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Old 18.08.2011, 20:19
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Re: Rude guest

"After every meal my female relatives put all the chairs up on the tables"

But they DO clean the tables afterwards, right?
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Old 18.08.2011, 21:08
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Re: Rude guest

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No no no. Before OCD was invented/characterised as a proper psychological problem, people still suffered from it. Being "house proud" was simply their self-help therapy/excuse.
I'm sure there were cases back then just as there are cases nowadays but more awareness through the media to certain conditions leads to people wrongly self-diagnosing themselves ("oh, my child runs about out of control; he must be ADHD because I saw it on the news!" or "oh, I hate having crumbs on the kitchen floor therefore I must be OCD!!").

It annoys me because it belittles the condition for people who genuinely suffer from it.

The teenage son of a former school-friend of mine has OCD and, for her, it's absolute bloody hell on a daily basis. I am aware there are varying degrees of it from mild to severe but people self-diagnosing because they don't like a mucky kitchen does not help anyone.
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  #63  
Old 18.08.2011, 21:20
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Re: Rude guest

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I'm sure there were cases back then just as there are cases nowadays but more awareness through the media to certain conditions leads to people wrongly self-diagnosing themselves ("oh, my child runs about out of control; he must be ADHD because I saw it on the news!" or "oh, I hate having crumbs on the kitchen floor therefore I must be OCD!!").

It annoys me because it belittles the condition for people who genuinely suffer from it.

The teenage son of a former school-friend of mine has OCD and, for her, it's absolute bloody hell on a daily basis. I am aware there are varying degrees of it from mild to severe but people self-diagnosing because they don't like a mucky kitchen does not help anyone.
And while we are off-topic, OCD isn't just about cleaning, it can be about not letting a thought go, it can manifest in different way, not just cleaning a house.

My biggest issue are my hands, I clean them too often. In Basel, I had my hands bleeding because of the water and the winter weather. I won't go deeper into this topic.
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  #64  
Old 18.08.2011, 21:32
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Re: Rude guest

Sounds like something MY girlfriend would do (damned Swiss Germans, even though she only speaks Italain, despite, like me , having a Swiss German Heimatort)

Tom
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Old 18.08.2011, 21:52
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Re: Rude guest

Oh goody, a complaining about rude guest thread!

I had my first rude guest, about 3 weeks ago, and it really spoilt my weekend - couldn`t get her out of my mind the whole of Sunday, or since then either - now I`m just avoiding her because a confrontation is brewing .......

My friend and I had invited her and her boyfriend over for a bbq. We spent the day preparing special dishes, and I made her favourite pudding.

He set the table with his prized silver cutlery, serviettes in wine glasses, etc etc .... candles, the table looked great and welcoming.

She sat down, picked up the fork and said "This is dirty". Ooops, the silver tips (the very tip part) of the tines were a dark colour - so my friend rushed out to give it a quick polish and returned it.

Lifting the lid of the thick vegetable curry sauce she said "Oh ...... this is curry - my boyfriend doesn`t eat curry, I always make him chillie".

Lifting another lid she exclaimed "Oh yugh ... this is so soft ... I don`t like it soft - I like it crumbly dry".

She kept sending her meat back to the grill .. until my friend just left it there for her to fetch ...... being treated rudely had put him into a bit of a shocked state.

"Where`s the salad dressing?" was the next question, "I can`t eat this without a dressing" .....because I`d put down a plate of washed lettuce. By this time I was about to explode so instead of fetching it I muttered "There isn`t any". Anyway this was a hot meal - the salat was just an extra.

The pudding she enjoyed, saying she would like to take a couple slices home for her daughter and her boyfriend. The malicious side of me said "Sorry, we are having other visitors tomorrow, and the rest is for them", and put it away in the fridge.

With the espressos she asked for a liquer ..... so we brought out the Kirch Liquer .... taking a sip she screwed up her face and exploded into a boring story of how her mother used to force medicine on her as a child and this tasted just like that medicine. "Can I have something else?"

Next was a Jagermeister ....... in glass. "Sorry, withouit the bottle to see what it is I cannot drink that". (Her boyfriend was throwing her discards down his throat and enjoying them along with the Apple Schnapps). The bar area is two rooms away from the winter garden where we were eating so carting all the bottles out was not practical.

During all this she launched into recipes ... and informed me that I stink and how she suffers to have me in her car, because I eat raw garlic, and should eat it cooked, like she does.

I managed to hold my tongue, as she is a large heavily overweight lady whose apartment I try to avoid as it reeks of old sweat, mustiness, and is overheated - so when visiting her I sit out on the balcony.

Now - I am SO tempted to let it all out when next we confront each other ......... still considering it ... and weighing the outcome ...... .. as she is also a member of the extended family.
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  #66  
Old 18.08.2011, 22:06
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Re: Rude guest

Your last line goes some way to explaining why you go out of your way to be hospitable to this obnoxious woman, smoky. We can't choose them ...
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  #67  
Old 18.08.2011, 22:08
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Re: Rude guest

Im not quoting this whole thing but i wanted to tell you that your comment about having other guests and keeping the pudding for them was just genius! Good for you!
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  #68  
Old 19.08.2011, 00:10
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Re: Rude guest

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Your last line goes some way to explaining why you go out of your way to be hospitable to this obnoxious woman, smoky. We can't choose them ...
Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I overlook all those things about our daily lives as I appreciate having a "buddy" with whom to chat (in english!), and we were always very good friends, so this behaviour came as such a shock, and embarassment.

