Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:26
Mowvich's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Genève
Posts: 1,422
Groaned at 28 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 1,308 Times in 607 Posts
Mowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
If Switzerland was never your idea of a dream place to live in before you came, it wont ever become one, and moving around inside in it you just get variations on the same theme.
You wont find what you want but be careful about what your daughter needs too.
This is a valid point, i never and will never totally get in harmony here whatever i would do.....i practically tried to build up my life here as close as it can be to me and my real life style....it was good for a moment but at the end of the day it never felt the same.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Mowvich for this useful post:
  #62  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:32
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Lyss
Posts: 910
Groaned at 37 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 883 Times in 434 Posts
glinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
Add to that:
- you live in perhaps the most safe, politically and financially stable country on Earth
- you live in a beautiful area of a stunningly beautiful country
- Switzerland is a pure direct-democracy where personal freedoms are respected
- You live in a country with some of highest average incomes and lowest taxes in the world.
What a load of bollocks. This are the exact reasons while the Swiss think live in the best place on earth. If so, why aren't they the happiest bunch of people around?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank glinaa for this useful post:
This user groans at glinaa for this post:
  #63  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:36
Bruce C.'s Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Solothurn region
Posts: 45
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Bruce C. has no particular reputation at present
Re: I am not happy :(

As you know I don't fully know your situation but heres my 2 cents.

I think you should say here for your daughter. I think that would be an investment that would both benefit her and even yourself in the long run.

As for the not liking it here. I would suggest trying to change things, go out to new places, meet new people, do some new activities. You said that your creativity feels sapped here, but from what I've seen there is a lot of creativity here, so perhaps seek that out. Meet the artist in the areas that you care about. Maybe also try to plug into the Egypt community if here is one in your area.

For me, I have lived my whole life in the US, now I live here. It's different but I feel people are people and there seems to be enough of a variety that I can do pretty much whatever sorts of things I like.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:36
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 7,618
Groaned at 416 Times in 279 Posts
Thanked 17,911 Times in 5,536 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
What a load of bollocks. This are the exact reasons while the Swiss think live in the best place on earth. If so, why aren't they the happiest bunch of people around?
Um... most are. They just don't show their emotions.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:38
Amanandhisdogs's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Central CH
Posts: 153
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 59 Times in 44 Posts
Amanandhisdogs has no particular reputation at present
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
I have never been disconnected from home, and i totally understand the obstacles of coming back, i find myself more adopted when i go back than my fellow Egyptians who live there already.....i even got offered to get my job, house and everything i left 6 years ago back on the moment i land......i know in the west it might not happen be this way but this is how it works back home.
You are very lucky to be offered your job, house etc. back! I guess it then won't be a very big hassle to have your daughter over or to visit her in CH pretty often?
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:38
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Lyss
Posts: 910
Groaned at 37 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 883 Times in 434 Posts
glinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
Um... most are. They just don't show their emotions.
They do have ways to express:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...y_suicide_rate
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:40
colinwheeler's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Gersau
Posts: 998
Groaned at 16 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 872 Times in 440 Posts
colinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
This is a valid point, i never and will never totally get in harmony here whatever i would do.....i practically tried to build up my life here as close as it can be to me and my real life style....it was good for a moment but at the end of the day it never felt the same.
Mowvich, remember that the first and most important chains that you are bound by are in your own mind, not in the environment around you. There is nothing in the world that you or anybody can do to help you be happy in a place when you don't want to be happy.

Quote:
View Post
What a load of bollocks.
You are making a criticism of a subjective statement (i.e. somebodies opionion). That is generally considdered insulting. The statistics agree with the statement that you shooting down, generally people agree with the statement that you are shooting down and your basis for making this "bollocks" criticism is becuase you don't think the Swiss are happy? If I could groan I would.
__________________
Living it up in Gersau.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:42
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Lyss
Posts: 910
Groaned at 37 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 883 Times in 434 Posts
glinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
You are making a criticism of a subjective statement. That is generally considdered insulting. The statistics agree with the statement that you shooting down, generally people agree with the statement that you are shooting down and your basis for making this "bollocks" criticism is becuase you don't think the Swiss are happy? If I could groan I would.
Well, Karl just felt its allright to insult all the people from Egypt, by listing his highly questionable criteria.

