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Old 15.08.2011, 14:48
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Re: I am not happy :(

I have a lot of friends who work pretty hard (well, same all over CH, really) to make GE, a place, which is not their standard best place on earth, into a place they enjoy and feel like at home. It takes an effort, both on the culture and the new ones, to settle in happily and own the place, at least a little bit. There are so many social things to do in GE, plus the great unies, the people who bring different culture in everyday, culture, I am not sure why people object to GE so much. On the other hand, it is really expensive, noisy and dirty, but that's normal downside of a city. Of course, we can all just stay in, and nag about how boring this place is, hahahaha..
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  #142  
Old 17.08.2011, 04:33
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Re: I am not happy :(

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I'm not happy living here for way too many reasons, i so want to leave immediately now but i'm stuck.....i'm so attached with my little daughter that i cannot leave, when she once heard me chatting about it on the phone with a friends, she totally broke down crying.

I'm not feeling it's me here, this is not my life, not even close....i miss my freedom, i miss my social life, i miss having an active life, friends, family and lots more things...i feel i'm dying slowly here and cannot do anything about it, after 6 years living here i see myself living the same routine and i'm missing my passion, adventures and motivated ex-life i used to have....i'm always a survivor in the worst times and situations....i can build myself from zero to the top with no problems, but this time i seriously give up and i don't know what to do.....live happily away from my daughter or keep living unhappy beside her.....it's the hardest choice i've ever encountered in my entire life.
You should never have this kind of doubt, because your daughter is the most important thing you have now. And if she was born in Switzerland, chances are she is now more "Swiss" than "Egyptian".


1) What is your citizenship(dual?)?
2) What kind of permit do you have?
3) Do you have more Egyptian/African friends than Swiss friends?
_

p.s: First post here. Long time lurker and i promise i will not ask about salaries..
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  #143  
Old 17.08.2011, 08:01
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Thank you guys for all the support, i think the problem is the principles of life here, it doesn't relate at all to what i'm used to or believe in wether at home or where i lived / stayed before.......it's just so much stress for no particular reason, it's so materialistic with no human interaction, it's totally ignorant to the importance of the social aspects of human life......it's basically dead for what i'm used to, i just feel i'm just wasting every moment of my life rather than enjoying it.
How about a break with CH for a while. Your daughter is more like you than you realise. Switzerland is a great place, and it could be even better when you come back, visiting, perm, whatever, refreshed and with a new purpose.
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  #144  
Old 17.08.2011, 08:29
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Re: I am not happy :(

Movich , I will tell you honestly from bottom of my heart what I think about your problem, straight talk no BS , so listen
YOU are from Egypt, and you live in Switzerland, and you complain about it ?
Take a break go to Egypt to your country live there interact with people and stay there , I bet after lets say a year living there you will be begging for Switzerland, you will come back and kiss Swiss land when you get out of airplane. It seems like you have to good and you forgot how bad you had
It is simple case Switzerland is no prison if you dont like it, borders are still open, make a move ) I bet you will not )))
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  #145  
Old 17.08.2011, 09:17
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Re: I am not happy :(

...c'mon, I think we all understand Mowvich's quandary, how when you get the dark view of one place/thing/person and have one foot on Ali Baba's Magic Carpet, you can't just switch a switch or beat on it to change. It's not a logical, intellectual question, rather an internal process that has to find its own resolution, whether it is convenient or not.

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  #146  
Old 17.08.2011, 11:52
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Movich , I will tell you honestly from bottom of my heart what I think about your problem, straight talk no BS , so listen
YOU are from Egypt, and you live in Switzerland, and you complain about it ?
Take a break go to Egypt to your country live there interact with people and stay there , I bet after lets say a year living there you will be begging for Switzerland, you will come back and kiss Swiss land when you get out of airplane. It seems like you have to good and you forgot how bad you had
It is simple case Switzerland is no prison if you dont like it, borders are still open, make a move ) I bet you will not )))
Hey, the OP just doesn't feel like he has being accepted here despite the fact he arrived 6 years ago. SIMPLE.

Anyway i think it's different when you go in a country for highschool/university, and for work(it takes much more years to integrate).

So the most important question i would ask to the OP is did you really love switzerland before you came?
_

I come from a "black" African country, and when i was a teenager i was using most of my time to design concept vehicles(cars, helicopter, etc). After my technical highschool degree my parents wanted me to go to the USA or Canada to study mechanical Engineering. But because i had a Lamborghini Diablo poster in my "African" bedroom, i asked for Italy and dreamed to build a successful African car company someday like Ferrari.
So i came here to "learn" from the best.

