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  #81  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:15
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Re: I am not happy :(

It's quite a catch 22 situation you are in mate.

I wish you all the best in your decision making.
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  #82  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:15
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Re: I am not happy :(

i know exactly what you mean about this 'inner dying' i get exactly the same thing whenever i go back to london, or in fact anywhere else where there is life.

to be honest, i find that if i avoid travelling, then after a while in switzerland you forget about it and don't notice it so much. but obviously, that's not the ideal state of affairs.

maybe you should try moving back to egypt and see how it goes, you can always make trips back to visit.
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  #83  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:18
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Re: I am not happy :(

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This is a valid point, i never and will never totally get in harmony here whatever i would do.....i practically tried to build up my life here as close as it can be to me and my real life style....it was good for a moment but at the end of the day it never felt the same.
Sounds like you need to make a decision.
I wonder how many of us here in Switzerland are accepting situations which are far from ideal, but which simply are the best under a given set of circumstances.
I think it's indecision that's eating you up Mowvich.
It's not easy, very few important decisions in life are, but they have to be made nevertheless.
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  #84  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:21
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Sounds like you need to make a decision.
I wonder how many of us here in Switzerland are accepting situations which are far from ideal, but which simply are the best under a given set of circumstances.
I think it's indecision that's eating you up Mowvich.
It's not easy, very few important decisions in life are, but they have to be made nevertheless.
I'm a firm believer that if the salaries weren't so good, there would be a lot less expats coming to or wanting to come to Switzerland.
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  #85  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:24
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Sounds like you need to make a decision.
I wonder how many of us here in Switzerland are accepting situations which are far from ideal, but which simply are the best under a given set of circumstances.
I think it's indecision that's eating you up Mowvich.
It's not easy, very few important decisions in life are, but they have to be made nevertheless.
I think you are right. Normally I would tell someone who was so unhappy to pack up and leave. Life really is too short to mess around and be miserable. But I know Movich has his child here that he doesn't want to lose touch with. So that makes it a much more difficult choice. It's tough. I feel for him.
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Old 14.08.2011, 16:30
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Re: I am not happy :(

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I think you are right. Normally I would tell someone who was so unhappy to pack up and leave. Life really is too short to mess around and be miserable. But I know Movich has his child here that he doesn't want to lose touch with. So that makes it a much more difficult choice. It's tough. I feel for him.
Well I am, of course, speaking from experience and now, having family all over the world, I'm never in the right place. I'm just in the place I've decided I have to be in right now.
It's indecision that eats you up.
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Old 14.08.2011, 16:40
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Well I am, of course, speaking from experience and now, having family all over the world, I'm never in the right place. I'm just in the place I've decided I have to be in right now.
It's indecision that eats you up.
I agree. I'm so ready to move now & the waiting and the wondering is doing my head in. Right now I just want to GO!! and I can't. Not yet. Arrghh! (sorry. had to let that out. lol)
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Old 14.08.2011, 16:44
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Re: I am not happy :(

Way to go for putting yourself out there on this forum in the first place, being honest with your feelings, and asking for help. Look at all the replies you got! I have a quote to offer you.

Quote:
If you like, here is an experiment you could try. It takes just a little of your time and can be productive of great good. For one brief moment, imagine that everything you now believe about the human condition and the world around you is wrong. Imagine every conclusion you have ever made is false, that you have been and are dreaming. Imagine no one you know has ever died, that it was all a magical drama created just for you. Imagine no one has even ever been ill, that no one has suffered in any way. Imagine the memories you have of your own pain are false, that you have never and never can suffer in any way, that you have simply been asleep and dreaming strange fantasies.MSI, Ascension

Last edited by MusicChick; 15.08.2011 at 13:41. Reason: fixed quote
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  #89  
Old 14.08.2011, 16:53
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Re: I am not happy :(

Mowvich do you think that your feelings might have been exacerbated by the revolution in Egypt?

