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  #41  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:23
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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Exactly!

If she needed particular help, she would pine for it with eye contact.

Unfortunately, many people are just nosey gits and want to know why she is crying to get the goss. They will hide behind a blanket of 'I care' but secretly, perhaps even without realizing, they're being nosey.

Is it a crime to be upset and show emotion in public? Not implying you were getting at that mind
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That's just so full of siht.

Asking someone if they are OK is not being nosey.

The OP had a bad experience that put her off, but tbh if you feel you should do something - even if just asking - then go ahead.

The problem is that the world is full of people who just blank it all out. How often have there been threads about not even talking to neighbours? A bit more communication in the world probably wouldn't hurt, and a simple starting point could be asking someone in distress if you can help.
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Speaking from experience it may well have been nothing. I remember breaking down in tears in M&S Food because some poor lady asked me how old my newborn was and i was too exhausted to remember.

Don't always assume something dreadful might be wrong, and so for that reason don't be put off just going over and asking if she is alright. Mums with babies are often teary, sometimes just through sheer exhaustion. And knowing that someone cares, if only a stranger, can be strangely comforting.
No, no, I didn't assume anything. I was just saying to myself all the time: "Should I ask or better not...". Look how difficult it is sometimes to communicate here on EF where people do not see each other and in most cases do not even know each other. In real life situation, it is much more difficult but as summerrain mentioned "we need the courage to act". And perhaps that is all about it... It doesn't matter what the answer will be... It matters that you did something...
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  #42  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:25
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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If this wasn't Switzerland, I'd say form an orderly queue to slap her, Airplane style.

But here it'd just turn into a brawl, and nobody wants that.

Best stick to the local solution and stare at her.
Mirfield...so cynical...alas mostly true!
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  #43  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:26
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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What you think the child is going to pull out an uzie or something. Attitudes like this is the only thing that shits me about being here. No sense of community. People just looking out for themselves and at the same time displaying a complete disregard for those around them. I hope you find yourself in need of an extended hand some time. Might help you change your tune....
Not sure a child could muster the strength to carry an uzi, to be honest.

I would only consult if there was evident physcial pain on mother or baby, or if they were seemingly in danger due to her distress.

Not clear that either was apparent, and it was an upset woman carrying her child. WOW stop the world, gather goverment, rally the community.

She may have found out some dreadful news, she may have had a barney with the dad who is showing no interest in supporting her, the list is endless.

I play my own tune, and I always enjoy the sound.

I respect privacy. You call it "disregard for those around them". Privacy, is not something afforded often in this community of Switzerland.
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Last edited by JBZ86; 23.02.2012 at 13:35. Reason: finish sentence
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  #44  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:36
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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Yesterday, when I was coming back home, suddenly I heard somebody crying at the tram. I just glanced quickly and saw a woman carrying a small baby. A few other people also noticed her. I just wonder: "What should we do in such a situation? Ask if everything is OK or better not to interfere?"
You know what - my first impulse is to say sure, ask the woman if she's O.K. or does she need any help? Unfortunately, sometimes it could be just a trick and as soon as you do what common sense dictates, you could be distracted by a heart-breaking long and incoherent conversation while her "boyfriend" steals your wallet or worse.
I am not saying it is always the case..but definitely I wouldn't criticize you didn't do the right thing.
First I would have taken a deep look at her..
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  #45  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:44
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

It's sad how much people who live in large cities start devaluing each other that we need to even ask this question.






I totally wouldn't do anything.
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  #46  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:50
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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Another bleeding heart.

Puhutes, if you can't spot a bit of humour then more fool you.
You wouldn't be American by any chance?
I am American and I got the Humor. You were channeling Cher.
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  #47  
Old 23.02.2012, 13:59
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I am American and I got the Humor. You were channeling Cher.
Alright already!

I apologise to all Americans, anyone I've ever upset with my inhumane comments, and anybody else who knows me.

Sheesh!
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  #48  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:01
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

I would stop throwing slices of raw onion at her.

I was only trying to give her an early Basel Fasnacht experience.
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  #49  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:06
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I apologise to all Americans, anyone I've ever upset with my inhumane comments, and anybody else who knows me.
I don't know you. Where's my apology?



