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  #21  
Old 29.11.2011, 20:54
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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What cataclysm in society was going to happen in that this woman was sitting there, by the bank, watching that I didn't go to the bank and, instead, went to the coop quickie for three whole minutes? Seriously? I figure, parking infractions are what small town cops were made for. I figured that, if the cops wanted to bust me, well, then, I'd take my chances...afterall, ISN'T THAT WHAT COPS ARE FOR? I don't need some shrieking crazy lady who, upon knowing I speak only hochdeutsch, to go even further into her rant, eyes bulging, etc. for a petty parking infraction. (Littering is worth a bit of mention to the infringers but, really, I just pick up the garbage and move along as it's less hassle).

This is why me and CH will never get on long term as I just don't see the need to get my pants in a bunch and nearly strike someone over something so...trivial. I mean, if I would have run someone over with my car, sure, I could have understood the reaction but, otherwise...no, just not getting it.
So move to Ticino!

Tom
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  #22  
Old 29.11.2011, 20:56
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

I simply ignore them.
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  #23  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:06
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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So move to Ticino!
Are folks like the aforementioned harpie really so unknown there?
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Old 29.11.2011, 21:14
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

Ok, ok - but are you really sure people like her can't be found in NH, or VA or NJoysey? Really?

Rise, rise ...
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  #25  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:21
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

I once had an old woman tell me off for shouting at my son, when he was about to run off across a road in a tantrum ... was I s'posed to just watch him run across a road which was frequently used by buses and people who only drove from home to the station and back to pick up or drop off loved ones?

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We now need to have complete evidence including plaster tyre tracks, fingerprints, DNA, and at least 27 8x10 colour glossy pictures including the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the aerial photography.

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You forgot the VW micro-bus, and the seeing-eye-dog!

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And the implements of destruction!
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  #26  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:24
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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<foreigner's rant snipped>
Clearly I've been here too long, as all I could think was: parking in a bank space, during banking hours, when you are not a customer... disgusting
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Old 29.11.2011, 21:34
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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Ok, ok - but are you really sure people like her can't be found in NH, or VA or NJoysey? Really?

Rise, rise ...
In Boston? No. Parking is something of an art there and the mere fabric of society won't be torn asunder if you do a quickie park job by a packie. I'm a magnet for freaks on any continent but CH is very unique in the number of folks I've experienced in a very short amount of time who seem compelled to police the most insignificant infractions even though it doesn't seem to carry through to serious situations where the police should be called. I figure if I were bleeding to death in front of the coop, the lady would have walked on.
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  #28  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:37
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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I once had an old woman tell me off for shouting at my son, when he was about to run off across a road in a tantrum ... was I s'posed to just watch him run across a road which was frequently used by buses and people who only drove from home to the station and back to pick up or drop off loved ones?
I once had a similar experience where I asked the old woman if she'd like to take my daughter for a day as I was out of patience and, since she seemed to be in possession of an abundance thereof, maybe she could do the child a great service by taking her in and catering to her every whim and need and, yes, keeping her from running into traffic. She was onto me rather quickly, smiled, and bid me a good day...sadly.
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Old 29.11.2011, 21:39
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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Clearly I've been here too long, as all I could think was: parking in a bank space, during banking hours, when you are not a customer... disgusting
O. M. G. ! I did smile and wave at the bank guard who was locking up when I parked...does that help?
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  #30  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:50
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

This words work wonders when I have a similar situation "Lass mich in Ruhe"
translation (leave me alone)
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  #31  
Old 29.11.2011, 21:58
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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Ok, ok - but are you really sure people like her can't be found in NH, or VA or NJoysey? Really?

Rise, rise ...
No. Really.


Just say "thank you. I'll remember that for next time" and go about your business. You are letting this take too much for your energy.
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  #32  
Old 29.11.2011, 22:04
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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No. Really.


Just say "thank you. I'll remember that for next time" and go about your business. You are letting this take too much for your energy.
I agree...still, for someone who isn't all that sociable to begin with, it's a big discouragement to leave the house. It's my frustration, really, as I've lived all over the continent (and elsewhere) and have never had the abject kind of paranoia I have now where I worry about getting yelled at for the tiniest thing. I'm not a small or otherwise easily intimidated person but.....this place does tend to wear you down if you aren't a 100% rule abiding person. I'm not. I like taking risks on occasion, etc. I think it's just the season....dark, gloomy, not enough rum.
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  #33  
Old 29.11.2011, 22:15
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

Cheer up, poptart, and don't let the wackos intimidate you (Swiss or otherwise). I haven't had any such experience - luckily - but it might be because I always live in my "own little world" and I seem to have a brain filter for Swiss German, so if someone by chance told me off on the street, chances are I didn't even notice

Now yelling...I would have done the "I don't understand you" thing, and, if repeated in English, I would have said plain and simple: the bank is closing anyway, plus it's none of your business. Smile. Goodbye. Done. A smile works wonders sometimes: use a combination of kindness and indifference to respond to mean-ness.