If everything is so perfect, why aren't the people of Switzerland the happiest?

One more link as a reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Planet_Index

Egypt is clearly higher in the ranking.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:43
mabern's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: V.South West of Zurich
Posts: 1,193
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 417 Times in 285 Posts
mabern has an excellent reputationmabern has an excellent reputationmabern has an excellent reputationmabern has an excellent reputation
Re: I am not happy :(

But isn't not showing their emotions a key part to the whole problem?
That makes things "beautiful" and stable and "safe" for some.
And as barren as a desert to others?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank mabern for this useful post:
  #70  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:45
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 1,191
Groaned at 11 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 1,781 Times in 704 Posts
ceppych has a reputation beyond reputeceppych has a reputation beyond reputeceppych has a reputation beyond reputeceppych has a reputation beyond reputeceppych has a reputation beyond reputeceppych has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
This is a valid point, i never and will never totally get in harmony here whatever i would do.....i practically tried to build up my life here as close as it can be to me and my real life style....it was good for a moment but at the end of the day it never felt the same.
I do not like thee Dr. Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell,
But this I know, and know full well,
I do not like thee Dr. Fell.

An old nursery-rhyme from 1600 and something.
Can obviously be applied to a place as well as a person
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank ceppych for this useful post:
  #71  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:45
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 70
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 108 Times in 33 Posts
whitecat74 is considered knowledgeablewhitecat74 is considered knowledgeablewhitecat74 is considered knowledgeable
Re: I am not happy :(

Wow... I could have written that myself. I haven't been here long, just 6 weeks but was just texting someone last week that "I feel like I am living someone else's life"... I have toyed with the idea of just walking away, irrespective of personal/financial cost and career.. I'm trying to stay positive but its a strange place. Hang in there i all I can say, you are not alone. Try to build on the positives and becoming yourself gain here, even if you break a few rules along the way.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank whitecat74 for this useful post:
  #72  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:48
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 7,618
Groaned at 416 Times in 279 Posts
Thanked 17,911 Times in 5,536 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
But isn't not showing their emotions a key part to the whole problem?
That makes things "beautiful" and stable and "safe" for some.
And as barren as a desert to others?
It's only a problem for those who feel it is. The Swiss quite like being stable and safe. Showing emotion involves risk.

I have many good Swiss friends who show emotions but only to those they know well. I also know many Swiss who are very emotional after a few beers and cafe schnapps to the point of being downright uncomfortable.

Suicide is indeed a problem in Switzerland but the Swiss are becoming more accepting of depression and its need to be treated as a sickness and not a weakness.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank olygirl for this useful post:
  #73  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:49
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: OOO
Posts: 3,724
Groaned at 79 Times in 55 Posts
Thanked 1,683 Times in 1,017 Posts
Sada has a reputation beyond reputeSada has a reputation beyond reputeSada has a reputation beyond reputeSada has a reputation beyond reputeSada has a reputation beyond reputeSada has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

So basically this is something you need to sort out with your ex then right?
You could go back easily but you want her to move back with your child ... is that it? But she doesn't want to and therefore you'll be separated from your child ...

