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  #41  
Old 05.10.2011, 13:20
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

I'd love living in London if I was till young and child-free- but not with little ones. All those I know with young children who work in central London all have horrendous commutes, as well as humongous mortgages.

Totally unfair to say that most English State schools are cr*p btw. There are problems yes - but not everywhere. And I just love the much more imaginative, creative way of teaching in the UK. The A'Level system is actually brilliant for many students. In Switzerland so many never get the opportunity of going on to further Ed, because they have low grades in a couple of subjects- and yet in the UK they might have got the opportunity to shine right up to the top in their chosen and specialist subject (1 reason why we have so many brilliant designers, musicians, etc). I wish we could make a good mixture of both systems - and get to a perfect one?! Perhaps the Scottish system comes close to that.
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  #42  
Old 05.10.2011, 13:27
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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I'd love living in London if I was till young and child-free- but not with little ones. All those I know with young children who work in central London all have horrendous commutes, as well as humongous mortgages.
People should plan better by buying a house after working out the commute - it's changing trains/tubes that's bad, if you can just take one train or tube all the way then it's OK. Plus more people should have rented instead of bought. That's a mentality issue, not a fault of London imo.
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  #43  
Old 05.10.2011, 13:32
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

Absolutely - but the houses with the 'ideal' commute, with a good school or nursery nearby- do command much much higher prices and are near on impossible to find, as they sell or RENT within minutes!
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  #44  
Old 05.10.2011, 14:05
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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DHD, I would encourage you to not act too rashly based upon your current sentiments toward Switzerland and your move. Many people told me that upon moving here from the US that I would likely go through a pattern of emotions that is very common for expats. You may already be familiar with this pattern, but in case you are not, it basically begins with a few months or so of the "honeymoon period" during which you feel like you are on an extended vacation. That is followed by a somewhat downward spiral consisting first of mixed feelings about the move, which can further deteriorate into a period of mild depression and even anger. After a year or so, "integration" is supposed to be attained, complete with a leveling out of one's emotions.

At six months, you are right at the period during which one may become extraordinarily conflicted about his or her move. Rather than acting now, maybe you could tell yourself you will wait a few more months prior to making the decision about staying or leaving? It would hopefully allow you to parse high emotion from the decision-making process and result in a better outcome. In the meantime, there are books you can read and resources such as expat clubs/groups that might be able to help you weather the emotional storm you are currently enduring.

Best of luck to you and yours as you sort it out.


This is very good advice.

Also, beware the repat blues. When these hit, they hit hard. (Been there, done that, the thought of doing it again has me a tad spooked.)

Returning home after an adventure abroad, even after a short-ish one, can be as difficult as moving to another country. You experience the same stages of adjustment ('this is paradise' then 'this is a hellhole', 'then I guess this is just life, best get on with it') as you do when changing countries/cultures - because 'home' has changed and more importantly, you have changed.

The UK may well be the right place for you and your family at this point - I certainly understand what you are going through here - but eyes wide as you think about returning. The best defense against the repat blues is to approach a move back with the same sense of adventure that you brought to the move to CH.

You are fortunate that permits are not an issue, you and your husband can move freely around the EU - and can always come back. That's a nice 'Plan B' to have in your back pocket.

All the best with your decision.
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  #45  
Old 05.10.2011, 20:42
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

Thanks Adrianlondon...Loved the post & agree...I am not even British by birth only by acquired nationality and I'd take my old London commute from Hampstead to Surrey or to Central London, running late Tube and trains, lovely city parks and gardens, reasonably priced food any day over "clean mountain air" polluted by cigarettes and "always on time" public transport which I don't give a fig about - if it's late, take the next one. I also have a fair share of British friends at all income levels who live in and out of the city with families, alone, and love their lives. Not to mention a gallon of expats who based on at least those that I know feel a bit more welcomed in London...
Back to OP - if you are fed up, try to find a job in the UK and try it out. Worst case - you can pack up and come back here. Switzerland will not disappear in the interim...No one on this forum will give you a consensus opinion about what to do...Whatever makes you and your partner happy. You still have lots of time to try things, however crazy they may seem to others or to yourselves...
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  #46  
Old 05.10.2011, 21:02
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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Jobs here obviosuly require German, so that is immediately my short fall. Also, when I say the ice is hard to crack here with the locals....I get addressed as the English woman despite my introductions and my best attempts at the German. When I am walking the dog and there are a few owners together letting their dogs play...they move on and away from me (like I'm contagious) and as for my neighbours...well check out my previous posts. Despite my polite attempts at trying to resolve their noise...they blocked my car in the car park after my complaint about their hoovering antics at 11.30pm
As I recall, you posted that you had a job offer but the commute was too long.
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Hi

I've been offered a job for a well known Global company. It's an English speaking role but not really in the field of my expertise. It's a chance for me to work, have an income etc after being here only a few months. But the role isn't really what I want to do and the commute is 100km per day.