What really irks me/freaks me out are people touching me to get my attention - grabbing my arm, etc. It hasn't happened to me in CH, but to a friend of mine. She handled it wonderfully, just stopping, listening, and calmly brushing off the busybody, but my instinctive reaction would have been to very defensively move sideways and grab back (I have to blame years of martial arts training for this), and it could get unpleasant.
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  #34  
Old 29.11.2011, 22:27
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

Page 2 and no LOLcats? LOLcats make everything better.
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  #35  
Old 29.11.2011, 23:11
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?



I don't know what the fuss is about your parking. Looks fine to me...
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  #36  
Old 29.11.2011, 23:28
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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I agree...still, for someone who isn't all that sociable to begin with, it's a big discouragement to leave the house. It's my frustration, really, as I've lived all over the continent (and elsewhere) and have never had the abject kind of paranoia I have now where I worry about getting yelled at for the tiniest thing. I'm not a small or otherwise easily intimidated person but.....this place does tend to wear you down if you aren't a 100% rule abiding person. I'm not. I like taking risks on occasion, etc. I think it's just the season....dark, gloomy, not enough rum.
I'm with you. Total misanthrope. But you are now armed with your reply at the ready. Rattle it off and move on. Somehow they will stop bothering you.

I don't agree with you on the second half though. I'm not "100% rule abiding" and I don't really "fit in". So, I just don't waste my time worrying if random person on the street is upset at me over something petty. (You know within reason. I'm not beating people or stealing candy from babies, IYKWIM.) What you describe would be one of those situations where I'd say "thanks" & keep walking. I've not yet had anyone key my car or call the police.

But it sounds like you're getting very well integrated if your risk taking has now come down to parking in the bank parking space 3 minutes before closing. LOL
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Old 30.11.2011, 00:20
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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I figure the expression 'shit rolls downhill' and that, judging by the way people drive, shop and otherwise behave around Zurich, that folks are looking for ways to vent their multitude of anger in ways that they aren't going to be challenged...passing the buck as it were.
I think you've hit the nail on the head here - at least that's what I see round these parts.

There is so much anger and resentment simmering just below the surface - folks I see seem to be in a constant state of stress. (Why is a whole 'nuther question...) All that negative emotion is looking for an outlet - and you just happened to provide it. Consider your parking 'offense' to be your good deed for the day, as it gave the busybody a chance to vent.

Disproportional response on her part, of course - but I'd wager that she was really raging against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

( I'll go out on a limb and guess that folks are different in Romandie and Ticino )

The trick is learning not to get sucked into this dynamic, for that way madness lies. T'aint easy, I know - but I'm now trying to just let it go in one ear and out the other, put on a vapid smile, and say:

'Ich wünsche Ihnen einen schönen Tag, Madame.'

And walk away.

---

As my wise old grandmother used to say: illegitimi non carborundum.
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  #38  
Old 30.11.2011, 08:33
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

I hear ya! I have been scolded for my kids not wearing hats, not wearing socks, having a runny nose (probably because they weren't wearing hats or socks, right?), hanging my purse from my grocery cart, allowing my child to go ahead of me on an escalator, talking to someone in a doorway, leaving my purse in my stroller under a blanket and a bag of groceries (the person had to do some major digging just to find it, to take out my wallet, locate a picture ID, and find me 20 feet away at the slides so she could return it to me, and scold me by name), catching someone else's 2-year-old who was hanging and about to fall ten feet from a rope climb, and countless other things that I didn't understand.

I always just say, "Okay. Thanks" and move on.
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Old 30.11.2011, 08:41
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

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I hear ya! I have been scolded for my kids not wearing hats, not wearing socks, having a runny nose (probably because they weren't wearing hats or socks, right?), hanging my purse from my grocery cart, allowing my child to go ahead of me on an escalator, talking to someone in a doorway, leaving my purse in my stroller under a blanket and a bag of groceries (the person had to do some major digging just to find it, to take out my wallet, locate a picture ID, and find me 20 feet away at the slides so she could return it to me, and scold me by name), catching someone else's 2-year-old who was hanging and about to fall ten feet from a rope climb, and countless other things that I didn't understand.

I always just say, "Okay. Thanks" and move on.
To be fair, some of those "scoldings" sound a bit like friendly advice to me. I have warned a couple of people about their purse hanging out of their bag or the zip of their rucksack gaping open and they usually respond with a bit of gratitude.

Think I'll keep my mouth shut in future.
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Old 30.11.2011, 09:46
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Re: How are you supposed to respond to busybodies?

Really, these people are so tiring. I think the only way to deal with them is to respond without being rude, and make them feel like their actions did not bring anything. This morning I also had the pleasure of dealing with one again.

Next to my apartment block is a huge pedestrian square, where it is forbidden to ride bikes, rollerskates etc.

Trying not to upset any neighbours, I crossed the square, walking with my bike right beside me so that I can jump on it as soon as I reach the main road. Halfway down the square, an elderly lady approaches me and tells me that I am not allowed to ride a bike there.

I looked at my bike, then at her and responded: does it look like I am RIDING my bike here? I think she felt embarassed and turned away without saying anything.
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