Quote:
View Post

Someone also mentioned why i came here in the first place, I were happily living in Egypt, having a great place, a great jobs, lots of friends and great happy life that anyone can wish for, i actually refused relocating here for over 6 months when my ex was pregnant, she just convinced me that she wants to come here to deliver the baby, spend sometime with the family, then when i came here and after delivery, she said it's better off to live here, that why i'm here so far....if she decides to move now to Egypt, all these problem will be solved in no time as i can practically get all my life back if not better in no time.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Sada for this useful post:
  #74  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:55
colinwheeler's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Gersau
Posts: 998
Groaned at 16 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 872 Times in 440 Posts
colinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond reputecolinwheeler has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
Off topic so please let's take it to another thread. http://www.englishforum.ch/family-ma...you-agree.html
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank colinwheeler for this useful post:
  #75  
Old 14.08.2011, 15:55
Mowvich's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Genève
Posts: 1,422
Groaned at 28 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 1,308 Times in 607 Posts
Mowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
So basically this is something you need to sort out with your ex then right?
You could go back easily but you want her to move back with your child ... is that it? But she doesn't want to and therefore you'll be separated from your child ...
If only it was that easy as posting it on a public forum
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Mowvich for this useful post:
  #76  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:03
Textoch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas, USA (formerly Vaud, CH)
Posts: 1,201
Groaned at 25 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 3,058 Times in 937 Posts
Textoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
I were in Egypt last week with my daughter which was her first time, she admitted to find it a better place to live than here, she agrees to actually live there and she doesn't even speak the language yet......which really made me think more about my whole situation.....i even tried to discuss with her mum if she would ever consider going back to Egypt but she refused the idea
Mowvich, so sorry that you have agonized over this situation for so long. Not knowing your custody arrangements, it would seem that your love and devotion to your daughter (as evidenced in your staying in place in CH for these last 5-plus years despite your feelings), means that your first step should be to have a deep discussion with your ex regarding what her feelings are about this situation. While she might not be willing to go back to Egypt, perhaps there is a way you two could "meet in the middle" so you could live
elsewhere (maybe not in CH) and still have a visitation arrangement that is workable in order that your little girl doesn't have to be away from her daddy at such a formative period in her life. Choosing to have a child definitely requires flexibility, and sometimes sacrifice. Unfortunately, if she is unwilling to work with you, the next step is deciding what level of sacrifice you are able to endure, and for how long.

Your daughter is already almost six, and that is an age that children are generally resilient when faced with changes such as living arrangements/location, schools, lifestyle, etc., (especially when they are secure in their emotional environment) whereas the longer you delay resolving your
situation, the heavier toll it may take on your daughter. I think the most important thing to do is act soon, or resolve to tough it out for the next 12 or so years on behalf of your daughter. That is not an eternity, and who knows how your personal situation might brighten, even in CH, with, say, a change in your job, living place, or other personal relationships!

Wishing you much hope and happiness as you move forward.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Textoch for this useful post:
  #77  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:05
Nil's Avatar
Nil Nil is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Basel
Posts: 10,356
Groaned at 428 Times in 333 Posts
Thanked 16,045 Times in 6,322 Posts
Nil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond reputeNil has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Sadly, no matter how much you change your habits, friends, decorations and venue where you go out, or even town, you won't feel better.

It is simple as it is: Mo is not happy here because the culture, the way of living, the way of thinking doesn't fit with him, with what he knows, what he aspire, what is burning inside of him.

This is pure emotion, it is not about being bored and just turn few things around. It is something deep he won't never find in Switzerland. It is cultural.

Mo, you have to make a choice; Accept, adapt and deal with it or go back to where you are happy and make a budget, time and energy to come over to see your daughter as often as possible and her to come to you to be with your family and friends too.

It is not a problem if you go back home, as long as you have the money and time to see her often that she will be happy too.

Hugs
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Nil for this useful post:
  #78  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:10
Mowvich's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Genève
Posts: 1,422
Groaned at 28 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 1,308 Times in 607 Posts
Mowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond reputeMowvich has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

You are totally right my dear.......it's all inside, it's all core, it's nothing about the superficial life i'm living at all....i feel like being torn apart....i'm physically here but emotionally and mentally back home.....i just don't belong here and i would never ever become Swiss even if it comes on a plate of gold

I were so hoping to have my permit C at some point to be able to live home for a while with the ability to come visit my daughter frequently, but this is not the case now

Quote:
View Post
Sadly, no matter how much you change your habits, friends, decorations and venue where you go out, or even town, you won't feel better.

