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  #81  
Old 10.07.2011, 22:53
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Re: Swiss men

My stepson met his Thai fiancee while on vacation in Thailand.

Turned out she lived in Bern, had a Swiss passport, and spoke Swiss German!

Tom
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  #82  
Old 10.07.2011, 23:01
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Re: Swiss men

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Do you genuinely believe that all those women who are 'purchased' on catalogue or via agencies are happy, free and respected on par.
Do you actually believe that said women are ordered like a book on Amazon and show up on your doorstep in a cardboard box? Is that how you think the process works?

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Some are, some might - but can you truly say some are not?
So,we're back to my point. At least 50% of marriages in the west also end in divorce. I would reckon that the statstics for the marriages you describe are similar.

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One I knew committed suicide a few years back just down the road, leaving young children. Her husband was at school with me, and was a bit of a loner. He was really kind to her, and treated her very well, but she did not love him and felt so lonely. Some of these women have no access to money, don't drive, etc, and their passports are hidden away. Some are very happy, that is true too. But can you deny many are denied any rights or true partnership?
There are certainly some, yes, but do you believe that such things do not happen in 'normal' marriages in the west? You seem to think that the vast majority of marriages you are interested in assailing end in misery and terror. Can you back up that claim via some independent study rather than your own personal bias and anecdotes? You are clearly in a mixed marriage by your own choice and it's successful? Why can't you allow that many others might be as well but did not follow you same path?

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You haven't answered the question though. What motivates the men to find a wife from far away lands via catalogue or agency?
I can imagine many reasons, including the one you seem particularly stuck on. You seem to believe your model of men picking women out of catalogs like they might a buy a shirt with the woman having no interest or say in the matter and that all marriages arrived at by this process end in misery is somehow the dominant model. Can you support that by some sort of non-bias study? I'm willing to concede your point if you can.
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  #83  
Old 10.07.2011, 23:02
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Re: Swiss men

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My stepson met his Thai fiancee while on vacation in Thailand.

Turned out she lived in Bern, had a Swiss passport, and spoke Swiss German!

Tom
Hey, parallel imports are highly frowned upon by certain countries.
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  #84  
Old 10.07.2011, 23:04
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Re: Swiss men


That's pretty hilarious!

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As a girl who comes from Appalachia, I speak with authority when I say that it would be a shame to accidentally marry your cousin. Small country and all.
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  #85  
Old 10.07.2011, 23:06
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Re: Swiss men

I am not sure if it so prevalent in CH, but certainly in the UK there is quite a big market for 'meeting' Russian and Thai women on the internet. These women market themselves with the sole aim of marrying a (hopefully rich) western man; indeed, there are many websites that have been set up for that very purpose. I know a guy in London who did exactly that - he subscribed to a website that advertised Russian women and subsequently went on to marry her.
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  #86  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:00
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Re: Swiss men

1/3 of all marriages in Switzerland are binational. Swiss Women tend to marry men from Western European countries, Swiss men from other cultures. Divorce rate between "Swiss men/women from other countries" is 30%, opposite 46% (...). Average from all marriages is 41%.

Tendency in binational relationship is that at least one of the partners has a higher education.

And for those who are able to read german, a study from David Glowsky about some assumptions made in this thread:

http://www.diw.de/documents/publikat...diw_sp0056.pdf

If you remember the "We are not all mail order brides" where most of the people agreed that it is inaccurate to make
such assumptions, it seems that this is acceptable when a swiss men is involved according to some posters on this thread. There is maybe a word in English for such behaviour.

The real problem is "Sex Tourism".
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  #87  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:03
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Re: Swiss men

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1/3 of all marriages in Switzerland are binational. Swiss Women tend to marry men from Western European countries, Swiss men from other cultures. Divorce rate between "Swiss men/women from other countries" is 30%, opposite 46% (...). Average from all marriages is 41%.

Tendency in binational relationship is that at least one of the partners has a higher education.

And for those who are able to read german, a study from David Glowsky about some assumptions made in this thread:

http://www.diw.de/documents/publikat...diw_sp0056.pdf

If you remember the "We are not all mail order brides" where most of the people agreed that it is inaccurate to make
such assumptions, it seems that this is acceptable when a swiss men is involved according to some posters on this thread. There is maybe a word in English for such behaviour.

The real problem is "Sex Tourism".
The divorce rate is actually 54.4%.

http://www.bfs.admin.ch/bfs/portal/e...nk/key/06.html
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  #88  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:10
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Re: Swiss men

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The divorce rate is actually 54.4%.

http://www.bfs.admin.ch/bfs/portal/e...nk/key/06.html
Wow, the most shocking part of your link is that the average duration of the dissolved marriages is 14 years (and that's the average). That's pretty crazy. The Swiss seem to stick it out for a long time before calling it quitsies compared to other countries.
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  #89  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:14
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Re: Swiss men

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Wow, the most shocking part of your link is that the average duration of the dissolved marriages is 14 years (and that's the average). That's pretty crazy. The Swiss seem to stick it out for a long time before calling it quitsies compared to other countries.
...what was quite surprising is, that it's consistent throughout the years. I can only imagine, that is has to do with kids becoming more independent and both partners having more time on their hand to deal with the issue.
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  #90  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:15
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Re: Swiss men

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1/3 of all marriages in Switzerland are binational.
Given that 22% of the residents are foreigners and a fair share of the Swiss nationals have an immigration background. They would therefore actually stay within the same culture in a bi-national marriage. As it takes two to marry is in my eyes is one third actually a relatively low number.

