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Old 03.12.2011, 16:23
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Racist remarks at school

My kid (4th grade) "enjoys" being addressed with racist remarks from few other kids at the local school. What is the best strategy to deal with it? Ignore?
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Old 03.12.2011, 16:29
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Re: Racist remarks at school

Mention it to the teacher? I don't think it's something that should be ignored but it depends how bad it is. If it seems threatening and perhaps the thin end of a bullying event I would take it further. Nipping it in the bud might be the most sensible strategy rather than wait until it becomes some huge issue where everyone gets dragged into it and your son is cringing into his school bag.

I worry about these kids whose parents go in all guns blazing and taking the issue to every authority they can think of. I think I would have been mortified if my parents had made a massive spectacle of something so sensitive as bullying.

It's a delicate balance of managing the situation and bringing it to a conclusion and turning it into a gossip-fest for the other kids.
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Old 03.12.2011, 18:07
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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My kid (4th grade) "enjoys" being addressed with racist remarks from few other kids at the local school. What is the best strategy to deal with it? Ignore?
Your kid should try hard to either ignore it or to take it with humour, but YOU should have an talk with the teacher, NOT demanding whatever but explore ways to deal with the problem, as a problem it may well be. While you at the other hand should comfort your kid, and behave as if all this was just a minor nuisance.
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Old 03.12.2011, 18:17
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Re: Racist remarks at school

What are the "racist remarks"?
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Old 03.12.2011, 18:34
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Re: Racist remarks at school

I feel your pain, we had a similar experience recently with our sone but thankfully some other parents and teachers picked up on it straight away and nipped it in the bud. I hope you manage to get it resolved quickly and without too much hassel or unwanted attention
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Old 03.12.2011, 18:34
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Re: Racist remarks at school

What colour / race is your kids?

Your kids actually enjoys it??
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Old 03.12.2011, 20:47
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Thank you for the advices. I've already told my child to try to ignore this. I'll talk to the teacher if it keeps happening to see what could be done to limit this in the future. The kid is caucasian but that of no help :-)
My kid speaks German quite well so before some kids were saying "Adolf Hitler" to him and he found it both irritating and amusing, but recently they've learned more and found out a more effective way to insult him.

He's no exception here, though. A bus driver who gets the children to the school told me a black girl is ostracized, sits always aside and is called names in the bus by other kids.
So, compared to this girl, my kid has it relatively easy here - so far.
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Old 03.12.2011, 20:55
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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Thank you for the advices. I've already told my child to try to ignore this. I'll talk to the teacher if it keeps happening to see what could be done to limit this in the future. The kid is caucasian but that of no help :-)
My kid speaks German quite well so before some kids were saying "Adolf Hitler" to him and he found it both irritating and amusing, but recently they've learned more and found out a more effective way to insult him.

He's no exception here, though. A bus driver who gets the children to the school told me a black girl is ostracized, sits always aside and is called names in the bus by other kids.
So, compared to this girl, my kid has it relatively easy here - so far.
This is sad because they must learn it somewhere...
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Old 03.12.2011, 21:06
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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My kid speaks German quite well so before some kids were saying "Adolf Hitler" to him and he found it both irritating and amusing
So he's Austrian?

Or does he have a moustache?

There's some info missing here

Tom
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Old 03.12.2011, 21:43
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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This is sad because they must learn it somewhere...
Absolutely.
There are also children who do not have exposure to this behaviour at home but copy their friends in order to be accepted or liked.
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Old 03.12.2011, 22:09
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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Thank you for the advices. I've already told my child to try to ignore this. I'll talk to the teacher if it keeps happening to see what could be done to limit this in the future. The kid is caucasian but that of no help :-)
My kid speaks German quite well so before some kids were saying "Adolf Hitler" to him and he found it both irritating and amusing, but recently they've learned more and found out a more effective way to insult him.

He's no exception here, though. A bus driver who gets the children to the school told me a black girl is ostracized, sits always aside and is called names in the bus by other kids.
So, compared to this girl, my kid has it relatively easy here - so far.
And did he told you ,what he is doing about it?
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Old 03.12.2011, 23:52
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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So he's Austrian?

Or does he have a moustache?

There's some info missing here

Tom
Probably Polish who came to Switzerland from Germany or Austria

Sorry to hear that yacek. Kids can be cruel. I hope it will get better.
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Old 04.12.2011, 00:03
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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Thank you for the advices. I've already told my child to try to ignore this. I'll talk to the teacher if it keeps happening to see what could be done to limit this in the future. The kid is caucasian but that of no help :-)
My kid speaks German quite well so before some kids were saying "Adolf Hitler" to him and he found it both irritating and amusing, but recently they've learned more and found out a more effective way to insult him.

He's no exception here, though. A bus driver who gets the children to the school told me a black girl is ostracized, sits always aside and is called names in the bus by other kids.
So, compared to this girl, my kid has it relatively easy here - so far.
To give you an example. It was in the 6th primary class. Our good friend Pierre, son of a "mildly" Jewish couple, one evening got heavily insulted by a group from our class. One boy managed to retreat back towards school, knowing that Mrs Eickhoff would approach by the minute (enroute to the train-station). Mrs Eickhoff terminated the thing but did not say much. We learnt the next morning that she had spent much of the night with the parents of Pierre preparing a very special 4 hours morning for our class. Which contained A) a short-cut history of WW-II, B) a short-cut history of the holocaust, and C) a slides show of the worst photos of war-bombed Germany I have ever seen, and the worst photos from the concentration camp actually available (then and still). Mr+Mrs H. agreed with Mrs Eickhoff that the problem could NOT be tackled by punishable actions but had to be tackled by giving REAL information. She never revealed the names of the culprits, and they never got any punishment, and the witness had to promise NEVER to reveal the names. Mrs Eickhoff made it plainly clear that we here were facing a rather general and rather social problem, which had to be looked into in a serious way.