It is simple as it is: Mo is not happy here because the culture, the way of living, the way of thinking doesn't fit with him, with what he knows, what he aspire, what is burning inside of him.

This is pure emotion, it is not about being bored and just turn few things around. It is something deep he won't never find in Switzerland. It is cultural.

Mo, you have to make a choice; Accept, adapt and deal with it or go back to where you are happy and make a budget, time and energy to come over to see your daughter as often as possible and her to come to you to be with your family and friends too.

It is not a problem if you go back home, as long as you have the money and time to see her often that she will be happy too.

Hugs
__________________
Silence is an argument carried out by other means.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Mowvich for this useful post:
  #79  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:12
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Lyss
Posts: 910
Groaned at 37 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 883 Times in 434 Posts
glinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond reputeglinaa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

Quote:
View Post
I were in Egypt last week with my daughter which was her first time, she admitted to find it a better place to live than here, she agrees to actually live there and she doesn't even speak the language yet......which really made me think more about my whole situation.....i even tried to discuss with her mum if she would ever consider going back to Egypt but she refused the idea
Mowvich, I really symphatize with you on this. Whenever going back from my home country, I endure the most teribble emptiness already on the train back from the airport. "Is it worth it?", is the question I always ask to myself. It takes quite a while to get my emotions back together.

Wealth, health and education are all very western criteria of estimating wellbeing, but they seem to overlook the 4th dimension - the spice of life. There is a reason for very high depression rate in Switzerland. The first thing I learned while living here is that money doesn't buy happiness.

Life needs contrasts, dynamics, ups and downs, etc, just like there is no good without bad. During a weekend in Poland I get to see more of both genuine smiles and grumpy groans, then I do during a month in Switzerland.
But then, I also tend to overlook all the downsides of life back in Poland, which I don't have here. My commute to work is 5 minutes, I never have to work Saturdays or even Sundays, I don't have to deal with inefficient bureaucracy, long lines at the doctors and so on.

My way of finding balance in life is to travel a lot, whenever I can. I never had and never will spend a single day of vacation in Switzerland. In fact, I choose to work overtime just to be able to extend my weekends for this one extra day abroad.

Before trying anything radical, try to add some variety to your life. If you find going back to Egypt depressive, then seek your variety elsewhere.

Experience the spice of life, without having to endure the downsides. This is a priviledge I have living here in Switzerland, and this is why I'm not moving out.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank glinaa for this useful post:
  #80  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:13
miniMia's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: romandie
Posts: 9,975
Groaned at 101 Times in 92 Posts
Thanked 9,106 Times in 4,522 Posts
miniMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond reputeminiMia has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I am not happy :(

I think you should get off EF. There is so much negativity on here, exactly the comments you are talking about "you've been switzerlanded", etc. Sometime when I read the stuff on here I think "wow, I must live on a different planet".

Go out with your Swiss friends, go out to EF events (or create one yourself), go to a club/group for Egyptian expats and stop thinking about what you are missing. Start focusing on what you do have. And spend as much time with your daughter as possible.

I know it's not easy, but focusing on the negative is like a vicious circle.

Good luck & take care!
__________________
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank miniMia for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Not so Happy Swiss National day for one unlucky b*gger saint7uk Daily life 15 02.08.2011 12:55
I am not a guest! Nil Complaints corner 55 06.11.2010 05:24
Happy But Should Not Be Cashboy Complaints corner 20 29.12.2009 17:05
I am happy to discover this forum! ChangedByAMod028 Introductions 1 27.05.2008 21:24
Not happy with restrictive editing policy stoked Forum support 5 16.03.2008 17:47


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 14:01.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0