I know that when I was in Iran during the revolution I really wanted to stay, I felt awful when I returned, my heart was elsewhere. Being there, being part of history in the making made life feel real. the anticlimax of coming home was awful. It was almost like the country giving birth and you weren't there to be part of its upbringing. I returned to stuff that seemed really trivial and meaningless in comparison.

If another Muburak was instated or the military took power, would you still go back or would you want to raise your daughter there?

I have to be honest, that if you leave her behind ( and I am not suggesting anything rash- please don't do that!) the chances are that you will lose contact. How much do remember of the people in your life before the age of 7? She will become more Swiss and you less Swiss. You will probably remarry, have more kids and they will be close to you.
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Old 14.08.2011, 17:01
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Re: I am not happy :(

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I have to be honest, that if you leave her behind ( and I am not suggesting anything rash- please don't do that!) the chances are that you will lose contact.
Actually I disagree. With amount of ways we can keep in touch today, skype, video, facebook, email, so many flights, etc. etc. I don't think he will lose contact with her. But of course it will be a different relationship and it will have to be a conscious choice to stay in contact everyday.
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  #91  
Old 14.08.2011, 17:15
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Re: I am not happy :(

Suryasurya, where does the "Ascension" (????) quote come from? Because it is so to the point.
Abstract Switzerland does not exist, there isn't ONE truth about this place. It's all a matter of individual interpretation. Mowvich has his own unique pair of glasses with which he sees the place, he has his own heart with which he feels it.
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  #92  
Old 14.08.2011, 17:23
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Actually I disagree. With amount of ways we can keep in touch today, skype, video, facebook, email, so many flights, etc. etc. I don't think he will lose contact with her. But of course it will be a different relationship and it will have to be a conscious choice to stay in contact everyday.
There aren't many 6 years old that know how to skype or are on facebook. It would take adult help, probably Mum's who given the situation may not be that supportive.

On top of that- this is a touchy issue, how many Swiss kids do you know, left at the age of 6 that can maintain interest in a Middle -Eastern father? Geneva society has large pockets of anti-Arab sentiment. It would be difficult in the face of such racism for a 6 year old to support an absent Middle-Eastern father. Unless of course Mum finds an Egyptian foster-dad.
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  #93  
Old 14.08.2011, 17:35
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Re: I am not happy :(

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It would be difficult in the face of such racism for a 6 year old to support an absent Middle-Eastern father. Unless of course Mum finds an Egyptian foster-dad.
Just a note: There is no racial difference between most people from the Middle-East and Europe. This could be prejudice or bigotry but not racism. Sorry I just worry about using such a loaded word.
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Old 14.08.2011, 17:49
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Just a note: There is no racial difference between most people from the Middle-East and Europe. This could be prejudice or bigotry but not racism. Sorry I just worry about using such a loaded word.
Tell the Swiss that!

Alternatively Mowvich, you stick out till you get your C permit. Who knows in the meantime you might even find a nice Egyptian wife who will join you in Switzerland.
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  #95  
Old 14.08.2011, 17:55
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Well, Karl just felt its allright to insult all the people from Egypt, by listing his highly questionable criteria.

If everything is so perfect, why aren't the people of Switzerland the happiest?

One more link as a reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Planet_Index

Egypt is clearly higher in the ranking.
Whoaa, why are you being so venomous? You must be having a bad day (or life).
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  #96  
Old 14.08.2011, 18:05
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Well, Karl just felt its allright to insult all the people from Egypt, by listing his highly questionable criteria.

If everything is so perfect, why aren't the people of Switzerland the happiest?

One more link as a reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Planet_Index

Egypt is clearly higher in the ranking.
Interesting, if people in El Salvador (9th happiest?) are so happy, why are they leaving? Net migration: -8.95....

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There aren't many 6 years old that know how to skype or are on facebook. It would take adult help, probably Mum's who given the situation may not be that supportive.
Oh yes there are! Kids know more about computers than most adults. But we can agree to disagree. It's Movich's life not mine.