After several years people in the bus, streets, supermarket keep asking me "are you Italian"? I know it feels good and that MANY think i'm Italian even if they can see i'm black. But i think they feel i appreciate and love their country, culture, i know popular songs and can sing most of them, and i speak their language with perfect accent(I was in the streets when Italy won the Football World Cup in 2006 and i received plenty of kisses from hotties and did party with them .. lol).

So to the OP, i really hope most of his time he doesn't speak his "native" language more than the "local" language because he has too many friends from his country in Geneva.

I have little sisters in Germany, and they complain all the tima and just don't like Germany and his people. I went through their Facebook profile and find out that they have ONLY African friends there. what???? You are living in Germany not in Africa i said. I was so furious one of them had to cancel her FB. You will never learn the local language, understand the jokes, sing old songs with the local people if you hang out with all but the local guys.

_

So MONWICH listen here..
Take some time and go somewhere else to recharge your batteries and come back. BUT, you always has to remember anyway that Switzerland is not Egypt so don't try to have the Egyptian life, environment here and you will benefit from it. Trust me. I hope you will find a solution soon.


p.s: May be i got it wrong and countries speaking German language are just different. i don't know.
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  #147  
Old 17.08.2011, 12:06
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Re: I am not happy :(

Sorry Mowvich but i got your name wrong. my apologies.
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  #148  
Old 17.08.2011, 12:12
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Re: I am not happy :(

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p.s: May be i got it wrong and countries speaking German language are just different. i don't know.
Also important to note that Geneva is very French speaking, rather than German.
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Old 17.08.2011, 12:20
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Also important to note that Geneva is very French speaking, rather than German.
I know.. But the swiss swiss like my two friends from Lugano and Lausanne also speaks a little German. Anyway i was talking about the culture and Geneva means UN, UNHCR, CERN. i don't it's more "industrial" and "financial" than Zurich for example.
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  #150  
Old 17.08.2011, 12:28
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Re: I am not happy :(

I have read this entire thread and completely understand where Mowvich is coming from. I have lived here for a year and a half and I can relate to his feelings of emptiness here and just not fitting in. I have made a huge effort to integrate here and have a decent group of friends, but something is always lacking or missing ..I find this place almost soulless and feel like I have turn myself on 'mute' to survive here.

At the beginning of the year, i became severely depressed and sought professional help which has helped to get me out of a very dark space but the rest has been up to me. I went away to the UK a week ago and it did me the world of good. It was great to be in London and feel it's energy. After a couple of days though, I found that I was quite ready come back here which I didn't expect. I have thought about moving to the UK as this is where my husband is from but after all that has been going there recently, it def isn't more appealing than here right now..

So basically I have decided that whilst this place is def not for me in the long term, It is where I need to be for now, for different reasons. So I intend to make the most of it.. It is really tough but I try to take each day as it comes and do little things that make me happy.. Changing my attitude towards this place has really gone a long way. Before I used to have my 'armour' up wherever I went , because it seemed necessary. I have now let me guard down and whilst I can't change the environment here and I have control over how much I let it affect me.. Just my 5 rappen..
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  #151  
Old 28.08.2011, 22:53
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Re: I am not happy :(

Thanks everyone again for such informative debate and opinions.

I set a deadline till October to make up my mind and decide....i'm analyzing the entire situation and what the best options are.

For some people who asked few questions:
  • I didn't want to move to CH in the first place, i actually refused it totally and it took my ex 6 months to convince me to move here temporarily till she delivers the baby but then she changed her mind and wanted to stay here.
  • The point about going to Egypt for 1 year and then coming back to kiss CH land, I'm a very proud Egyptian and no offense to CH but i do appreciate my country & people much more than anywhere else in the world regardless of people saying it's good or bad.
  • About going back to Egypt for vacation, i have been there 4 times already this year and the fifth is planned in November, dunno if it's gonna be the final trip or not.
  • Regrading friends, i have very good Swiss friends and i love them so much, they have been always for me whenever i needed them and if there's another reason i'm hesitating about leaving beside my daughter, it's them.
  • I don't have except 1 Swiss / Egyptian friend and she wants to leave too regardless of spending most her life here
To simplify how i really feel, i'm physically living here but mentally, psychologically and emotionally back home, i don't know but Egypt & it's social life are so special to be compared to anything else imo
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  #152  
Old 29.08.2011, 10:41
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Thanks everyone again for such informative debate and opinions.

