Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01.05.2012, 15:46
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: zurich
Posts: 6
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
ACBaldrick has no particular reputation at present
Swiss turning down appointments

Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle

Whereas I would have expected informality from foreigners in CH, my recent experiences show that swissies are/can be much better at turning down agreed appointments. And I am not speaking about dates, but simple appointments...

... I think I am better of with the foreigners around. More serious people...
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01.05.2012, 16:00
PaddyG's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pensier, Fribourg
Posts: 9,243
Groaned at 118 Times in 102 Posts
Thanked 16,857 Times in 5,912 Posts
PaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

I'd have a very pertinent response to this..


but I have to wash my hair.
Reply With Quote
The following 11 users would like to thank PaddyG for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 01.05.2012, 16:02
grynch's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Geneva/Vaud
Posts: 4,945
Groaned at 50 Times in 46 Posts
Thanked 5,199 Times in 2,354 Posts
grynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank grynch for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:13
Jim2007's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kt. Bern
Posts: 4,782
Groaned at 246 Times in 195 Posts
Thanked 7,859 Times in 3,465 Posts
Jim2007 has a reputation beyond reputeJim2007 has a reputation beyond reputeJim2007 has a reputation beyond reputeJim2007 has a reputation beyond reputeJim2007 has a reputation beyond reputeJim2007 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle

Whereas I would have expected informality from foreigners in CH, my recent experiences show that swissies are/can be much better at turning down agreed appointments. And I am not speaking about dates, but simple appointments...

... I think I am better of with the foreigners around. More serious people...
Well at least there are some new ones in there, I've never heard of the last 3 being used up to now... must remember them...

Test a bicyle....... not in a million years would I think of that one
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Jim2007 for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:19
Mélusine's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Lutry
Posts: 3,945
Groaned at 32 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 5,656 Times in 2,264 Posts
Mélusine has a reputation beyond reputeMélusine has a reputation beyond reputeMélusine has a reputation beyond reputeMélusine has a reputation beyond reputeMélusine has a reputation beyond reputeMélusine has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

If I were you I'd rather be worried about why all my invitations are being turned down...
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Mélusine for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:24
MusicChick's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,428 Times in 10,577 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Mélusine made me laugh...

I think people are just used to being honest about stuff, maybe, while in other cultures you would hear something more diplomatic.

And I think you meant to say sincere, not serious.


Sometimes people just get busy and in their own world, I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist for that. When you get busy turning people down, you don't notice how others word their excuses..
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:45
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bern
Posts: 1,421
Groaned at 51 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 1,742 Times in 719 Posts
simplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

They have better things to do than to meet you and they say it? How dare they! Just tell them that you don't want to hear the truth and give them three options for an acceptable excuse, e.g.
My mother/sister/husband/child is very sick
My boss wants me to do some overwork
My friends from Fidschi are paying me a visit and will fly back home tomorrow.
Isn't this the way it's done in the rest of the world?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank simplon for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:51
MusicChick's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,428 Times in 10,577 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Something that will definitely work here is "i got my laundry day"..
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank MusicChick for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 01.05.2012, 18:54
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

But you know in advance when it is laundry day- so why accept the invitation in the first place!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01.05.2012, 19:18
drmom's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere in SG
Posts: 2,341
Groaned at 12 Times in 12 Posts
Thanked 2,187 Times in 1,050 Posts
drmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

are these personal or professional invitations? (not sure I know what you mean by invitations...)
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank drmom for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 01.05.2012, 19:21
swisspea's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: From one side of lake Zurich t
Posts: 6,356
Groaned at 42 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 6,459 Times in 2,966 Posts
swisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
are these personal or professional invitations? (not sure I know what you mean by invitations...)
I had a similar thought: "What are you trying to sell?"
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01.05.2012, 19:29
Jack of all trades.'s Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 813
Groaned at 22 Times in 15 Posts
Thanked 667 Times in 325 Posts
Jack of all trades. has a reputation beyond reputeJack of all trades. has a reputation beyond reputeJack of all trades. has a reputation beyond reputeJack of all trades. has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle

Whereas I would have expected informality from foreigners in CH, my recent experiences show that swissies are/can be much better at turning down agreed appointments. And I am not speaking about dates, but simple appointments...

... I think I am better of with the foreigners around. More serious people...

Are you new to Switzerland? I assume this to be the case. Try not to jump to any conclusions and exercise a little patience. The Swiss like to spend considerably more time before becoming friends than some other cultures.

Perhaps you may want to re-think your method of making appointments with the Swiss. Perhaps you may have pressured these people a little too much to accept your invitation.

