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Old 03.07.2011, 12:12
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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No idea what sh1t you are talking about here, what your experiences are. But Ceppych is trying to find a way to defuse the situation and allow you to go on and live peacefully. If it means an apology and a bottle of wine- then so be it. The best would be to talk it out quietly with him- but I guess language is a problem. One reason why I always say, you might not need to learn the language for your work, but it makes all the difference in a situation like this.

When we were kids (I grew up in CH) - ringing peoples' doorbells and running away was a favourite activity, along with scrumping fruit- so I'm not surprised he thinks that your child was messing around if it happened more than once. Perhaps he suffers from insomnia, or works shifts- so being disturbed is particularly important. NO EXCUSE though for his rude behaviour, none whatsoever, but I'd say idiots like him are not a particularly Swiss invention.

A bit like at a junction with the green light in your favour, but with a truck at great speed jumping the red light - being 'right' serves little purpose. Why not get a card and get a Swiss colleague to write a note of apology explaining your child just made a mistake because he is shortsighted, or something, get a sticker for the bell so id doesn't happen again. Then if the situation deterioriates, at least you will be able to say you really tried to defuse situation, which will go in your favour with the landlord.
No need to curse dear. I believe the Japanese sent a bottle of wine with an apology note attached after Pearl Harbor. Didn't work.
See! Humor diffuses situations best.
But what you are suggesting is to go buy a child a toy after s/he has a tantrum. It's positively reinforcing bad behavior and I will not do that. We will, and have apologized and that should be enough. But you are right that there is no excuse for his behavior.
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  #42  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:14
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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The important thing is that this shouldn't have a negative effect on your daughter. If it was my kid, I would make it quite clear that the guy is a lunatic. In fact, I would probably belittle him in front of the kid, just to show them that people who beat their chest tend to be quite insecure.

Don't actually beat him up, though. You don't want the kid to think that's how you solve problems.
She knows he's a bully. We told her. We would never raise a fist to anyone. It is not our way, and she knows that too.
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  #43  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:18
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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Rest in Switzerland is really important, I remember when I was young me and my brothers where playing football at noon by our grand mas house in St Gallen and everyone yelled at us for making noise, some swiss can get insanly angry if you disturb there rest. I assume that the man your talking about is one of them. Still it was inexcusable what he did but if you try go to the police you'll probably end up getting a ticket for disturbing him (yes there are laws against is).
I think you just have the misfortune of living next to the guy most swiss are not like that.
Sure, the CRIMES are called
- Ruhestörung
- Belästigung
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  #44  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:27
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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The appropriate "Swiss" response to such a lunatic is to take your right index finger and tap it repeatedly against the right side of your head (4 or 5 taps to the temple area). You then turn around and walk away without ever saying a word to him, not even an apology.
You also can wait until the screamer gets out of air and then dryly ask "aber, äää, suscht gaaat's no ? " and turn away.
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  #45  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:41
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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He's obviously an a#@%&*e !!!

Hey, you could also put a small little sticker-thingy (pink-panther?) beside your buzzer, so she recognizes your buzzer instantly!!
...and while you're in the store get one for your angry neighbors buzzer as well?
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  #46  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:42
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Angry Swiss dude update...

So my husband and daughter are walking the dog again this morning and they are in the walk way just outside the building and here comes angry dude and his wife. My husband said nothing. Looked at him, but said nothing. Then the wife begins to complain to my husband. She didn't yell, and tried to be very nice (I could here this from our flat). My husband said that we will put a sticker identifying OUR buzzer so it doesn't happen again (thank you very much!!!!! ) . Then angry dude starts yelling in German and waving his arms again, but directing it at his wife, presumably so she could translate. But of course his yelling gets my husband upset. So he starts speaking loudly and assertively. He tells Mrs. Angry that although we are all learning German, screaming at us in German wasn't helping because we have only been here 6 months and are trying our best. Then my hubby states again that we will put a sticker up so it doesn't happen again. He yells again. My husband then tells Mrs. Angry that her husband made crude gestures at him in front of our daughter. And then she tells MY husband to calm down and lower HIS voice. WTF????? My husband, very calmly, says to her, "why are you embarrassed about your husband's behavior?" She says no, and then very "nicely" says that we never came over to introduce ourselves when we moved in. Okay- well, that might be true, but where we come from, the neighbors come by to welcome you. But both points are neither here nor there in that we certainly didn't mean to offend anyone and are on very good terms with the rest of the building's occupants.

Anyway- my husband apologizes for this and then she apologizes for her husband's yelling. My husband wishes HER a good day and everyone leaves. The husband never apologizes. My daughter is hysterical and crying and now doesn't want to go out an play anymore because she is terrified that she will make a mistake again (regardless of the sticker) and also scared that she will run into this guy again. We told her that she can't let him get to her, but she needs to make an effort to be quiet and pay attention as much as possible.

I think we will go to our neighbors and see what they say. We are friendly with one neighbor in particular, who is a Swiss native, and perhaps she can shed some light on either the guy and his wife, or the situation in general. And by the way- the Swiss neighbor with whom we are friendly, came to us to introduce herself and has been nothing but VERY kind and nice. Of course, we have responded likewise.