Beer would kill two birds with one stone*

*No birds were harmed during the typing of this post**

**Well some birds somewhere will have been harmed (probably by cats or tractors), but not by me.
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  #50  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:08
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

I would ask her if she is fine.

I remember times when the day was terrible for me and I had a tear or two flowing down my cheeks while on tram. I am sure people saw me and my state but none really bothered. I would have felt touched and a little better if somebody cared to ask me just out of humanity
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  #51  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:09
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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Yesterday, when I was coming back home, suddenly I heard somebody crying at the tram. I just glanced quickly and saw a woman carrying a small baby. A few other people also noticed her. I just wonder: "What should we do in such a situation? Ask if everything is OK or better not to interfere?"
Do what you do with all other human beings; pretend she does not exist and if her inconsolable wailing annoys you look at her sternly with lowered eye-brows and let the silence fall pointedly on her very existence and failure to appropriately blend into the grey corporate neon tube-light landscape we all have to endure on a daily basis.
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  #52  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:12
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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If this wasn't Switzerland, I'd say form an orderly queue to slap her, Airplane style.

But here it'd just turn into a brawl, and nobody wants that.

Best stick to the local solution and stare at her.
Surely the local solution is to light up and blow smoke on both her and her baby?
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  #53  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:17
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I probably would have just handed her a tissue, I always have them on me. If she then tried to communicate then follow her lead. I once offered a cough drop to a woman who was coughing a lot at the tram stop. She gladly accepted it and tried to thank me in broken German. I replied in English and that put a huge smile on her face. The cough drop also helped a bit I think.
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Old 23.02.2012, 14:23
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

Love the post, also love this bit! I should add it to my signature

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Warning: Dyslexic armed with a spellchecker : If yuo can raed tihs tehn dnot cmolpain to me aobut spleling.
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Old 23.02.2012, 14:25
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I probably would have just handed her a tissue
That's also a good idea. You can send her the pink slip in the post later.
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Old 23.02.2012, 14:27
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I probably would have just handed her a tissue, I always have them on me. If she then tried to communicate then follow her lead. I once offered a cough drop to a woman who was coughing a lot at the tram stop. She gladly accepted it and tried to thank me in broken German. I replied in English and that put a huge smile on her face. The cough drop also helped a bit I think.
I choked on my water the other day on the tram and had the biggest coughing fit. I got the entire section of seats to myself though. Much better than a cough drop.
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  #57  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:27
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That's also a good idea. You can send her the pink slip in the post later.
First I would have to get her email address from one of the EF mods to do that.
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Old 23.02.2012, 14:32
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I probably would have just handed her a tissue, I always have them on me.
TMI


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I once offered a cough drop to a woman who was coughing a lot at the tram stop. She gladly accepted it and tried to thank me in broken German. I replied in English and that put a huge smile on her face.
And now, one marriage, six kids, one divorce and a repossessed house later, you wish you'd kept your Locket in your pocket.
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Old 23.02.2012, 14:32
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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I try and ask if I see someone crying or being visibly upset. Because I've been there and I know how much it means when one person does ask after 50 or so have just walked past like you're not there. Even if there's nothing they can do, at least you feel then like you are still a part of this world and not an embarrassing invisible person.
Just the recognition that someone in the world cares enough to ask if you need help can make a difference. I once, many many years ago when my first marriage was on the rocks, had something of a breakdown at work, left the office and cried all the way home (a 1.5 hour commute on tube & train). No-one asked if I was OK.

Maybe it's different when it's a man doing the crying?
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  #60  
Old 23.02.2012, 14:54
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Re: Woman crying at the tram. What would you do?

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Just the recognition that someone in the world cares enough to ask if you need help can make a difference. I once, many many years ago when my first marriage was on the rocks, had something of a breakdown at work, left the office and cried all the way home (a 1.5 hour commute on tube & train). No-one asked if I was OK.

Maybe it's different when it's a man doing the crying?
As a male who is constantly cutting onions before boarding a tram, people do notice, they usually point and laugh, and some take out mobile cameras and post to youtube. I've gone viral far too many times
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