I set a deadline till October to make up my mind and decide....i'm analyzing the entire situation and what the best options are.

For some people who asked few questions:
  • I didn't want to move to CH in the first place, i actually refused it totally and it took my ex 6 months to convince me to move here temporarily till she delivers the baby but then she changed her mind and wanted to stay here.
  • The point about going to Egypt for 1 year and then coming back to kiss CH land, I'm a very proud Egyptian and no offense to CH but i do appreciate my country & people much more than anywhere else in the world regardless of people saying it's good or bad.
  • About going back to Egypt for vacation, i have been there 4 times already this year and the fifth is planned in November, dunno if it's gonna be the final trip or not.
  • Regrading friends, i have very good Swiss friends and i love them so much, they have been always for me whenever i needed them and if there's another reason i'm hesitating about leaving beside my daughter, it's them.
  • I don't have except 1 Swiss / Egyptian friend and she wants to leave too regardless of spending most her life here
To simplify how i really feel, i'm physically living here but mentally, psychologically and emotionally back home, i don't know but Egypt & it's social life are so special to be compared to anything else imo
your thread really hits home for me. I moved here 6 months ago from the US for a job (to get experience). I am starting to realize this country is not for me. I cannot relate to the way of life here. Like that cliche "You dont know what you have until its gone." I didnt know how great my life was in the US, until I moved here.

I think you are a good parent to give up your life in Egypt for your daughter. But sometimes we have to realize and accept the reality that certain things will not work out the way we hope them to. I admire you for really trying to be here physically for your daughter, for 6 years. I see this as a bad marriage, and it is a bad idea to stay in a bad marriage for your kid. If you cannot be happy and be at your best 100%, you wont be able to give the best to your daughter.

I hope the support from everyone will help you decide in October.
Home is where the heart is.
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  #153  
Old 29.08.2011, 11:51
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Re: I am not happy :(

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Movich , I will tell you honestly from bottom of my heart what I think about your problem, straight talk no BS , so listen
YOU are from Egypt, and you live in Switzerland, and you complain about it ?
Take a break go to Egypt to your country live there interact with people and stay there , I bet after lets say a year living there you will be begging for Switzerland, you will come back and kiss Swiss land when you get out of airplane. It seems like you have to good and you forgot how bad you had
It is simple case Switzerland is no prison if you dont like it, borders are still open, make a move ) I bet you will not )))
How do YOU know he had it bad in Egypt? Sure, you've seen it all on tv...What a load of crap...
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  #154  
Old 29.08.2011, 12:03
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Re: I am not happy :(

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I set a deadline till October to make up my mind and decide....i'm analyzing the entire situation and what the best options are.

To simplify how i really feel, i'm physically living here but mentally, psychologically and emotionally back home, i don't know but Egypt & it's social life are so special to be compared to anything else imo
Mowvich, to me it seems that you have reached your decision already, but you are chastising yourself by delaying your formal decision some more weeks. I fully understand that you do not want to leave your daughter, but you won't be any use to her when you develop into a nervous wreck because you don't want to be here. Do remember that she will always be your daughter, though!

Good luck, I wish you strength!
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  #155  
Old 29.08.2011, 12:07
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Re: I am not happy :(

Seems to me you had made up your mind way before posting here- and only you can make the final decision. Bonne chance.
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  #156  
Old 30.08.2011, 09:51
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Re: I am not happy :(

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your thread really hits home for me. I moved here 6 months ago from the US for a job (to get experience). I am starting to realize this country is not for me. I cannot relate to the way of life here. Like that cliche "You dont know what you have until its gone." I didnt know how great my life was in the US, until I moved here.

I think you are a good parent to give up your life in Egypt for your daughter. But sometimes we have to realize and accept the reality that certain things will not work out the way we hope them to. I admire you for really trying to be here physically for your daughter, for 6 years. I see this as a bad marriage, and it is a bad idea to stay in a bad marriage for your kid. If you cannot be happy and be at your best 100%, you wont be able to give the best to your daughter.

I hope the support from everyone will help you decide in October.
Home is where the heart is.
sometimes you just gotta
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