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  #41  
Old 31.07.2011, 12:59
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Take a Spanish class at Migros. You'll have a common bond with your other classmates: the difficulties of learning a foreign language!
You're so sweet. I would green rep you if I could
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  #42  
Old 31.07.2011, 13:04
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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> have you ever considered that YOU possibly are a bit difficult ?
> have you ever considered that you could lower the prices in yr pl ?
> have you ever realized that drinking outside BEFORE you go to the bar is quite common here ? as the prices of the bars have risen far more than the incomes ?
> USA ? ever considered whether they will like YOU ?

1.pretty sure it is not me. everywhere else I lived I had tons of friends. nothing changed....expats I meet are fine.
2. Im not in the bar anymore
3. I dont want to drink outside, and I doubt I would meet people drinking out in the park...

4. lived in the USA 5 years and making friends was no issue....
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  #43  
Old 31.07.2011, 13:09
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Take a Spanish class at Migros. You'll have a common bond with your other classmates: the difficulties of learning a foreign language!
Having a "common bond" is the key to it. For some, that common bond is as smiple as being another foreigner. But, and especially if you are wanting to spend time with locals, then having an interest in common, is important.

So, joining a class at Migros, or joining a club that has something you are interested in, helps. A sports club of some sort, is a good staring point - or a drama club, chess club..... I remember reading somewhere, that the average Swiss person belongs to three clubs. If you don't have any interests ( you do, making bread is one) then it is time to develop some. That will keep you from being bored or boring. :-)
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  #44  
Old 31.07.2011, 13:16
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Take a Spanish class at Migros. You'll have a common bond with your other classmates: the difficulties of learning a foreign language!
that's a valid tip! if only I wasn't relatively broke and the courses weren't so expensive!
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  #45  
Old 31.07.2011, 13:33
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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1.pretty sure it is not me. everywhere else I lived I had tons of friends. nothing changed....expats I meet are fine.
2. Im not in the bar anymore
3. I dont want to drink outside, and I doubt I would meet people drinking out in the park...

4. lived in the USA 5 years and making friends was no issue....
Well, while it is more difficult to make friends in Switzerland beyond doubt, your problem quite obviously must have something to do with your place. We here have an old friend, a Genevois, who for decades lived in Zurich, and a few years ago moved to Tour-de-Tręme. He quite obviously, while praising the place, failed to make friends but still either comes to Zurich or goes to Geneva to meet friends.

Back to you. How well are you really integrated locally ? You speak about "out in the park". Here in Zürich, on the Lindenhof, there usually is no gastronomy in action. People drinking beverages they brought with them talk with each other. Along the lake there are two public electro-grills and some traditional grill places where people meet. And so, many friendships slowly but steadily develop. How many people from out of FR do you know in Bulle ? In how many clubs or associations are you member ?

Last edited by Wollishofener; 31.07.2011 at 14:38.
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  #46  
Old 31.07.2011, 13:41
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

I really must go and test this place called 'Bulle' as I shall be in the area for a week soon. I'll get back to you, lol.

I lived in Stoke (on-Trent) in the UK for several years. A place where people from the next Pottery town a couple of miles away is a 'foreigner' and distrusted. They were a bit reserved at first- but I made such good friends there in the end, quite a few still excellent friends 30+ years later- even though we moved to another part of UK. If you make the effort and have the right attitude- it is rarely difficult to make friends in most places in the world - yes, even Switzerland.
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  #47  
Old 31.07.2011, 14:28
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

I don't know I don't really agree with this being a typical Swiss thing.

I've lived and worked quite a bit in an "multicultural context" and I've seen over and over the same thing happening, which is, people from the same country will group up and spend considerable time together. I'm not saying they are isolating themselves but simply talk and laugh and drink most of their time together.

It's the same at work. Even though we are over 20 different nationalities and people organise a BBQ or an Apéro, or meet around the water fountain,
you'll always always find people from the same nationality group up like by magic.

I also think when you live in a place where people are dependant on one another for every day life true friendships are formed more easily (just as are true enmities formed also).

Then another thing about making friends is to know what not to do especially as adults, namely, gossiping, spreading false rumours and all that destructive shit.
I know some nationailties are very open minded easy going folks and making friends is as simple as feeling free to drop in,
sit down at the kitchen table and have a friendly chat about how you feel today and a coffee or a cold beer and that's it.


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ok, prepare for the cold truth.

You won't make any "friends" here.

you will get plenty of colleages and activity partners, they will meet with you when they are interested on doing some common activity, otherwise no interest at all on you.

It is simply the way it is in Switzerland. ... unless you were born here and know them since kindergarten, then you would be a "friend".

You can make plenty of ex-pat "friends" though, you can get together to rant about all what is wrong here and was right back home. Many would even become real friends.