I had the impression we overlooked the faults we each had, for the sake of the friendship - that we had enough in common that we could term ourselves "best friends" - so I really don`t know what her case was.

Would "hormones cause" that type of behaviour? She is in her early 50`s.
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  #69  
Old 19.08.2011, 00:20
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Re: Rude guest

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Im not quoting this whole thing but i wanted to tell you that your comment about having other guests and keeping the pudding for them was just genius! Good for you!
Ja, I thought so too ... And was glad I did..... made me feel powerful, and in command!

I forgot the best part of the story ........ While my friend was re-polishing the silver fork, she picked up the knife, twirling it in the candlelight, and said "You should`nt buy cheap junk, look, the handle is hollow!"

Now .. this silver cutlery was a wedding gift from his parents .... and has the family crest engraved on them, along with his initials ........ and Godzilla the Guest attempts to bend the knife, which she cannot because it is solid, and by this time her fork is returned and she changes the subject.
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Old 19.08.2011, 00:28
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Re: Rude guest

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Ja, I thought so too ... And was glad I did..... made me feel powerful, and in command!

I forgot the best part of the story ........ While my friend was re-polishing the silver fork, she picked up the knife, twirling it in the candlelight, and said "You should`nt buy cheap junk, look, the handle is hollow!"

Now .. this silver cutlery was a wedding gift from his parents .... and has the family crest engraved on them, along with his initials ........ and Godzilla the Guest attempts to bend the knife, which she cannot because it is solid, and by this time her fork is returned and she changes the subject.
that's brilliant. i hope for your sake she is very 'extended' family please just send her the link to your post
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  #71  
Old 19.08.2011, 09:35
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Re: Rude guest

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It's the parallel universe thing again Odile! We just seem to live in a parallel universe....
Not really, I grew up in Switzerland too and most houses were just normal clean, too many kids with too much freedom around for anything else.
Needless to say that in case we forgot something in the house me and friends wouldn't bother to take off our shoes ("I get it really quickly").

Houses and appartments to show off with isn't really the norm in most larger families/houses - or maybe wasn't? I may have become Wollified with all my anectotes and experiences from the 80s.
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Old 19.08.2011, 09:45
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Re: Rude guest

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Ja, I thought so too ... And was glad I did..... made me feel powerful, and in command!

I forgot the best part of the story ........ While my friend was re-polishing the silver fork, she picked up the knife, twirling it in the candlelight, and said "You should`nt buy cheap junk, look, the handle is hollow!"

Now .. this silver cutlery was a wedding gift from his parents .... and has the family crest engraved on them, along with his initials ........ and Godzilla the Guest attempts to bend the knife, which she cannot because it is solid, and by this time her fork is returned and she changes the subject.
I'm surprised how polite you were really. A guest like that and I would have invited to drive her to McDonalds after the second remark.
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Old 19.08.2011, 09:51
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Now - I am SO tempted to let it all out when next we confront each other ......... still considering it ... and weighing the outcome ...... .. as she is also a member of the extended family.
Don't you think there is more than a fair chance she's done the same thing with one or more of the extended family, too, and none of them are brave enough to speak out? You might find they'll back you up if you give her a dressing down about her appalling manners.

It's a bit of a risk but people like that tend to act like that wherever they go so she's probably left a trail of disgruntled hosts just waiting for the slightest encouragement to put the boot in.
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Old 19.08.2011, 10:09
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Re: Rude guest

Well, people are more then welcome to come and clean my (irish-swiss) home anytime.. As a matter of fact, an irish friend of ours hovered our entire home out of boredom at one stage... Anytime again honey...
Brgds
Mike (Not so clean Swiss, LOL)
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Old 19.08.2011, 10:10
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Re: Rude guest

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Would "hormones cause" that type of behaviour? She is in her early 50`s.
Lack of sex?
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Old 19.08.2011, 10:26
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Re: Rude guest

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Most idiotic statement I have ever heard from anyone.
Can I come and work at your company?
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Old 19.08.2011, 10:33
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As a matter of fact, an irish friend of ours hovered our entire home out of boredom at one stage...
That must have been quite a sight...
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  #78  
Old 19.08.2011, 10:38
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Re: Rude guest

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Would "hormones cause" that type of behaviour? She is in her early 50`s.
Is the hormone's name is Bitchiroid? That could explain.... Sadly, they didn't invent meds for that.

(Sorry )

I find it extremely rude behavior and that would have been the end of the friendship to me. Friends are there to support, comfort, help each other. Spend good time, are there in bad time, etc. But you certainly don't need a bully and/or Narcissistic friend.

Time to stop being her scapegoat me think!

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Old 19.08.2011, 11:02
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Re: Rude guest

A few years ago, we'd invited some friends over to dinner, who were going through a tricky situation in their relationship. They proceeded to have a blazing row in our living room, resulting in her sitting on the balcony crying and him going off on one about her father (who he hated) to my wife.
They didn't seem such good friends after that.
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Old 19.08.2011, 21:24
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Re: Rude guest

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A few years ago, we'd invited some friends over to dinner, who were going through a tricky situation in their relationship. They proceeded to have a blazing row in our living room, resulting in her sitting on the balcony crying and him going off on one about her father (who he hated) to my wife.
They didn't seem such good friends after that.
Oh ... that`s the most perfect excuse to just continuing drinking till the whisky bottle is finished ... sit back and enjoy?
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