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Old 10.10.2011, 18:47
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Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

It was an average overcast October day in Basel and all seemed quiet as usual. My boyfriend and I were taking a walk down the River Rhine. In the distance shuffling towards us, we saw a very, very old little lady leaning heavily on a walker to assist her from toppling over completely. Her pace was slow but steady, but definitely slower than the proverbial tortoise.
As we neared we noted that she came to a halt and took a moment to appreciate her surroundings as some joggers passed.
I know we are all expecting a mugger to jump out the bushes now – but no, no, no. This story is different!
Due to what can only be blamed on the sad effects on aged vision she must have missed noticing us coming up from the front.
Much to our horror and shock, having left the wilds of Africa for a safer land only recently we had to witness our first Swiss crime.
She reached over into one of the walker’s secret compartments and took out ­- not one, but two, small bags of what could only have been HOUSEHOLD trash! And yes, ladies and gentlemen, she did! She did! She placed it carefully (and with significant effort) into a PUBLIC bin!
We, aghast of course at this lowly of lowliest crimes, could only stare at each other.
And yes, we took the high road and continued walking past her as if we had not seen anything. Coming from Africa – that’s what you do – you never know if the rest of the gang is in the bushes!
As she moved to turn around (again with significant effort) she noticed us and oh my word – what a look of fear, horror and terror!
I decided to hold back on my fluent swiss german and pave my way into heaven by continuing to pretend we hadn’t noticed.
On reflection – I wonder if this 90 year old great-granny hobbled off home and thought to herself – I really am getting too old for the life of crime?
I went home and wondered – do you think she was an Auslander many many years (or maybe even generations) ago?
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Old 10.10.2011, 18:53
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

Maybe she was dumping drugs for a later pick up by the consumer. Report her!
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Old 10.10.2011, 19:15
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

I sometimes have difficulty carrying a particularly heavy 'Züri Sack'.

Perhaps the poor lady can’t dispose of her rubbish in a legal way because it is simply too hard for her.
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Old 10.10.2011, 19:18
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

I'm sure that if she was Swiss, then she must have had a permit to do that.
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Old 10.10.2011, 19:50
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

Most old ladies around my way appear to dispose of copious amounts of dog shit (or maybe their own, who knows) in little, made for the purpose bags which they put into the road by the kerb.

So basically you end up with loads of burst bags, piles of shit, and dirty parked cars everywhere.

I'd rather they threw their stuff in the communal bins!
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Old 10.10.2011, 19:52
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

When funds are low, you do whatever you can. Plus it gave her a goal to get out and about.
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:21
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

I would have loved to have seen that
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:31
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

Just as well you didn't say anything. She would have given you so much verbal abuse about gowd knows what. It would have made you think you had done something wrong, sending you on a guilt trip that would see you picking up her trash taking it home and putting it in your Basel bag.
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:35
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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On reflection – I wonder if this 90 year old great-granny hobbled off home and thought to herself – I really am getting too old for the life of crime?
Go easy on her and look the other way, the 2 francs she saves by doing that might pay for her next meal. You'd be surprised just how many elderly Swiss are living on the brink here. Many of these people in that age bracket did not have a retirement nest egg (ie; Pensionkasse), it's only been since the mid 80's that it's required by law for everyone over the age of 25. They are a proud people who would never admit to their financial difficulties, hence her shocked expression when caught in the act of bending the garbage laws to save a couple of francs.
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:36
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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It was an average overcast October day in Basel and all seemed quiet as usual. My boyfriend and I were taking a walk down the River Rhine. In the distance shuffling towards us, we saw a very, very old little lady leaning heavily on a walker to assist her from toppling over completely.
The two bags of trash must have been weighing her down.
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:45
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

How do you know she was Swiss?
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:49
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

that poor rubbish bin. it will never be the same.
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:53
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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How do you know she was Swiss?
probably one of those troublesome auslanders who come in by train from abroad to commit crimes!!!
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Old 11.10.2011, 15:59
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

being from the U.S. of A. I would have pushed her against the nearest wall and frisked her , then called the CIA ( or Assasin ) for an extraordinary rendition ...

she may have looked like an old lady but those al Queda types are devious. You can't be too careful these days.
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Old 11.10.2011, 16:05
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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being from the U.S. of A. I would have pushed her against the nearest wall and frisked her , then called the CIA ( or Assasin ) for an extraordinary rendition ...
You can't waterboard these elderly types, the walking frame will rust and might short circuit when connected to the car battery. Thanks for the reference though bud. We could try the next best thing to a rendition flight however and book an easyJet flight without priority boarding.
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Old 11.10.2011, 16:05
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

It's not just the CHF2 she saved. She probably could not fill up her legal rubbish bag fast enough before it started to stink up her kitchen. You know - sardine cans and meat wrappers and such.

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Old 11.10.2011, 16:09
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

Why doesn't she just use her balcony like normal people?
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Old 11.10.2011, 16:17
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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. We could try the next best thing to a rendition flight however and book an easyJet flight without priority boarding.
no , no , no !! I'm sorry but we have to draw a line and start respecting the Geneva conventions somewhere... that is just a step too far !!
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Old 11.10.2011, 16:35
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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It was an average overcast October day in Basel and all seemed quiet as usual.
That's a rather lovely story and nicely written.
Could you make up something about the Swiss drinking habits please? With a catching title of course!
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Old 11.10.2011, 16:53
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Re: Witnessed a Swiss criminal in action

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no , no , no !! I'm sorry but we have to draw a line and start respecting the Geneva conventions somewhere... that is just a step too far !!
What's a "Geneva Convention?" Is that where a bunch of gay doctors get together and play golf?
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