Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:14
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Work in ZH, live in SZ
Posts: 12,352
Groaned at 363 Times in 293 Posts
Thanked 23,675 Times in 8,568 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
Personally I'm an asian girl married to a swiss man and he is the same age as me, not some ugly old man. Other than me looking asian, I don't think we are any different from other swiss couples. Why can't people just accept that there are also normal asians who are as independent as the swiss? This discrimination has to stop.
Well, you know: I am not Swiss, but an European married to an Asian woman. We met in college, so we are both the same age, both the same highe education level and both have good jobs.

Do we experience discrimination from time to time? Yes. My wife has been chat up by some old Swiss guy on Bahnhofstrasse before: "Hi! Where are you from?" "Me? China" "Ohhh - so you work in a restaurant!!!" "No, I manage a team of software developers in a bank." "Ohhh- that's a very good job..." I found the way some Swiss men expect Asian women to be uneducated and only here for the social insurances pretty ignorant. But from some of the comments here are not only Swiss having these thoughts.

But to be absolutely honest: We met far more and far worse stereotypes in Asia. Not from some strangers but even friends: "You are still working? Why? I thought you married a foreigner..." As I said: We met in college in an international course in a third country. So both of us used some agencies to study abroad. Hers has a website with "past students" giving some success stories. She made a great career and they could really show off with her success story. What did they write under her name and study year? only one sentence: "Married a foreigner."
Reply With Quote
The following 14 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #102  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:17
simon_ch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Zürich
Posts: 2,390
Groaned at 128 Times in 76 Posts
Thanked 3,488 Times in 1,377 Posts
simon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

I think the younger the Swiss men are the more they defy (and don't worry about) clichés.

The more languages you speak, the better educated you are, the more you travel the more likely you are to have a foreign girlfriend and the less likely you are to settle with a local gal, it's that simple. Most of my University educated friends who speak good English have foreign girlfriends, all who don't have Swiss girlfriends. Nothing wrong with Swiss girls, but why limit yourself to the one nationality/culture you already know?
Reply With Quote
The following 10 users would like to thank simon_ch for this useful post:
  #103  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:21
NSchulzi's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Zug
Posts: 2,422
Groaned at 52 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 2,523 Times in 1,215 Posts
NSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
I think the younger the Swiss men are the more they defy (and don't worry about) clichés.

The more languages you speak, the better educated you are, the more you travel the more likely you are to have a foreign girlfriend and the less likely you are to settle with a local gal, it's that simple. Most of my University educated friends who speak good English have foreign girlfriends, all who don't have Swiss girlfriends. Nothing wrong with Swiss girls, but why limit yourself to the one nationality/culture you already know?
But this, and lots of other comments, implies that we have a choice as to who we meet and fall in love with. Surely, most of the time this is out of our control, assuming that we are talking about the normal rules of attraction that apply when you meet someone face to face (as opposed to choosing someone on the internet).
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank NSchulzi for this useful post:
  #104  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:22
Helm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich<->St.Gallen
Posts: 2,209
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 4,136 Times in 1,371 Posts
Helm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
"Married a foreigner."
When I went to the RAV (because I started getting desperate with the dead-end job search), the woman took a look into my file and asked me in a polite-honest way:

"Why are you even looking for a job? Your're married to someone that works in a bank!"

Makes me sad that they expect foreign women to be just leeches
Reply With Quote
The following 11 users would like to thank Helm for this useful post:
  #105  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:24
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,952
Groaned at 295 Times in 199 Posts
Thanked 19,019 Times in 8,000 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
But this, and lots of other comments, implies that we have a choice as to who we meet and fall in love with.
of course you do! you control who you meet through what you do, where you travel and who you speak to!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Phil_MCR for this useful post:
  #106  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:26
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Work in ZH, live in SZ
Posts: 12,352
Groaned at 363 Times in 293 Posts
Thanked 23,675 Times in 8,568 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
Makes me sad that they expect foreign women to be just leeches
I would not see discrimination in that: SWISS women are from my experience on average fairly old-fashioned when it comes to gender roles - the man makes the money and the woman stops to work. You will see that many Swiss girls try to "catch" a high-rolling banker as a husband. And they typically marry fairly late, when they feel like it is the time to start a family. So when you get married, the girls stops working and gets pregnant...

