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Old 30.07.2011, 20:20
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Difficulty in making friends?

Dear all

I find myself living with my Swiss gf near Zug since last October. As I got a job and everything is alright, I struggle to make Swiss friends! I do speak german and understand much of Swiss german by now, but It seems that young people are either shy or too busy all the time...I understand most mates here have known each other since school times, and it kinda hard to enter in a group of already established friends. Any suggestions?

Guido
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:22
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

Pickwick Pub and pay a few rounds.

Or join the local Turnverein / Shooting Club / or any other club that might interest you.
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:25
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Dear all

I find myself living with my Swiss gf near Zug since last October. As I got a job and everything is alright, I struggle to make Swiss friends! I do speak german and understand much of Swiss german by now, but It seems that young people are either shy or too busy all the time...I understand most mates here have known each other since school times, and it kinda hard to enter in a group of already established friends. Any suggestions?

Guido
That's just the way it is here. It happens to me and I'm Swiss.
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:27
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

True, that happens even to my Swiss gf, lots of acquaintances, and in order to meet up with someone they send invitations a week before....
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:36
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Dear all

I find myself living with my Swiss gf near Zug since last October. As I got a job and everything is alright, I struggle to make Swiss friends! I do speak german and understand much of Swiss german by now, but It seems that young people are either shy or too busy all the time...I understand most mates here have known each other since school times, and it kinda hard to enter in a group of already established friends. Any suggestions?

Guido
Ive met lots of Swiss people through sports and at Church. But there is a trick, you have to force them to come over. You have to be like "NO WAY DUDE! BBQ this weekend. Youre coming..... If your mommy says no then youre a panzy"......

Normally does the trick. Most Swiss dont really go after having friends. I used to invite basketball teamates to go out on weekends to go shoot. They would all say the same thing: "uummm, I dont think I can do that because its not on the practice schedule".... "So what else are you going to do tomorrow morning? C'mon just show up at the park"...... "No no, I have plans in the evening. So it wont be a good idea."....

You have to some times force them to come over for food etc, but its normally worth it.
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:41
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

OK, how about going to the local bank, depositing a fortune and watch the locals come out of the woodwork to be your friend.

Or get a mountain bike and join the thousands of sweaty, adrenalin-high bikers enjoying a beer at some mountain restaurant.
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Old 30.07.2011, 20:48
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

I've been trying to make some English speaking friends but they all seem to think that I'm boring. They are probably right
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:01
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Ive met lots of Swiss people through sports and at Church. But there is a trick, you have to force them to come over. You have to be like "NO WAY DUDE! BBQ this weekend. Youre coming..... If your mommy says no then youre a panzy"......

Normally does the trick. Most Swiss dont really go after having friends. I used to invite basketball teamates to go out on weekends to go shoot. They would all say the same thing: "uummm, I dont think I can do that because its not on the practice schedule".... "So what else are you going to do tomorrow morning? C'mon just show up at the park"...... "No no, I have plans in the evening. So it wont be a good idea."....

You have to some times force them to come over for food etc, but its normally worth it.

ahahah surely the food method works! Apparently I should join some sports team, uhm... sad that 90% of my work colleagues are females and hyperstressed out from said activity...I used to play basketball as a teenager!
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:19
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They are probably right
Fukk! That Thomas guys on this thread. Guys so boring... Has a cactus for his avatar.... Probably from Texas.
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:25
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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ahahah surely the food method works! Apparently I should join some sports team, uhm... sad that 90% of my work colleagues are females and hyperstressed out from said activity...I used to play basketball as a teenager!
Ive met majority of my Swiss friends through sports. Even associates ive met through work dont want to hang out. Thats just not how it works here. They are very scared that they might not have something in common with you and thus dont want to take the chance of putting anyone in an awkward situation.

Want to scare your Swiss neighbors? Wave at them and look genuinely happy to see them. That doesnt always work, but 7 out of 10 times is pretty darned entertaining. And the ones who arent scared away? They will invite YOU over for dinner.

Maybe you and the gals from work should have a spa day?!!!!
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:36
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Ive met majority of my Swiss friends through sports. Even associates ive met through work dont want to hang out. Thats just not how it works here. They are very scared that they might not have something in common with you and thus dont want to take the chance of putting anyone in an awkward situation.

Want to scare your Swiss neighbors? Wave at them and look genuinely happy to see them. That doesnt always work, but 7 out of 10 times is pretty darned entertaining. And the ones who arent scared away? They will invite YOU over for dinner.

Maybe you and the gals from work should have a spa day?!!!!
Well, my gf is away in scotland, and I'd rather have a spa day with her!
Hey I am so bored right now that I kneaded bread and it's in the oven! Ah, the good sides of boredom! Do you go to pickwick tonight?
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:36
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

been here 3 years. not one single real friend. Hung out with the old friends of my gf which she had since childhood......prefer not to hang out with them. They still go drink before they go to the bar (outside in the park like a 16year old does)

It is sad really and does take a big toll on your social life. cant wait to move back to the USA in the future and hang out with (many times superficial ) friendly people.
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:45
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Well, my gf is away in scotland, and I'd rather have a spa day with her!
Hey I am so bored right now that I kneaded bread and it's in the oven! Ah, the good sides of boredom! Do you go to pickwick tonight?
I dont drink my friend. And Im busy with work all night

What field do you work in?
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Old 30.07.2011, 21:49
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Or get a mountain bike and join the thousands of sweaty, adrenalin-high bikers enjoying a beer at some mountain restaurant.
Motorcycles have always worked for me!

Tom
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:06
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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Dear all

I find myself living with my Swiss gf near Zug since last October. As I got a job and everything is alright, I struggle to make Swiss friends! I do speak german and understand much of Swiss german by now, but It seems that young people are either shy or too busy all the time...I understand most mates here have known each other since school times, and it kinda hard to enter in a group of already established friends. Any suggestions?

Guido
What hobbies and what pastimes do you have ? Check up on all the Clubs and Vereine ! One of them may be what you need
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:08
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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That's just the way it is here. It happens to me and I'm Swiss.
Also to YOU then the questions :
- what hobbies do you have ?
- what clubs/Vereine have you been member of in the past ?
- how often do you go to EF meetings ?
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:16
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

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I've been trying to make some English speaking friends but they all seem to think that I'm boring. They are probably right

Hääääää ? May be that you ARE boring ? But cheer up, nobody is boring by birth. When going to any meeting, try to be POSITIVE ! If you feel not too well and are asked "we gaats" reply not by "ääää, ja ganz guet" but more realistically "äs mag ie" . If meeting whomever try to memorize what similar meetings you have had and about the positive aspects of those meetings in the past. Overall, try to see things positively
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:16
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

I arrived in Zug a few weeks ago, leaving boyfriends and friends back in England. On my first night here I forced myself to go out and sat in a pub for 2 hours on my own (female in my 30s) before finally being able to strike up conversation. One thing led to another and I was able to make a handful of expat friends and have seen them on several occasions.
I assume the Swiss will be a harder nut to crack and I don't anticipate many if any friends originating from work.
But it's not impossible and there are a lot of non-Swiss in a similar position as you! Hang in there.. But you have to put yourself out there. Clubs, pubs, sports associations, get busy! Good luck..
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:17
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Re: Difficulty in making friends?

Haha sorry that was one boyfriend back in England not boyfriends...oops
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Old 30.07.2011, 22:25
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On my first night here I forced myself to go out and sat in a pub for 2 hours on my own (female in my 30s) before finally being able to strike up conversation. One thing led to another and I was able to make a handful of expat friends .
Wow.... I cant imagine why this Italian guy hasnt had as much luck as you?
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