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  #21  
Old 09.10.2011, 19:04
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Re: Making friends

I would say the latter...is the Internet a valid vehicle for creating new ties?

Oh, by the way, I tried out an interesting website for the first time last week which tries to take the "virtual" out of Internet relationships...

www.meetup.com

I was pleasantly surprised.
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  #22  
Old 09.10.2011, 19:09
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Re: Making friends

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What exactly is the subject ?

- the definition of a true friend ?
or
- are friends you make online (thus virtually) friends ?
In other words, is the internet a valid vehicle for creating genuine ties ?

Sorry, I'd not meant to turn it into a discussion of definition of "real" friend, more to point out the difference between how individuals make friends in the first place. To me, a real friend is someone I can make a real connection with, in face or not, whether it lasts for two years or ten (or more).
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  #23  
Old 09.10.2011, 19:11
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Re: Making friends

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I would say the latter...is the Internet a valid vehicle for creating new ties?
Well, that is how I met my wife (and several previous girlfriends).

Also, several good friends (people that have stayed at my home on one or more occasion, and/or vice versa, though these are generally people who do NOT live in CH).

Tom
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  #24  
Old 09.10.2011, 20:05
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Re: Making friends

Guess I'm feeling kinda nostalgic today. I hunted down and found an old college buddy on the web tonight that I haven't seen or spoken to in at least 20 years (he lives in Berkeley, California now, running a small construction business). It was like picking up on a conversation from yesterday.
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Old 09.10.2011, 21:47
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Re: Making friends

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Guess I'm feeling kinda nostalgic today. I hunted down and found an old college buddy on the web tonight that I haven't seen or spoken to in at least 20 years (he lives in Berkeley, California now, running a small construction business). It was like picking up on a conversation from yesterday.
That's really cool...I felt the same way when I friend of mine I have known for 21 years, a total technophobe, finally got himself an email account, and we actually communicated more than what it takes for a regular snail mail to deliver letters and carepacks.

I think technology is a vehicle for whatever you are after. If you are after flakiness, it will give you instant shiny flakiness and super easy since you can idealize, dream and pretend.

But if you are after real bond, then it does not matter if you make that one phonecall a month, or send an SMS a day, or scribble some stuff on somebody's FB wall..(ok, I don't like FB, so not that one , it just makes me feel that everyone there thinks they are sought after celebs, plus the stalkish nature and privacy issue is uncanny).

Loads of folks only use technology just as a means of logistics of meet ups, not because it is supposed to replace good ol' face to face time.
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Last edited by MusicChick; 09.10.2011 at 22:26.
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  #26  
Old 10.10.2011, 09:22
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Re: Making friends

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If my friends show up at my door, I won't freak out. I'll be freaking excited they didn't forget about me....
Are you deaf then or what? I've been ringing the doorbell for a few hours now and starting to think that this may be personal.....
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  #27  
Old 10.10.2011, 10:09
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Re: Making friends

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Are you deaf then or what? I've been ringing the doorbell for a few hours now and starting to think that this may be personal.....
If I see a good looking man like you at my door, I will open it pretty fast!

But you have to come when hubby is at work!

(I am joking Honey! I promise! )
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  #28  
Old 10.10.2011, 10:16
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Re: Making friends

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Guess I'm feeling kinda nostalgic today. I hunted down and found an old college buddy on the web tonight that I haven't seen or spoken to in at least 20 years (he lives in Berkeley, California now, running a small construction business). It was like picking up on a conversation from yesterday.
This is my definition of a true friend, someone who you may or may not see often but when you do it is like you saw them yesterday, whilst you may talk about what has passed in the interim it is not the reason you are seeing (or talking to) them today. The "value" it adds to each others life just by the connection.
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  #29  
Old 10.10.2011, 12:10
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Re: Making friends

internet is evil but your posts are of great value
no matter how contradicting my statement is
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  #30  
Old 11.10.2011, 11:26
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Re: Making friends

To me, friends are like ice cream...as long as things are cool everything sticks together. As soon as matters heat up, everything starts to melt.
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Old 11.10.2011, 11:33
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Re: Making friends

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To me, friends are like ice cream...as long as things are cool everything sticks together. As soon as matters heat up, everything starts to melt.
but isn't it when things heat up that you discover who your true friends are?
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  #32  
Old 11.10.2011, 11:59
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Re: Making friends

As the saying goes, "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
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  #33  
Old 12.10.2011, 10:40
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Re: Making friends

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...is the Internet a valid vehicle for creating new ties?
Definitely. The lady I met online was the perfect match. Never would have found her in the local lonely hearts club.

Or any other lonely hearts club for that matter as we both avoid those places like the plague......

Both know what the other is looking for on online dating sites.

OK - others avoid dating sites like the plague.
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  #34  
Old 12.10.2011, 10:47
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Re: Making friends

I think our current level of technology is a Catch-22 as far as true friendships are concerned. Compared to 20 years ago, most of us spend much more of our free time utilizing the internet to do many things that used to require us to leave our homes and go out. That reduces our face-to-face contact with others, thus we have fewer opportunities to actually meet people who might become good friends. EF allows us to "meet" others on a limited basis, but the bonds formed online between members are clearly significantly strengthened by the various face-to-face meet ups.

The flip side of that coin, though, is the ability to stay in contact with friends around the world thanks to email, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, etc. Once a true friend is found and that relationship nurtured, it is much easier to maintain the contact that fuels that friendship by utilizing technology, and that in turn allows friends who have not seen each other in a long time to easily come together, laugh, and talk like they had only parted last week!

The internet sure beats long-distance phone calls with two-hour windows due to time zone differences and penning hand-written letters. You just can't let its use contribute to isolation.
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  #35  
Old 12.10.2011, 10:49
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Re: Making friends

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but isn't it when things heat up that you discover who your true friends are?
Generally speaking, I received most help from random strangers or fairly new aquaintances....in the long run, I've been let down most of the times.
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Old 12.10.2011, 10:53
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Re: Making friends

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The internet sure beats long-distance phone calls with two-hour windows due to time zone differences and penning hand-written letters. You just can't let its use contribute to isolation.
Agree - it's OK to get to know people you'd otherwise never meet. Nothing can replace real-world eye-to-eye contact or a real-life conversation.
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  #37  
Old 12.10.2011, 11:08
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Re: Making friends

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Agree - it's OK to get to know people you'd otherwise never meet. Nothing can replace real-world eye-to-eye contact or a real-life conversation.
I most definitely agree! So much is lost in typing posts, emails, texts, etc., even when they are sent to those closest to you. A yellow smiley just cannot replace seeing the smile on the face of the person with whom you are talking, and no smiley comes remotely close to a touch on the shoulder, arm, or a hug. Playful banter on this forum, IMO, most often shows those members who have met in person, since it would take so much posting within topical constraints to feel the comfort level with a person needed to joke around with him/her. The comfort level that might take months to establish on the forum only might be obtained by a 20 minute face-to-face talk at a meet-up!

(Note to self - must make time to attend one of these meet-ups soon as I am speaking of something with which I currently have no experience.)
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