So: I do not think it was any bad comment on your nationality, but probably really an honest question that gives away more of the mindset of your RAV counsellor...

Last edited by Treverus; 11.07.2011 at 12:40.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #107  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:27
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Swiss men

When I went to my first interview to start teacher training at Uni, as a mature student with 2 young kids, in the UK, the guy said to me 'Well, your husband has got a good job- teaching is not a hobby for bored middle-class housewives you know!' and I could have punched his lights out. Next interview 'your husband has a very demanding job, what does he think of you going back to University? It is going to upset the apple-cart no?' and she was a woman.

Trev - why is it that people get really cheesed off about stereotypes (me included) unless it's about the Swiss

Last edited by Odile; 11.07.2011 at 11:41.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #108  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:28
NSchulzi's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Zug
Posts: 2,422
Groaned at 52 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 2,523 Times in 1,215 Posts
NSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond reputeNSchulzi has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
of course you do! you control who you meet through what you do, where you travel and who you speak to!
Well, yes. But my point was more about the fact that these days people travel so widely that you could fly to Thailand looking for a bride, and fall in love with a German!!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank NSchulzi for this useful post:
  #109  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:28
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 10,653
Groaned at 279 Times in 230 Posts
Thanked 19,403 Times in 7,402 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

I'm a younger non-Swiss man married to an older Swiss woman.

I feel like a page number from a catalogue
Reply With Quote
The following 10 users would like to thank dodgyken for this useful post:
  #110  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:28
simon_ch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Zürich
Posts: 2,390
Groaned at 128 Times in 76 Posts
Thanked 3,488 Times in 1,377 Posts
simon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond reputesimon_ch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
But this, and lots of other comments, implies that we have a choice as to who we meet and fall in love with. Surely, most of the time this is out of our control, assuming that we are talking about the normal rules of attraction that apply when you meet someone face to face (as opposed to choosing someone on the internet).
Of course, but it's also a simple case of probability. When travelling or working abroad many men are more relaxed, open-minded and meet more new people, not surprising that they meet their partner there. Furthermore, many foreign girls coming to Switzerland don't have an existing network of friends and need to go out and meet new people which makes it easier for guys to get to know them too. I meet so many nice girls while travelling and it's quite a bit harder here because it's not so easy to meet new people in your daily life. The only reason why bi-national marriages are not more common in CH is because most young people don't bother to marry.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank simon_ch for this useful post:
  #111  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:30
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,952
Groaned at 295 Times in 199 Posts
Thanked 19,019 Times in 8,000 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
When I went to the RAV (because I started getting desperate with the dead-end job search), the woman took a look into my file and asked me in a polite-honest way:

"Why are you even looking for a job? Your're married to someone that works in a bank!"

Makes me sad that they expect foreign women to be just leeches
nothing wrong with that. quite a few girls still want to be a full time mum. many such girls i know are working now for a while to earn a bit of extra cash, but then will give up work permanently.

i asked my ex a couple of months ago if she would now want to maintain a career after kids (part-time) now that she had been promoted. she laughed and said "no way!" she also already earned more than her new bf before the promotion...
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Phil_MCR for this useful post:
  #112  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:54
Helm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich<->St.Gallen
Posts: 2,209
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 4,136 Times in 1,371 Posts
Helm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

I put no doubt that some women want to be home makers, Phil_MCR. The sadness comes from the stereotype, which I wouldn't expect anywhere in Europe, that women stay at home after they marry, to be breeding machines that explore their male counter part. And if we take certain books/public opinions into consideration, that foreigner women are more prone to stay at home and leech on the social money, since they are harpies on the hunt for rich German bankers.

Having to face reprehension because I haven't popped a kid yet (not only am married for over 4 years, but also just crossed the 3rd decade), and then having to hear in a subtle way I am expected to use my reproductive organs instead of my brain, it hurts a lot. Especially when it comes along with a "your 7 years of University in a 3rd world country count for nothing here"...
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Helm for this useful post:
  #113  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:56
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Swiss men

There is indeed nothing wrong with choosing not to work- but there is something wrong about the assumption that women do not WANT to work.
It is all about choice, and those choices being enabled by the system and the culture to some extent.