That the same Mrs Eickhoff three months later, after the assassination of John F. Kennedy used the 3 hours on the Saturday-morning after to give us a short-history of the USA, a short compilation of the life of JFK, and a short compilation about USA+CH constitutions and the latest news from the USA may give you an idea about this unforgettable personality (I mean Mrs Eickhoff and NOT J.F.K. !)
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Old 04.12.2011, 00:16
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Re: Racist remarks at school

Hi Yacek,
Going from close experiences, I would certainly advise that your son not be advised to ignore any type of racist remark made directly against him. The aggressors will not stop unless they are taught a lesson. This is either by direct (and careful) intervention from you as parent, by speaking to a teacher. I say careful intervention, so as not to cause too much fuss in the school, as someone has already pointed out.
Aggressors or bullies (commonly termed as di..heads) need to be physically punished by your son at some point in time, as unfortunately, they tend to be cowards who need to be hit in oredr to understand that enough is enough.
I told my son from early on to hit those who verbally abuse him. It saves a lot of pain in the future which can change someone's life heavily.
However, there are a number of points to consider using this tactic and as a parent, you should get feedback from son and teacher as to how your son is reacting with other children at school etc.
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Old 04.12.2011, 02:01
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Re: Racist remarks at school

Kids will pick on anyone that is "different", race, illness, glasses, whatever. It's how you deal with it that matters.

I was the only different kid in a small welsh village school. I am Jewish and of middle eastern origin so quite dark. I had the lot thrown at me, but I hid from it and was very shy at school and as I "ignored " it, it got worse. Never ever ignore it.

Now my daughter who is nearly 5, is different. Although she is blonde and blue eyed in her ecole maternelle in Alsace, she has Alopecia, she went from lovely locks of curly blonde hair last year to complete hairloss this year. So, we get the stares, points and she gets name calling at school. One girl in particular. However, I am telling her to deal with it. She now stands up to this little cow at school, the girl calls her a boy, as she knows this upsets her and she knows she is a girl, but my daughter calls her a frog or a pig back, my daughter laughs now when she comes out of school. I do not want her to become a victim. The school don't know we are "jews" but there we go, I will leave that one until her hair grows back or she will become the bald jewish kid.
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Old 04.12.2011, 02:21
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Re: Racist remarks at school

Wolli what an incredible teacher you had.

Fidgety your post made me sad but the last sentence made me smile. Little midgets can be really cruel. My kid (the one in my avatar) gets lot of stick any everyone calls him the pizza boy
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Old 04.12.2011, 03:02
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Re: Racist remarks at school

If it's not your race, it's your clothes, your hair, your weight... Kids are idiot. I think the non-victim stance described above is best. My father came to threaten the kids at school but it only made things worse.
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Old 04.12.2011, 04:22
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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If it's not your race, it's your clothes, your hair, your weight... Kids are idiot. I think the non-victim stance described above is best. My father came to threaten the kids at school but it only made things worse.
We don't challenge every situation. The stares and points we ignore mostly, but people who wish to make comments directly or threaten her in some way must be dealt with.
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Old 04.12.2011, 06:24
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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If it's not your race, it's your clothes, your hair, your weight... Kids are idiot.
Sorry Kittster but I have ask? It's not just kids you know! How often do we ostrasize people, we all do it all the time. There's the Boss, he never gets invited out on many of those friday nights 'for drinks'. There's that aunty, who allways knitted us bad sweaters, the work colleuge that's just not fast enough, etc, etc, etc...
Sometimes we can't even help ourselves. It's usually easier to mob than to defend the mobbed!
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Old 04.12.2011, 08:37
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Re: Racist remarks at school

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We don't challenge every situation. The stares and points we ignore mostly, but people who wish to make comments directly or threaten her in some way must be dealt with.
Exactly. I would also want to point out that it is much worse and needs serious approach when most of the kids in a class pick on mostly one single child. That is group dynamics which could turn really nasty.
When I was in primary school we had a boy wearing those really thick and round eye glasses (it was not his fault the parents were oblivious of the fact that it could provoke some kids) and had a mild peasant-like accent when he spoke, otherwise a nice boy and minding his own business, trying to ignore them at first. Most of the boys and even some girls in my class made cruel remarks about him, his talking, his eye glasses, his inability to sports, his clothes, they picked on everything they could...it was very hard for me to endure and I had arguments with them many times and told them to back off.
At some point the hitting started because some felt they..could, and then it was a serious problem and quite a scandal in my class, after that the bullying ceased but it was a horrible experience even not to be part of and just to see it happening, it tought me a lot.
Group dynamics is something to be aware and concerned of, not the occasional nasty remarks almost each of us got every now and then.

Last edited by greenmount; 04.12.2011 at 08:57.
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