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Swiss Women tend to marry men from Western European countries, Swiss men from other cultures.
No, sorry, that's a stereotype. Top of the list for Swiss men are German women: http://www.20min.ch/news/schweiz/sto...edels-28244094 (One of the most tasteless headlines I ever saw in 20min... Does an article about binational marriages really need a Nazi joke?)
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  #91  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:37
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Re: Swiss men

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No, sorry, that's a stereotype. Top of the list for Swiss men are German women: http://www.20min.ch/news/schweiz/sto...edels-28244094 (One of the most tasteless headlines I ever saw in 20min... Does an article about binational marriages really need a Nazi joke?)
Yes, but that has nothing to do with German women. For sure they are the group with the highest percentage. Followed by Brasilian and Thai women.
It's about Intercultural against the opposite not Germany against the world.
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  #92  
Old 11.07.2011, 01:45
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Re: Swiss men

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Yes, but that has nothing to do with German women.
Sorry, don't get it?


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For sure they are the group with the highest percentage. Followed by Brasilian and Thai women.
It's about Intercultural against the opposite not Germany against the world.
Followed by Italy after that. So "Swiss men tend to marry from other cultures" is not really true in my eyes... but of course, we can ignore the numbers and continue to discuss old Swiss men and their Thai girls.

I wonder how many of the posters who comment on Asian women actually know some personally...
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  #93  
Old 11.07.2011, 02:12
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Re: Swiss men

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Followed by Italy after that. So "Swiss men tend to marry from other cultures" is not really true in my eyes... but of course, we can ignore the numbers and continue to discuss old Swiss men and their Thai girls.

I wonder how many of the posters who comment on Asian women actually know some personally...
That was a bit unclear from my side. Swiss men tend, in relation to Swiss women, more to intercultural relationships. But did you have a look at the study? I never wrote anything about old Swiss men and their Thai girls, that was brought up by other people. I just wrote that on this forum a few people think that it is not acceptable to assume that Asian women are mail order brides. Some other people on this thread do not have a problem to assume exactly that when a Swiss men is involved.

So where are the folks from "We are not all mail order brides" and why don't they speak up on this thread. I would be pretty pissed if I were an Asian women reading some the posts on here.
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  #94  
Old 11.07.2011, 10:45
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Re: Swiss men

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I always find it amusing that Asian women are pegged as meek or obedient. You know you always have to watch out for the quiet ones... dragon lady wasn't a term created by observing obedient Asian women!
Haha, so true. A Thai friend of mine once said:
"We(she and her bf - also Thai) are taking turns in washing the dishes and doing the laundry - this life it's his turn!"

In most Asian* families it's the wife that has complete control over the house, household, finances etc. It's the hubby's duty to bring home the money and that's about it, if he's lucky he'll get some pocket money to buy booze and drown his sorrow.

*East and South East Asian countries, don't know how it's handled in South Asia tbh.

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Old 11.07.2011, 10:59
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Re: Swiss men

Personally I'm an asian girl married to a swiss man and he is the same age as me, not some ugly old man. Other than me looking asian, I don't think we are any different from other swiss couples. Why can't people just accept that there are also normal asians who are as independent as the swiss? This discrimination has to stop.
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  #96  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:03
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Re: Swiss men

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Haha, so true. A Thai friend of mine once said:
"We(she and her bf - also Thai) are taking turns in washing the dishes and doing the laundry - this life it's his turn!"

In most Asian* families it's the wife that has complete control over the house, household, finances etc. It's the hubby's duty to bring home the money and that's about it, if he's lucky he'll get some pocket money to buy booze and drown his sorrow.

*East and South East Asian countries, don't know how it's handled in South Asia tbh.

That sounds quite a bit like the family doings of one of my best friends in my younger years (late teens - early 30s). My friend's mother is Korean, her father American. Her mother def ruled things for the most part although when it came to housewifey stuff, she did pamper him slightly, cooking things he especially liked and such, but what partner (female or not) doesn't do that for their sweetie anyhow?

The real pampering though went to the son. If he didn't want whatever it was that she'd prepared for dinner, she'd prepare something else for him. Ah well, he grew into a great guy, a lot of "the best of both worlds" in both he and my friend I think. I like to think that happens often in intercultural marriages.
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Old 11.07.2011, 11:04
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Re: Swiss men

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Every foreign bloke I know is married to a Swiss woman. What I have noticed though is nearly every Swiss woman between the ages 25-35 are sticks. I was just wondering if the Swiss actually like curvy women, it would be hard to find one.
Being curvy or, *gasp*, overweight is deeply frowned upon here (or ignored, evident by the total lack of clothing above a certain size in normal shops), so you feel like you shouldn't put yourself on the market or that you wouldn't have a chance anyway.

As for the initial question, well, sometimes it's actually because they are open-minded and fascinated by other cultures. My Swiss ex-boyfriends have always thought it was super cool that parties at my house are like a visit to the United Nations...
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  #98  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:05
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Re: Swiss men

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What motivates the men to find a wife from far away lands via catalogue or agency?
i figured it was the same reason as you internet shopping for groceries: convenience, more variety and better value for money
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Old 11.07.2011, 11:06
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Re: Swiss men

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i figured it was the same reason as you internet shopping for groceries: convenience, more variety and better value for money
and availability ...
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  #100  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:14
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Re: Swiss men

Lydi I fully agree with you- my comments were about SOME Swiss men, often older and perhaps 'past' their best, or very set in their traditional ways- going abroad for the sole purpose of finding a bride who will accept a more traditional role without question. I am NOT saying in any way, shape or form, that all women from more 'exotic' climes married to Swiss men are such. Absolutely and totally not.

But can you deny that some Swiss men do seek foreign brides (not all Asians) who will be more accepting of certain things and less demanding of an equal partnership. And that some women from very disadvantaged areas of the world are not prepared and willing to accept.
If not, then why are there so many agencies and yes, catalogues for this purpose?
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