Problem is someday they will leave for another country and then you are back to case 0.

been there, done that.
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  #48  
Old 31.07.2011, 15:15
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

there are EF meetings? where? how do you find out where they are?
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  #49  
Old 31.07.2011, 15:21
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

if so much is wrong here and so much right back home, why dont you go back home...
but no doubt when you are back home you will realise things are not so bad here...
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  #50  
Old 31.07.2011, 15:46
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

True, from where I come from, people from within the same states flock together.
Sigh, for me, am generally too uncomfortable to chit chat with any folk, the result 2 months here and still no friends. Fear of the unknown i suppose..


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I don't know I don't really agree with this being a typical Swiss thing.

I've lived and worked quite a bit in an "multicultural context" and I've seen over and over the same thing happening, which is, people from the same country will group up and spend considerable time together. I'm not saying they are isolating themselves but simply talk and laugh and drink most of their time together.

It's the same at work. Even though we are over 20 different nationalities and people organise a BBQ or an Apéro, or meet around the water fountain,
you'll always always find people from the same nationality group up like by magic.

I also think when you live in a place where people are dependant on one another for every day life true friendships are formed more easily (just as are true enmities formed also).

Then another thing about making friends is to know what not to do especially as adults, namely, gossiping, spreading false rumours and all that destructive shit.
I know some nationailties are very open minded easy going folks and making friends is as simple as feeling free to drop in,
sit down at the kitchen table and have a friendly chat about how you feel today and a coffee or a cold beer and that's it.
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  #51  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:26
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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It sucks. My town of Winti turns into a complete dirthole every weekend. We should have open container laws for at least the railway stations and public parks.
Why?

Generally, when I take a train, I have a beer before getting on board, what's the problem with that?

Or, maybe I want to go to a park, read a book, and enjoy a beer or a small bottle of wine.

Open container laws are BS, and I'm glad I live in a sane country!

Tom
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  #52  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:28
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Why?

Generally, when I take a train, I have a beer before getting on board, what's the problem with that?

Or, maybe I want to go to a park, read a book, and enjoy a beer or a small bottle of wine.

Open container laws are BS, and I'm glad I live in a sane country!

Tom
me too! drink on board. merry on arrival! after a little experimenting, i found the optimal combination for a happy (yet increasing) buzz for the journey from SH to ZH HB.
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  #53  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:34
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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ok, prepare for the cold truth.

You won't make any "friends" here.

you will get plenty of colleages and activity partners, they will meet with you when they are interested on doing some common activity, otherwise no interest at all on you.

It is simply the way it is in Switzerland. ... unless you were born here and know them since kindergarten, then you would be a "friend".
Untrue, my core group of friends are mostly Swiss or Italians (though some are duals).

But, most of them I've known for 20 years or more, and a couple of Swiss for 29+ years (from my first visit to CH back in '82).

Tom
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  #54  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:37
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Hääääää ? May be that you ARE boring ? But cheer up, nobody is boring by birth. When going to any meeting, try to be POSITIVE ! If you feel not too well and are asked "we gaats" reply not by "ääää, ja ganz guet" but more realistically "äs mag ie" . If meeting whomever try to memorize what similar meetings you have had and about the positive aspects of those meetings in the past. Overall, try to see things positively
Oh Wally....
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  #55  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:37
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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me too! drink on board. merry on arrival! after a little experimenting, i found the optimal combination for a happy (yet increasing) buzz for the journey from SH to ZH HB.
Don't take the train much, but if I do it's at least 3 hours (to ZH, longer to other places). Took it once from Brussels - Lugano (I had to shorten my trip, and getting a new flight would have taken longer), and brought wine, cheese, sausages, and bread and had a great time!

Tom
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  #56  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:39
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Untrue, my core group of friends are mostly Swiss or Italians (though some are duals).

But, most of them I've known for 20 years or more, and a couple of Swiss for 29+ years (from my first visit to CH back in '82).

Tom
there you go! proof that it can take as little as 20 years to make friends in switzerland!
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  #57  
Old 31.07.2011, 19:40
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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there are EF meetings? where? how do you find out where they are?
Have a look at all the events listed in the "Events" page of this website.
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Old 31.07.2011, 19:41
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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there you go! proof that it can take as little as 20 years to make friends in switzerland!
Or, that making Swiss friends has only been a problem in the past 20 years!

Tom
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Old 31.07.2011, 19:54
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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there are EF meetings? where? how do you find out where they are?
New here too, but I'm guessing that you should have a look in the Events forum

-------

As for this convo - it's great! In fact I have heard similar things from French, Russian and German people that it's difficult to make friends in Switzerland.

However of course, I am (deluded?) going to break that model and make lots of Swiss friends! (cough)

Looking forward to meeting some of you in Basel for curry this week, just in case my prediction is wrong
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Old 31.07.2011, 22:43
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Generally, when I take a train, I have a beer before getting on board, what's the problem with that?

Or, maybe I want to go to a park, read a book, and enjoy a beer or a small bottle of wine.
I don't have a problem with you having your wine. I have a problem with groups of drunk 15 year olds bothering elderly folks and people on their way to/from work. It can't be that regular folks avoid the trains after 9pm because of these monkeys.

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I'm glad I live in a sane country!
Is there a country in particular that you would consider to be "in"sane?
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