Helm our posts crossed.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #114  
Old 11.07.2011, 11:57
Helm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich<->St.Gallen
Posts: 2,209
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 4,136 Times in 1,371 Posts
Helm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
There is indeed nothing wrong with choosing not to work- but there is something wrong about the assumption that women do not WANT to work.
It is all about choice, and those choices being enabled by the system and the culture to some extent.

Helm our posts crossed.
You said it in a much clearer way *high-five*
Reply With Quote
  #115  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:01
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Town or region
Posts: 11,491
Groaned at 655 Times in 417 Posts
Thanked 16,388 Times in 6,379 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
I'm a younger non-Swiss man married to an older Swiss woman.

I feel like a page number from a catalogue
Probably the freeby section..
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:07
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Work in ZH, live in SZ
Posts: 12,352
Groaned at 363 Times in 293 Posts
Thanked 23,675 Times in 8,568 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
There is indeed nothing wrong with choosing not to work- but there is something wrong about the assumption that women do not WANT to work.
It is all about choice, and those choices being enabled by the system and the culture to some extent.
But the surprising thing here for me was that the culture part was in no way pushed by males on the women, but far more from females.

As some know will I leave Switzerland. Had some chats with Swiss folks about it. The fact that I would give up my job and follow the wife to another country - and it is HER who got a good offer there, without me having one on my own yet... really did not meet their expectation on how a man should behave. Quote: "Isn't you letting the wife work and not making money not a bit anti-social?" "I don't intend this to be a permanent situation" "Yes, but still... that's not how it should be like, no?"
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #117  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:10
Mud's Avatar
Mud Mud is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Romandie
Posts: 2,551
Groaned at 26 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 5,004 Times in 1,827 Posts
Mud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
I'm a younger non-Swiss man married to an older Swiss woman.

I feel like a page number from a catalogue
Quote:
View Post
Probably the freeby section..
"The ad said I would float on air and it could lift 200 pounds.... I guess that's another way of writing 'marriage and husband' "

Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Mud for this useful post:
  #118  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:13
BasP72's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Adliswil (close to Zurich)
Posts: 1,932
Groaned at 89 Times in 43 Posts
Thanked 1,785 Times in 852 Posts
BasP72 has a reputation beyond reputeBasP72 has a reputation beyond reputeBasP72 has a reputation beyond reputeBasP72 has a reputation beyond reputeBasP72 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
I'm a younger non-Swiss man married to an older Swiss woman.

I feel like a page number from a catalogue
the toyboy section ! wearing only some speedos I presume ?
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank BasP72 for this useful post:
  #119  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:14
Helm's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich<->St.Gallen
Posts: 2,209
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 4,136 Times in 1,371 Posts
Helm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond reputeHelm has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss men

Quote:
View Post
"Isn't you letting the wife work and not making money not a bit anti-social?" "I don't intend this to be a permanent situation" "Yes, but still... that's not how it should be like, no?"
I am starting to wonder whether I am actually Asian and married to Treverus... My husband colleagues had a shock when he answered to the question "Why did you move to Switzerland?" with "My wife got a job here, so I followed her."

According to them, it's not proper.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Helm for this useful post:
  #120  
Old 11.07.2011, 12:30
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: zh
Posts: 251
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 304 Times in 122 Posts
TheCatintheHat has an excellent reputationTheCatintheHat has an excellent reputationTheCatintheHat has an excellent reputationTheCatintheHat has an excellent reputation
Re: Swiss men

I've met two men here who followed their wives jobs. Both were subject to jokes and in both cases, the families left sooner than had been planned. Obbviously, I don't know if that is the reason why, but I'd venture to guess that it had something to do with it.
The striking thing to me was that it was both women and men who jumped on the 'not a real man' wagon.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank TheCatintheHat for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
dating swiss men blueshrimp General off-topic 107 26.03.2016 22:23
Hello some questions about swiss life and Swiss men from an Irish girl lou.m Daily life 44 03.03.2015 11:30
Swiss men weak, Swiss women strong, what's your take? flavio Family matters/health 129 09.02.2011 12:45
What is the Swiss view of men with long hair? CookieLT Employment 30 09.06.2010 22:56


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 11:17.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0