I'm not even going to get into the racism comment. It seems to be a thing with you that I just don't see but you seem to see racism everywhere.
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  #97  
Old 14.08.2011, 18:09
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Re: I am not happy :(

Mowvich, several of the things you mentioned in your original post struck a chord with me:

1) "Ain't Momma happy, ain't NOOObody happy." I followed that advice (from a T-shirt at a state fair in the US) and separated from my kids' dad about 9 years ago, and never regretted it. So I totally understand why you think you need to leave - and that it's for your daughter's sake, not in spite of her. But:

2) I've moved several times in search of happiness - I'm almost a professional at it. And the conclusion I've come to, for myself, is: it doesn't do the trick. As several people have suggested in this thread, nothing was ever as good as I thought it was going to be. So, change for happiness's sake is good, but maybe some changes are better than others?

3) I'm now separated from my almost-17-year-old son. Five years ago I almost lost him to an illness. We got incredibly close during that time. Now I'm living here without him and his sister (who is older and at college, so it hurts less). Which do you think has been harder for me? Far and away the separation.

I've been lurking and have read all of the posts in this thread. And what I notice is that you only respond to the posts that talk about the external things, like Karl's post, the statistics, the suggestions that you volunteer, the questions about whether moving within Switzerland would help, the generalizations about Swiss culture, etc. Whereas the posts that get to the heart of your original assertion - that you're unhappy - don't get much response at all.

Not to encourage abstraction at a time like this, but DO you know what makes you happy? I assume when you got together with your daughter's mother, you thought you'd be happy then. How good are you at this happiness thing? Maybe you still have a few lessons to learn about it?

If you like thinking about external circumstances rather than your ability to change your own life and outlook, chew on these:

- If you hadn't been told you could have your job, house, and life back in Egypt, would you be considering this?
- If your daughter (who is too young to know the answer to these questions, admit it) hadn't said she could live there, would you be considering this?
- You can't classify a whole nation of people as one thing or another, especially not a nation with this many pockets of people from vastly different places. Are you 100% sure you can't find your kind of people here? I'm theorizing there - I haven't actually managed this myself. But I believe I can.
- You can't MAKE your ex understand your position - let alone anyone who has an impact on your ability to travel back and forth to see your daughter or have her travel to see you - or agree to move back.

When all is said and done, you're still depending on other people to make you happy - your people back home, your ex, your daughter, the Swiss (all of them, no less!). Will that stop if/when you go back to Egypt?

Just my 2 cents (OK, two francs, more like). Hope it helps. I meant it to.
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  #98  
Old 14.08.2011, 18:35
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Re: I am not happy :(

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What a load of bollocks. This are the exact reasons while the Swiss think live in the best place on earth. If so, why aren't they the happiest bunch of people around?
I always used to joke that they act miserable so that no one from the outside world will realise how beautiful it is and try to take it over.

But seriously why do so many Swiss people live in other parts of the world?
And why is it that they don't exhibit the same nationalistic pride out there in the big wide world that many of us do in their country?
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Old 14.08.2011, 18:54
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Re: I am not happy :(

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I always used to joke that they act miserable so that no one from the outside world will realise how beautiful it is and try to take it over.

But seriously why do so many Swiss people live in other parts of the world?
And why is it that they don't exhibit the same nationalistic pride out there in the big wide world that many of us do in their country?
I'd love to know how many Swiss really do live all over the world? I know we Portuguese are all over the world... But Swiss? I don't see it. But maybe I"m not looking in the right place.
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Old 14.08.2011, 19:09
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Re: I am not happy :(

Sagitta: The quote I posted comes from the book "Ascension" which was written by the author MSI (short for Maharishi Sadasiva Isham). You can actually download the free ebook or order a copy (in English or German) on the website www.theishayafoundation.eu. It is a great book about spiritual evolution, and the website also talks about the practice of Ascension, which is a series of mechanical techniques to bring the mind inward toward greater happiness and peace.

And, you are right, we each are creating our own worlds and realities - and though there are some similarities on the outside, no two worlds are ever exactly the same - for eg., my world is different than your world, and yours is different than the next person, etc. And, our worlds are created by our beliefs and judgements. Therefore, clear the mind and come back to the present moment, so that we can create from the Source instead.
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