I actually now also feel sorry for the guy's wife. I hope she is not victim to his anger and he has not scared her like he has our little girl.
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  #47  
Old 03.07.2011, 12:44
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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I know the norm here is to enable such behaviour from the natives. I'm just sick of that sh1t.
Depends on what "enable" means. If "enable" means A) to let it pass at the moment it happens but thereafter to try to have a decent talk with him, alright, but if "enable" means B) to accept it endlessly, there must be a NO. And I daresay that version A) is the version generally taken here.
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  #48  
Old 03.07.2011, 13:02
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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I agree that anger and rage are NOT a CH invention. Of course I know that. BUT, there seems to be a theme of outrageous anger amongst older Swiss when things aren't perfect. I have noticed this, heard stories about it and now have been victim and witness to it. Do I think all Swiss are angry? No. I am part Italian by blood, and so I know not think all Italians are mafia. I do, however, invoke my American right to think that all politicians named Bush are warmongering idiots. That being said, I am also a quarter Swiss on my Dad's side. My Dad never yelled at me like this dude yelled at my daughter. This guy is the French word for shower.
Douche or Pluie or Orage ?
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  #49  
Old 03.07.2011, 13:03
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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Douche or Pluie or Orage ?
The one beginning with D.
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:04
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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I take my German lesson once a week for 90 minuten. I also speak Spanish, a bit of Italian and a teeny bit of French. I am not your typical lazy American when it comes to languages being only 2nd generation immigrant on me mum's side.
Mr Grumpy Git possibly also speaks a bit Italian and two bits of French. Might be worth to check it.
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  #51  
Old 03.07.2011, 13:09
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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Mr Grumpy Git possibly also speaks a bit Italian and two bits of French. Might be worth to check it.
Not a bad idea. Perhaps I should just answer in Spanish. It would probably leave him as clueless as I am when he he speeds through his German rants. UGH. Grant a newbie a learning curve! Sheesh! (Angry guy- not you).
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:36
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

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So my husband and daughter are walking the dog again this morning and they are in the walk way just outside the building and here comes angry dude and his wife. My husband said nothing. Looked at him, but said nothing. Then the wife begins to complain to my husband. She didn't yell, and tried to be very nice (I could here this from our flat). My husband said that we will put a sticker identifying OUR buzzer so it doesn't happen again (thank you very much!!!!! ) . Then angry dude starts yelling in German and waving his arms again, but directing it at his wife, presumably so she could translate. But of course his yelling gets my husband upset. So he starts speaking loudly and assertively. He tells Mrs. Angry that although we are all learning German, screaming at us in German wasn't helping because we have only been here 6 months and are trying our best. Then my hubby states again that we will put a sticker up so it doesn't happen again. He yells again. My husband then tells Mrs. Angry that her husband made crude gestures at him in front of our daughter. And then she tells MY husband to calm down and lower HIS voice. WTF????? My husband, very calmly, says to her, "why are you embarrassed about your husband's behavior?" She says no, and then very "nicely" says that we never came over to introduce ourselves when we moved in. Okay- well, that might be true, but where we come from, the neighbors come by to welcome you. But both points are neither here nor there in that we certainly didn't mean to offend anyone and are on very good terms with the rest of the building's occupants.

Anyway- my husband apologizes for this and then she apologizes for her husband's yelling. My husband wishes HER a good day and everyone leaves. The husband never apologizes. My daughter is hysterical and crying and now doesn't want to go out an play anymore because she is terrified that she will make a mistake again (regardless of the sticker) and also scared that she will run into this guy again. We told her that she can't let him get to her, but she needs to make an effort to be quiet and pay attention as much as possible.

I think we will go to our neighbors and see what they say. We are friendly with one neighbor in particular, who is a Swiss native, and perhaps she can shed some light on either the guy and his wife, or the situation in general. And by the way- the Swiss neighbor with whom we are friendly, came to us to introduce herself and has been nothing but VERY kind and nice. Of course, we have responded likewise.

I actually now also feel sorry for the guy's wife. I hope she is not victim to his anger and he has not scared her like he has our little girl.
...I suggest moving from there...the guy is a ticking time bomb...
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:40
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

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...I suggest moving from there...the guy is a ticking time bomb...
I didn't leave NYC after 9/11 and I am not leaving here.
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:48
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

I feel so, so sad for your daughter :-(
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:48
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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Canada!? When did they move Brooklyn to Canada?
Cannut is in Canada...
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:49
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

The dude is clearly an idiot. I would call the police and ask about your options. They should advise you whether there's something they can do (or the conditions in which they could do something) or you need someone else (lawyer).
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:50
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Re: Angry Swiss dude

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Cannut is in Canada...
T'was a joke.
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Old 03.07.2011, 13:51
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

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I feel so, so sad for your daughter :-(
Me too. I don't understand deriving pleasure from scaring a little kid.
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  #59  
Old 03.07.2011, 13:56
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

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The dude is clearly an idiot. I would call the police and ask about your options. They should advise you whether there's something they can do (or the conditions in which they could do something) or you need someone else (lawyer).
My hubby is a lawyer, but not the kind we need. We're going to try speaking with the other neighbors first and see what they say. The polizei are still an option tho.
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  #60  
Old 03.07.2011, 14:09
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Re: Angry Swiss dude update...

You can report him to the police. Maybe some other neighbours have done so before, so he is registered already. People with such a personality have a history of violence and weird behaviour. It didn't start with the buzzer story of your child.

A simple reporting doesn't harm anyone, but will put you in a stronger position if this problem should persist.

I'm all for getting along with neighbours and not making a mountain of a molehill, but safety for your family and especially your daughter comes definitely first.
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