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. Brian Adams.
Kind regards.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Jack of all trades. for this useful post:
  #13  
Old 01.05.2012, 20:23
Captain Greybeard's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Sarganserland / NW Lower Penin
Posts: 3,518
Groaned at 43 Times in 37 Posts
Thanked 7,410 Times in 2,314 Posts
Captain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle
Still much more valid than having to bite a testicle.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Captain Greybeard for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 01.05.2012, 20:26
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,739
Groaned at 72 Times in 51 Posts
Thanked 3,973 Times in 2,142 Posts
rainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
Well at least there are some new ones in there, I've never heard of the last 3 being used up to now... must remember them...

Test a bicyle....... not in a million years would I think of that one
Au contraire - that's the only valid one ;-)
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank rainer_d for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 01.05.2012, 20:36
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 8,643
Groaned at 314 Times in 241 Posts
Thanked 19,853 Times in 6,918 Posts
k_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
Recently I have accumulated a number of quite frustrating situations when swiss colleagues turn down firm appointments for the most incredible reasons, among others
- having other invitations,
- having to cut the grass in the garden
- having a meeting with a nanny
- having to test a bicycle
If these are business appointments then I really wonder what you are trying to sell them.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank k_and_e for this useful post:
  #16  
Old 01.05.2012, 21:04
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: St Louis, France
Posts: 228
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 214 Times in 79 Posts
Manley Hopkins is considered knowledgeableManley Hopkins is considered knowledgeableManley Hopkins is considered knowledgeable
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

I once was quite put out when a 'friend' said she couldn't visit us with her husband and child, as we'd agreed, because their vacuum cleaner wouldn't work and they had to buy a new one straight away! (wasn't very good for our egos..) It wasn't in Switzerland though..
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Manley Hopkins for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 02.05.2012, 07:03
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bern
Posts: 1,421
Groaned at 51 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 1,742 Times in 719 Posts
simplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
I once was quite put out when a 'friend' said she couldn't visit us with her husband and child, as we'd agreed, because their vacuum cleaner wouldn't work and they had to buy a new one straight away! (wasn't very good for our egos..) It wasn't in Switzerland though..
Only understandable if the vacuum cleaner broke down at least half a year ago. It must be very uncomfortable to free the way by killing cob webs, tons of dust and dirt with a machete
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02.05.2012, 23:12
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Erlenbach
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 8 Times in 3 Posts
Xinnie has no particular reputation at present
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

I feel the excuses are most likely sincere! Being part of the Swiss population, we have duties that might appear very unusual to newly arrived inhabitant ;-)
I've been thinking quite a lot about this kind of misunderstanding between the Swiss and foreigners (from almost any country, moving here) , and I have come to the conclusion, that the Swiss think of their society as integrative or a common, shared culture, among different strata of societies ( ..My English is awful !) ; they dislike "parallel cultures" living in the same society side by side, kind of ignoring each other; which is why people are so much watched or stared at in everyday situations.
I would advise patience and tolerance; before throwing in the towel altogether, please wait and give us time to show you, that we are just like you; we just have a lot of societal duties, that we sometimes don't understand, but feel we must do.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Xinnie for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 02.05.2012, 23:16
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Erlenbach
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 8 Times in 3 Posts
Xinnie has no particular reputation at present
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

I apologize for my confusing post! To clarify slightly, Germans who have moved here recently, often call Switzerland " Wie in der DDR, in schön". "Here it is like it was in Communist East Germany, but it all looks more beautiful."
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 03.05.2012, 08:42
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bern
Posts: 1,421
Groaned at 51 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 1,742 Times in 719 Posts
simplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Swiss turning down appointments

Quote:
View Post
I apologize for my confusing post! To clarify slightly, Germans who have moved here recently, often call Switzerland " Wie in der DDR, in schön". "Here it is like it was in Communist East Germany, but it all looks more beautiful."
Hm, I didn't know that the wages in the German Democratic Republic were so high. I must ask my cousins who grew up in this country.
Reading some posts herem it makes me wonder how the government of the DDR would have reacted to an internet forum like this. Let's call it englishforum.ddr on which everybody moans about everything and anybody. I guess, foreigners would be happy just to face expulsion, but as a citizen of the glorious socialist paradise you'd risk at least a couple of years in prison.
Yes Switzerland has indeed much in common with a communist country.
Sometime I really wonder what schools are for. Don't they teach history anymore?
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Daughter turning 16 - what are the Swiss entitlements? Guest Permits/visas/government 28 25.11.2011 09:47
Strassenverkehrsamt - Booking New Appointments smbuzby Transportation/driving 1 09.06.2010 11:02
Pay 100% for cancelled appointments kate lauren Finance/banking/taxation 4 26.10.2009 21:04
Making appointments JonC Complaints corner 4 31.01.2008 10:19


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 01:07.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0