Hi, I am being harassed and stalked by a woman I had a 'brief' encounter with this April. I have made it clear to her that I want her to stop contacting me and she has still sent me text messages and has started to try and use the website couch surfers (as I am on it) to find out where I live and has started trying to use my friends to get to me.
I only have the texts and this email she sent to a friend of mine.
Other things I think are important is that she is bipolar and is rapid cycling, I did not know this when I met her. Also I am a Lesbian and I am worried this will affect how I would be treated by say, the police. I have looked online and couldn't find any domestic abuse (as they deal with stalking) crisis centres that could offer advice.
Does anyone have contact details or advice for me?
Thank you

Well you will move soon to Zurich, that will probably solve the problem.



But I doubt that bad mouthing someone else is domestic abuse.

I am already in Zh, have been for amost 3 years. I didn't say it was domestic abuse, I said that often those places have help and advice for women being harassed or stalked, as I believe that is what is happening with me. Sending a ton of unwanted attention, mail, texts, phone calls etc is harassment, no? I was also hoping people could offer advice on who to call or talk to about what things can be done to make it stop.

Go and talk to the police.
I'm pretty sure a lesbian stalking case would get their interest.

This used to be a sticky, but now it is a bit buried: Where to go when you need help - links & contact numbers

You might want to update your location in your profile

Ok, I would normally ask you to change your location, but considering the troubles you are dealing with...change the info in the profile, to start with. You really do not want to be identifiable, anywhere.

Then change your email addy, get a new sim card, send your new info only to your trustworthy friends. Get off public forums, couchsurfing included, for a while. Report her to police, irrespectively on the outcome (go there with a local witness, give them written accounts of what is happening), send a copy of that report to that chick. She might harass since she might think you are powerless. If she is aggressive, do not send her the copy. Change places you hang out in, inform your friends and family what you are dealing with. Good luck.

__________________
"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

The city of Zurich has a pamphlet on "stalking" (googling "stalking+Zürich+stadt")
http://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/content/...lt%20leben.pdf

with all the necessary information, options, contact details, etc. If your German is not up to par, get a friend to translate it.

Somewhere, after reading an earlier post on relationship breakup, I remember finding a link to an interesting site that explained the hormonal reactions to loss - be it through the death or break up , or just being rejected by someone. It made for interesting reading. I suspect the hounding of you will stop once her hormones settle down. As Music Chick suggested, keep a low profile for a while. At that point, she will probably be embarressed at her current behaviour.( or amused, apologetic...) But, if she remains in this mode, watch out for any signs that may start you feeling that you are unsafe.

Here a few links that might have some information or know which path to take:

http://www.opferhilfe.zh.ch/internet...e/de/home.html

http://www.bif-frauenberatung.ch/

http://www.beratungsnetz.ch/html/efz...ngsstelle.html

http://www.frauenzentrale.ch/zuerich...t.php?idcat=28

Most of the time they refer to physical abuse, but I'm sure when you tell them your case, they know one or two points to direct you correctly.

Hope you will find a good solution.

Tell her you have HIV. Problem solved.

hello

if you both are lesbians..(is this woman too?) then what means a 'brief' encounter? was it a date? did she not mention at all she had this disorder or something similar? if yes and she gets treatment and you knew..you have bad cards because you have some responsibility in every case.
was she in love with you or were you? did you do or say something that made her manic?
was there something sexual(sorry I'm asking) between you two? because this will make it harder to report her. even among homosexuals there is sexual abuse. not that i believe this is it. I'm just telling you what matters to the police.

and most important to think about: what exactly(!)happened between this brief encounter and you telling her not to contact you again? do you know in what time period this happened? did she hope for more and did you force that feeling? did she tell you things like she will commit suicide or do something to you? that would give her real bad cards!
the police will ask you this questions and then ask this woman too. it is always difficult to get the picture right done. it needs both sides.. you would have to deal with this again.
best would be to send her a 'Einschreiben' (R- or AR-letter) with what YOU think is important for her to understand and accept. maybe it will solve everything if she understands you better. if she doesn't respect that then you have a R-letter and security and she gets in trouble.

think about it
good luck

liz

Hi, Liz, and welcome to our forum. Would you like to drop by in our intro section and introduce yourself?

I have thought about your questions, and I feel like it does not matter at all what happened between OP and her former friend. Why should it? If something happened does that give anyone right to harass? Stalk? It's completely irrelevant. If OP does not wish to be contacted, stalked, harassed or exposed and has a problem with somebody not respecting her decision, then there should be a way to legally remove this bully out of OP's life. Her being gay or not is completely pointless question, as is if they had a one night stand or not. Relationships, promises or brief encounters do not give any base for future harassment.

__________________
"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

Me too.

First post on the forum - digs up a (relatively) old thread - tries to confirm details which are already in the initial post - challenges the OP - signs with her real name...

Thats quite a first post to dive straight into - normally the etiquette is

Day 1 - Intro
Day 2 - Question about shopping esp brown sugar or similar
Day 3 - Question about trams
Day 4 - Two week old question on lesbian sexual abuse

But you went straight to day 4......nuff respec

Welcome anyway

Yeah, a tad unusual newbie MO, true that. But, knowing the scene a bit, things can get very unusual, we shouldn't judge with our preconceptions ...

I was wondering where "the good cards" and "the bad cards" have any rational base...What a weird notion. It's not a bargaining scene with cops, or authorities, when you try to report domestic violence or harassment. And I have zero idea why liz would think having sexual anything to do with the harasser would put OP in a bad light, as if the stalker was entitled to stalk. Sounds like from Jane Austen novels.

__________________
"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

hi everyone.

liz is only a nik i use in forums. but anyway..
you can call me kevchester..

to musicchick

it does matter.. that is the problem why so many people getting stalked do not get real help. jane austen man! this is serious!

these questions are the ones the police will ask. of course she will not tell US what happened but she should know what to expect.

This should be made into a sticky.

She is the stalker - trying to sneak in the back door (so to speak).

whatt?!?!?!



i was interested in that thread that's all..

does anyone out there actually have an idea what this is all about??

crazy!

You're responding to an older inactive thread. This is a community. Please go and introduce yourself in the appropriate place first. You seem to be mistaking this for 4chan or facepage or something.