I'm studying German at the moment as I need German to do what I want to do , HR, but am I being a little naive in turning down a job?
People do move for jobs, perhaps that was something to consider given that you don't sound very happy with your neighbours.
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  #47  
Old 06.10.2011, 01:25
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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As I recall, you posted that you had a job offer but the commute was too long.


People do move for jobs, perhaps that was something to consider given that you don't sound very happy with your neighbours.
That is correct, however, moving for that job was not right for me at that time. We'd only moved into our new apartment and where we live is close to my OH family.

Obviously things do change and as we get used to living in this country we can work out where is best to be.
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  #48  
Old 06.10.2011, 06:48
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

britain has 30 entries in the worlds top 200 universities this year. People go to university after going to school. draw your own conclusions as to what that means about british schools in general.

switzerland doesnt fair quite so well.
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  #49  
Old 06.10.2011, 06:54
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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Despite being here only 6 months and loving every minute of it, we are looking at houses in the UK to settle down and hopefully start a family.

My OH is Swiss but would prefer to start a family and settle in UK. I would love to stay here but the cost of housing, lack of job ops and the thick ice to break with the locals is making it hard. I love the scenery and general order of Switzerland and find it hard to go back to the UK and see sonera dirty places.

Looks like CH will become our holiday destination instead......:-(

Anyone else feel like this?

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Old 06.10.2011, 07:46
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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This is very good advice.

Also, beware the repat blues. When these hit, they hit hard. (Been there, done that, the thought of doing it again has me a tad spooked.)

Returning home after an adventure abroad, even after a short-ish one, can be as difficult as moving to another country. You experience the same stages of adjustment ('this is paradise' then 'this is a hellhole', 'then I guess this is just life, best get on with it') as you do when changing countries/cultures - because 'home' has changed and more importantly, you have changed.

The UK may well be the right place for you and your family at this point - I certainly understand what you are going through here - but eyes wide as you think about returning. The best defense against the repat blues is to approach a move back with the same sense of adventure that you brought to the move to CH.

You are fortunate that permits are not an issue, you and your husband can move freely around the EU - and can always come back. That's a nice 'Plan B' to have in your back pocket.

All the best with your decision.
Having moved back once - to the same house I had left 4 years before ( and same company) etc ... if you chose to move back, do so to a fresh place and a fresh challenge ... going back to the old environment is like hooking up with an ex . It's familiar , initially easy - but in the long term frustrating
That is the decision I have taken
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  #51  
Old 06.10.2011, 13:13
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

I guess the good thing is that looking / buying in the UK can take ages and that gives us time to see how CH goes.

For us, we never moved to CH with a permenant plan, more of a ' lets see how it goes'.

I think its still good to have a 'foot' back home even if its not now.
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  #52  
Old 06.10.2011, 13:15
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

Which part of the UK are you planning to move to btw?

We are retired, so it is very different. But I love still having a foot (flat) in the UK, and family and friends to visit. As much as I love being back home (was born and 'bred' here) after spending my adult life in the UK, I just have to go back regularly to see everybody, some shopping, gardens, castles, cute towns, a good walk in rolling hills, oh and a good curry, etc. Whatever happens, I'll always keep 1 foot in each.
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Old 06.10.2011, 13:35
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

Hertfordshire area.
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Old 06.10.2011, 13:42
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

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Hertfordshire area.
If only you'd said!

That place is Paradise on Earth...
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Old 06.10.2011, 18:33
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Old 06.10.2011, 18:37
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Re: Love CH but looking to buy a house in the UK

Well they say home is where the herts is ...

If you feel it is best, then do it. But as Meloncollie says, be prepared for feeling like an expat back home. A French friend of mine in the UK just never felt 'right' in the UK and dreamt of going back to France. They did eventually, and she actually hated it, and the kids hated French school. They moved twice in France, thinking it was the location that was wrong- but they were back in UK 2 years later - and very happy, having got it out of her system. Life's funny. But I do wish you all the very best- keep in touch and tell us how you get on.
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