral was at 2:30pm today. Some teenagers wore dark clothes, some wore light summer clothers. My daughter says the latter were not out of place at all - made the whole thing less formal and sombre. Obviously it was totally tragic, but it wasn't the horrendously awful, miserable experience she feared. Each guest was invited to take a rose, stand by the grave, say good-bye and cast the rose into the grave. It was very colourful.

She's going to write in her will - no one to wear black! Loads of colour.

'Good' to hear the experience was moving rather than traumatic. Of course it would have been helpful for the family to pass on a request for what to wear, etc, but int he circumstances I suppose it was the very last thing on their mind.

What happened to her school friend, if it is OK to ask?

When my mother died 3 years ago, I had it in the newspaper announcement and in personal invitation that on the wish of her, people should abstain from wearing anything in black. The Reverend (a nice lady) during the ceremony talked about the life of Mum with countless nice anecdotes. The music chosen was of a positive nature.

Unknown. It was definitely an accident, but the details have not been released. It appears there's no culpability or blame.